My Children Will NOT Eat!

Greetings W.: We were blessed to live in Guam while my children were young and I learned from mother's there that they feed their children in a relaxed way & with foods like Lumpia, and fresh spring rolls made with rice paper. I filled the lumpia with fresh vegetables and some with shrimp, chicken, or pork. Then you deep fry the lumpia. The children can hold their food and eat on the run.
Fresh Spring rolls are made with rice paper and you fill it with lettuce,rice noodles,fresh spinich, clintro,shreeded carrots,cucumber, zucchini all of these things are thinly sliced. then just roll it. It is not deep fried and my children loved them and still do.
Just eatting fresh vegetables or fruits it good and healthy for them. Good Luck Nana G

Hi W.! My name is W. too! I struggled the same way you are and 5 years ago I was introduced to Juice Plus+ gummies when my children were 3 and 6. It changed my life! The gummies are 17 different fruits and Veg's in a sweet gummie form that children love! They do not have partially hydrogenated oils like most gummies out on the market. Let me know if you would like a sample or have any questions. You can also go to www.jpfamilynutrition.com to learn about jp+ and childrens health.
W. vaz ###-###-####

W., you might want to follow up on this but I read a report on this matter where a doctor said that at that age they only need 4 to 6 ounces of protein per day! I really would not worry and please try not to talk too much to them about eating so it doesn't become an issue. N.

No worries...they will be fine. You can make smoothies. I bought a Vita-Mix and it works great! Any blender will do.
You can start with
1-2 T frozen Orange Juice concentrate
1 t fish oil (or any special good stuff)
1 T protein powder ( I like Trader Joes Vanilla Flavored Soy Protein Powder). The milk ones are good too.
1 t. flaxseed meal
1 T. Dry milk (if you want....just MORE protein)
Then add 1/2 cup any yogurt, 1/2 bananna, 6 frozen strawberries and any other fruit......6-8 large ice cubes.
The smoothie can always be simple.....yogurt, frozen fruit and protein powder. Use pretty wine glasses and straws.

They are probably not eating because they can tell it is bothering you and if they hold out they will get something sweet to fill them up. We learned to offer our daughter healthy balanced meals with a veggie, fruit and meat and she can eat however much she wants. They won't starve. Kids may not eat a balanced meal every day but over the course of a week they probably get everything they need. keep giving them healty choices at the meals and don't beg or bribe, just ignore what they eat or don't eat. after skipping a meal or so they will eat. also remember kids can only eat a meal that is about the size of their fist. They need much smaller portions then adults do. if your children are growing and the dr isn't worried everything is fine.

Make sure you are not feeding to much milk/formula or dairy products throughout the day. Excess milk consumption can have a huge impact on desired calorie intake from other foods.

Secondly, there are deficiencies which can occur from this type of situation, and these deficiencies will cause more food avoidance. it is a vicious circle. Too many sweets in the diet can cause b vitamin deficiencies, and b vitamin deficiencies can cause anorexia type behavior. too many sweets and carbs/processed foods will cause chromium deficiency. Chromium is needed to help normalize blood sugar, so taking chromium will help with that, and also reduce their cravings for all those sweets. Take vit c and niacin with chromium for uptake. Low Vit A levels can have an impact on appetite.

I find I crave sugar when I am thirsty. In the evenings when I am dehydrated is when it hits me. More water can help with sugar/salt cravings.

Our bodies are fine machines and need a good balance of minerals - only small imbalances can make a huge difference.
One easy way to get good mineral intake is to have them take fulvic acid(not folic acid). It has 60 trace minerals that many of us have low levels of many of these. It is rather tasteless, so I can get my kids to take it no problem. It's safe. Look it up online!!!!
I think another fine product to give children is orange flavored Cod Liver Oil (walmart). It has one of the highest sources of vit A.

ps...if you look up the sugar/carb content in pediasure, you will fall over. Stay away from feeding them that crud. Yes, it is crud. You can get your minerals from fulvics with out all that sugar.

ahhhhhh, I have a 3 year old who lives on air and a 1 1/2 year old who has not stopped eating since he got here.
children eat when they are ready and when they are hungry. Offer them food at all meal times, leave out snacks that are healthy and they'll eat. they may be stubborn (OHHHHHHHH are they stubborn) but they will not starve themselves.
doesnt' make you feel any better as their mom, I know from experience. But one day they'll wake up and eat you out of house and home, I promise.

