My Baby Won't Latch to My Breasts

my son would latch on for 1-2 min and then I would have to feed him from the bottle and pump. I would always offer the breast and try and get him to feed for as long as he would stay on. He was about 3wks old and it was 2 or 3am and he decided that that was the day he was going to feed for his whole feeding. I cryed because I was happy and exausted. I was almost ready to quit before that and put him on formula but I'm glad I waited. Hang in there!

T.,

My children took 11 weeks and seven weeks, respectively, to learn to latch on. I had flat nipples to begin with, so I used the shield, pumped and fed through a syringe, a little cup, etc. and no luck. I had a great lactation specialist who was patient and worked with me. Everytime I took them to see her, she could get them to latch (it took all four of our hands to position their heads right, etc.). She kept telling me that as long as I pumped and kept up the milk supply, there was hope. As the first one got older, she was stronger and able to form a better seal with her mouth and the week I was ready to return to work, she figured it out.

I knew what to expect with the second one, but it still took up seven weeks of pumping and bottle feeding before we got the hang of it together.

It was really worth it, so try not to give up. However, if you have to go to pumping and bottle feeding, that's still great for her. Best of luck to you.

Lillian

T.,
I too had issues with my baby latching on. He had slight jaundice so it was super hard keeping him awake as well. I was so stressed I would just cry. It is super important not to give up, your milk is the best thing for your baby. Well I did not see anyone mention what worked for me. First be calm, what you feel the baby feels. If you are stressed or freaking out, the baby will feel your energy. Be calm. My midwife let me borrow a video on breast feeding. It was specifically talking about the baby's instincts. You need skin to skin contact. Have the baby only in a diaper and you with your shirt/bra off. After you and your baby are calm place the baby's head on the middle top part of your chest. The baby will start to bobble her head toward one of your breasts. Once she chooses a side guide her at her pace lower towards the breast. She will bobble her head until she gets to the nipple. Babies have the instinct to navigate and find the nipple through scent and feel/touch. We interfere with their instincts by putting them straight on the nipple. This in turn may cause distress, confusion, and refusal to latch. If she fusses and cries, calm her and you down then start the process over again. You may need to do this several times/days till she gets the hang of it. Keep the skin to skin unclothed contact as long as she needs it and/or she gets the hand of it. This worked for me and it was so amazing to watch the baby do what he knew instinctivly. I'm posting this publicly in case another mother is having the same issue. Please try this method and let me know how it worked out for you. If you need to know the name of the video, let me know and I will ask my midwife. I wish you and your daughter the best.

Hi T.,
Decide how long you want to keep trying, then just stick to your decision and don't feel guilty about it. She might learn how to latch and everything will work fine. If not, you can pump or use formula or both without the actual breastfeeding part.
Went through a similar situation, and was constantly breastfeeding, pumping, using some formula, etc., and beating myself up about it (and crying a lot). In hindsight, I wish I hadn't been so hard on myself. It's important to breastfeed (or try to breastfeed) but your baby will be just fine either way.
Hang in there! Congratulations on your little girl!
-R.

I saw a few that said this but the milk syringe is what finally worked with my son - slipped the little tube in his mouth while he nursed and he thought he was getting the milk from the breast and started nursing well. Also, with my younger son, I read "hold your breast like a sandwich" and it worked.

Congratulations on your little bundle of joy! I have a 5 month old who gave me a similar response to my breast as your little one is giving you. I continued to pump and give her a bottle and offered her my breast as often as I had the energy to, because I knew that if I kept at
it she would get it. So my best advice is to do your best to keep trying. My little one is now exclusively breast feeding and I'm glad I kept trying. Just remember that it's not easy for everyone and that you CAN do it. Just relax and keep trying. You'll be glad you did.

Hi T.,

I'm going to go against the trend and say that if your baby feeds better from a bottle than your breast, go with the bottle. My youngest was the laziest nurser on the planet. We tried EVERYTHING, just like you. By the time I made the switch to pumping and feeding him with bottles, we both hated nursing. Bonding didn't really occur until I decided that feeding my son in a way that worked for him, not society, was most important.

I'm happy to report that 11 years later, I have a happy, healthy, well-adjusted child.

Good luck.

Have you got any lactation advice or support? Check into La Leche which offers meetings in nearly every city as well as trained lactation educators who will answer your questions for free! Breast-feeding can be challenging, but with the proper support it can also be fixed. If you really want to breast-feed, you will find someone who can help you figure out why baby isn't latching on!

