My Almost 2 Year Old WONT Talk

Hi I have a lot of friends who have 2 year olds. One of them can only say like 4 words. The other one just started talking. They said that they don't talk because you know what they are saying without talking. However when one of them went away, he started talking a lot because they didn't know what his points and sounds meant.

As long as he has good eye contact and social with others, I wouldn't worry about Autism - I used to work with Autistic kids. He may have a speech delay, in which case you will want to start him in speech therapy asap. It may just be the new baby thoery that you talked about as well - sorry, I guess I'm not much help - just wanted to give my 2 cents on the Autistic thing, since I do have experience with that. Good luck!!

K.,
My son was born 9 weeks early and did not talk by the time he was 2 either. His pediatrician was concerned and so we took him to a speech therapist several times a week for several months with no success. Finally we enrolled him in preschool 3 days a week (I was a stay at home mom) and in no time he was talking up a storm! He just needed to be with kids his own age. Now he is 7 and will not ever stop talking!

K.,
you might be right about your son, he might just feel as though the new baby took your attention off of him and he is reacting by closing himself in his shell. At that age children don't understand "sharing" and he was the "baby" before you had the last child, right?
All I can think of is to try to cut some time aside for him only (leave the other two children with somebody else for an hour or two every day for some time) and play with him, encourage him to repeat the sounds the you make playing or even the words that you say. Also you can leave the house with him to go grocery shopping or something like this, just to be you and him alone in the world: this will make him feel like you are a "unit" and he is important to you.I would also touch him every now and then while doing stuff with the other children and around the house (a caress on his head or a quick kiss on his forehead for example), just to let him know "I'm here".
It must be painful being so small and not understanding why your world has changed all of a sudden!

Good luck

S.

K.,
I understand your concern. I cannot tell you what is going on with your son, but I can tell you what my parents have told me about myself when I was little. My dad especially, tells others that instead of talking I would point to something and make grunting or hissing noises. They knew I could say a few words, but I just did not talk. I was also very shy. I think the term today is "stranger anxiety" and it would seem that has stayed with me as I do suffer from anxiety and especially when I am in a room with people I do not know. I was going to mention that he may be trying to act like the baby too. I have heard how some young children tend to revert back to baby actions when a baby comes around. On the other hand, your little girl asking questions all the time might have him feeling like he needs to be quiet too. I think my parents said that my sister (3 years older than me) would ask a lot of questions too. As long as you are talking to the doctors and they do not seem to think there is anything causing it, I would not worry so much. However, you could alway locate a specialist and talk to them about the possibility of something like autism. I am not sure if this has helped ease your concerns, but maybe you feel a little better knowing that others have been through something similar and could share it with you.

I'd give it maybe 2 more months max, then have it checked out. My oldest - when he was just about 3, was put in the hospital (long story) but the little boy next to him was just under 2 years old, and he was talking up a storm, when mine was saying 1-2 word sentences, very sporadic.

I brought it up to his doctor, and he referred me to get further testing done. My ex mother in law told me that my ex husband didn't even speak till after he was 3. So based on that I waited. Well, my son turned four, and still wasn't speaking any better than he was a year earlier. So at 4 I got him tested. By the way, he was 4 weeks early when born.

Sure enough he did have speech delays and got speech therapy. There is still some question about possible learning process, but he is doing just fine in school. My point is there is something out there called "Early Intervention" and had I known that I would have had him checked out a lot sooner and he would have gotten help much sooner.

My little girl is now almost 6 years old and did the same...had numerous trips to and from the doctors..and specialist...thinking everything imaginable to include possible sugery for the little skin under her tongue. She's been in speach therapy for about 2 years now...a little slow at her articulation, but most children don't fully articulate their words until the age of 8...can you imagine!! The final conclusion was that her older sister was asking what she needed to know..and had no real sense of needing to express herself through words. It sounds that you're going through the same thing. It's amazing how dependent our children really are to those that are the closest to them...their siblings. I wish you all the comforts possible and hope this will help to relieve some of your stress.
Best Wishes and God Bless,
M.

