My Daughter Will Not Use the Bathroom to Go #2

My daughter had this problem also. She was potty trained for #1 at age 2 and never had an accident. She was in daycare and never went #2 there. She would save that for home. She'd come home, put on a pull up, make in it, and then I would help her take it off and clean up. I guess I shud have enforced that she clean up alone, but I just didn't have the comfort level to cleaning up a big mess while she learned. I tried many things, games, offering a reward, nothing worked. This went on while she was 4, and dare I say, close to 5. I asked her why she doesn't do poopy in the potty and she said because she was scared of the "poop snakes". If I saw another parent buying large size pull-ups I would ask their advice. When I tried not allowing the pullups in the house she just held it in and would cry and get terrible cramps. I cudn't do that to her and gave her back her pull ups. One time, on her own, she made a poop in the potty, before she was 5. I was so happy, I don't know why she did it, but after that, it was never an issue again. When I was going thru this, one friend told me, "Don't worry, she won't go to college in diapers" and she was right.
good luck
J.

Get rid of the pull ups. Completely. At 4, unless there is a medical issue, this is probably a behavioral habit that is hard to break. Good luck!

My daughter is 3-1/2 and I just went through the same thing with her. I did the same thing as Angela. I would encourage her to try to go in the potty, but if she wasn't ready to try then I would let her have the diaper. She had to stay in the bathroom while she pooped, preferably sitting on the potty. After she was done, we would flush it down the toilet. I would talk to her frequently about how she was growing up and that one day she wouldn't need diapers anymore because she would poop in the potty like Mommy and Daddy and Dora and all the other big kids etc.. I talked about what a big day it would be when she would go in the potty and that we would have a big party. One day when I knew that she really had to go, I encouraged her to try to go in the potty and she did! I made a huge deal about how great it was. I had some party hats and other things around the house from her birthday and so we put them on and had a little party, did a little potty victory dance and I let her have a treat. Each time she would poop in the potty after that I would make a little less of a fuss about it, but kept letting her know how proud I was of her and what a big girl she had become. Now she does it without expecting a big fuss.

Wish you the best of luck,
B.

My daughter went through this as well, with her she wouldn't sit there long enough to do it simply because she was bored and couldn't take the time to do it. I tried reading to her at first but then her concentration was fully on me and she forgot she had to go, then I started putting her step stool next to the toilet, giving her a big pile of books to read on her own and letting her be for about ten minutes. She hasn't had an accident or refused to use the potty for poop in about three months. It's been great, just an idea, sometimes kids that age have trouble staying still that long.

hello. i am a mom of 4 year old twin girls. they had the same issue. they would do #1 no problem, but aske dfor a diaper for #2....i didn't fight them. i didn't want to create a power struggle or worse, i didn't want them to hold it and then become bound up. so my rule was that they could wear a diaper, but theyhad to be in t he bathroom...we then dumped the poop in the potty, wiped, wasj=hed hands...soon enough, they just went. sometimes by accident when they were doing #1. good luck, be positive!

Lots of times kids are concerned about bowel movements. They have so much substance. Pee is just a liquid that disappears in the toilet, but bm's are there and big and take some effort to make. Its part of them. When they go in a diaper it kind of squishes out, but when they make in the toilet it plops, whoosh all at once. You would think it would be more comfortable, but it scares some kids.
At your daughters age, she should show signs she is about to make. Either getting a glazed look or going off in a corner to hide. When she shows that she is making tell her to sit on the toilet. Dont ask her, this is just something she has to do. She is also old enough to understand what a bm is. Explain that it is like garbage that you throw out. That she eats lots of food and this is the food she doesnt need. God, Mother Nature or whoever is throwing it away. Her bm is like garbage and you have to throw it away. Just like her pee is leftover from what she drinks. When she goes in her pants let her see how bad it smells and tell her again its garbage and then put it in the toilet and let her flush it.
Good luck.
BTW I always trained my kids BEFORE they could talk and argue with me. So its time to train your son..LOL

Hi J.

I'm in the same boat. My son was three in July and poops in his underwear. I have talked to many people about it and to somebody at his school, who says it is very common, believe it or not!! So she told me to let him clean up after he goes #2. Supply him/her with what they need and say. 'Mommy can't help you anymore you do it'! I've done it two times so far. You have to be consistent with it, though. He seems to be coming around slowly. Just last night he came running saying, 'Mommy I have to go poopy'!
So what I do is: put a towel on the bathroom floor, give him wipes and a trash bin. The first time I stayed to tell him what to do next. But I am really just supposed to walk him in there and leave. Tell him/her to call when they need you. Good luck!

Dear J.,

I think you are going to have to get rid of the pull up and put your foot down. She is old enough to understand and if you let this power struggle continue it will. My husband has a co-worker who allowed his daughter to do this and she is now 8 years old and still demands a pull up on have a bowel movement I AM NOT KIDDING!!! She will fight you but if she can do it outside the house then that means there is nothing medically wrong with her it is just a control issue on her part. Stay firm and strong and tell her she has no choice. Good luck.