If you live close to Fullerton, Belly Sprout now offers nursing clinics at their Nursing Nook. The clinics are run by 2 qualified lactation consultants on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:30-11a.m. and the cost is $20.

You are doing great!

C. Funk
www.bellysprout.com

I was in your exact same shoes - tired, exhausted, and feeling like a failure at breastfeeding. My daughter didn't latch and begin nursing until 3.5 weeks. If you keep working at it, one day it will suddently turn around and she'll take to it! Here's what I did: once your milk supply is in, work up enough milk storage to get at least one feed ahead. Then when it is feeding time, try breastfeeding her. Don't give up too easily, but stay calm and relaxed while offering it to her. You don't want her overly frustrated but you don't want to give in to the bottle too easily either as she'll learn that if she rejects you you'll give it to her. Then give her the bottle of pumped milk you have already pumped at a prior feeding. After giving the bottle, then pump for the next feeding. This way you don't have a screaming baby while she waits for you to pump her meal. I was close to giving up at times, but if you stick with it she should get it! Have patience and determination! Also, don't forget to pump during the night. Until your baby is nursing directly on you, you should wake and pump during the middle of the night. You'll likely do so anyway to feed your baby, but some mom's skip this and it can really damage your milk supply. I used a hospital grade pump until my baby was latching directly on me, and I highly recommend you do the same to keep a strong supply.

Best of luck to you! Hang in there! You aren't alone in the battle to breastfeed! :-)

hi
this time is hard. the only thing you can do is not give her the bottle and she will eat by the 2nd or 3rd feeding. i know it will be tough but the baby will latch on if she is hungry. she will continue to unlach and wait for the bottle if she knows its comming.
the biggest problem is that she was given a bottle too early. babies are not suppose to have a bottle till they have properly latched on to the boob.
try calling BABYLINE ###-###-#### at Hoag, they are great with advice and they also teach a breast feeding class. its the best $30 bucks i ever spent. you get to take your baby with you and they spend as long as it take with you and your baby
good luck, dont give up.

Trisha,
Be strong and patient! Your baby will latch on you just need to teach her. My son had a hard time too in the beginning but I found a new lactation consultant who made all the difference. Overnight my son latched on properly and nursed for 18 months! I just weaned him to both of our dismay. But he's doing wonderfully and I wouldn't change a thing. Stay committed and know that it will get better.

I applaud your efforts, I truly do!!! I nursed for 21 months and it was a struggle at first, I'm not going to sugarcoat it :) You need more support from a lactation consultant; maybe a couple of times a week for a few more weeks. Hang in there, T. -- it DOES get easier! Best of luck!

I mean this in an encouraging way... but it can be a tough road! It took my daughter and I 8 weeks before she nursed well and without a shield. Those first 4 weeks were especially tough (trying to nurse, pumping, bottle-feeding, washing pump stuff, and then starting all over again) but I am so THANKFUL that I stuck with it. Once your child gets it, it is wonderful bonding and so much less work!!

Hang in there - we went to BF Clinic 2/week for at least 6 weeks. It was helpful and nice to be around other moms with similiar challenges. Email if you need encouragement!

What Sherry mentioned below is an "SNS" (Supplemental Nursing System).

sometimes they prefer that bottle. Mine did but I also had production problems. I know plenty of moms who resort to pumping and feeding breast milk in bottles, but it virtually doubles your work and will make it more likely for you to switch to formula. All I can say is keep at it. Maybe get in touch with the le leche league in your area for support. At 6 weeks I switched to formula, I had simply exhausted myself and knew I had done all I could. You're not going to want to question whither you did all you could, so even though you are exhausted, give it that one month and if you can't make it work you'll know you tried.

It took my first born 2 1/2 weeks to finally figure out how to latch on. It was exhausting and frustrating getting through each feeding (she had jaundice and so it would take 15 min. to wake her up, 10-15 min trying to get her to latch on, give her a bottle and then pump and clean all of the bottles etc!) I never used a breast shield, but did use the shells in between feedings. Add to all of this the horomones postpartum and there were many times that I wanted to quit. All I can say is that if you keep at it, your baby will get it eventually. It was literally from one day to the next that mine figured it out. Once she did, it was an easy and enjoyable experience for both of us. (I would also try getting her to latch on after she had been sucking on the bottle for a couple of minutes so that she wasn't starving and she was already in the sucking mode, she would sometimes latch on for a couple of minutes using that strategy).

Good luck!

-M.

I would go to another lacation specialist. They should be able to give you some strong tips, and figure out what problems baby is having with latching, the first trip. It's important to establish good breastfeeding in the beginning. Don't worry, it can be very hard to get down but once you do it's the most wonderful thing in the world.