Is there anything they do like that maybe you could give them a healthy alternative to? My son liked the pediasures, but instead I made him fruit smoothlys with yogurt, frozen berries and a spoonful of pure protein powder. I swear he lived on them for a week. You could put carrot juice in there, some ground cucumber....anything, they'd never know as long as they see you put the fruit in ha ha.

be sneaky mom, you can do it :)

Good luck, and take yourself off the "bad mom" list.....you're doing awesome.

K.

Hi W.,

Well, I have a couple of thoughts for you.

1. It's true, they will eat when they are hungry but it's hard to imagine a good night with grumpy, hungry and stubborn kids. But, if you are up to the challenge, this should fix itself.

2. My Dr. always said, you decide what, where and when to eat and they can decide if they'd like to join you.

3. You might try involving them in the cooking process if you can. Stirring the pot, dumping the ingredients into the pot etc.

4. We recently added a knife to the silverware for my son (2 years old - its the toddler knife) and he LOVES it. Even though his food is cut up for him, he'll imitate us and eat away. He even ate tomato the other night and he "doesn't like tomatoes".

5. Have dinner plated and on the table then call them in for dinner. I don't know why, but this works great in our house.

6. Only healthy options in the house will help keep you strong. If Finn is screaming for cookies and we have some, I'm much more likely to give in. If it's not an option, it's not an option. :)

7. Lastly, if #5 is no good try just putting empty plates on the table in their spots and start serving yourself (and your husband?). Kids want to be a part of the action and they might surprise you with a request for some of whatever it is you are eating.

I hope something works out for you soon!
T.

Hi W.!

I have a food struggle with my 4year old & 19 month old. I almost never am able to get them to eat dinner. The youngest is really only good for one meal a day. She is a snacker too. So, I just knuckled down & didn't buy any snack items and if either child wanted a snack, it had to be fruit, veggies or cheese. Maybe an occasional cracker (wheat). It seems to be working. I also cut down how much milk they get in a day - it fills them up. My husband also pointed out that other cultures don't eat large dinners at night, something we are just programmed to do. So, now I make sure they eat plenty at breakfast & lunch, then we have a much smaller dinner. Recently we had fruit dipped in peanut butter, some pretzels, cheese & milk. They loved it! An added bonus, since it was not too hot outside, we ate dinner in the backyard. Good luck & hang in there!

My daughter is 5 now and my only child. I struggled with this same issue and spent way too much time being frustrated and worrying that she wouldn't eat. I found myself caving all too often when she wouldn't eat protein & veggies and give her something else that she would eat like fruit or yogurt or cheese. Although I still consider these healthy foods, I regret giving in because now she still doesn't eat veggies too often. But I learned not to worry about her not getting enough food...yes, she will eat when she's hungry. She often would not eat dinner and then complain at bedtime that she was hungry and I felt so bad about it that I would give her something. I got very tired and frustrated doing this and it took me a long time to stick with "I'm sorry you're hungry sweetheart, but we eat at dinner time not when it's time to go to bed. You will just have to wait for breakfast." At dinner time I began to remind her that "This is your dinner and we are not having anything more to eat after this, so if you are hungry you need to eat now." It takes a few days, but you MUST be consistent and not give in. Because they are going to test your limits every time. This reminds me of a great book "Setting Limits" which talks about how children are always looking for boundaries and how important it is to be consistent (something I struggle with constantly). Good luck to you. Be strong, it's tough being a mommie. :)

Typically if you eat healthy food, your kids will too. Find out something healthy that they'll eat and work outwards. Don't get stressed out about their not eating. Make eating fun. Make fruit and veggie faces on their plate and give them healthy dips. Everybody loves dips. I've always put a huge variety of foods in front of my kids and they both eat a varied and good diet. WestonAPrice.org is a great site for nutritional info. Try avocados, eggs, cheese, hummus and crackers, organic tortilla chips, tuna fish, carrot sticks (they're sweet), celery and peanut butter or other nut butter, sprouted whole grain bread with lots of butter, apple slices, cut up fruits, strawberries. Experiment with portion size and plate size. Some kids get overwhelmed by large portions or plates. Give them just a little bit at first. Its always disappointing to waste food and they can always ask for more.

Good luck!

What I have found that works for our family is to NOT prepare separate meals for the children. Prepare healthy, well-balanced meals for the entire family that they are given, also. I try and always have a grain, protein, fruit and/or veggie with every meal. Then they must have one bite of everything before they can get second helpings of any one thing. Once they are done, I'm fine. I don't bother them about finishing up their plate. In addition, I am firm with set meal and snack times - no grazing in between times. If they whine and say they are hungry before the next eating time I remind them that they should have eaten more at the earlier time - they now know to eat enough at each meal time. They also must eat at the table. Hope it heips! My kids are now 6, 4 and 3 and eat a wide variety of foods.

