My Daughter Won't Take a Bottle - Woodbridge,VA

Updated on November 05, 2009
S.T. asks from Woodbridge, VA
13 answers

Hey all-I've been breastfeeding my daughter who is now 4mo since birth. She has taken bottles on a daily basis one sometimes two so that dady or someone else can help feed her. All of a sudden in the past month she won't take one and I'm tired. All she does is scream and cry so hard that she throws up. My husband and I have tried others feeding her trying to continue with the botttle no matter what, tring different nipples and bottles (more than 5 times per bottle) refuse any breastfeeding (lasted about a day-10 hours to be exact) and it ended with her in tears and me upset that any lactation nurse would reccommend this. My girl is stuck on breastfeeding. If anyone has any tricks up their sleeve that I'm not aware of let me know. Thanks ahead- Love my daughter it's just that I nee a break once in a while.

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J.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Ya know it's funny. I am a mother of 6 and let me tell you one thing. These little angels know that they are in control of the situation. I hate to say this, but if she is hungry enough, she will eat that bottle. Plus at 4 months, I gave all my babies a little cereal. Sooooo, if it gets to where you can put a few spoonfuls of cereal in her, that would hold her over and then try a little later to plug that bottle in again. Also, my kids hated certain nipples too. I get the colored bottles with the regular old nipples. No fancy bottles, they seem to have to short of a nipple. Hope this helps :)

Jules

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C.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi S.,
My husband and I went through this exact thing with my daughter, and I actually think it's pretty common. It turns out that we never did manage to get her to take the bottle again. I feel bad telling you that, because when I was going through this I tried absolutely everything and I turned to the web for advice (I didn't know about Mamasource back then), and whenever I read that people had to give up trying I'd feel very helpless. I needed a break and couldn't get one. The only advice I can offer is to try to make peace with the fact that you may try everything and the baby may still refuse the bottle. You'll end up just settling in and breastfeeding until she's weaned to a sippy cup. It won't last forever and it be over sooner than you think. Then you'll probably look back at the bonding time and not mind at all that she didn't want the bottle. (By the way, gel nursing pads can help tremendously if you are sore.) I think the whole experience of my baby not taking the bottle was my first lesson about being adaptable and realizing that the baby has the ability to change or nix any plans I might have in the works! Best of luck.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't know if this will be helpful, but my son went through this. It started at 2.5 months (after he had been taking a bottle with no problem) and lasted about a month and a half. Nothing we tried worked - different bottles, me being there, me not being there, him holding a shirt I had worn. He would scream like we were torturing him as soon as the bottle went near his mouth.

In the end we just kept trying regularly and he must have grown out of it because one day he drank happily out of the bottle and he has been fine ever since.

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hang in there. In a couple of months, your daughter will be able to eat solid food if she is hungry. For now, you can nurse just before you leave and then again when you get back. There's no perfect way to predict when your baby will want to nurse but babies cry for lots of reasons and can be comforted, entertained, and distracted with just about anything - try walks outside, water, mirrors, toys. Caretakers don't need to give a bottle.

If the baby is hungry, they could try to give breastmilk in a tiny cup/shotglass. If she is thirsty, they could try water in a sippy cup - the adult has to hold it and help with tipping it. Some babies get less mad about the cup than the bottle. Friends and family often want to feed the baby but there are plenty of other ways to connect with babies. Some babies need to be carried to be happy. You might not realize how often you carry the baby if you have an older child who you are chasing around but other caretakers might have the expectation that the baby will sit or lay quietly without being walked around. If your caregiver tries the stroller or is open to using a baby carrier, things might go well enough for you to get a break without returning to a screaming baby. I have to say though that my little ones would sometimes burst into sobs when I returned which did make me feel guilty. That said, they benefitted immensely from relationships with other adults and I always felt better after a couple of hours of time out.

Good luck. They grow up so fast!

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T.B.

answers from Norfolk on

oh boy! this happened to me. I have no solution. my daughter breastfed for 17 month and took a total of 5 bottles in that entire time! it was a very trying time! I ended up having to leave the house for 4 days to break her cold turkey / wean her! she survived and so did I! and my hubbie did too! we just started the cup very very soon...so I could have a break every now and then! look into sippy cups with weak nipples ...so she does not dump stuff all over her!

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S.M.

answers from Norfolk on

Neither of my boys would take a bottle at all. I introduced a cup to them both at 4 months to save my sanity. I believe that it is now recommended that you not start babies on food until they are 6 months, but at the time I started both of mine on cereal then veggies at 4 months. As frustrating as it may seem now, starting them on a cup was a blessings as I only had to wean from the breast not the bottle too. You may try to offering a cup and some cereal made with breast milk when you are away and even offering it yourself for one meal a day to get your little one used to it. I always rewarded my boys with a nursing session after all attempts at a cup and food. Once they learned that the food was new and different and we could read their favorite book while drinking from a cup that they didn't get with nursing it seemed to them to be a great idea and gave me a break. Just know it will take time (like 4 - 6 weeks maybe) to get them acclimated to the new way of eating and drinking.

