My Baby Wakes up Frantic Every Night 1/2 Hour After Going to Sleep...

Does the baby act like he is in pain? Draw his legs up? Could be colic. I had a colicky baby and it isn't fun. She'd cry her heart out, always around the same time each day/evening. Other than that, sorry hon, I have no clue!

My son did this from 2 weeks old out till 9 months, it turned out to be allergies to milk & penuts in my milk. He had a runny nose and the other "colic" or "reflux" symptoms that also happen to be allergy symptoms.
We did everything for colic, for sleep disorders (mine only slept for 45 mintues at a time before the outburts would stop, once I weaned him off me & onto a soy formula he was fine....it wasn't lactose though, i think they said casin intolerent and nut allergies....)
LAter we also realized there was probably night terrors also worked in, he couldn't wake up. He had them after surguries & whenever they perscribed a narcotic for him.
So the woman we were working with suggested fully waking him up, lights on the whole bit, to "bring him back" and then redo the bedroom routine, they would happen in clumps & I agree it was also near transistins or milestones.
We also found a wonderful cranial sacral provider who helped as tehre had been birth issues, and found the week after she saw him he slept deeper, never had terrors and seemed happier...we started to call Cranial Sacral out "pressure relief valvue" it seemed like he was on overdrive, she would work on him, and everything would settle down.....like a whistle on a tea kettle or something....(I know it sounds wierd, but it worked & after 9 months, I was desperate. He still sees her about quarterly & he LOVES going, he always askes when he is going back to Nans (he is almost 7), its like he knows it helps him. & a 6 year old willingly lays down on the table & lets her work for over an hour, falling into a deep sleep 15 minutes in, no fidgiting...nothing....he always sleeps s much deeper that night,
Also for sleep weaning, we are all wierd, he slept upright in a swing (supposedly due to the reflux, dr suggestion) in our room for the first 6 months, then he couldn't stand daddies snoring so he went to his room no rpoblem (still woke every 45-60 minutes), stayed there without issue or willingness to come back to us, even when sick till he was 5. On the day dad moved out, he took up residence in my room, goes to sleep without me, sleeps without issue without me evenin the room, but at least 3 times a night, while fully asleep turns over & runs his hand over my face "identifying me" then goes back to sleep on his side......he says he will move when hes 8, sleeps without issue in his own bed when at dads, and will sleep in his own room when we have friends spend the night. I think they just do what they need. & he needs to make sure I won't leave him too.
I have friends, I thought her kids would never go to there rooms, dad travelled sun-fri (they were 5 & 8) but when the 5year old went to his room on his 6th bday the older one left too....)
Sorry this was so long....

In addition to the other advice you have received you might want to make sure that he doesn't have an ear infection. My first son had alot of problems with them at that age. In fact most of the time he didn't have any other symptoms other than being fussy when he was sleeping. If he has or has had a recent cold I would have him checked by your pediatrician.

I just took my son to the doc because he was doing something similar. waking up screaming every 30-45 mins for four hours where he normally sleeps seven. Doc prescribed prevacid (which is pretty expensive) and said to keep putting my boy to sleep on an incline. He asked if my son arched his back a lot. Does yours do this? He is also 4 months old. Doc said the normal reflux in a baby hits its peak at four months and then should go down in the next months. He has always slept in his own bed so that wasn't an issue. He just acts like he is in pain. I am hoping the prevacid works. He said it may be reflux or since my first was lactose intolerant maybe a milder case of that. Does your son have a little random cough or runny nose or congestion? The doc said that may be due to the stomach acid agitating him. Good luck to you

It sounds like colic. Although unusual for babies after 4 months of age, it is not impossible. The behavior you are describing sounds just like when my daughter had it. Inconsolable crying and screaming. If that is the case, there is not much you can do, except swaddle him and comfort him as much as possible. He will grow out of it. I don't think you've done anything to cause this at all. Ask your pediatrician if he/she thinks this is a possibility.

Hi M.,

I am not a baby sleep expert by any means but I am a mother of 3 and ahead of you by 10 years. I nursed our babies thru fits of screaming, reactions to shoots, "colic" and well into their toddler years. I hope you continue your nursing bonding and trust yourself that you know your baby more than any doctor or expert. This to will pass. My 3 sleep more than wanted now....I wake them to go to school in the morning. Not looking forward to the teen sleeping years.

Sending great encouragement!
L. B.

