My Four Year Old Daughter Is Almost Always Pretending to Be a character(Elsa,etc

Perfectly normal.
My daughter used to put a stuffed animal in an Easter basket, stick her feet into an old pair of my red pumps, and tell me that she was "Darfy" (Dorothy), the stuffed animal was "Dodo" (Toto), and my old shoes were her "lubby feepers" (ruby slippers). She and Toto would go up and down the "yellow brick road" (my hallway) to the "Emerald City" (her room).

She also had an imaginary dog named Cooper, who went everywhere we went, and she would amuse herself in the grocery store by throwing an invisible ball for Cooper to fetch.

I see nothing wrong with this and my daughter did it too at that age. I think kids don't get enough pretend play, some parents push them so hard to grow up and forget that they need to just play.

every now and then one of the characters i *was* floats across my memory, and i'm SO happy to see them again! i sure wish i could remember all the wonderful characters (and creatures) i was back when my brain was fresh and fertile.
she sounds wonderful. don't worry about her. reassure your mother, and don't let her stifle your bright, inquisitive, free little girl.
if you're busy or over it you don't have to participate, and it's good for simone to learn that not everyone will always enter her wonderland with her. but her mind is her own, and unless her imagination is interfering with real life ('i don't have to brush my teeth, i'm a lion'), she should get to be in charge of it.
everything in your post sounds great to me except your worry. if the amount of tv and tablet she has each day works for you, don't get hung up in what other parents say is the 'right' amount.
i'd love to hang out with simone. she sounds like my kind of adventurer.
:) khairete
S.

Sounds like she is a very imaginative and creative child. I wouldn't get too concerned at this point. You might want to get her into community theater to showcase her talents! Or at the very least, some other kind of extra-curricular activity, like dancing or music, where she can express herself in ways other than role playing.

I was just watching my boys play last night and thinking wistfully about being young and having these amazing worlds pop up around you with so little effort! I think my entire kindergarten and first grade was spent with a group of 3 or 4 other girls where we were all fairies. We even stuck little signs over our cubbies at school with our fairy names on them. It was so much fun, I have some great memories of that time. Definitely nothing about not wanting to be me, just wanting magical powers and wings...lol...

It sounds like she is creative and having a great time. I would not be worried a bit, I would be proud of her :)

And she is probably more likely to develop her imagination with books than with screen time, so I wouldn't panic on the TV/movies :)

Your mother is not correct. I don't see what's wrong with it.

I think she sounds perfectly fine. She is creative, with a big imagination and the ability to act out her favorite stories. I never would have thought for a second that it meant she was uncomfortable in her own skin. She seems like a happy kid from what you've described.

She might enjoy some kind of theater camp or children's acting workshop this summer. You should look into what is offered in your area.

Does she have a lot of opportunities to interact with other kids? Since she isn't in school, make sure you find other ways - classes, playgroups, park meetups, etc - for her to socialize. Maybe you'll get lucky and one of her friends can be the man with the yellow hat for awhile. :)

She has a great imagination and is very creative. These are her gifts to share with the world. Encourage her to use them.

Completely normal. So are kids who have imaginary friends. Don't let your mother alarm you. She is putting adult sensibilities on a 4 year old.

Your daughter has not lost touch with reality - this IS her reality and it's completely fine! She does other things - she reads, knows her letters, and more.

Your daughter is creating a social circle for herself with all these characters - how fun is that? Assuming she does things with other kids, in play groups or the neighborhood or the library story hour, and assuming you take her places where she is engaged (children's museum, aquaria, whatever you have in your area), she's completely fine.

Honestly, I would put her in Mother's Morning Out so that she has other kids to play with. It's nice that you're home with her, but it would be good for her to have more structure.

I love the idea MamaDuck has, community theatre.

You don't say how "lenient" you are on the weekends. If it's a lot, I'd drop out of weekend TV or movies altogether. It's great that she's so imaginative, but being herself, and letting Mommy be Mommy, is important too.

Normal, and actually desirable.

Please have confidence in YOUR parenting and your instincts here. Do not let your mother's very misplaced and old-fashioned concerns make you worry. Your daughter is normal -- even better, she's creative, and this will pay off later if you encourage it and don't try to squash it. Be confident in your instinct that tells you to play along with her; do not listen when your mother -- who is placing her own adult concepts onto a young child's play -- thinks this somehow indicates some mental issue of being "out of touch with reality."

