My Dad Always Gives My Daughter Money...

I would have her put $10 in a college fund, $5 into savings (for bigger things she will want... I bet 6 years from now she will appreciate it when car shopping...) and $5 to do whatever she wants with.

I would have her put it in a savings account for her first car. When I have grandkids that will be my plan. $20 here and there over several years will add up and they'll REALLY appreciate it then.

You open a bank account for her and go with her to deposit her money into the bank every week.
Great way to help her save up for college!

Remember, you are still the mom, and you have the right and the responsibility to set boundaries!

We have decided that our kids are at the age of receiving more birthday money and other monetary gifts and that it is time to open savings accounts.

Please consider the savings suggestions you have received so far and consider a plan that fits your values and comfort level.

I agree that it is ok to allow her a certain amount of spending money. But it's ok to put limits on it. That's your job, right? To teach her. And one of the tools we have to help us teach is setting boundaries.

Time for her to get her own bank account. Deposit the money every week. Teach her how to go online and check her balance. Teach her how to use the debit card that goes with the account. Give her some money management responsibility. 10 isn't too young to do this. Then thank your dad for the great teaching opportunities he's giving you and your daughter.

She's 10 years old. She should be receiving an allowance for chores done around the house.

She needs to understand money - how it works and how to save. If your dad gives her $20 every weekend - that's $80 to $100 a month and $1200 a year. She should be saving most of it.

My kids get an allowance - they put some in savings and donate some to a charity. Not every week - but they do save up and use some of their money to purchase toys for our local homeless shelter.

You and your dad need to communicate with each other. WHY does he think it's funny?

WHY do you cave to your daughter's demands when you already said NO? Does NO not mean NO in your house??

Jane - it's great that Paw-Paw gave you money. Why don't you save it for something you REALLY want?

Use this as a lesson. She NEEDS to learn financial responsibility. Just because she has cash in hand does NOT mean she MUST buy something with it. TEACH HER. STAND YOUR GROUND... YOU are the mom. No means NO. Let her whine. Let her cry. Show her the difference between NEED and want. Need? She will die if she doesn't get it. WANT? Nice to have - not a necessity.

You know - your daughter could have enough money saved up in 6 years to purchase a car....I know she's only 10 - but she needs to think for the future...

Definitely agree with others that this is an opportunity for you to talk to her about money. You can help her value the money she receives from Grandpa by helping her learn how to spend it on what she really wants.

I would encourage (or require) her to put some of it in a savings account. Do you belong to a church? This would be a good time to talk about tithing, as well.

There are lots of ways you can turn this into a positive.

It is her money, but you are her mom, and right now it is still your job to guide her. So don't let her tell you that it's her money and she can decide what to do with it. My son received an IPod for Christmas a couple of years ago, and we still limit his screen time. He tries to use the argument that it's HIS Ipod and he should get to decide. But we're the parents, so we get to (must!) decide.

When I was a kid we got 1/2 of our allowance to spend and 1/2 went into savings for college. I had a nice pot of $ for college. The 1/2 we kept we could spend how we wanted. My brother would usually save up for something big. I spent mine on books. Start talking about saving up for something big that she might want.

It's okay if grandparents spoil the kids. Although spoiling her because he thinks it's "funny" is kind of a warped reason to do it. It's your job to balance that out and teach your daughter about real life.

Easy: Have her open a savings account and save at least $10 of it each week for college. Then the rest she can spend as she pleases.

ETA: I like Marie's solution better - $10 for college, $5 into a general savings fund, and $5 to spend. Perfect.

Time to teach her how money works. Just because she has money doesn't mean she spends the money. She should have long term things she's saving for so take some of her money and open a savings account and make a child budget. Your dad is only making this hard because you are allowing him to make it hard. Once you take away the money argument it'll settle down.

This is easy. Use this opportunity to teach her 4 concepts:

Saving
Giving to those who have less
Spending responsibly
Gratitude for the weekly gift

ETA: You are received some very good responses here. I believe you should listen to what these moms are telling you about teaching your daughter about money. It is vital that children learn so they can be financially responsible adults. Think delayed gratification.... Once you delay the decision to spend, think about what you want to spend it on and what you might be able to do with money that earn interest instead of a new toy.. Many times, I have delayed a purchased and taught my daughter to do the same. Most of the time, when you practice delayed gratification, you end up not buying what you "wanted". If more people would be conscious and practice this method, there would not be some many people in the world living check to check and some might actually do well financially in the long run.

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I would think you would appreciate it. It is normal for grandparents to spoil their grandchildren. I don't understand your comment of he thinks it is funny.

She is 10yrs old, I would have a bank account set up for her and have her saving it (at least most of it) for college and a first car.

When I go back and visit family I give each child a Morgan Silver Dollar in an enclosed plastic case for them to collect. When I bought the Morgan's, they were roughly $12 each and some of the ones I have given are now worth upwards of $30 each.

