My Child Is Not Sleeping in Her Crib

Well, I was about to recommend a toddler bed, and I see some other moms have done so as well. Your daughter may associate her crib with being sick and afraid, a change might be good for her.
Sorry for all you've been through! It looks like you have probably not had a "normal" schedule for some time now, and kids thrive on schedules and routines. I would suggest getting into a good routine throughout the day, it will take a few days and then your daughter will know what to expect. My 2 year old wakes up at the same time every day, eats the same things, plays, knows when it's nap time, etc. Sounds boring to us, but they love it! Then get into a good bedtime routine. Your daughter needs to feel that bedtime is a good thing, and not scary and upsetting. I start early with my two boys (around 6:45, aim to be in bed asleep no later than 8), they take a bath, put on pjs, brush teeth, stories, drink of water, then lights out. There is always a lot of stalling, we just go back in their room quickly help them out, then say good night. Just be consistent, nurturing and firm. Also, they sleep with a night light, and we leave the door slightly open, with the hall light on. Both boys have lots of stuffed friends in bed with them as well. A little added security never hurts!

What is wrong with you Ladies, why would you make your children vomit for too much crying???
They need us and sometimes more than other times, so we have to suck it up (I know it's hard) and make sure we give them that security they can have only from us.
I don't believe in hard ways and (pretended) indifference towards the children, it's a selfish way to solve our problems with them, not theirs.
N., she needs you now more than ever and you have to be there for her as long as she needs. If she requires to sleep by you a little longer than you would like, so what? The day she'll be ready to be by herself will soon come and by sending her away when she doesn't want to you'll just postpone that day.
Don'y you Ladies remember that sense of security when we fell asleep in our parents's arms?? Why would you want to force things so hard?
They come first, our needs come second, welcome to motherhood.
I hope I didn't offend anybody, N. this is not directed specifically to you, but rather to all Moms that think "the hard way is the best way". Luckily not all of us think so.

Good luck with you little angel, she'll feel stronger soon thanks to your love and devotion.

S.

N., my son just had his open heart surgery last November, so I know how that can affect them. I hope your daughter is doing well from hers. I keep a sleeping bag in my room for when my kids wake during the nite, so they don't get into my bed, but I haven't had problems getting them to go into their beds. Maybe you could move her to a toddler bed, to see if that might get her excited enough to sleep in there. It worked for one of my friends whose DD was almost 2. She let her pick out her bedding and that made her happy. I moved my 2nd son into a toddler bed early, and I know it wasn't easy keeping him in it as he fell asleep. There was alot of putting him back in. But I kept a gate at the doorway so he couldn't get out of his room, and eventually he stopped getting out of the bed. Sorry I have not better advice. GL.

((Heart Hugs))
K.
CHD Awareness Week, February 7-14, 2007

Hey there i use to have that problem with my son not wanting to sleep in his bed. Maybe u could try to get a bed time routine down with her like a bath before bed or story time something to let her know time to go to her bed and sleep.My son usually falls asleep watching tv at nite.

i wouldn't stress over it. she will eventually get back into the groove. possibly get her a toddler bed if she is ready.she went through a traumatic time w/surgery and maybe she needs that security right now.

I'm sorry about all of your problems. I hope all is well now. We had the EXACT same problem with our oldest. He would cry until he vomited. And he would only fall asleep downstairs. It was horrendous. We have enacted a bed time ritual now. We brush his teeth, read a story etc and he goes to bed a the exact same time. It makes it a little better. There's still a fight, but it's manageable.

Also, have you thought about a toddler bed? I was pregnant when he was doing the whole screaming every night and vomiting thing, so we all went and picked out a toddler bed together and moved him into that, but we moved it into our room. He slept there for a few months, and then we moved him back to his room.

Try the toddler bed, and involve her in the process.

Hi - I can say this; my husband at 34 had a 3-bypass after a massive heart attack taking a stress test at a routine physical - NO prior heart issues EVER. In shape, very random event. His life changed FOREVER. He had panic attacks after, and PTSD; both are very real and very scary. He took a very very mild anxiety medication for a few weeks then slowly came back to feeling like himself. Please talk this over w/ your ped.! And possibly the pediatric cardiologist... it's so traumatic for an adult, I can't imagine a baby who's 100% dependant on you already. Good luck, and I will pray for your little angel and family as well. God Bless you.

