My Baby Is Not Sucking Properly - Chomping

I am going through issues with my son as well. He is almost 7 weeks and has latch issues on my right side. Sometimes it works- sometimes it doesn't. I did get help from a lactation consultant a couple times- and will go again if I feel I need it. You might give 'em a call if you haven't already. You can even go in and get hands on help. They watch what is going on and help you work through it. It made me feel so much better- I have also heard that using a pacifier can help get babies sucking. Hang in there!

My daughter did the same thing when she was small and here it was that I had no milk (or not enough for her) I even went to a specailist and he tested me and that is why she was not sucking properly becasue I didn't have enough milk for her and my body would not produce enough, so no you are not a bad mother.
Jade

A lactation consultant was a godsend for me. Try to find someone who is not hospital based - the hospital-based consutants aren't so helpful in my experience - I think b/c they primarily deal with newborns. If you're in the phila area the breastfeeding resource center in Glenside is fantastic - they are non-judgmental and they charge on a sliding fee scale - so there shouldn't be any cost issues. do what you need to do for your family - but a lactatuion consultatnt may be worth a shot before you decide to wean. good luck!

I was SO there with you. As everyone says, it does get better, but I know the days are long right now. As for the nipple pain, I had a compounded cream (your ped can perscribe it)-- I can't remember what it was called, but it had ibuprofin, an anti-fungal, and some kind of pain killer in it. Worked like a charm.

Just remember-- you are his mother, not a milk dispenser. If he gets more milk, that is fabulous, but if you aren't enjoying the time with him b/c of nursing, stop nursing.

(Also, if it has been a really rough 3 months, make sure you get evaluated for post-partum depression. Don't mess around with that!)

First of all, no matter what choice you make you are not a bad mom. If you are taking care of your child and making the best decisions for your family, you are being a good mom. If you aren't seeing a lactation consultant, you might want to consider that. Mine was very supportive and knowledgeable. However, if you decide to wean don't beat yourself up about it. Take a look at the big picture and do what you think is best for your family.

I had a terrible time with both of my children latching as well as milk production. I worked with a lactation consultant. She was very helpful and highly recommended. She was also very non-judgmental. After several weeks of trying, I had decided to give up on breastfeeding because each feeding was a royal battle - kicking, screaming, etc. It was terrible. My husband and I felt that continuing breastfeeding was detrimental to the bonding process and that wasn't acceptable to us. So we switched gears. Neither of us regret our decision. We had much happier babies afterward and we got to enjoy parenting and bonding. Good luck making your decision.

First, stop stressing - it only makes it worse =O}. Our son was born at 34 1/2 weeks and had a HORRIBLE time nursing. I pumped for most of the 10 months he was breastfed.

He was too little to nurse at first, so I pumped. Then about 3 weeks later he finally started nursing using a nipple shield - but he didn't do very well, so I always had to pump afterwards anyway (that was stressful - make sure you don't leave the house without the shield and pump and accessories). Once he finally got the hang of nursing, he was too used to bottles and the fact that he didn't have to work at it. I cried when he decided the bottles were easier, but kept pumping.

It was very frustrating, but I kept telling myself breast milk is the best thing for him and that his health was more important than my issues.

We bought one of the car adapters for the breast pump and anytime we would go anywhere, my husband would drive and I would pump.

Don't feel pressured to do the same, you need to do what is right for you and your baby. Good luck with your decision - I would consult a lactation consultant to see if there is anything they could help with also. Take a deep breath and good luck =O}