Hi W.,

Have you heard of Juice Plus+? It is 17 different fruits and veggies minus the salt, sugar and water in a capsule, chewable or gummie. It is backed by excellent scientific studies. It gives me piece of mind that my kids have been taking this now for 6 years and are very healthy! I love that it is not an isolated vitamin, but a whole food product. It is out nutritional safety belt. Check it out at www.StudiesOnJuicePlus.com

Take care!

L.

YOu've gotten lots of great suggestions! Since your kids like sweet things, don't buy what is not healthy for them (candy, chips, etc). You are in control of what they eat, don't let them be. They can have healty choices, but you control the choices. My kids love fruit since it is sweet. It is almost like candy to them, but much, much healthier! I always hold the fruit until last. When I see that they are close to leaving the table, I bring out the fruit and they almost always rush back to the table (if they've left) or it picks up their appetite. LIke many moms have suggested, try smoothies or yogurt. There are some good healthy kids yogurts with DHA in it. My kids love the yogurts, especially since it is hot. My oldest loves smoothies, but my youngest doesn't. Just try it and see! Try some freeze dried fruit. You can find them at Costco by Brothers All Natural. You can also find other types at the grocery store. Whole Foods even has freeze dried veggies. My daughters love freeze dried corn (crunchy corn). It's like eating popcorn!

Good luck!

Trust me, there are some kids who will NOT eat when they are hungry. Our son hates to eat. The thing that would make him happiest would be if we told him he didn't have to eat that day, I kid you not. We put our foot down and told our son if he didn't eat a meal, no snacks and he ended up missing multiple meals and didn't care.

If your pediatrician isn't concerned, then don't worry about it. The doctors will definitely let you know if it's an issue. Our son wasn't gaining weight fast enough and we were told to let him have junk food by the doctors. Went against all we're taught as parents, but we learned the key thing at a young age is that they grow and put on weight. We obviously try to balance out the junk that helps him put on weight with the healthier foods that keep him healthy.

I think some kids are just born with smaller appetites. A friend of ours has a daughter who's the same as our son and we talk endlessly about how frustrating it is. They're under pressure from the doctors, too, to have their daughter gain and were also told to add junk food to achieve the goal. If you're not under the pressure from doctors, don't add it yourself. :)

Good luck! Hopefully it's just a phase in your case.

I have to say I agree with most of what is said here, however......you may want to also see if your children have textile sensitivities in their mouths. Or maybe one does and the other is just following the lead. My son cannot handle certain textures, for example fruits are difficult for him, they are too slimy. It takes a while to break through. In the meantime, pediasure is not a bad option. Do not give them too much, because it can completely replace their eating. When we cut our son back to one a day he did begin to eat more.

No one can give advice about a child who does not eat except a mom who has lived or is living it. Many people will give you advice, but it can be the most frustrating thing about motherhood. YOu know what you are supposed to do, but sometimes you just can't do it. A psychologist once told my mom (mother of two non-eaters) "there are two things about a child you cannot control, what goes into them and what comes out". You can give them good options/choices and education, but in the end it is their choice.

I speak to you an former non-eater. For example, I ate my first piece of broccoli the night I met my husband's parents, and my first brussel sprout last Christmas. Plus I have a son who has the hardest time trying new foods (he ate his first piece of bread at 7 years old). So I know how you feel from both sides. Try not to freak out and turn eating into a battle. Make sure they try new things but make sure they are things they will like, to start. Even if you are praising them for trying a new cookie. Then you can get a little creative and bring in the veggies. Make the trying of new things fun...I wish my mom had.

It is a struggle, there is no easy answer. And each kid is different. It may be a stage your children are going through, or it may be an ongoing learning experience for all of you. My personal opinion is don't change everything suddenly. Getting rid of every sweet in one day seems extreme to me, but that may only be only me. Figure out what your goal is....veggies at dinner, no more sweet treats, less sweets and more fruits, whatever you decide as a family. Work towards that goal. It won't happen overnight. Make it a fun task, reward them for the behavior of trying new foods. Use a trip to the ice cream store for a sweet reward while removing the ice cream from your house. Just an idea.

OK I'm done rambling. This is something that is near and dear to me and I know the frustration. We are still working on it.

They will eat when they are hungry. Just have healthy snacks available that they can get to. Frozen grapes, dried fruit, cheese & yogurt.