I say be appreciative and save it. Communicate with your child so she understands that grand dad's gift is specifically for her and stress saving most of it. It won't be long until she is ready to enter college or gets a driver license and wants a car.

Children grow up and out fast. Our daughter is in college and lives about 20 minutes away in our condo. EVERY time she comes over, at least once a week, my hubby goes and fills her car with gas, washes her car and leaves at least a $20 bill in the car. There is nothing wrong with that, we love her and she knows the value of a dollar by the way she has been raised.

Why are you turning a good thing into a bad thing? You are mom, use this as a teaching moment.

When my kids get money they are supposed to put part of it into savings, give part of it to charity and they are allowed to spend part of it. This goes for allowance money, gift money and earned money. Use this as an opportunity to teach your child how to manage money.

Start saving it! A certain portion to save, spend, and give to church or if you are not religious an organization that she chooses(animal shelter etc). I would love to have this problem! When my kids get money they can spend some but I make them save it. Ones a natural saver, the other one burns a hole in her pocket but I am still trying to teach them how to best handle money.

i'm not seeing the funny.
i'm also not seeing the problem.
i don't buy that your dad is inundating your daughter in money to annoy you. that's such a weird way to look at it.
each time he gives her money, let her have a couple of bucks from it and put the rest in a savings account for her.
why is this even an issue?
khairete
S.

Wow...I would so LOVE that!! I would think of it as a great way to teach her how to spend, give, and save! I wish I could afford to give all my kids that much money each week!

How about she has to give some of that money for any lessons she takes or activities she likes to do?

I have a resource to recommend that could help your daughter become a wiser spender. If you go on Amazon, you can find a comic book in the Chester the Crab series called, I think, Comix Economix (or Economix Comix, I forget which). it's a good teaching tool. It's easy to read and a little silly, but it also teaches kids economics basics, including the concept of opportunity cost. If you spend the money now, the opportunity cost is the more expensive thing you won't be able to afford unless you save. It's not that you always have to choose to save your money - it's that you need to be aware of what you're missing out on and think it through.

Explain to her that one day she is going to want a car. And Paw Paw won't be buying her one. So, she should be saving $15 a week which will add up A LOT over time. Also tell her that when she needs rides from you when she is 17, you'll remind her of this and buy her not a car, but a nice pair of walking shoes!

One set of our grandparents always gives to our kids and the other set pays for things like piano lessons. I gladly accept both - but it's reasonable. I can see where 20.00 a week say just on toys would become a bit excessive, so like the idea of saving some of it. Good plan.

If your dad is doing this to undermine your position - then that's a bigger issue. That's not so much about the money and your daughter as your dad going against your wishes. I would just talk to him and ask him why he does it if it aggravates you.

It's a grandparent thing - I would accept it graciously and then manage it on your end.

Good luck :)

ADD: If your dad would actually get mad that you're helping your child become financially literate, then he sounds like a major jerk.

Involve her in it - let her save for something - then it's HER choice. Same for a charity - what she loves and wants to support.

Hit the library and find a book about money knowledge that's age appropriate for her and do it together. It's a skill that many of us didn't learn from her parents. It'll help her through her whole life.

ORIGINAL: Don't know why it's funny.

How is this making it harder? If you and your dad have a dysfunctional relationship, that's a bummer, but I'm not sure what's going on here.

Start teaching her money management - this is a MAJOR opportunity for her to learn about money, the power of saving and investing. Split it in half. Or do 5 to spend, 5 to save, 5 to invest and 5 to donate.

She's approaching her teen years. She needs to know this stuff. Treat her a bit like a smart young woman and see what happens.

Don't let whatever's going on with YOU and your dad mess up the grandfather thing. And use this opportunity to help her learn and benefit from this. She could save for something major (a bike, or whatever "big" event), or just save for the future, whatever.

I'd let her do what she wants to with her money from Grandpa. But if she has too much stuff already, work on purging some of her "stuff" before she can accumulate new things. Donate to charity. Get her involved in the process. My DH at one point had a rule that our kids had to get rid of 3 stuffed animals before getting any new ones because like a lot of families, the stuffed animal collection was getting ridiculous. You can teach your daughter gratitude by having her write you Dad a nice thank you note for each time he gifts her and let him know what she's done with the money. If certain places are an issue, and you just feel it's getting excessive, you can limit your visits. Or just set a rule before you leave the house for example, that you are not going to buy anything at the gift shop, just to visit the zoo exhibits, for example. And have her leave her money at home before you leave so as not to tempt impulse buying habits.

maybe your dad does it because he knows you struggle and can't afford things and he wants her to still have things. You need to tell her from now on when pawpaw gives her money its the 80/20 rule. 20 percent she can keep to use on whatever and 80 percent goes into an account designated for her schooling later on. and tell your dad that is whats going to happen. Grandparents like to spoil grandchildren. My father in law always gave our kids money also. My husband said to him once why didn't you give all those $10s and $20s to us. He said because I was struggling raising you kids. Now I have a little extra since I'm not paying for the day to day. I would just start teaching her about money and how she is not going to blow it just because its there.