hi C.,
my sympathies! the early months of breastfeeding can be such a challenging time. my boy is now 9 months and has breastfed almost exclusively (we tried giving him breastmilk a couple times in a bottle, but he never got the hang of them) though i'd say that we really didn't get the hang of things till around 3 months. the first 2+ months were torture... i've never experienced frustration or discouragement like that before. he was 9lbs at birth, and because of the difficulty he had latching, he lost almost 20% of his birthweight within 2 weeks! it was pretty scary...people would insist that we needed to switch him to formula immediately, but we didn't, i simply did anything and everything i could to get the milk into him, which included using a little cup and even an eyedropper.
my mom's reminder to me that "this too will pass" rang in my head every day! and let me tell you that though i can empathize and relate to mommies who give up on the breastfeeding, i am so glad we stuck with it and simply kept at it as things slowly but surely improved. isn't it crazy how a day can feel like foreverrrrrr when the nursing is horrible?!
these days i can hardly believe we are the same nursing pair! he's just started teething and has chomped a couple of times, but still, i'm really really enjoying our nursing relationship and love that he is getting the best i can give!
be encouraged... if you really want to keep nursing, you can do it! you'll both figure it out together.
if you think that switching to bottle would be best for you both (and your sanity! :) then you can make that work too.
as moms, we need to remember go gentle on ourselves... the guilt and indecision we put ourselves through is pretty wild at times. i pray you find yourself surprised by the little but wonderful improvements that can happen in even a day.
all the best!

I completely understand what you are feeling and going through. My son (who is 7 months old now) just would not latch on, and the only way he would do so is by using a nipple shield. And even then, he wouldn't get enough out on his own so I had to pump after each feeding anyways. After about a month of trying, I actually ended up exclusively pumping for 6 months with him. I tried the lactation consultant, but it just seemed like he was not getting it. I think you've tried hard...maybe you want to try a lactation consultant if you feel that might help (or if you just feel you should try that.) And if it doesn't work, you definitely gave it your best. I know some people may disagree with me, but with speaking to other Mom's about this, I really think that some babies just have a hard time understanding how to latch on. Being a new Mom is tough enough, and I can understand how this is making things even harder. Also, when I did ween, I really had a hard time with it as well. I did feel like I was a failure, but then the more I thought about it, I believe that any breastmilk you can give your child is better than none at all. And you have done that for him and got him off to a great start. Good luck!

First of all, you are not a bad mom if you quit breastfeeding....you have done a wonderful job sticking with it for 3 monhths, especially if your baby hasn't caught on yet. Has your pediatrician checked to see if his tongue is "tied" (sometimes the little piece of skin under the tongue is too short and impairs their sucking...they fix it by cutting it) Also, have you seen a lactation consultant? If that isn't an option, the La Leche league usually has some great tips and support staff. I know in our area they have a local breastfeeding support group...you could probably find one in your area by contacting the maternity floor where you delivered. Good luck! Remember, you are a good mom as long as you are concerned about what is best for your child, and you are doing the best you know how.
J. W

Before you throw in the towel, try this: http://www.familybreastfeeding.org/helpline.asp it's a link for the Family Breastfeeding Association. That's the link for their helpline that you can call. They have breastfeeding counselors that can help you, and they are local. I delivered at Abington Hospital and their lactation consultant called me and (at my request) they had a breastfeeding counselor call me also. She was very helpful and would call every couple of days to see how I was doing and answer any questions. Or you could try a lactation consultant. It's your decision, but if you want to continue to nurse, you need some professional guidance at this point. Hope it works out for you.

That's a rough start, and I can certainly sympathsize. DD was a 34 week premie and we started out on the nipple shield for excessive weight loss. We were successful in weaning from the nipple shield, only to deal with excruciatint nipple pain.

In the end, it's going to depend on how important breastfeeding is to you. If you are determined that this is the best thing you can do for your child and that you will succeed no matter what struggles you have, you will most likely succeed. If you think it's too hard, if you think people validating your wanting to quit gives you permission, or that it's not worth the emotional, physical, and mental stress, you most likely won't succeed.

Assuming you want to succeed, feel free to read on. If you don't want to continue feel free to just skip over this one.

There's a huge growth spurt at 3 months and the best thing to do is keep him on the breast as frequently as possible and for as long as possible. It may also be true that because you're using a shield, you need extra stimulation (pumping) to ensure you have an adequate supply.

Can you take a nursing vacation and just hang out on the couch or in bed with the little one, preferably topless and with DS in just a diaper for as much skin to skin contact as possible. There are several ways to wean from the shield. I always offered the bare breast first, whether she latched successfully or not, then nursed with the shield if she didn't. You can also get them started with the shield then once the nursing session is started, pop him off, remove the shield and relatch him.

