My Angel Stole $32 from Me :(

Updated on March 02, 2008
D.H. asks from Mansfield, TX
6 answers

Any advice out there on what the punishment should be for a 7 year old taking $32 off of my bathroom counter, taking it to school and trying to add it to his snack account?!?!

I'm so upset. Money has been tight lately and I really didn't think it bothered him so much, he just says aw man when he asked for money and I say not today. But this is not the first time, early last summer he took some quarters from my dad's quarter jar for a soda...

I know its "kid stuff" but I have always been so proud of him. He has always helped me around the house, helped with his younger siblings and I don't want to overreact because he always feels very guilty if I come down hard on him.. he once said I don't even deserve a home (back when this happened in the summer and I was so upset I was yelling and crying)I dont want to do that again.. if I ground him he wont be able to particpate in his last basketball game of the season...

anyhow do yall have any ideas that you'd share?
Thanks
D.

1 mom found this helpful

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W.W.

answers from Tyler on

I read the other responses about allowances. That would be my suggestion, too. If we only looked at this 7 year old, it might be easy to say "You can come up with $7 a week," but then if you don't give to your others, you might caus them to steal in order to cause you to give them an allowance. I read somewhere that half their age is a good place to start, and they can earn extra with chores at the parent's discretion. I have an 8 year old who can earn $4 a week. She doesn't always earn it because of not doing chores. I have a 3 year old who gets $1.50 and a 5 year old who gets $2.50. It's a good way of teaching saving, tithing, and also they see the value of money a little more (still not perfectly). Your son could have to earn his allowance for several weeks to pay back the amount taken from you. If you set up an allowance for him, I'd suggest an allowance for the others (except the baby of course)...just so you avoid hurt feelings. Hope this helps.

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L.J.

answers from Dallas on

Hi D.,
7 is a great age for boys. Have you considered giving him an allowance? You can start really low and maybe include additional chores for him to be able to earn it. I started my son at 6 with $.25 a week. He earned bonuses (left over change from the week) by doing extra chores. Hope this helps give you some ideas.

L.

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M.B.

answers from Abilene on

I am a mother of four and we have found that the more slack we give your kids the more they run with it. My son recently took a pencil from the teacher that was not his and it made me soooo upset. I was like you and my first reaction was to hound on him and talk...talk...talk. I found with him I was just making it worse. Just keep in mind....$32.00 now could lead to a lot worse later in life. It's hard to punish but you have to keep in mind that you are setting the ground for what he will become! Good Luck!

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C.B.

answers from Abilene on

I know it breaks your heart when a child does something like this; Its important for him to know that you still love him, but you're not happy with the choice he made. He is also old enough to have consequences for his behavior. I like the advice about giving him an allowance, but if you're doing it for one child you'll probably need to do it for the others. Right now that may not be possible.

He does need to pay back his debt, even if the money was returned to you. You can ground him, but then you wind up punishing his basketball team for something he did, not them. Maybe, it no TV or video games until he's worked off his debt. Then it doesn't affect his game. Just a thought, I hope this helps!

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M.

answers from Dallas on

D.,

It is pretty typical for even good kids (who don't necessarily grow up to rob 7-11's) to do that from time to time, especially if they are always told no, etc. You mentioned that he is really helpful around the house, etc...do you ever reward him for his good help? Perhaps he wouldn't take if you were to give him certain chores and ask him to help you with certain things...and gave him like $7/week. Tell him that each year, he will get an extra dollar per week to match his age, etc...Even when money is tight, I think we can all come up with an extra $7/week...one less coke or latte here or there, etc...Hope that helps!

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi D., I dont believe in paying for chores around the house because I want my kids to know we all live there and we all need to pitch in and help out and we need to take pride in ownership. I do however award good behavior and good report cards. The reward has to then be divided into savings, charity, and play. I think the best punishment in these cases he should go to the cashier at school and ask for the money back with a confession of what he did. (you by his side of course) rather or not she can give you the money is not the point it is him taking full responsibility and having to confess to someone else. We did this with my daughter over a stuffed animal it broke my heart she bawled the whole time and you could barely understand her as she told the cashier. It is hard to do but I gave her plenty of love later that night. she doesnt even play with things at the store without asking first now. Hope that helps!

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