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E.T.

answers from Washington DC on

I am answering assuming the bottle is full of expressed breast milk. If it is formula, perhaps you want to try expressed breast milk or change the formula.

Were you present when someone attempted to feed these bottles? If you are in the same house, baby knows. My children both gladly waited out my absence rather than eat a bottle. If they were really hungry, they would eat, but preferred to wait. They would go the entire day at daycare with only a bottle or two. As the babies get older, they have a greater ability to wait.

I have heard several things. First, there is nothing magical about bottles, you can try some sippies. Second, have the feeder try facing the child away from them. Basically make it as unlike breastfeeding as possible.

Also, if you have a friend who is experienced with feeding babies bottles, let them try. There are tricks.

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

It is the best and most natural way to feed a baby at mothers breast. Your daughter wants the best. Why fight it! You are being a very good mother to breastfeed. Treasure the relationship you are building with your daughter. Before you know it she will be grown and you will look back on this brestfeeding time as a very positive experience. Hang in there! AF

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E.R.

answers from Washington DC on

S.,
I had a similar situation except that my daughter started out refusing the bottle altogether. We tried about nine different kinds...it was so frustrating and I felt trapped, like I couldn't do anything independently because she always wanted to breastfeed. I was going back to work and was at my wits end about how she would eat while I was away. About a week before I returned to work she took the bottle...not large amounts, but enough. She took it at daycare no problem and somewhat from my husband if I was gone. She always preferred breastfeed however....The bottle that ended up working for us was the Adiri....we tried it earlier and she rejected it...but she finally took it when we reintroduced it. Also she took the bottle first from me...I know that goes against what many people say...I started by breastfeed her a little and then tried the bottle afterwards. She didn't more than 1/2 oz to 1 oz at first but that felt like success. I also had luck getting her to take it when I carried her and did the bouncy walk...In her own time I am sure your baby will come around...in the mean time you will be frustrated! Good luck.

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C.A.

answers from Washington DC on

This also happened early on with my third child. I had heard about this with others and didn't understand the frustration until I experienced it. I just got a free-flowing wide, soft, nipple sippy cup -I think it is made by NUK. An adult had to hold it for a while and it often made a mess, but she soon got the hang of it and then took a filtered sippy cup when I didn't BF. She is now 12 mo and it actually turned out kind of nice that I now don't have to wean her off a bottle if that's any slight encouragement. Good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Both my children were just like yours--they did not want to take a bottle. We tried everything. I have to say it was a lot less stressful and more relaxing once I just accepted the fact that this is the way it is. Try to find ways to relax and rest while feeding your daughter. Enjoy the fact that you can take her with you everywhere and don't have to drag around all that bottle equipment, etc. This may not be the solution you are looking for, but it is another way of looking at it. Another thing I did was start feeding them baby cereal and baby food as soon as the doc said ok (age 4 mos). This will cut down on the frequency of nursing, especially if you mix the cereal with breast milk. Good luck to you! Things will get better soon!

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E.E.

answers from Washington DC on

I know how you feel!! My daughter just turned 5 months and has also refused the bottle every time it has been offered to her, once going 16 hours with nothing to eat because she was so stubborn (She was sleeping and then I was at work; I fed her as soon as I was able and she was offered a bottle repeatedly)! It's a very common thing for babies of this age to refuse the bottle. Babies lose their sucking reflex around 3 months and since it is now a choice rather than a reflex, than can become very picky as to what they will drink from. The book "Milk Memos" has some great information on it (a must read for any WAHM but a great read for every breastfeeding mother).
The only way we have been able to get my daughter to take milk when I'm away is to offer it via oral syringe (like the kind you use to give your kids medicine). We use a 5cc one and slowly push it into her mouth. She resisted at first (and it takes forever!) but it gets milk into her. Once she has taken some milk from that for a while sometimes she will start to drink the milk straight from the bottle. It's like she needs a reminder that milk can come from a different source. Others I have known how have had to syringe feed say that their children eventually went back to take the bottle just fine, it was only a temporary need. Others have suggested that I try a valveless sippy cup but we haven't done that yet. I hope you are able to find something that works for you! I'm interested to read the responses from others and try some of their advice myself!

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T.P.

answers from Norfolk on

It sounds like your daughter has spoken! And after all, she is the boss :) . I'm not sure I understand the need for supplementing with the bottle 1 or 2 times a day, especially since you are blessed to be a SAHM, not needing to pump/store breastmilk in order to go to work. You mentioned that it gives Daddy or someone else a chance to feed her, and gives you a break.It may have worked for you for 4 months, but at this point it sounds like it is causing you a lot more stress trying to bottlefeed once a day, rather than giving you a break. As for Daddy, there are lots of other ways he can bond with baby and give you a break (bathtime, etc). Sounds like the easiest, most peaceful, logical response is to breastfeed your baby for her feedings and encourage Daddy to take over bathtime!
Mom of 3 in NC

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