At age four, your daughter has no idea of what "reality" means. She does, however, understand "fun" and "stories" and that is what the pretending is about. Unless Simone has suffered some real and serious trauma that would make her retreat into fantasy unhealthily-- this is fine. It is also pretty normal for a kid to do this for what seems like every single moment to an adult. This is a stage that will pass and is important to her development and her understanding of who she is, what interests her, and how stories work. It is NOT some sign she is mentally ill.

If she were a teen who crept home, closeted herself in her room and insisted she was someone else, and had no friends, or whatever -- yeah, reason for concern. If she were pretending violent things, that would be cause for worry, or if she were acting out inappropriate things that are too "old" for her age.

But she isn't! You describe a sunny, happy preschool-age child who is reaching out and involving you in her play. That is all good, mom. And it's normal for kids to adapt the characters they know from movies and books. So read her even more books every chance you get! I would reduce screen time in favor of books and more books, ones you read to her as well as ones she can "read" herself.

The fact she pretends and wants to involve you too means that she is very comfortable with you, mom. You want that, believe me.

Get some good books on child development that talk about imagination in preschool-age children, and copy the relevant passages for your mom. She really needs to get a grip or she's going to make you nervous (she already has) and is going to squash your daughter's beautiful imagination!

All too soon this will taper off and end and you don't want to regret that you spent these days (and months) telling Simone, "No, don't pretend."

You might even have your pediatrician tell your mom that this is developmentally normal. In fact, your daughter might end up being the kid in school who likes to write stories, or who is the one the other kids love to play with because she's so much fun, or she might be the one who is especially creative in years to come when she does projects.

One thing -- I would really consider preschool for her so that she is ready for the kindergarten classroom setting. A good quality preschool will help her learn to listen to and follow adults who are not you or dad or grandma, and will help her learn to move from activity to activity without being upset or insisting she keep doing what she's doing. If, now, she ever finds it hard to stop pretend play to take a bath or eat or do something she has to do at that time -- preschool can help kids learn that when it's time to stop doing X and move as a group to doing Y, they can cope. You can also help by telling her gently, "Simone, it's time for X. Can George go home now while you do X and he can come back later?" If she resists, see if George or Elsa or whoever she is would like to come along for X. Seriously. It won't hurt a thing.

But whatever you do, please don't listen to your mom on this. If she is not receptive to hearing this from the doctor or she rejects what development books say, you need to learn to just smile and say, "Mom, I've got this covered and Simone is fine, and creative. Please do not tell her to stop pretending. I will handle it if it's time for her to move on to another activity."

If your mom babysits Simone a lot, frankly, I'd watch for whether your mom has other ideas that show she doesn't "get" young children's development . That would be an issue, to me.

Vintage-

My boy is 4. He attends pre-K in a class with a lot of girls. He's decided that both he and I should grow our hair long enough to touch the floor (like princess elsa). He expands on this idea daily. Today he suggested that we might need to sit in a double stroller and have daddy push us around so our extra long hair doesn't skim the ground and get dirty. He said we should make sure that the stroller has a sun shade so we could pull it down if it is rainy, windy, snowing, or sunny. He allowed that if we go to the beach we shouldn't use the stroller as our towel dried hair might drip and cause the stroller seat to get wet and rusty etc.

We think that his imagination is great, and love that the narrative is becoming richer and more layered. This is his way of piecing together how the world works, and it is empowering because he gets to control the script, whereas there is little that he gets to control at 4 years old.

Speak with your ped if you are at all concerned.

Best,
F. B.

I think it is normal. My 5.5 year old, Maggie, has invented an entire village full of people, rules, and events. They have parties very often, and her best friend is Rosetta, who is an invisible ghost. She has a lot of birthdays and she also gets into trouble when Maggie blames her for something she has done. Maggie Village is a safe place where everyone usually gets along, but sometimes the Trolls do some mean things, or the Fairies are not being nice to the Princesses, etc. Maggie has generalized anxiety, and it seems to really help her deal with real life and her autistic nonverbal little brother. Maggie is in her 2nd year of head start, and will be going to either kindergarten at a charter school or 1st grade at the feeder school next year.

I think this is normal to help kids learn how to deal with life in the world. They way you describe her, I can see your daughter being the next great screen writer. I know that even as an adult I have gotten so wrapped up in the characters in a book that I have gotten mad at them, and stopped reading until I was ready to go back. My husband laughs at me so hard! I think your little on is completely normal.