I hope it's colic or teething or some sort of phase (you know the ones that last +/- 6 weeks or so). I say that b/c my 6 year old has been having night terrors for at least 3 years (we were told she'd grow out of them by 5).
My husband used to sleep-walk, talk, eat, etc. My father-in-law doesn't sleep through the night. Apparently it is an inherited condition where one doesn't get past stage IV sleep and it affects everyone differently.
From the website nightterrors.org: "Night terrors, on the other hand [as opposed to nightmares], occur during a phase of deep non-REM sleep usually within an hour after the subject goes to bed. This is also known as stage 4. During a night terror, which may last anywhere from five to twenty minutes, the person is still asleep, although the sleepers eyes may be open. When the subject does wake up, they usually have no recollection of the episode..."
I still have a gate on the top of the stairs b/c she sometimes wanders around. Yelling, screaming, crying, reaching for things that aren't there (all w/her eyes open) are the norm. I find if I hold her and lightly scratch her back, it rouses her enough for me to ask if she wants to go back to sleep and she usually says yes.
Good luck. I know it sucks but you will be amazed at how quickly you and your baby change every week.

I know exactly what you are going through because my last baby did the same thing. I thought something had ruptured in her the first time it happened! I consulted with the doctor and found that what was happenening was that she was having "Night Terrors" and it was brought on by exhaustion. It would happen on the days that she wouldn't take a nap. And you are absolutely right - there is nothing you can do to console, because during a night terror, everything around them is non-existent. I would just love her and walk her around, sometimes I would go outside. They are so scary! If your little guy doesn't take naps in the day, see if he will just take a little power nap. My sister-in-law's son did the same thing only it was brought on by the medication he was on after getting tonsils out. Find the source and you'll be able to help it stop. :) So sorry you are going through that - and good luck!

Hello M., Like all else this will pass. Your son may simply need your comforting presence while he works something through his system. You might be comforted by reading "Crying Baby, Sleepless Nights: Why Your Baby is Crying and What You Can Do About It," by Sandy Jones or "Sleeping Like a Baby," by Pinky McKay. Trust yourself and feel the love... ~T.

Hi M.,

Is it possible that you have added something new to your diet. Something you might be eating earlier in the day or evening before. You might want to try gas relief drops, simethicone. The generic are just as good as the name brands and half the price. Give it to him before he nurses and make sure you burp him well. Have you tried holding him across your arm or your lap on his stomach? This pressure often helped my daughter.Also, if he is spitting up a lot, you might want to talk to dr. about GERDS. I think he is too young for night terrors. I first daughter started having night terrors around 16 months. I was told that night terrors are usually something that can start closer to 9-12 months, but I could be wrong.
I totally agree with Jennifer N. about sleeping through the night. I think there is a significant differenc between breastfeed and formula feed babies. Eat more oftern and sleep less. Good luck!

I'm having the same problem with my 22 month old. For the past couple of nights he's been waking up screaming, like he had a nightmare or something. There isn't much we can do to calm him down except to let him out of his bed for a little while and holding him. That seems to be the only thing that has worked for him so far.

What I do with my 3 month old is I take a warm washcloth and put it on his tummy with a hand towel over it (to keep the heat in and to keep his clothes from getting wet) for a little while. I just put that on him and hold him close. He usually cries for about 5 more mins and then he's fine. This last time I did it, he slept for about 6 hours! (He normally wakes up every 2-3 hours to eat)

Another thing, you say you put him to bed awake and stay next to his crib until he falls asleep? That might be a problem. I'm not 100% sure, but I think that if you stay in the room while he is falling asleep, he will wake up in a panic if you are not there. Try waiting until he's sleepy and put him to bed and leave the room. If he cries, wait a like half a min to a min before you go in there, then go in and comfort him by talking to him and rubbing his belly or something like that. If he doesn't stop after a little while, pick him up and comfort him that way. This worked for my first son and he started sleeping through the night at 3 months old. But then again, he was a very laid back baby. I'm having trouble with my 3 month old, but it's getting better and this seems to be working.

Hope my advice was of some help. :)

I'm a new mom of a four month old too! I love the idea of crib sleeping for the first half of the night. We are going to try that. I wonder if it's just air bubbles in his tummy after that last nursing before you put him down? Try mylicon drops (dye free) before or after feeding him. It seems to help my baby at times. Also, try laying him in his side to sleep. It helps the belly digest. The nurses at the ICU told us that the right side helps with digestion and the left side with reflux. Good luck to you.