Try nursing in the bathtub..make it nice and cozy..turn the lights low and relax..that worked for my friend who was having trouble..i had trouble for a couple of days b/c the nurse suggested i give my son formula one night..mistake! once he had the bottle and it was so easy to get the formula he rejected me..so i got a super slow flow nipple and then he rejected the bottle and came back to me. I also wore him in the Bjorn a lot and just would plop my boob in his mouth...i made it available all the time. Don't give up just get the slow flow nipple maybe even put something in it so it makes it super hard for her to get the milk ..she'll get frustrated then have some milk on your nipple and then try...but try the bathtub method also.

the best advice i got from a nurse at the hospital after having my last child, who i sucessfully nursed for about 10 months, was that you cant sufficate them and she hadnt lost who yet. ha

i hadnt been very successful nursing my other two and didnt really have anyone that helped me. my advice push your lil babies face into you and she will latch on. just keep trying. also try different ways of holding her. holding her like a football worked well for me. instead of having her across the front of my body.

good luck, T., this is something worth working for.

:) S.

Don't give up. I know how exhausting it is to pump and then feed. I had preemie twins in Feb. and they were too small to even try to latch on. I thought that if we hadn't figured it out early on, they'd never breast feed. I was too tired to try at every feeding, especially in the beginning when they screamed every time they were hungry. At 8 weeks it just all came together and it's been going smoothly ever since. See about using the lactation consultant again for additional help. Good luck!

I had the same issue! My son was a 10lb'er with a big appetite and would not latch. Plus I had a c-section so it was painful to have him on me. I finally gave up after a couple weeks (saw a lactation consultant, pumped, etc). He latched maybe twice. My thought was that he was just so hungry and had taken a bottle in the hospital before my milk came in, that it just wasn't coming fast enough. So I pumped for 5 months and put it in bottles. I was really disappointed that I was not able to have the experience that I wanted. But it is what it is! As long as they get the milk its all that counts. My son will be 2 next month, had breast milk for 5 months, formula after that. And now regular organic milk and he has rarely been sick, smart as can be and so happy and loving! I wish you all the best. Your in the thick of it right now, but relax, it will get better!!!

Dear T.,

You must be exhausted and discouraged. But I applaud you for your perseverance. Breastfeeding was tough for me, too, for other reasons, and I was crying nearly every day those first weeks.

I'm sorry I can't help with the latch, but check out Dr. Jack Newman's website: http://www.drjacknewman.com/

He has a lot of videos and will actually email you back personally. Also, try more and different lactation consultants- I visited several to get help.

Finally, keep at it. My friend's baby latched on after SIX months!!!

In any case, even if your baby doesn't latch, the breastmilk is so valuable.

Hang in there.

Hi T.,
There is absolutly nothing wrong with bottle feeding. I think that pumping breast milk is wonderful. Just because she is not latching on is not important. The breast milk is. I'm sure you are just frustrated, rightfully so. But, it's ok if she is bottle feed. Maybe you should stop trying, and save yourself(and your baby) the agravation. Just think of it this way, other people can feed the baby!
I breastfeed, but had a terrible time in the beginning. My daughter was finally able to latch on to my left boob(I had inverted nipple issues)Somehow, my nipple was "trained" or she was trained to get it just the right way to latch on. I also pummped like a mad woman, and was able to feed her my breast milk for a whole month after I dried out......don't ask why this happened. It's not like I stopped feeding or pumping. Anyway, like I said, as long as she is getting breastmilk, then you are all good! Congrats on your new baby! Enjoy it, they grow up so fast. My baby is now 28 months old...where did the time go?????? Take care.

Wow T., I commend your efforts! I went thru something similar with my youngest. It does take a while to build that relationship. Please keep trying, it took mine about a month and then it was smooth sailing after that. I was worried she would get lazy and only want the bottle cause it is easier but always offered breast first. Finally I tried this.. taking some of the expressed milk, take a bottle with a few larger manmade holes in it and drip it onto my nipples while she was trying and that seams to help her get the picture that..that is there the milk was coming from so she would try harder. After successfully latching on she was exclusively breast fed for 12 months and continued to breast feed till she was 2 1/2.
I hope this helps, don't give up you'll get there!!
K.

The main pt is the baby is getting your breastmilk. So, don't stress yourself out. Just keep trying. It will happen.

Breastfeeding can be tough in the beginning. I can't tell you how many tears I shed trying to get my firstborn to latch those first couple of weeks.