The saying" your child will eat when they're hungry" Is easier said than done. Dealing with a child that is hungry can be a challenge not to mention they need food for nutrition alone.
Have you tried good ol fashion bribery.

Do the Dr. Phil method, change your lifestyle, clean out the pantry of any unhealthy snacks, fill your frig with carrots, celery, cheese, and fruit. and see what they eat. When they want chips or a sweet snack, there won't be any to eat, so they'll have to eat celery and carrots.

I agree that they will eat when they are hungry. When my daughter was little and didn't want to eat, I'd let her down and set the plate aside. She would eventually return to it and grab a few bites. Some thing that are sweet and healthy are snap peas, carrots, apples, bananas. Best of luck! C.

Hi. My son is doing the same thing right now. Hes 2 yrs old. He doesnt want to eat. I think the pediasure is a good idea if your kids would drink it. It's not going to hurt to give it to them. I have two other friends that their kids went through this at aroung the same age. I think it's pretty normal just not normal to us moms! Sorry I don't have a solution, just wanted to resure you it's a normal stage.

Maybe stop "trying" to get them to eat & see what happens. Put a plate of nutritious snacks (carrot sticks, bell pepper sticks, string cheese, sugar snap peas, etc.) on the kitchen table as well as a place where you don't mind them eating. Tell them when THEY decide to have a snack they have to stay in the kitchen or wherever else you have food for them. Then leave it at that. Don't bug them about it or remind them it's time to eat. Start with that for a few days & see what happens.

When it's lunch or dinner, tell them it's family time to sit at the table. Have food for them on a plate, but don't remind them to eat. They do have to stay at the table for a time, but then they can go play or whatever.

Once they start eating on those terms (& they will), then you can gradually reinstate a scheduled breakfast / snack / lunch / snack / dinner routine.

Another idea is to put the snacks on a super fun plate or in muffin tin cups - something that's different, will draw their attention & look "fun" to eat. Sometimes you just have to think out of the box with kids.

And yes, they aren't going to starve right in front of your eyes - they're just aware of how much control they have right now & probably enjoy your reaction more than anything.

Personally I wouldn't do anything like Pediasure unless the Dr. was truly concerned about weight loss or they weren't thriving in some way. It's more likely a battle of wills as well as they may sincerely just NOT be that hungry - my son went through several stages of not eating much for a week at a time & then it would go back to normal. Try not to worry!

Good luck!!

Hi W.,

I used to worry about the not-eating thing, too. Someone had told me not to worry because one day they will start eating. So far this seems to have held true for each of my kids--- at a certain age they stopped eating (about your kids' ages). I stopped fighting it and as long as they ate something (a little bit of everything even if it was one bite) and sat at the table with the rest of us to establish what meal time is, then I was fine if they didn't finish everything. Then when they reached a certain age (maybe 2nd or 3rd grade), their appetites kicked in and they started to eat. A lot of the foods they didn't like before, they like now. My kids are between 7-13 years old. The 7 year old eats very little stilll, but the older ones won't stop eating. They snack a lot, and yet still have plenty of room for dinner, barely leaving enough for my husband and I. I would say most of the money we spend on the kids is on food. They eat us out of house and home. In addition, I don't cook entirely according to their appetites.

In the meantime if it really worries you, just make sure they have healthy snacks. Then for meals, portion out very, very small servings of food so it'll look less threatening to them. It'll feel more successful to all if that teeny-tiny portion is eaten. Otherwise I think they will start eating more as they get older. I know, it seems so far away, though! =)

The first thing I would do would be to remove ALL sweets from the home and do not take them to a fast food place till they have broken the sweet habit. Then, gradually bring back HEALTHY treats,canned fruit, once they realize that the sweets are not available. Perhaps pancakes with fruit.
Good Luck!

So normal. Get the book sneaky chef. It tells you how to make pizza and waffles etc.... good for you.

Hi W.,
I was just about to post exactly the same question and saw your post. I do not have advice, I'm in the same position. My 2-year-old twins only eat yogurts, formula and fruit, they used to like cereals and tried different veggies when they were younger, but now no matter how well or tasty I make the foods (and I love cooking), they won't eat anything, only finger foods and what they can eat themselves. I hope it is a stage. I know that they will outgrow it, but meanwhile it's frustrating for me. Good luck!

Dear W.,

Yes they will.....they have you trained, you need to reverse the situation. It is true; they will eat if they are hungry. Make ALL sweets OFF LIMITS (with the exception of fruit) and even that until they eat what you give them. Serve small portions at regular intervals. Make the sweets a treat for those who finish their meal.

Blessings……