I agree with Alexandra. All children develop differently. And doesn't mean that he will be delayed. My daughter turned 2 she doesn't really want to talk either. But she counts to ten and knows most of the alphabet song. Knows mama dada hi bye bye baby and no yes but won't really saw them much, it's always a surprise. Well she says hi baby to my son several times a day. I taught her to count by accident. I was using her as a weight as I did all my excercises and was counting out load. the next day she was climbing all over me and I didn't get that she wanted to "excercise" with me. so she started to count! I couldn't believe it! So I never miss my excercises. now I sing the alphabet while we do it and next we will count in spanish. it doesn't seem like excercise anymore we actually are having fun and I am looking great (if I do say so myself). How's that for efficient? So doctors said she must be having a hearing problem...I think I just wasn't coming down to her level...so find something he likes and incorporate it in in a creative way...I also sing alphabets and count for everything now. And she now comes up and counts my fingers and objects...I'm so proud of her and make a huge deal everytime start dancing give her kisses hugs etc. I make sure she hears me brag about her when i'm on the phone...she knows. Ummm well that's what i think.

Hi K.,
My name is P. and I am a school social worker from Michigan. I worked for 6 years in the school system here very closing with two OUTSTANDING speech therapists. First, I agree with have his hearing tested first. Then contact your local school district to ask about a speech and language evaluation. Usually, this will be done without charge. If there is a delay, he will be enrolled in speech therapy before he enters school and will hopefully catch up before he begins school. As many others have said, all children develop differently. If he doesn't have a delay, the therapist will usually recommend activities for you to do at home to encourage speech. Either way you and your son win! Good Luck!P.

With our first son, we thought he would never talk, or walk for that matter, however we kept talking to him like we talk to everyone else (not baby talk) and we read to him and I will tell you that once he started, there was no going back. He is now in 5th grade with a 9th grade reading level and very intelligent. Our other son just won't quit talking. Every child is different and we shouldn't compare our own to other children because of that reason. My best advice has been to go with your instinct because 98% of the time your gut is right. Moms know their own children better than they think.

HI K.,
I am a Mom and also a speech therapist. Since Austin is almost 2 I would suggest getting a speech and language evaluation from early intervention, which is free no matter what state you live in. It sounds like he does have a few words he says based on what you said; by two years old most kids should have about 50 words and be putting two words together like "more juice". Even if you are pretty sure he doesn't have a speech delay, it wouldn't hurt to get an evaluation and have someone give you some suggestions for how to get him to talk more without frustrating him (or you! :) Your pediatrician could tell you how to get a referral to early intervention or if you let me know what state you are in I can help, too. Good luck and thanks for you post, you are my hero for having three kids! I have one baby girl and she keeps me so busy I can't imagine having more (but I do want more some day).
C.

If you are really worried, have your doc check him out for hearing problems. You can also contact your local public schools to arrange for speech and developmental assessments when he gets closer to three if there are no hearing impairments and your doc doesn't recommend speech services. This service is free. Call your local school board's special ed department for more information. I can tell you about Suffolk and Portsmouth. My step son was two months premature and had maybe 20 words when he turned three. At almost 5 now he is mostly conversational, but has a long way to go. If it hadn't been for the early intervention services he would be so very much more behind. And also with the assessments you can find out if it's that he's just not wanting to talk or if he can't. If there is a problem it's better to address it soon rather than wait and hope for the best. At least with testing you'll know what needs to be done if anything at all. Good luck!

If he is 22 months now, and he was two months premature, developmentally he would only be 20 months, so I would give it a few more months before I worried too much about his speech. Also, alot of times when there's one a few years older in the house, they tend to do all the talking and the younger ones don't get to say so much. At my son's daycare, there is a little boy who was born in the same month as mine (27 months), but at 24 months, he was only saying two words. Now just a few months later, he's talking in nearly complete sentences. Even though he was a little later talking, it caught up all the sudden. Most of them do have a burst in language around two. Do you live in Harnett County? If you are still really concerned, you can get him evaluated by CDSA (Child Development Services Agency). It's completely free, and if they do show him to have a delay, he'll qualify for speech therapy too...and then after he turns three, if he's still not better, he can qualify for the developmental preschool in the county. My mom is a nurse for CDSA...that's why I know so much. Their number is ###-###-####. Good luck! :)

Hi K.,
Well, you've gotten a lot of great advice already! My son is 13 months and just doesn't say much of anything, although he babbles all day long. It is normal for boys to take longer, they do develop slower than girl's. One thing I haven't seen here is the baby sign language. I checked out a book from the library that shows a bunch of signs for things so at least they can tell you what they want without the fits. You may want to check it out also. There are a lot of different baby sign language books & they are all great. They are more geared for babies, but really can be used for all kids. My 8 year old daughter is having a great time learning sign language and talking with her baby brother...so you can't go wrong there.
Good luck with that & don't panic yet!
Y.

