My Daughter Knows How to Use the Toilet, but Wont!!!!

You are expecting way too much from a 2.5 year old. It's a super distracting age. SInce she knows what to do, you will need to assist her in getting to the potty. Make games out of it (let's see who can make the biggest soap bubbles after going potty).

And please, stop with the pull-ups. She needs to ahve accidents, and you need to accept that accidents are a necessary part of potty learning. It sounds like you are creating a power struggle due to frustration. I suggest putting her in cloth trainers and just letting go of this emotionally.

And do expect accidents till around 4. Kids will pee themselves when upset, they will wait too long because they are playing with a friend, etc.

Have there been any changes in her life? Has she been sick?

She's only 2 1/2, at first it was a fun new thing in her life, then when she realized going potty was an all the time thing she may have regressed. It's perfectly normal. Go back to diapers for a week or two, but encourage going potty. The bigger deal you make of it the more she will resist. Just act like it's no big deal.

She's too young. She's only 2.5 and you started months ago. She's just not ready. Potty training is not an intellectual exercise based on a kid's brain power. It's a developmental issue based on the neurological connection between "full bladder" and "brain".

Do not punish her! This is beyond her control, and yours. Put her back in diapers or pull ups, and go on with your life and hers. You are turning this into a battle that no one will win. Let it go.

Do not be led astray by people who tell you their children were potty trained at 6 months or 12 months! The average is 3, and that means that many kids are after that.

In addition to what others have said, you need to remember that potty training a child is like potty training a dog - it takes at least 6 months to get there. You HAVE to stay with it. I second putting her in underwear. I go a step further and suggest that you make HER change herself when she wets. Also, keep a jar of small candy to give her a treat every time she does it right.

I do differ from many others in that I do NOT believe that 2.5 is too young. Both of my daughters trained early. The key is staying with it. They need to learn to follow their body signals. Their whole life they have not held it, they've just let go, and they need to learn it to the point that it is instinct.

Just because she "knows how" doesn't mean that she is ready. She is screaming to high heaven that she's not ready with her behavior. Stop putting pullups on her, go back to diapers, and ignore this for three months. Then start all over again and don't push her. Be very positive.

If you punish her, and I really mean this, you could be dealing with this until she's 4. Pottying and eating are the only things that little children can control. If you try to battle this with her, she will win.

Dawn

Don't make it a control issue with her. My 20 month old showed lots of interest and enthusiasm for the potty around Christmas and did great for her age with it until this week. Will say her word for potty and then throw a fit if I try to take her to the potty or try to change her diaper. I just give her a choice, potty or diaper change and make the choice hers. After all the fuss and accidents the past few days, she was dry for 3 full hours when we were out tonight. If the pull ups are too expensive, just put her in cheap diapers until she shows real interest again. Keeping her in underwear is probably best but when she is not engaged in training at all, it doesn't matter much. I just switched back to my cloth diapers for that reason.

You have to physically take her every hour on a timer if you want clean panties. Give her a sticker or something each time she uses the potty and encourage her to notice the feeling when she did go potty. It is a process and yes, she may be too young.

Why punish her for somethings she's not ready for? You really need to do this with warm weather. I don't know why it matters but I learned in 13+ years in child care that if you try to potty train in the cold months it's pretty useless.

She'll be nearer 3 plus she can go without a pull up outside when she's playing. No more mopping up pee and pooh off the floor.

The mistake was moving her back into diapers (Pull Ups are diapers, make no mistake about that). What she needed was consistency and at this point you know she can do it, but you have to completely retrain her. Why would you punish her?

Start toilet training over from scratch. Except this time, ditch the Pull Ups and go with underwear. But as much as you expect your daughter to commit to it, YOU DO TOO and that means cleaning up accidents. Accidents are not intentional. That's why you don't punish. You use incentives, like picking out a new pack of pretty underwear herself. Getting to choose a new skirt or pair of pants. Getting to choose a new pack of hair barrettes or a hair band with a flower. Getting some neat crafts to do that she doesn't normally get to do, and having a special craft hour with Mommy.

Make all of these things special outings and things you can do together, and if you do the clothing items then she'll be motivated to keep them clean.

Her body isn't ready. You are not alone, B.. My son is 3-1/2 years old. I have been working with him for about 8 months on potty training. For the past three weeks, I have not had to change a diaper and he is in pull-ups. He is pooh trained, but still has pee accidents. I bought him some character underwear which he picked out. During the past three days though, he refuses to wear a pull-up and insists on underwear. He realizes now when he has to pee. I asked him if he knew before when he had to pee and he said, "no." So, it is definitely a maturity thing. It just takes time and patience with some kids.

I have the same problem with my daughter who is two months or so shy of three and she just will only go when she has no diaper on or at home but will never tell us when she is out. I know with my son he only started really being potty trained when he went to nursery school and he had other kids all rush to the potty and compete with each other to go, but thats boys. I feel she would probably be the same if she went to school with other kids its no fun with just mommy telling her to do something peer pressure works better. Good luck!

Her behavior is showing you that she's not yet ready for potty training. I suggest that her body isn't mature enough yet to be able to control it. She's on the young side for training, anyway. I'd stop with the training. Put her back in diapers. Tell her to tell you when she wants to try again. And then don't ask for 2-3 months. Talk with her about how her body will let her know when she's able to retain the urine. Be patient. She will eventually be able to hold her urine and use the potty on time.

When a toddler is ready for potty training, the training takes weeks, not months.

punishment never works for the child, it just makes the parent feel better.

don't make an issue of it.

put her in diapers. when she asks for underwear, give her underwear - with NO EXPECTATIONS - and NO COMMENTS either. Just say 'oh, you would like some, here ya go'. and go about your business.

As adults, no one sits there and asks us if we have to go potty - so doing this to a child - doesn't make sense.

She knows what she is doing - but she may have it backwards in her head - she may also be just annoucning 'hey, this is the information you want, here it is!' She's 2.5. She's not 7, 10 or 20. She's still connecting language, and knowing her body's signals is not going to be a perfect thing for a while, nevermind all the time!

Give her some small words of 'that's how it is done' when she finally makes it TO the potty. Same if she does it.
After all - no one high fives ME if I make it to the potty on time - although there are DAYS when I feel like I should get a medal or something!

Good luck, hugs, and it doesn't last forever!
M.