For the chomping, I would remove him, calmly if possible, and sternly tell him that "we don't bite momma" while making the most serious, angry face you can. Then put the boob away for a minute before starting over. They may not always understand the words, but they can read emotion on your phase and will respond to tone. I've been doing this with DD for the last 6-8 weeks (she's 9 months) for biting because she's teething. Now that her top front teeth are just about through the gums, her desire to chomp down is greatly lessened. If you are consistent, they will learn that biting/chomping down means they lose the boob.

Why did you start offering formula? In order to get your supply up, you must tell your body to make as much as the little one is taking in. For every bottle that you feed, you must pump - and ideally get the same amount he takes in. If you need to use the pump to increase your supply, you should be pumping every 2 hours during the day with at least a double electric pump, but preferably with a hospital grade doule electric.

Anything is possible if you are determined. If you haven't already done so, contact LLL or an IBCLC. Both of these resources should be able to help you address all of the issues you metioned. The WHO recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months and continued breastfeeding until age 2 and thereafter as long as desired by mother and child. The AAP, which is expected to revise it's position to be in line with WHO, recommends exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months and then continued breastfeeding with the introduction of complimentary solids for a minimum of 12 months, but preferably as long as desired by both mother and child. There are lasting health benefits for both you and the baby by following these recommendations.

S.

C.!! OMG you are not a bad mom if you quit breast feeding after trying it for three months!! Sure, it's the ideal way to go, but there is nothing wrong with switching to formula at this point. I bottle fed two of my girls and nursed the third for about 9 weeks. (That's all that the two of us could handle.) Now you'll get some answers here from die-hard "breast is best" ladies and the bottom line is whatever is best for you will be best for your baby. If you want to continue trying to nurse go for it, if you want to switch to formula full-time, go for it. The decision is yours and you have to do what will make both of you happy and satisfied. Neither decision will make you a bad mom or a good mom. Let common sense be your guide....Good luck and best wishes!

Oh, sweetie! I feel for you. You're in a tough spot because it sounds to me like your baby has a case of nipple confusion! The fastest way to get rid of it is to banish ALL artificial nipples & JUST breastfeed. I realize that that may be easier said than done, especially if you work.

Why, may I ask did you start with the nipple shield? Do you have flat or inverted nipples? If so, a better solution is something called a Breast or Nipple SHELL. (You can often find them @ Babies R Us & they are made by Medela). This is something that you wear in between feedings instead of during a feeding & it helps to draw your nipple out & keep it from retracting all the way in.

The biggest, most crucial piece of advice that I can give you though is to seek the help of a very experienced La Leche League Leader AND/OR a IBCLC Lactation Consultant ASAP!!!!!!!!!! The sooner you get professional help, the better you'll be & the happier you'll both be!

In the meantime, if you have never looked on www.KellyMom.com it is a fabulous gem of a site with tons of info & resources.

Please don't give up! You can do this! You can figure it out! Just get help! Breastfeeding is, as you know, such a priceless gift to your child that will last a lifetime & carries many long-term benefits to you as well. You need some help but you CAN do this!!!!!!

Keep up the good work, Momma!!!! You can do it!!!!!
Hugs!
A.

Just wondering did you ever has his tongued checked? Both my kids where "tongue tied" and it made breast feeding impossible. It's where the little flap thingy under the tongue is too short and they catch get latched on right. It is a very minor procedure to get it clipped. They can do it right at the docs office usually and does not seem to bother the babies... hope this helps...

P.

Not sure if this is helpful...but my son had the WORST time breast feeding and it was extremely painful for me. Sometimes he would be super frustrated and give up while crying. Other times I would be the one crying after prying him off my throbbing nipple which by 15 minutes he had mashed almost flat. I was about to give up at two months when I did some research and found out he was "tongue tied." We brought him to see an Ear, nose, throat doctor and after a quick 5 minute procedure both our problems were almost immediately solved....no retraining necessary.

This may not be the problem in your case, but I was really upset because both my peds doc and my lactation consultant missed this. Had I not done my own research I would have given up breast feeding and felt that it was my fault for not being tough enough to take it every day.

Best of luck,

M.