Hey K., My name is P.. Listen I wouldn't worry to much, my brother is 47 years old and when he was 3 he was not speaking yet either. This is because my grandmother would give him everything he pointed to mom took him to the doc's. and they found nothing worng with him now he will not shut up lol.After u figure out what Austin wants try to get him to say whatever it is, also have his ears checked, take him for a hearing test i say this cause my nephew did not speak until oh i forget what age but, he heard everthing muffled he needed tubes in his ears after that he could hear evething clear and began to speak more. Like my brother he has not been quite since lol. I hope this has helped.

I wouldn't jump to any conclusions about autism or other problems. Some kids just take longer than others to talk. I think I read that Einstein didn't talk until he was 3. I think you may be right about him reacting to his baby sister and trying to get attention in that way. I would just keep talking to him a lot and reward him with lots of praise when he does talk. Maybe give him some special time when you are reading books or singing songs that involve language. Does he have playdates or go to day care? If not, some interaction with a child around his age who does talk may encourage him. Don't let other people label him! Some day when he is giving a famous speech, you can laugh about how he talked late!

My mom raised three children and I have three as well. I was concerned as my baby who is now 2 yrs. and 3 mons. was not saying much at all either. I even made a doctors appt. and the doctor said that when he was ready he would talk, the same thing my mom said. Sure enough, with time and a little patience he started talking. Does he take a pacifier. My two year old still hasn't let that habit go and I also learned that taking that away during the day except for nap time, has helped him to talk more. Also, his pediatrician suggested that I read to him and show him picture books and I think this helped also. He likes to point things out and tell me what they are and I make a big deal out of it when he does talk for encouragement. I also believe that having more children in the house, does not make it easier for the baby. I have heard a lot of people say that he will be talking in no time with two older siblings, well I'm here to tell you, that might work for some kids, but not mine. He started talking reall well once the kids went back to school from christmas break. I don't know why that is, but when the children were home he wouldn't talk. Good Luck and I'm sure it will work itself out.

One more thing, we did have his hearing checked b/c he has tubes in his ears. Of course everything with his hearing checked out fine.

Sincerely,
MS

When my son Keegan was almost 2 he didn't speak either. I was also worried but the doctor told me to "stick" it out until his 2nd birthday and then we would go from there. I swear that on his 2nd birthday words just rolled out of his month and they haven't stopped. Alot of people have told me that boys just wait to talk. One thing that I did with Keegan was I asked him what he wanted and if I didn't understand I asked him to show me. He would point and I'd ask him what it was, he would get frustrated but I repeated the word 3 times and asked him to then tell me what it was. I want to think that helped. But he will develop in his own time. Good Luck!!!!

i have a three yr almost 4 yr old the same way. does the older one do most of the talking? i have a 13 yr old , 5 yr old twins. my oldest boy which is 5 does most of the talking for his twin sister and for the 3 yr old. i have my daughter in speech. but other then that she is fine. just can't talk well because of her brother doing all the talking. it might be because of the baby. have u tried use ur words. i find that works too. at first they get frustred but then they are fine. i say use ur words then mommy will get u it.

What about sign language?? That's something all of your children would benefit from. They say that babies as young as 6 months can learn sign language. Your local library will probably have some baby signing books. I've started signing with my 3 year old and my 1 year old tries too. they both do really well. Then if he doesn't want to speak, he'll still have a way to communicate...then every time he gives you a sign, you could say the word out loud to him, and maybe he'll eventually get the point. I'm also really into making charts for my kids and rewarding them. So they can see their progress with things...this especially help my older son with potty training...though that's a bit different then talking. Good luck to you. I hope I helped give you an idea.

Boys are slower to mature than girls. My son will be two in April and he says very little also but is very aware, sweet, and social. We are not worried and have never had any cause to worry. He communicates with us by taking us to what he wants, pointing, etc. We have heard him say things very clear at times but then he won't say them again until you are least expecting it. IF your son is saying some words just give him time, don't feel pressured by what other children are doing and feeling you have to compare your son to others that are doing more than him.

