My Daycare Provider Put My 1 1/2 Year Old to Sleep in a 'Big Girl' Bed.

Updated on August 21, 2007
K.H. asks from Lakeville, MN
4 answers

I recently found out that at my daughter's daycare, they've been putting her to sleep in a toddler bed. (It took everything I had not to BAWL on the phone.) I'm not ready for that- at all! When she started there 3 weeks ago, I specifically stated that I like her to nap in a pack n play as we still use a crib at home. That was blatantly disregarded. She's only 21 months old. We got a BEAUTIFUL crib that I wanted to use for a good other year.. but now? It makes sense as to why bedtimes have become a hassle.

What age were your kiddos when you moved them to a big bed? Certainly not under TWO, right? I dont know whether to be angry at her provider, and switch her to a pack and play which will no doubt be confusing, or give in and get a bed. She isn't sleeping well in the crib anyway- I'm not sure the bed is a solution or will just add to the problem. (She's never been a good sleeper.)

The house and provider she goes to- are excellent! But the mom is a free spirit who I can tell does her own thing. I would have liked a heads up that my child was sleeping in a real bed instead of a pack n play. (That I specifically asked she be in.)

What are your thoughts? And.. does anyone have a toddler bed they want to sell? Should I be switching her? (We're moving in the next 6 months, too.) So I hate to have SO MUCH differences between home/daycare and sleeping.

Help.

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So What Happened?

I talked to the provider, (she is wonderful.) She explained that they didn't have a pack and play as they originally thought. My daughter is not trying to crawl out of her crib in anyway- so I do NOT want to move her to a toddler bed. (Plus?) She's a handful. If I put her in a bed she'd be running all over the place.

Other issues came up with my provider, (her other daycare children were picking up my daughter and hurting her.) New rules were implemented, and all is going well.

Thank you for all your replies!

More Answers

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J.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Trust me, I know it's so hard to let your little peanut grow up. And I would have been irrate had my daughters daycare provider taken the step to do something, that we as mothers think of as something very big and special, without even letting you make the choice, she just went ahead and did it. So you do have the right to be upset, and I would definitely let her know that in the future, when it comes to doing something different with your daughter that she must first consult you.
As for the new sleeping situation, just cave in and let her get a big girl bed, she'll think its so great and be so excited, and even more exciting for you, you'll get more rest.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had a little monkey who at about 15-18mos. old was climbing out of her crib and would get her leg over the top rail and then either sucessfully climb on over or fall to the floor trying. She also slept with me alot too so that could be why she wasn't doing great in her crib. So for safety reasons I got a toddler bed. She never took to the toddler bed, it was a waste of money and has been in my bed ever since. Probaly doesn't help much but that's what I did.

I know daycare center's will leave them in a portable crib til they're transitioned over to the toddler room where they are then on a cot on the floor where it's safe.

When I worked at a inhome daycare we kept the kids in a crib or pac-n-play til about age2, then we transitioned them to a mat on the floor and it was usually when they were mature enough to learn to stay put.

I have a cousin who takes everything away at age1. Bottles, pacifiers, and the crib. She moved both her daughter's straight to big girl beds and they both do amazingly well.

Then I know plenty of people that keep their lil one's in a crib til age3.

I don't think there is exactly a right or wrong age. I did the change out of safety but would have loved to keep my "baby baby" in a crib longer.

Like right now my daughter needs a booster in the car but I'm just not ready for that so she's in a 5pt. harness and 6years old.

Do whatever you think is right and comfortable. I would be upset that your daycare lady is making big important changes for your daughter that should really be your decision not hers.

Try and talk to her that sleeping in two different types of beds is confusing and your having problems at bedtime at home and that if you could both be on the same page it would reduce stress and confusion with your child. Offer to bring a pac-n-play maybe she's had another child that needs hers and moved your child up to give the other child the pac-n-play.

Daycare is hard, I don't think it's ever exactly 100% what we want. I've had problems everywhere I've ever sent my child some problems I had to bite my tongue and just live with other's I removed my child depending on how serious it was. Right now my daughter has to much freedom at daycare and isn't supervised 100% of the time. But it's one of the best choices I have, not perfect but when I weigh the options it's better than my other choices.

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

i think you have every right to be upset. Transitioning a child to a new bed is a major step for a child. It is something that affects the child in a big way. Parents need to be very attebntive when making major transitions for children b/c the child may act differently, etc. My daughter was 2 when we switched her to a big kid bed-and only b/c we had baby number 2 coming. Our pediatrician said not to move your child until she is trying to climb out of the bed-it can only cause nighttime problems and/or dangers )falling down stairs/going into bathrooms/etc.) I am a daycare provider myself, and I think it is horrible that your provider took it upon herself to make such a huge decision for your child. Change in a toodler's life isnt easy for them. Im sure your daughter did fine in the bed (did she) but it could be b/c she isnt at home in her element and didnt know how to react. either way-if you are moving and feel like making the switch-great-but you are right...too much change at one time can trigger stress in a child. i say make your wished clear to your provider and if she wont follow them-get a new provider. parents and providers have top work together and be consistent in everything. children do not take to change well-and who blames them? why is okay to eat sugar at daycare but not at home...that kind of stuff. its important that you and your provider are on the same page with everything-otherwise the only one hurt in the end is your child. good luck

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B.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

I switched my daughter to a big girl bed at 18 months because we had another baby on the way and I wanted to make sure she was transitioned enough. She had no problems, in fact, she slept better. She was a poor sleeper too.
As a daycare provider, I have a little boy that slept in the crib at home and grandmas but at daycare slept in a bed or on a sleeping bag. He did just fine with te differnt sleeping arrangements mainly because of how we(parent, grandparent and myself) handled the sleeping. He knew how to go to sleep at each place. It really depends on the parent and the provider. I would talk with the provider so that you will be more informed of what is happening at daycare.

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