My son also has night terrors just as you described and seems to have them when he is getting ready to pass a major milestone. I have read that it is the brain going into overdrive trying to make all of the neural connections and the chemical reactions that go along with it. The good news is that they don't typically last long and the baby won't remember a thing about it. Just trying to keep him from hurting himself and he'll eventually grow out it. It'll be much harder for you than it is for him.

I think he is teething. Our son did this for months. He would wake up in the middle of the night and his dad would rock him for hours! At nine months he popped 6 teeth in one week and turned into the most wonderful baby. He had trouble even getting his wisdom teeth at 18. You will learn to read the signs of when he is teething. He will grow out of it. It is just one on his road to adulthood. Be glad he is your first so you can deal with the lack of sleep better. Every baby is different and develope in a different way. Hang in there! I know it is hard.
C. B

Night terrors are caused by unresolved stress. I have two children who have had them. Every time I was on bed rest with pregnancies they would have them regurlarly. Now they only have them on REALLY, REALLY rough days. Especially when they are young they have a hard time understanding and dealing with stressful things. If you are traveling a lot for a family members illness now may not be the best time to change the place he sleeps. If he has them when he's older be sure to make extra efforts to communicate what is going on and giving comfort according to whatever you believe in and your love and wanting to do what's best for him. One clue that it is a night terror is you can't wake them up. He's pretty young though to be having night terrors. Try leaving the room before he falls asleep. It's a learned thing to get to sleep on your own. good luck I know it's heartbreaking to have them so sad.

I doubt it's night terrors at 4 months old. Night terrors hit around age 2 years.

Ideally you want him to put himself to sleep when he wakes up during the night. He has to do that without you there so I would say try teaching him to fall asleep without you there. Don't sit by him when he's falling asleep. Then when he wakes up and you aren't there it won't upset him. That's what I'd try. But I wouldn't put him in bed with you. That just exacerbates the problem in the long run.

The book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" has been extremely helpful for me and I highly recommend it. It could be that he is getting overtired, or he might be hungry but just too upset to nurse by the time you try to nurse him. Also, at this age it is alright to nurse them and put them down directly after (so when they are drowsy or actually asleep). It has not been shown to cause any sort of sleep problems later. It is common for nursing babies to not sleep through the night until 9 months or later. Sleeping through the night is also defined as sleeping straight from 12 midnight to 5 am, so keep that in mind. If he is nursing at 7 pm, 11 pm, and then not until 5 or 6 am, for example, he is technically sleeping through the night. Teething is also a possibility- my son started around 4 months. Good luck!

J. (mom to Zach, 2 years old, and Talia, 3 and 1/2 months old)

Hi M., I just wanted to let you know that your not alone. I am the mother of three kids (2,6 & 8). They are all different in their sleeping & bedtime issues.

Your son at 4 months old may be starting to cut some teeth and that would make him really cranky. Have you noticed any of that going on? It seems that no matter what happens with a child during the day they always seem to feel bad at night when you want to sleep.

Our oldest seemed to sleep better in our bed as a baby. I did the same thing to take in with me when he got up to feed during the night. After talking to my mom about it we decided that maybe my bed was more comfortable and warm for him. Crib mattresses are designed to keep the wet out and that makes them cold. We made a mattress pad for the crib that was simiar to our pillow top mattress and that seemed to help. Just be sure that it fits under the sheet on his bed.

Keep your chin up and remember that they won't always want to sleep with you. And don't be afraid to call your doctor and ask questions. Most of the time the nurse can answer questions and it doesn't cost a thing to ask.

It could be something called Night Terrors. They're like nightmares, but they don't wake up. They just flail around, scream their poor little hearts out, their body gets rigid to the point where you think they're hurting, but eventually go back to sleep.

Does he respond to you at all when you talk to him? Does he fight you when you pick him up or hold him? If so, my guess would be night terrors.

They're scary for the parent, but if you try and wake him up, it actually makes it worse. Don't try and wake him up!! Just go in and sit by him and make sure he's not going to hurt himself, and let him calm down by himself.

If he continues to scream for more than about five minutes, then you can try to sit him up on your lap and burp him. Sometimes my sons would scream so hard and long that they'd get a lot of air in their tummies, so that gas would add to whatever they're experiencing. A lot of times, we'd get a pretty good burp out of them, and within a minute or two, they'd calm down.