Hi K.,

You said he can talk when he wants to to some extent. Simetimes with 2nd or 3rd children, they don't talk as much because they don't need to. They can get what they want without talking. You might try trying to get him to say the word for whatever it is he wants. For example: If he whine and points to get a cookie, take the cookie out and say, "Can you tell Mommy cookie?" He'll probably fuss, then you say, "Cookie." Make him try to say the word, the reward being, he knows he's going to get it. After they mastered a words, I would say to my kids -- "Use your words!" It seemed to help.

Good luck!!

I have a 21mth old son who is doing the same thing and like your Austin, he says Momma and Dadda so I know he can talk. He understands directions and stuff so I know he can hear. I think he is just taking his time to learn to talk but I do have him in speech therapy and when they come to my house he does not say a word so they think something is up. When they leave he starts making noises and stuff that normal kids do. I would just give it a little bit longer and if he does not start talking I would check into Speech Therapy. Where I live they offer assistance for family with financial difficulties so if that is how your family is I would check into it.
Hope this information help.

i wouldnt wortry about it to much the more you worry the wors it seems. maybe he just needs to be around kids his age. my little girl didnt say a whole lot until she started to hang around other kids her age. but if you are really worried about it i would go see a doctor they would help you find a speech person if they feel its needed.

Hey K.,

The best advice I can give you is to make him tell you what he wants. All children come into talking in their own time, but sometimes they just want to be stubborn, so when he cries because he wants something or points to it make him verbalize what he wants or don't give it to him. I know as a mama it's hard, but be strong! You sound like you are doing a great job with him and I know it's hard, but he will get over it! The other option you have it to tell him if he wants to act like his baby sister that you will treat him like a baby. Most kids don't like that, they think they are big and want to be treated that way. I'm sure it's just a phase and he'll get over it soon! Just keep working with him, and don't settle or give in because then he wins! I hope this helps some! Good luck!

I would have to agree with the "give him some time" advice. I also have a two year (she turned two in Nov.). She has a wide vocabulary now but a few months ago I began to worry much like you are doing now. Give him some time, every child is different. My daughter has a friend who is only two months older than she and she talks and communicates like a three or four year old. And your theory isn't stupid either, at this age children tend to mimic everything they see so maybe he does feel that that behavior will get him what he wants. My advice is just be patient and when he does whine and cry for what he wants (and when you figure out what exactly that is, lol)teach him how to verbalize his request.

My Aunt had the same trouble with her youngest of 5 children and the doc' said that if you have someone meeting all your needs before you even know you have them then there is nothing to ask for. Maybe he's having all his needs met and his older sibling is doing the talking for him? Just a thought. I'm almost certain that when he starts talking you'll wish he came with an on off button. Hugs, T

At 2 yrs, my son spoke only 5 words. At 2 1/2 he still only spoke 5 words, so we followed our gut and had him evaluated by both CHKD speech therapists and early intervention. He has "apraxia." It is a neurological speech disorder where his brain is not connecting to his mouth. He has now been in speech therapy for 4 months and has made wonderful progress - at least one new word every day. Don't wait, have your child evaulated now. Children learn most of their language skills before they are 3 years old, and the later they learn them, the more difficult it is for them to master them.

Signs of apraxia - did not babble as a baby, comprehension greater than normal age, huffs when trying to respond to a question (searching for ability to speak).

A great book to read - "The Late Talker" by Agin.

K.,

My son is 6 now and didn't really start talking until he was about 2-3 years old and he is an only child. We were concerned and had his hearing checked first thing so if you haven't done that I would reccommend it. My son's hearing was fine...his problem was that he was just taking everything around him in and we also lived with my husband's spanish speaking grandmother. So in the end my son was learning 2 languages but he only speaks one. When he started to talk it was like an explosion. Now all he does is talk and he uses a vocabulary above what you would expect from a 6 year old. I think your thoughts on him not talking because the baby doesn't may also be on target. It could be an attention thing. Maybe you should try to praise your oldest child for using her words and emphasis it that way and he will catch on. Hope this helps.

Hi K.,

I am a 24 year old mother of 2. My daughter is 4 and my son is 2.

It took my son alot longer to start talking then it took my daughter. The same was also true for me (first born) and my sister 2 years younger. She didn't say a word at all until she was 3 and they were talking autism and everything about her too.

I would say he's fine and just keeping talking to him and encouraging him to talk to you.