C.,
All of this stress cannot be a good thing. Please do not feel guilty if you need to bottle feed or formula feed your son. You've given it a good go and if you choose to call O. and a lactation specialist can't help, please don't feel bad about weaning. The most important thing is that your baby gets the food he needs. Breast milk OR formula. You are not a failure. It is not worth the stress you are putting yourself through. My son was exclusively formula fed (my choice) and he is a happy, healthy five year old. He'll be fine either way. Do what's right for YOU, not what everyone else TELLS you you need to be doing. This will be the first of many, many "mom-decisions" YOU need to make for what is best for YOUR son. Good luck and God Bless.

From what you have said, your child is eating and growing. The way in which you provide nutrition for your childe, whether you are breastfeeding, bottlefeeding, or a combination of the two, does not determine whether or not you are a good mother. Also, I have to say that the final decision on how to nurish your child has to come down to you and your child. Don't feel guilty about the choice you make if it is the right one for you and your child. If your child is healthy and growing, and both of you are feeling less stressed, then you are doing a good thing.

Do NOT take this to mean that I am advocating giving up on breastfeeing. In fact, my recommendation is that you contact the La Leche League or a lactation consultant in your area and sit down with experienced Moms who have successfully breastfed (with or without problems). They can look at what you are doing and recommend techniques to get you where you need to be. ALSO, OF GREAT IMPORTANCE, is for you to relax. The more stressed you are the harder it will be for you to breastfeed your little one. The baby will feel your stress and you will have a harder time letting down.

The answers to some of your questions... Yes, you can get him to suck right but it is not usually an easy thing to do. It will most likely take work and patience. You are not a bad mom if you quit. My son bit a for a few weeks after getting his first teeth. It was painful but yes we did get through it with the help of friends from the La Leche League. Our area has regular meetings each month plus the women who run our chapter are wonderful and happy to help out in between meetings. Check the La Leche League website to find a contact for one in your area.

A final note... I've had a lot of negative experiences in breastfeeding (have 3 kids, only successfully breastfed 1 -- the middle one) BUT it was all worth it when it was successful. With my daughter, I had complications during the c-section I ended up having with her. Afterwards, my milk came in great and we were doing okay despite my inverted nipple. Then I started to lose my milk supply, I believe due to the complications. After trying to increase by feeding 10-15 minutes on each breast, then supplementing and then pumping for 6 weeks, I gave up and gave her the formula. I cried with almost every bottle for those first 6 weeks and did cry with each bottle for the first 3 days after quitting breastfeeding. (Made me feel like a failure.) With my second child (first son), I tried and we were having problems with the inverted nipple but he was gung ho and we were doing great BUT he was not gaining weight. Seems while my milk supply was good, the milk was skim milk rather than whole milk (ha,ha,ha), he needed extra calories. However, we went to the La Leche League meetings (I hadn't known about them with my first) and persevered through our problems. He breastfed (with minimal supplementation) until after he was 18 months old. Although the last couple of months it was just at bedtime. My third was jaundiced and they recommended giving him formula to help with the jaundice. He had a few bottles and decided that they were much easier than the breast. He started to refuse the breast. I tried with him for over 6 weeks but he would not latch on and suck from the breast. Again, I cried when I gave up. I know breastfeeding has benefits that formula does not. However, I have to say that my daughter is brilliant. She is going into 3rd grade, has had a straight 4.0 her entire academic life, and is in the gifted program. She was reading chapter books in Kindergarten and has always done more complicated math problems than she is supposed to be able to do.

I guess my point is that you need to do what is right for you and your child. Oh, one technique they said to try with the biting... When the child chomps down, don't try to pull them off the nipple. Instead, pull them into you blocking their airways a little until they let go. It will only take a second or two and won't hurt your child. It will however discourage them from the continued practice and keep you from being more hurt when they pull off. My son would chomp down and then yank his little head back. He drew blood the one time he did it. We tried the break his latch and firmly tell him know but that didn't work. When he chomped down with his little teeth and I gently pressed him in, he let go right away and we were both happier and not in pain.

Good luck. I hope this long narrative is helpful to you.

Is your son tounge tied? My son was born tounge tied and he had a horrible time sucking on pacifiers and sometimes had trouble sucking on his bottles. If your not sure if he is check the skin under the tounge if it goes to the end of the tounge then he is. It can be fixed surgically in seconds but you would have to wait til he is a year old.