Also, I think I noticed a pattern with my moods. If I was really upset, or ever lost my temper, that's when it seemed to set off the terror. That wasn't always true - sometimes it'd happen after a really good day - but it seems that most of the time it was in response to my moods.

Good luck. I know how frightening this can be - I've had to deal with it with all three of my sons; each of them went through it for at least two years, and one of them was even longer than that(disheartening to hear, I know, but every baby is different - yours could be a lot shorter). Also, as a previous poster said, doctor's say it's uncommon for it to start so young, but my kids started with their night terrors when they were just a few months old. Good luck!

R.

It could be stomach cramps. Have you tried giving him Mylicon? It also can be teething. My daughter got both her bottom teeth at 5 mos. That can be painful and it is more painful at night. Try finding teething tablets as they are natural and life savers during teething, they dissolve in their mouths and get them to calm down quickly.
Even ask your Dr about Tylenol.
Mylicon helped my daughter a ton!
I would say bringing him into your bed too isn't allowing him to get the true sleep he needs. You aren't sleeping as deeply either even if you think you are. If he falls asleep great by himself let him be as that is wonderful.
Do not nurse him to calm him down either, that sends him mixed signals as if he isn't hungry he will just start using you as a human pacifier. When babies nurse for comfort it is teaching him to eat to calm himself down even if he isn't hungry. Not a good habit to start.
I know it is a pain to get up and nurse but if he is sleeping well alone at first, it is best you teach him to continue to do that so he isn't dependent on you after you stop breast feeding.
I would say it sounds like he is teething or has stomach cramps, try mylicon drops or teething tablets and see if that helps.
Good luck.

I am with some of the other ladies. It sounds like tummy troubles or teething. My daughter received her first teeth at 3 months so it is not unusual. She also was a gasy baby and some tummy issues. I can tell you we used Humphreys teething tablets (Walgreens $5.00) they worked the best. Also for her fussyness we used Gripe water (Whole Foods or Wild Oats). It seemed to help her with any gas she had. I know the Mylicon can be pricy. Another gas drop is Little tummies gas relief drops (Target $4.00) Hope this helped you a little. After you feed in the middle of the night I would really try and put him in his own bed. I know that it is hard to break them of a co-sleeping habit. For sure by 6 months. Hope that helps! :)

J. S

It sounds like he might be experiencing "night terrors". It's when the baby seems to wake up, but is really still asleep. Our first son went through them, and if I remember correctly, they don't last very long, and the only thing you can do is make sure the baby doesn't get injured during the episode. Good luck with this - it can seem scary and distressful, but at least the baby doesn't remember the episodes!

Hi M.,
My son was about 4 months old when he started having similar behavior. In his case it was night terrors (which my doctor claimed he "couldn't" be having because he was so young). After a few weeks of charting his behavior and showing the doctor the chart he said it was the youngest case of night terrors he had ever seen. Our son would wake up at exactly the same time after going to sleep and scream for about 10-15 minutes then fall right back into a deep sleep.
What we used to do with him was turn on the light and not touch him or even talk to him, he would scream for a few minutes and then be out like a light. We would stand with him and if it looked like he was going to bump himself by rolling we would make sure he didn't but beyond that it would just have to play itself out. With night terrors the body sort of shorts out as it moves into REM sleep....and it goes into REM without the typical relaxation that occurs. So the body starts to jolt, the eyes open, they cry (and scream), and the more you stimulate them by touch the worse it gets. Once the body moves out of REM sleep the episode stops. The good news is they do grow out of it.

Now I'm not a doctor nor do I play one on tv...just letting you know that this sort of thing can be normal. It's also uncommon to see night terrors so young...but as my son proved not impossible. What could be happening in your son's case is that as he is falling into a deep sleep he jolts and wakes himself partly up. Not awake enough to nurse or be "awake" but he may be getting that falling feeling and jolting enough to scare himself partway awake. Try just rubbing his back or tummy a bit to see if that will calm him enough to relax back to sleep without picking him up. I would also keep a nightly diary to see if it is happening at nearly the exact time every night, and if touching seems to make it worse. With night terrors having the light on seems to shorten the episode and allow them calm down faster....if its just jolting awake then the light might make it worse.

Also trust your gut....you know your child and your family better than anyone. Trust in yourself you have more power than you know.

