L.A.
My BFF had cancer and the first thing we did is promise that there would be no secrets about our feelings or our concerns. We agreed we would be totally honest with each other so that we could help each other get through the situation.
We had many long talks about what the plan would be in different situations while she was getting treatment.
She told me how she wanted me to help her.. Especially with specifics.
She purchased a recliner so that she could be in the living room and be comfortable in that room while recovering. She covered the chair with a blanket and kept a pillow and her favorite quilt there so she could be comfortable at any time.
We cleaned out her bedroom of un needed furniture etc... So that she could have some chairs in there for visitors and a table for her meds, magazines, iPod, iPad... Etc...
I purchased some nightgowns that she could wear when people visited.. She already owned a nice robe.
I set up a site through lotsahelpinghands.com so that we could post updates, request help, and people could leave her messages. I could post and everyone got info at once and she did not have to fool with it.
At one point she decided she wanted to see an acupuncturist, so we set up a transportation list.
We had people signup to drive her to her different medical treatments.
Meals delivered, groceries purchased... The site was the best thing we set up... It kept all of this organized and we did not have to worry with all of the emails and phone calls disturbing my friend.
We also were honest with the worst case scenario and promised not to be afraid to talk about if it became necessary...
I was able to help spread the word for her, because she wanted all of her own energy to be positive and focused on healing and on her family....
This is a time for all of you to come together, to stay positive to ask questions of her doctors and to request any help that is available...
The amercan cancer society is great, Livestrong was awesome, and your local BreastCancer organization should be contacted so they can also advise and answer questions...
Hang n there. Take care of yourself also..
Make sure her husband has support. He is also in shock and scared to death for her.. Many men when frightened become stressed and angry and frustrated that they cannot solve this. Have your friend give him direct instructions make sure accompanies her to all meetings with her doctor so he can take notes and have her really depend on him, he will want and need to know he is helping her every day.
While going through chemo she will get some chemo brain.. It is what happens while in treatment. She will become forgetful and sometimes just lose her train of thoughts.. So make sure at all of her appt. someone is taking notes.. And also any questions she and you all have can be read to the doctors.