I will echo the others' advice. If you really want this to work, get to a supportive lactation consultant. If $ is an issue, call your local LLL leader. They're trained and help for free. You'll also find lots of support at the meetings where you share something with other mothers and feel heard and understood.

Good luck. It's not easy, but once the baby gets it, it's smooth sailing and so nice.

with my first son i had to pump for 2 min before feeding because i had too much milk and he was much happier after i drained a little out first

Don't give up. i didn't have trouble with my son latching but i remember stressing out over breastfeeding early on and not having the support of my husband or anyone else really to continue trying. i was totally committed to nursing my son for a full year(& successfully did) even when the doctors were questioning my son's lack of weight gain & whether or not i was producing enough milk. So i'm emailing this to let you know that 10 days is way too early to give up. I even had a girlfriend who went to a nursing group when her baby was 3 months old to help her get the baby to latch on after having bottle fed off & on. so as long as you keep producing milk it's never too late. if you really want to nurse (& that's a totally individual choice)you have to be patient. babies have to LEARN everything...stuff we take for granted like swallowing & eventually chewing etc. so they really need to learn to latch on too...i know it's frustrating & if the baby cries for milk while you're trying to get her to latch on i can imagine it's frustrating for both of you. the key is to try and stay relaxed & "teach" her to latch on. i'd be interested in what the lactation specialist suggested? maybe squeezing your breast to reshape/control the nipple & how much or how little of it goes in the baby's mouth? definitely trying to make sure she opens wide enough & makes the fish face. I've seen the shields w/ the tubing & not sure exactly how they work. like i said i didn't have the latching problem but experienced frustration w/ breastfeeding & was eventually able to push through and did it successfully for the full year. If it's important to you, you'll find the strength to continue & the knowledge to help "teach" your baby to latch on. trust me, it's amazing how much they learn in just one day....but practice makes perfect. just wanted to let you know, it WILL get better & we're all here to support you.

For what I have heard, it is not unusual for babies this young to have trouble latching on for the first couple of weeks. Don't give up, things do often turn around. I took bad advice from a nurse that told me to feed my newborn formula because he wasn't latching on in the first 24 hours. That might have been where we went wrong. To show that there is alikelihood things will work out with time, let me tell you my son finally started latching on around 4 or 5 weeks. Before that he would just push me away, twist and turn his head and cry so hard you would think he was scared of the boob.
You mention that you saw a lactation consultant. Not all consultants are "created equal" I saw FOUR that didn't really help but recently I found a wonderful one that is helping me fine tune some minor issues and she is wonderful. Perhaps you could try a different consultant and see if that will work out better?
For now, take comfort in knowing your baby is still getting all the benefits of your breastmilk, just via a different route for the moment.
By the way, I had given up on nursing and thought I'd always have to pump. Didn't bother me all that much. Now that I'm actually breastfeeding I realize how much easier it is than to keep pumping every so often, wash bottles, etc. plus there is a wonderful connection with the baby. I can tell you it is worth working for it. oh, and believe me, if I can do it, anyone can.

Don't give up! It took me three weeks for my baby to get the hang of it. You are lucky supply is not an issue. You have the option of just pumping and giving her your milk in the bottle. As long as she gets your milk. Good luck!

T., I feel for you I had the same problem with my girl. It took a couple of weeks, but once she and I figured it out their was no stopping her. Just be patient (I know its hard and it may bring you to tears). It is the greatest bond you can have. And yes I tried every hold you can imagine, just wanted to wish you good luck and don't give up I wanted to and am glad I never did.

T.,

I had a terrible time in the beginning, it will get better. Be presistent if you want to nurse, perhaps try different holds. Have you tried the football hold? Also find a local La Leche League, surround yourself with moms who can and will help you. Stay strong and hang in there. Best of luck.

When I was having those issues, the lactation specialist had me pump my milk and then she gave me a special bottle with a tube coming out of the top to put it into. The bottle stayed by my shoulder, and the tube came down and was taped by the nipple. Because of gravity, the milk actually flowed quite freely, encouraging my son to latch on. Once he got used to latching on with the easy flow, we slowly weaned him off of that, and he latched on successfully after that. Apparently, he didn't want to do the work, so we tricked him into thinking he wasn't working. I don't know if that's something you've already tried, but it worked out really well for me.

Hi T.,

Have you heard about how easy (and painless!) nursing is "if you're doing it right"? UGH!

It was a struggle to establish nursing with my daughter. It was hard. I was so determined to nurse exclusively, but we had many obstacles (starting with we weren't able to nurse until she was three days old).