What we do with my daughter when someone gives her money is that half of it goes to savings and she can spend the other half. Sounds like it's a good time to teach your daughter about saving and spending and saving up for things she wants. My daughter enjoys her lego sets more when she's saved up for them than when we just buy them for her.

How sad for her that you can't let her manage this money and learn to get rid of things. That's what she needs to do. If she has too much then she could simply learn to make room for new stuff.

Start requiring her to save a certain portion of it so she can learn about money. But in the end if you really need your dad to stop you have to talk to him, and be firm. Tell him he can give her money gifts for special occasions but that he is spoiling her and that if he continues to undermine you with your child you will stop letting him see her as much.

But, ask yourself first, is it really that big of a deal? $20 is not that much and it is nice he can spoil her a little, as long as it is not making her bratty. And if there is something you don't want her to get you can still say no, even if it is money from grandpa.

Added after reading your SWH: if Paw paw gets made you are making her save some of it then you just tell Paw paw that if he has an issue with that then he can stop giving it to her. You are the mother, you get to make the rules, it is that simple.

Why not put the money in a savings account and let her manage her funds? My kids get $20 per month from my husband and I and they also get money or things from my parents when they see them. They have learned over the years that they want money in their accounts, but they have money to spend if they want it.

They know that it's not wise to waste and always ask for their balances prior to shopping or purchasing anything. Your daughter needs to learn about saving and spending. Use this to teach her.

Perhaps you can look at it as an "allowance" that you would give her if you didn't have the financial burdens of single parenthood. You can certainly draw a line in the sand and forbid your father from doing it, especially if he's really doing it to tick you off. But if you forbid it, if he's that insensitive, he will just give it to her on the sly and tell her to keep the secret from you. That's a bad thing to deal with as she enters her tweens and teens.

I'd work on financial management with her - as suggested below. Go down to the bank and open a children's savings account. There are no fees for minors, and there's a small amount of interest. Figure out a good division of money. When my son was younger, we had a 4-way division. Some went into the bank (untouchable) savings, some was his own discretionary cash (spend now however you want), some went into his own savings at home (save up for something he wanted like a big Lego set, but still his own decision), and some went to charity (then we'd work together to decide where he wanted to send it). For the charity box, he'd choose several projects throughout the year - if the school did something, if the letter carriers did a food drive (we'd go to the store and he'd choose/buy food), etc. His choice, my approval. If a charity held a yard sale, he could use charity money to buy stuff for himself because it still benefited the charity, so there was a little "wiggle room" on buying stuff for himself only if it helped others.

You might do $5 in each fund, or any other division you like. A lot of people use the figure of 10% for charity, so you could do $2 there, $8 bank, $5 her own longer term savings, and $5 for whatever she wants in immediate spending. $8 in the bank x 52 weeks = $416 a year. In 8 years when she's age 18, that will be a terrific nest egg for college or an apartment.

Open an account in her name and ask your father to put the money in the account and let him and her know she can have what ever amount after earning it, otherwise, it stays in the account.

I don't think he means harm. He just wants to make sure she has what she needs. Your daughter has not learned independence yet, let him know she needs to learn to be more independent.

Of course, let her spend some of it, on occasion, I'm sure it's intended as
Fun Money!

I have in-laws like this, it's a long family tradition.
All the elders do it for the kids.
"Some green for the hand"

What a beautiful gift your father is giving you both.
Be thankful! You get to try to teach her to LOVE to save some of it & watch it GROW!

$20 a week is a lot for a 10 year old. I like the idea of a savings account. Then, she can buy something big--like an iPad or something.

If our kids are going to learn good financial skills, they need to have money to work with.

I suggest 10% to tithe (or charity), $5 to spend, and the rest to savings. Be sure you actually open a real bank account and take her monthly to deposit her savings into it.

I don't see anything wrong with your dad giving her this money. It's not making anything harder on you....in fact it's giving you an opportunity to teach your daughter about money sense. Don't get upset about it...THAT is what he finds funny!

On your "So what happened"....I'm glad you're accepting the fact that you're going to have to put your foot down.

It sounds like this is a control thing. Quit playing the game of telling her no, then giving in because he gave her money. It's not about whether or not she has money - she doesn't need something from the store every single time you go - that's called being a spoiled brat. The savings idea is A GREAT ONE and exactly what I was going to say. But you will have to stick with it and not cave. If you know he will make a stink about it, be prepared for that. Be prepared and know how to handle it - and give your daughter the tools to handle it when he says something to her about it, too. Something like, "It's a lot smarter to save money than to blow it all, Paw Paw." would put him in his place. He needs to back off - which he won't unless a line is drawn. You don't have to be rude or hateful, but you do need to step up and be the parent - don't let him keep overriding you.