This is normal. Keep the routine. Don't assume that if the baby cries he is hungry. Check for wet diapers. What about room temperature? Is he cold? Is he too warm? You need to teach him to calm himself. Does he have a lovey? A blanket or stuffed animal? Put one of your dirty shirts in his crib. Your smell will calm him. Put a photo of you near the crib where he can see it. That could calm him. Is there a night light in the room? If you think he's having a growth spurt, give him ibuprofin or tylenol. Maybe he has gas. Give him gas medicine. I think you're making a mistake bringing him to bed with you. That will be a hard habit to break. One thing you could try is putting him to bed later. And it's ok to let him cry. Let him cry for 5 minutes and return to his room. Don't pick him up or talk to him. Your presence should be reassuring. Then leave. Let him cry for 10 minutes. Then return. Repeat at 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 25 minutes, and 30 minutes if necessary. If he's still crying at 30 minutes, pick him up because he will be too upset at this point to comfort himself. Good luck.

Hi M.,
My son was about the same age as yours when he started having 'night terrors', it freaked me out because he actually went into convulsions the first time and I called the pediatrician. They checked him out and said night terrors, I had never heard of this and apparantly there is not a lot known about them other than they are related to sleep walking, which my son eventually started doing also. Again they don't know alot medically about this other than they think it is part of the neurological system still developing. I was told it can actually continue until they are 15 although that is unusual. It also does not affect any other area of their life and does not have any long term bad affects, thank goodness.

My son is 9 now and I have been able to figure out generally what triggers his sleep walking and night terrors now. If he goes to bed too late or too tired from a particularly exhausting day and stays up until regular bedtime instead of going to bed early. He seems to go through all of his fears, doesn't acknowledge that I am there, will yell he wants his mommy and push me away and cry and cry yelling no, no, no. Sometimes he gives short answers to questions and basically he is worried something is going to happen to mom or dad and it is coming out during this time. The doctor said if I can wake him up during this that is fine, we actually had to use cold rags eventually and that doesn't even work now. I read one of the other responses where they said not to wake him up during the episode, for us it was the opposite, if he woke up he immediately quit crying would climb right into my arms and go back to sleep. Check with your Dr. on that one, ours said it was fine to wake them up, probably different for each child.

This all generally happens within an hour of going to sleep. I have found if you get to him immediately and start singing his favorite song and talking to him it does not last as long nor get as bad as if I wait to see if it continues. I would ask your pediatrician about all this. I have a friend whose daughter had night terrors but completely different from my sons. Her body would go completely rigid while screaming hysterically and would last much longer than my sons. We were told also by the Dr. that we needed to lock the doors to the outside so he couldn't get out of the house, we have chains that are higher than the bolt lock that he can reach. He said sleep walkers will actually be found walking in the street and have no clue how they got there.

It all sound more terrifying than it really is. I know how difficult it is to hear your child crying and not know what to do but for my son it has happens much more infrequent and lasts much less time if I get to him quickly. Also, he never remembers any of this in the morning, even now that he is 9 he is completely unaware of the night terror or sleep walking.
This may not be at all what your son has but I would still talk to your pediatrician.
S. M

Babies are not biologically designed to sleep through the night. (read James McKenna's research, U of Notre Dame)
Your baby may not want to fall into a deep sleep as a protective factor. You may consider bringing him into bed with you so that you can get more rest. You may want to look into some nighttime parenting books by Dr. William Sears.
Also, I have heard that the baby may have pinworms, rare it's possible.

There is a book that has helped me with children's sleep problems and also addresses some things to watch for with medical concerns. It is called Solve your child's sleep problems and it is by Richard Ferber, M.D. It has been a fantastic resource for us. I got it on Amazon for less than $10. Good luck. I hope things improve rapidly!

hi M.,
boy do i understand! my youngest is just five months old on tuesday. what has worked with all three of my children is keeping them up longer as they got older. a newborn sleeps a ridiculous amount, but as each of my kids got to be older, they slept less. on a daily basis, my three year old wakes at 7ish, naps around 1 for an hour or so, and is in bed at nine. my one year old is up between 7 and 8 naps around one for an hour or two, and is in bed by eight. my five month old, wakes up about 645, has several small naps thoughout the day, no longer then 45 minutes or so, and generally falls asleep by 930 at night. she's up about three times, on average, during the night for a quick change a bottle, and back to sleep.
travelling is an issue because the child is lulled to sleep by the moving car(?). watch to see if your son is grabbing at his ears, that may explain the screaming, ear infection, as we recently experienced with our youngest.
i'm in the gunni area as well if you and your hubby need time together, i'd be happy to watch your little one. after we got to know eachother of course. good luck, and let me know how things work out.
A.
____@____.com