Many 5 and 6 year olds do the same thing! Yes, it is normal! My daughter is 5 and a half and I see other girls at preschool doing this. One little girl insists everyone call her Elsa and another little girl has told everyone her name is how Julia...she has been doing this for months (her name is Emmy). My daughter daily wants to pretend she is a cat. She insists daily that other kids play cat with her or pretend she is their cat. When my son was in preschool he always wanted to be the same two girl characters from his two favorite cartoons! He was not shy about it with his friends either. He outgrew it. I think your child is just enjoying herself pretending and has an active imagination and it is nothing to worry about. If you want her to branch out more try engaging her in activities that don't necessarily involve pretend...go to museums, an art class, ride the tricycle outside, go draw with chalk on the sidewalk and blow bubbles, go to a trampoline place, go ice skating, go to the pool. Have her get outside of her head and do some more physical things. But really, I would not worry. TOTALLY normal.

Please let this go. Your child is pretending to be other people - that's actually pretty tame. When one of my kids was that age, he spent months pretending he was a dog. A colleague of mine has a son who liked to frequently pretend he was Thomas the Train. Totally normal.

This is normal, and shows that she has an active imagination. I've seen this kind of behavior in many bright, active, confident preschoolers I've known. Your mother's concerns are unfounded. She may not remember what 4 year olds are like.

Also, your daughter's level of media exposure seems reasonable. Kids with too much media exposure tend to exhibit less imagination, not more. But if you're concerned, cutting the TV will do her no harm.

My daughter lived an active inner imaginary life as a preschooler. She once spent two months when she was four as a pink and purple princess giraffe. At 13, she is an amazingly put-together young teen who now uses her incredible imagination for computer game design and creative writing.

Do not listen to the doubting voices. Based on the way you've written about your daughter's imagination, YOU value it. And you know she does. Trust yourself on this one.

It can be normal. Or not.

My son went through a very creative age (around 3-4 years) when he was constantly a character. He'd even go to his closet and do his best to dress the part.

The question I have is this: How much time does she spend playing with actual peers?
From your post there is no way to tell. It almost sounds like you are her sole playmate. If that is the case, then I would work diligently at providing opportunities for her to share play time with peers. That may solve the "issue" (such as it is) all by itself. But if she already spends adequate time with peers of her own (several hours a week with other 4 year olds), then I might be a bit more concerned and begin limiting the times she is allowed to play this way somewhat.
You know, at dinner time, for example. "Simone, it is family time at the dinner table. Pretending is not ok during meals." Or something along those lines. During actual play time, it's perfectly fine. It is play after all. But times that are not *play time* it isn't appropriate for playing. And that is how I would address it.
Just like it isn't appropriate to shout/scream/yell indoors (that's an outside thing), or spit watermelon seeds onto the floor (but the dirt outside is fine). Some things just are not appropriate in certain times/places. Play time, fine. Not play time, then no being in character.
Start small and gradually extend when it is not acceptable.
(Riding in the car and going to the store *can* be fine to be playing in character. But discipline should always be straight up, to Simone, not some character. So anything that is serious should be addressed that way. If she is well behaved in public, then fine. If she is a mess in public, then don't allow being in character as you will be working on a lot of discipline during those times.)

Pretty normal to me.

I think it's ok.

I bet if you didn't participate, she'd stop. I think it's nice you do (I lose interest after a while with my kids ... I say "mommy's got to get dinner on...") but yes, mine are superheroes, pop stars, you name it. I can relate :)

I think it's only a problem if they can't be out of character ever. My mother taught kindergarten for years, and one child used to come as a character every day. It changed periodically, and the kids had a hard time keeping up.. so my mother would sometimes say it was time for "Sophie" to participate (instead of the imaginary character). So some of the time they encouraged it (and the other kids would play imaginary roles too) and other times they encouraged the little one to share and participate as herself.

I think a balance is good. They kind of grow out of this over time, but I love imaginative play and I encourage it too :)

I think your TV time is fine. She may get some of the characters from TV, but that's entirely normal. Mine have been Elsa and Anna too!

Sounds pretty normal to me. No?

I think she watches too much tv/video.
Reduce her screen time.
Yeah all kids go through a stage like this but if it's getting excessive then cut back on her source of scripts.
It might be adorable now but it sounds like it's already starting to wear thin.
She's at an age where pre-school and playing with other kids her age will help her learn some social skills and prepare her for kindergarten.

My 11 year old will read books and talk about them for weeks. We don't role play the characters, but she takes the lessons from them and applies them to her daily life. I don't see how this is any different.