First of all, you won't be a bad mom if you quit! So get that right out of your head. :)

Every situation is different, and you have to decide what works for you.

I would contact somebody from La Leche League or find another mother who has had a lot of experience with breastfeeding... sometimes you just need an outside opinion to help solve a problem.

Otherwise, I would continue to pump and supplement with formula. Remember, some breastmilk is better than none, and so your effort with pumping is still very valuable. There is no perfect balance other than what works for you... so if you only pump 2-3 bottles a day, and the rest of the time he is on formula, so be it. Still better than no breastmilk.

This is what I did with my son and it worked well... it also gave me a little bit of a break to rest (since I was working full time.)

Good luck! Breastfeeding doesn't have to be all or nothing...

Hi C.,

I'm sorry that you are having such a difficult time with your baby latching on. My son had a lot of difficulties with latch in the beginning as well and we used a nipple shield. Most babies will self-wean from the nipple shield onto the breast at around 3-6 months. How often does your baby get a bottle? I would suggest stopping all bottles and just giving him the nipple shield or your breast. The bottles may be confusing him. I wouldn't switch to formula unless you absolutely have to. New studies have found high levels of BPA in formula because of the cans that they are packaged in. BPA is especially harmful for little boys and it is scary that it is in formula. BPA has been banned in Europe and Canada, but the US government isn't currently doing anything to protect us from this harmful chemical.

To see information on the effects of BPA, click here: <http://www.arxmanhealth.com/harmful-effects-of-bpa-in-pla...;

To learn about BPA and formula, click here: <http://www.ewg.org/reports/bpaformula&gt;

Will your son nurse with the nipple shield? If he starts refusing the shield, put him directly on the breast. He may be going through the natural transition off of the shield. Here is some information that may help you to get him nurse directly: <http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.h...;

Good luck! And please let me know if I can help in anyway.

J.

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I am a mother of two. My daughter is 7 years old and I have a 7 month old son. I breast-fed my daughter for a little over a year and am currently nursing my son. It is not easy. I had a rough start with my daughter but after a month of painful nipples, we both adjusted. I expected nursing my son would be a breeze. I was wrong. He was 3 weeks early and would not latch on correctly. I had to use a nipple shield (which I did not have to use with my daughter). I found the shield to be awkward and cumbersome. I would get frustrated with it and I am sure that my son sensed my frustration. I kept at it and eventually (about 2 1/2 months) I was nipple shield free. I think that people assume (as I did) that breastfeeding is this natural experience that mommy and baby will know how to do immediately following birth. This is not the case. It is learned (just like speech and walking) and with any learned experience, there is frustration. You can get him to suck right. My first advice would be to take a deep breath and relax. Try offering your breast (w/o the shield) after you have been feeding for a little while. I found if my son was frantic with hunger he had a more difficult time latching on. After he had been nursing for a little while I would take of the shield, burp him, and try to latch him on without the shield. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it did not. I kept at it until finally; I could nurse without the shield. If your baby bites, take him off your breast and latch him back on. Do this every time he bites. He will eventually get that biting means no breast. I know it's been three months but three months for a baby is much different than three months for us. Three months ago he was floating in a warm, wet home. Give him time, he will learn. If you decide to stop, it does not make you a bad mother. If you are unhappy at what you are doing, your baby will pick up on that. You have to do whatever is best for your baby and you. The fact that you are scared that you will be a bad mom if you quit clearly shows that you put your child first. Good luck!

Calus-
First, let me just say, hang in there. I am so sorry this is happening to you. My first was tough. I used a breast shield, too. Does he suck on a pacifier or thumb or anything like that? I really don't have any answers for you. You are not a bad mom for stopping. Do what you can. Sanity is important!!!! If you don't mind pumping, it saves money on formula and he still gets the nutrients from the breast milk. Have you tried different positions to nurse him? I had to do the 'football hold' with all four of mine. I don't know if that helps at all or not, just a couple thoughts. I will be praying that things work out for you. Hang in there and know that being a mom is tough, but the rewards are unimaginable! This too shall pass.
K.

breastfeeding can be hard, but before you decide to quit call your local la la lache group they will be able to give you free breastfeeding help.