My cousin was three years old before he really started talking, but even then he'd just whine and point. It wasn't that he couldn't, he just wouldn't. It became easier for him to just point, then to actually say what he wanted. He had two older siblings, which I know made it easier for him to get away with no talking, because they gave him whatever he pointed to.
Like was said before, don't give him what he is asking for, until he actually verbally asks for it! Obviously, at 2 there are some things NO child can say, but with simple things like juice or a toy, make him do more than point. When my aunt started showing concern for my cousin not speaking, that is what her doctor told her. He ended up being able to speak just fine. Probably did it a lot whenever he was alone!! He just knew he'd get more attention by pointing and screaming if he didn't get what he wanted.
I wouldn't be too concerned yet. I mean, he is't even two yet. Kids learn different things at different ages, and as long as he's using some words and babbling some, he's probably perfectly normal. Having an older sister that talks alot probably keeps him quiet now but will help teach him verbal skills as he gets older!

Your situation sounds exactly like mine! I have two boys, 4 and 25 months and the little one is not talking either and the older one didn't talk until he was nearly three and now won't be quiet for two seconds! I have a speech pathology degree and listened to all the common complaints from family and doctors that my older son had to get treatment and that it wasn't normal for him not to say even a few words by the time he was two (just mama and dada), but as his mom, who is around him every day, I understood he did not have a "communication" problem, (he could let you know what he wanted just fine) he was what is known as a "late bloomer" when it came to language. ANd now that my second son is exibiting the same pattern of not talking as well by age 2, I am going to hold off before I jump into anything. His doctor wants him to get his hearing tested and to be seen by a therapist which I just won't do right now. (It is obvious to anyone off the street that he doesn't have a hearing problem)Again, the main thing is whether your child can communicate to you what he wants. Because he has an older sibling who may give him what he wants without his having to ask for it may be playing into it as well. It is completely normal for children, especially male children to not be early talkers. Research has shown that children who are very motor oriented in that they are active, run, jump, climb, play, are usually more concerned with learning new motor skills than learning language. And that is common. DOn't let anyone put thoughts of autism or delays into your head until you have further proof that there is something else going on besides delayed language acquisition. I worried as well, and believe me, I totally understand the four year old asking questions all the time. I get that too from my four year old. I look at him and think, just a year ago he wasn't saying anything and he has no cognitive delays or any kind of academic troubles because of his late talking. So hang in there and go with your gut. YOu can encourage him to say things by not giving him what he wants before he has a chance to ask but to ask him questions like "what do you want? Milk or juice?" He won't answer you but at least he is getting into the mindset that you are expecting him to say something, instead of you saying "Do you want some juice" and all he has to say is yeah, which he can already say. You are most likely the one that is right. If you really feel he is having a problem and that his not talking is the symptom of something bigger then talk to your doctor. But right now, my 2 year old says less than a one year old can, whines and complains when he wants something, and he is happy, active, curious, healthy-he just hasn't decided it is time to talk. Hang in there and I hope this helps somewhat....

Being that he is not quite 2 yrs. old... I wouldn't really worry about it right now... but after he turns two...and he still isn't talking...have him checked...especially his hearing.
I 'll be praying for your son.
God bless you.

My son is now almost 3 and wouldn't talk. He is now in speech tharapy. It is helping a lot. They thought it was his hearing at first but he was screened for it. He also has a 4 year old sister who talks a lot. I think he just needed extra help. Maybe your son does too.

My mom said the same thing about me and the doctor told her that I didn't talk because she did all of the talking for me. Instead of asking me what I wanted to eat, she would say, do you want a cookie? Just simple yes and no responses.
I have a son who has autism and the delayed speech is just one of his signs. Does he make eye contact? does he play with other children? Does he play with toys correctly,ie push cars, build blocks, pretend play. I wouldn't worry about that unless he shows other symptoms.
My mom always told me to listen to my instincts because nobody knows my child like I do. I think your reasoning for him not talking is very possible, you just have to make him talk. Make him look at you and talk to him and let him know that you won't give in to him and that he needs to tell you what he wants like a big boy.

Hi K., I'm a mother of three and 30yrs old. I just want to say,what your 2yr old is going through is normal. My son Kamryn who is now three didn't talk until his third birthday. I thought something was wrong with him, cause from the age one until the age three all he who do is mummer. So don't worry everything is fine. P.S. is normal for him to be jealous, because Kamryn is jealous of my 1month old Melanie. Good luck