My Almost 10 Year Old Won't Stay in Bed

I agree with the others, where she just may need some extra attention right now. If the other kids are older than she is, it may be because they are awake and she isn't..that sort of thing. When I was a kid I always felt I had to fight my sister for my moms attention, even though she always gave the same to the both of us. Did this problem just start recently? If so, maybe she is having problems at school also. Like with her friends, or even work? I understand what it is like to be a working mom too though. Good luck with everything! You sound like a great mom.

Since she's 10 she should be old enough to tell you about it if you asked her why she always gets up. Ask her when you're not in the middle of it. Also, go through the check list of all the things before she gets into bed, "gone to the bathroom? Got a drink of water? Anything you need to tell me?"

the flip side is that she may be needing a little attention. Maybe spend 5-10 minutes every night to talk to her and focussed time on her.

Hi J., I agree with johanna, spend that little bit of cuddle time. I do this every night with my two girls and they love it, they will say to me mom you will be coming in to cuddle. so its something they look forward to.in todays society we focus so much on work, house friends ect. but we sometimes forget to just stop for a moment and realize they still need time just alone.we all are so consumed with schedules,schools,work. and everything that we are always rushing around. it sounds like even though it might be negative attention by getting into trouble she is still getting your attention.so it sounds to me she is wanting more of you. your house hold sounds kinda like mine we have 4 cats a pet rat 4 hermit crabs and 2 fish and 2 beautiful daughters that i cherish so much. mom just give her some more one on one and i am sure you will see the difference. just remember she is also coming into the stage of preteen. and they are going to really need you good luck to you and your precious daughter~L.~

I've found that if you spend 10 or 15 minutes sitting on your childs bed and letting them tell you about there day helps them get everything off there mind and fall asleep better. It gives them some time with just you and if they're laying down while they get to talk to you it tires there brain a bit so its easier for them to sleep. Or try reading a story with her before bed and have her read part of it to you. reading statistically tires the eyes and helps them to sleep better as well. Hope these ideas help you. They work for me and my children. their minds are active and just need a chance to wear down before sleepy sleep.

Here's an idea I've heard of: give her bedtime passes. Give her one or two of them. She can use them each night to get that last drink of water, that last hug, whatever. After she's used them all she has to stay in bed. BUT if she doesn't use any of them, she can turn them in the next morning for some little prize/reward. You know how kids are, it doesn't have to be anything huge or expensive. Or maybe she could save them up for a special treat, like going out to lunch with you or something. Hope this helps.

I would say there is probly a mixture of two reasons for this. One, she wants to avoid laying in bed by herself waiting to go to sleep... probly due to anxiety if she's anything like I was at her age. I had, and still have at times, a very bad way of "thinking about the negative"... when I was laying in bed at night, I would constantly think about and even picture, our house being broke into and us being killed, the house starting on fire and someone dying, etc. All the bad things. To the point that if I didn't find a reason to be up, I would lay there and cry myself to sleep. You think you would know if your child was doing this, but trust me, my parents... who were good parents and paid attention most of the time, etc... had no idea. I just told my mom a few years ago and I'm 28! That wasn't until I virtually had to tell her because my son was born and it all started again, but with my infant son.
Two, she wants attention. I also have 4 kids. If they're all going to bed at the same time, your child knows that if she gets up at that point, she doens't have to compete with anyone for attention... no being interupted, you're not doing something for someone else, etc.
My advice would be to make it a nightly routine to spend 10-15 minute with her when she goes to bed... just lay with her, get her calm and thinking positive, and give her some one on one attention. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you starve your kids for affection or attention. But it might help.
On top of that, make it VERY clear that no one is allowed up after a certian point. I give my kids a 15 min. and 5 min. warning before quiet time starts... at 15 min it's time to go get their pjs on... at 5 min, they better have bathroom trips, water trips, etc. done and be heading to bed and they have no excuse to get up again.
Hope this helps.
P.S... my daughter is 11 and does the same thing if she's allowed. I thought the same thing too... "not out of an 11 year old"... my 7 year olds go to bed and I don't hear them again till morning!

I came from a family of 4 kids I had three bros and I often got forgotten in the bedtime rounds by my mom and I use to do what your daughter is doing some of the things I did like was when my mom would have group story time and she would read us chapters from books like Island of the blue dolpin or call of the wild. then at least I got some attention befor bed I am sure it is alot of work and very frustrating when you just want some alone time before you go to bed but she may just need a little extra soon you won't be able to tuck her in or get a kiss good night so cherish it while you can
oh yeah and super nanny is a quack that doesn't even have kids she is there to get ratings and we only see the kids at the end of the week not one month after when the kids go back to there old habits cause there not on tv any more she doesnt love your kids or any one elses so I really wouldn't trust her.

I agree that she may be doing this to get attention. I will also ask if bedtime has become a power struggle with angry words? Kids need to feel that they have some power and this may be her way of getting that feeling. I bedtime routine that includes making her feel special is a good idea.

Any change will take time. I do like SuperNanny but I also agree that we don't see the long range results. The techniques will only be successfull if they are consistently used always for a long period of time.

Good luck! M.

After reading some of the other responses I also agree that she may be fighting sleep because she's anxious or doesn't like being alone. Have you tried playing soft music or a book on tape or CD? That gives her something other than her thoughts and feelings to focus on. It works for my grandchildren. A night light helps too.

I have a 7 Year old Step-Daughter who does the exact same thing. Always stalling. She gets to the point however where she will start throwing tempertantrums to stay awake. We have started putting her in the corner until she is ready to go to bed. The first couple of times was rough cuz she cried the whole time but now as soon as she starts stalling she gets put in the corner until she is ready for bed, and her stays in the corner have decreased rapidly.

Pree teen she needs you..have a day just you 2 to go to her beed room and look around and say would u like us to give you'r bed room a make over. Make her bed the mane idea in the room just go wild on putting prittys up vanidy..or what she is in to.Get creative on framing the bed. I think she will be proud of her area.I also at that age wanted to fall a sleep with music (not loud)

You will probably find out a few things about her and bond

Have fun on your girls day.....tell me how it goes

T.