So, I am wondering how far I should take this. Just got home from the dentist. After they are done, they are allowed to pick from the bins 2 stickers and two toys. They are things like pencils, plastic rings, erasers, etc. My daughter who is 5 took 4 toys and 2 stickers. She cleary knew she was not suppose to. When I asked her, she started lying how they ended up there. So she now gets none of the toys, but I am wondering if I need to go back and have her return them as well as just taking them away? She is also in her room for the night. Thanks ladies!
Thanks everyone for your advice. She finished out her grounding to her room last night and first thing afterschool today she returned the toys. She did a good job of apologizing, I know it was hard. She had to choke part of it out through her tears, but I know she was trying hard to be strong. They were very nice and told her maybe next time she can get the toys if she follows the rules. I'm glad I followed through, I think she learned a valuable lesson today.
I'd tell her she's good now, as far as dentist toys go, for the rest of the year....NONE next time. Stinker!
My guess is temptation just took over and she had a hard time only choosing 2 toys. Maybe decide for her which 2 she can keep, and make her return the other 2, and she needs to apologize to one of the staff members. She also needs to be disciplined for lying about it and trying to pull one over on you, however you think would be appropriate (no TV for a week, etc.) Next time remind her that she only gets 2, and what happens when she chooses not to listen, and then decides to lie to you about.
to teach her a valuable lesson I would have her return two of them and you get to choose which ones. I would call the office before hand and explain to them what you are doing so when you arrive the tech can explain to your daughter what the rules are again and that taking more without permission means that another child would be left out of getting their reward. also you dont want the tech to say oh thats okay you can have them, then it would ruin the life lesson. good for you for teaching this lesson now as appose to letting your child get away with lying and stealing even though its petty theft, lol. more parents need to be like you and teach right from wrong, instead of blamming others. good for you.
I would take her back to the dentist's office. She needs to return the toys and ask forgiveness. Then that episode is done. Don't drag it out again.
(I would also call the office in advance to clue them in. Forewarned, they will know how to respond to your daughter. She is not the first child to do this, I'm sure.)
Let your girl know that telling the truth is so important that not telling the truth *has* to have unpleasant consequences to it.
This might be a time to start thinking how to handle truth-telling (not just lying) in the future. You want her to learn that whatever she does, even if it's something bad, she can come to you and tell you the truth about it. As she grows older, she'll appreciate that you value her honesty.
i would make her return the toys apologize and next time let her get something. she is only a child and she is going to try her limits.
You did fine. Instead of making her go back and return things, as I am sure many children "pilfer" more than they should, let her know that the next time she goes to the dentist she will not be able to get anything from the bin since she already helped herself.
yep, take her back. My dad did that to me when I was 5 and stole a box of those little foil sticker stars from our local market. Dad took them away and then made me go back to the store manager, apologize and hand them back to him. I never "lifted" another thing. The manager was kind to me each time we returned to "the scene of the crime" and I learned my lesson.
Her age makes a big difference in this. What she did was wrong but it's not the same as stealing, in my opinion, especially to a 5 year old. She's not the first kid, nor the last to take more than 2. It's a gray area that many adults have a hard time with. She should be able to keep 2 of the toys and the 2 stickers. You can tell her you are going to return the other two items or have her return them as others have suggested. Explain to her why it was wrong and that the lying was not acceptable. Staying in her room is a good punishment for that. This is a learning moment for you as much as for her. How you deal with this now, if you deal with it fairly, is going to dictate your relationship going forward. If she acts impulsively in the future is she going to be able to come to you to help her correct her mistake or is she going to be afraid of getting in big time trouble and attempt to hide and lie?
Yes, take her back to return the toys and to say sorry for doing something wrong. This could be a turning point in her growth.
Blessings.....
I see you've already been given the exact advice that I had to offer, I jsut wnated to repeat that you should inform the office that you are coming and why, I have a daughter who we have had a very hard time teaching what belongs to her and what doesn't and we found out the hard way that most places will just smile and say it's okay, they just couldn't help it. Which of course is not helpful at all.
My son once took a bunch of rubber gloves from my other son's daycare. I didn't discover it for a couple days but I made him give them back...even though I knew they would probably throw them away. The act of giving them back and saying he was sorry had a big impact. He's also taken a toy or two from his daycare and he had to hand them back to the teacher. I would take her back to the dentist and have her hand them back to someone and tell them she took more than two and that she was sorry.