Here are some of the things we did that ultimately made us successful:
**Having four or more hands to help get her on the breast (off and on for the first few weeks);
**Using a nipple shield (did you know if you turn those things inside out and try to use them, they fly about 10 feet from your breast? note to self...);
**Using a syringe (WITHOUT the needle) filled with a small amount of breastmilk to drip it into her mouth while trying to get her to latch on so she'd get the picture;
**Pumping like crazy (in my opinion, the Medela Advanced is actually more effective than the massive thing we rented from the hospital);
**Going to the lactation support group available through my hospital sometimes three times a week until we got the hang of it.

And can I just say that if I had to do it all over again, I would stress out a LOT less about whether she got my milk from a bottle or directly from me. Not that I didn't love nursing (she's almost 17 months now and we've been done for about two months). It's just that I have a friend whose baby is almost one... *she* took a much more relaxed approach to her nursing problems and we ended up equally successful.

First, keep in touch with the lactation specialist and/or a la leche league leader - you need the support! Second, be persistent and do not give up! I had the same issue and it took several weeks to get her to start latching and then a few more before it became consistent. It was around 8 weeks that we could nurse the majority of feedings. In the meantime we were using a very labor-inetensive method for most feedings. I pumped and then we used a syringe with a feeding tube on the end to feed her, either with the tube on our finger (so she learned the proper sucking technique) or would try that on my nipple, so she was getting immediate gratification. We occassionally used bottles, but I was very hesistant to use them too much since she didn't have to suck properly to get fed and may get too used to that. It was the most agonizing time...but we got through it and have had a happy nursing relationship ever since. I really encourage you to persevere, for the sake of your babe, your bonding experience and the ease of feeding it will eventually provide!
If you want to message me directly for support or more info, please feel free!

Hi T.,

I'm going to add my 2 cents, even though it may go against what many of the other moms are saying. My son would not latch, or if he did, wouldn't stay latched for long. I tried the hospital lactation consultant, the LLL (the area guru was mystified as to why he wouldn't stay latched--looked good to her), My Brest Friend, you name it, we tried it...As it turned out, he (and my daughter 3 years later) was a severe refluxer from the very beginning. Neither of them were preemies (9lb 9oz, and 8 lb 11oz) or had any other issues as newborns. I have a dear friend who is a pediatrician who walked me through it and sent me to my own ped to get the issue under control. Luckily, my ped is a very reasonable woman and worked with us closely to adjust medication doses as baby's weight increased. It was tough--both had to sleep in their car seats for a while to keep their heads elevated at night, and the medications had to be increased frequently as they grew.

I guess my point is, don't give up, but don't let it eat you alive. I ended up pumping, then bottle feeding for 6 months and 5 months respectively. It wasn't easy, but my kiddos got breast milk for as long as the supply lasted. Pumping in the middle of the night is a pain, and more than once I fell asleep with that pump going, but the most important thing is that your baby gets the nutrition she needs. Sure, bonding is a big part of BF, but there is plenty of opportunity for bonding otherwise as well. The current climate and research suupports BF'ing, and rightfully so, but sometimes those around us are blinded by the "facts". Do your best to continue the BF'ing, but if it doesn't work out, pump and release yourself from the guilt, no matter what anyone else tells you. Happy mommy = happy baby.

Kiddo #1 is now 7 1/2 and the tallest in his class, and Kiddo #2 is 60% for weight and 80% for height...so it was all worth it.

Hang in there,

K.

I had the same problem and baby and I CRIED AND CRIED for months. Turns out; my daughter could NOT latch on properly. We found out when she was 1 and had surgery that she had a bifid uvula and consequently a malformation in her soft palate. She doesn't have a cleft lip; but a birth defect in the roof of her mouth that you can't see on examination. I cannot tell you what a relief (even a year later) to have found out that it wasn't us; it was her body and just the way she was created. I echo the other moms that say the breastmilk is what's important; so keep up the great mommy-ing! :)
Sincerely,
K.

it took two months of pumping and feeding with a bottle before my daughter would properly latch and i did not need the shield. it was tiring but worth it for we then breasted until 14 months. good luck!

Hi T.,
I had the same issue with my daughter. I used the "sombrero" (shield) and tried everything. She wouldn't push me away but would just sit there and nuzzle w/o latching well. I remember getting so tired from trying to nurse constantly. Same thing- she drank ok from the bottle. I feel like as long as you can get her your milk, it is not the end of the world if she can't go direct. That way daddy can help! (o: Good luck to you!