I know just how you feel. Blame the sickness and lack of consistency. Everytime our daughter (2) gets really sick I let her sleep with me. I feel better at the time because I am close to her if she needs me, but when she is well again it's always a HUGE struggle to get her back to normal sleeping routine. She has been in a "big girl bed" for a few weeks now and then she got sick, so she's been sleeping with me. Now that she is well I had to put her crib rail back on because she would not stay in her bed throughout the night. So far we are at night #3 of screaming psycho fits between the hrs of midnight and .... it has been hellish. I feel horrible listening to her wail, but last night it was a little better so just hang in there and be consistent with your routine. Remind yourself it's just a bad habit and it can be broken. Just be patient and stick to your guns. I am not going to do the sleep together when sick anymore! It's too hard for both of us to go back. So... good luck. You both can do it but it is HARD!

My daughter was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks and was in her own room...things went well for a while but changes kind of snow balled and keeping up got hard. So she too had a hard time falling asleep and was waking up through ut the night. So what I did was right after dinner I take her up to the bath. I turn on the night time tunes and let her play with her toys as I wash my face and brush those teeth. Then I use the nighttime formula milk bath by I think it's playtex and bathe her. I then give her a massage and dress her. This may sound crazy but I lay down in her crib with her and talk and sing for a little bit then lights out. When she was totally knocked out I slept in the glider next to her bed. when she woke up I was right there and it eased her worries. I just rubbed her back kissed her forehead and she will fall right back asleep. After I knew she wouldn't wake up no more I would go to my bed. The next morning when she would wake up I will make a big deal about how she was a brave big girl and give her hugs and kisses for sleeping in her crib. So by making a night time routine worth looking forward too praising her in the morning she now beats me too it sometimes... she says bye bye and starts going towards the stairs and keeps saying bye bye. it's too cute. Hope this helps I know it must be frustrating but there's hope just be a little creative.

N.,
First - don't sweat it. She will only be little once and one day you will miss holding her while she falls asleep. It may seem that you have no time to yourself, but when it is all over, and you are looking back - the one thing you won't have enough of is time with her.
Second - When she is a little older - old enough to reason with and bribe. Try this trick - For both of my daughters when they needed to learn to go to bed (8 years apart), I bought some plastic glow in the dark stars that you can stick to the ceiling with sticky gum. I made a big production of the stars and put one on the ceiling. Then I told her that if she went to bed by herself the next night she could get another star. So on and so forth. Once she had a few stars, then, if she did not cooperate at bed time, I would take one down. All those stars look great on the ceiling every night when we turn off the lights.
Guess what - they are 6 and 14 respectively and they each have been going to bed by themselves since they were about 2. Although, sometimes I still hold my little one while she goes to sleep.

Good Luck.

It sounds to me that both of your worlds have been turned upside down. Children's insecurities come out from change and you both have definitely had changes going on. She's not too young to read a bedtime story or two until she falls asleep. But as I have learned,set a limit NOW on how many stories will be read. Continuously reassure her that things are good. I think we really underestimate how much a child understands. I was never one to let my kids cry to sleep either. What's the point if you're going to be stuck,miserable and cleaning up vomit? Good Luck!

My 12 year old daughter (Tori) had the idea to reward her..like give a speacial teddy bear, candy, trip to the park, or lastly money...Even if it is 5 cents each time...It will add up in time... I think she is thinking she puts the bed with surgery...Goto bed = surgery...

Keep us intouch and let us know if it works out for her..

How is her heart surgery going???

Thinking of you,

R. and Tori

She did recently have a major surgery. She needs that added security. She probably associates going to sleep alone with waking up in pain.

How about trying a toddler bed and laying down with her? If she needs that security, why not give it to her? She had open heart surgery with no comprehension of what was happening to her. Things aren't going to magically go right back to normal.

I can understand that, my son is 22 months, and I STILL rock him to sleep in my arms, and when he's asleep, I just hold him, and play with his hands, and hair and face, because he won't sit still long enough for me to do that when he's awake! (very active and very independent). My husband often has to tell me to lay him down. They're only babies once, and it goes by so fast. Even when I lay him down in his crib, after a few hours, he wakes up and cries, and I go in, pick him and bring him to bed with us, who cares if he's bed sharing, he our baby, and after being away from him all day, it doesn't matter one bit! As long as my husband and I get in our quiet quality time before he wakes up, we could care less.

What I would do is try to take her to her room and sit in there with her until she falls asleep. From experience she will cry and give you alot of troubles. But, you have to get her back in her room and getting used to being in that enviorment again as a sleep enviorment. I've got a lot of good tips from watching Nanny 911 on this issue. So check the show out if you haven't already. Be Firm about this and Good Luck!