It sounds like night terrors. http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/sleep/a/night_terrors.htm
http://www.babycenter.com/0_night-terrors_142.bc
My friend has night terrors as a side effect of some medication she takes. She described them as extremely vivid, scary, nightmares. She always thinks they're real. They evoke potent, raw fear. She only remembers exactly what happened in the night terror if someone tries to wake her up while she's having one. She looks like she's awake during it, but she's not. Hers only last 10-15 minutes.

Your baby is more likely to get them if he's overtired when he goes to bed. Consider adding a nap to his schedule and putting him to bed a little later.

The advice give earlier about turning on the light and watching over him to make sure he doesn't harm himself but not interfering otherwise is the best thing you can do.

Sleep habits are set in stone at 6 months. It will be extremely difficult to get him to sleep in his own crib through the night if you're still taking him to bed w/ you half way through the night. It's fine for now, but be aware that you'll want to get him sleeping in his own crib through the night before he's 6 months old.

It could be colic or teething. Colic: if you're breastfeeding, you might cut dairy/chocolate out of your diet. hold him upright and rub his tummy. but it really sounds like night terrors.

M.,

Where you son is only 4 months old, I am not sure this is it. But, my 3 year old would have what is called night terrors from about age 1.5-2 on (every now and again...not every night).

With night terrors, they usually wake about within the first 30 minutes of going to sleep, but they are not really awake, rather they are still in dream or sleep stage 3 I think it is. So, trying to comfort them does no good because usually they don't even recognize you and just become more scared and agitated. Doctors at Primary Children's would tell us to let her cry back to sleep when this happens and she never had any memory of the event in the morning. If she would let us hold her, we could do that to make us feel better, but whatever you can do to just ensure that they don't hurt themselves during this frantic state.

Something to think about, but again, where your little one is only 4 months, I am thinking that it would be too young for this, but I guess you never know so I thought I would pass the info along just in case.

i have a six month old and we just got her past this phase. in her case she was having lots of gas and tummy trouble. i don't know if that is the case with your little guy but if i was in your situation i would be grabbing him and comforting him until he was calm again. if he is scared or even if he is gassy, he will feel safer in your arms. that will do so much for your bond together. besides he is only 4 months and most of the sleep through the night methods are not recommended until a baby is 6 months from what i understand. also buy getting him at this young age when he cries you can do a little experiment. if you are able to comfort him and calm him over a couple of nights you may be able to figure out what is happening with him. it can be hard to seperate all their little behaviors when they are in their crib.also as a mommy you will probably feel better if you are holding him. that is all just my opinion but i bet once you get him figured out, you will be on the fast track to through-the -night sleeping. we used the same start in your own bed then come to bed with us model as you guys and our baby girl is sleeping well now all night in her bed so hang in their!

M.,

ok, i sent you one response but decided it was too not helpful. here is what i would do: i would go to him and pick him up and comfort him, hold him, walk him, sing to him, bounce him, nurse him, whatever is comforting. 4 month olds don't cry for no reason. tell him, i don't know what is going on, but something is, and i'm here. even if he falls asleep in your arms, that doesn't cancel out the HUGE skill he is already doing successfully which is falling asleep on his own at bedtime! i think responding with comfort and holding him is more important than "sticking to your program." besides, this is a blip - it will pass. it could be his tummy, teeth, gas, who knows, but it's something and it merits a response. after you calm him down you can try putting him back down almost asleep or asleep and then just rub his head or kiss him, saying, now you can rest in your cozy crib, i will be right in the next room if you need me. this is what i would do and this will pass!

The no cry sleep solution has some great suggestions for sleeping. But above all, trust your instincts about your baby. if you want to go to him, do it. you know him better than anyone or any book. someone told me in the beginning - read your baby, not the books, which i thought was great. but it's hard your first time around. do you have an experienced mom or grandma whose style you like and who you respect? they are worth their weight in gold. and remember, you can be creative, always. i remember being SO tired at 4 months with my first one. you'll get through it together, just be kind to yourselves and to your baby, that's the most important part! :)