P. K.
There is a Great Book Called:
"REAL BOYS" written by William Pollack,Ph.D.(He is a Clinical Psychologist a nd the co-Director for the Center for Men at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical School etc. etc.)
However, I purchased his book when I divorced my first husband and my now 19 year old, who was 11years old at the time, decided to get angry and start sassing me, he was taller than I even then (I am 5'5"- he was 6 ft)BUT... I KNEW I HAD to MATINTAIN MY LEVEL OF DISAPLINE.
At nine years old that boy is still a baby, he SHOULD NOT BE IN THAT MUCH TROUBLE.
Find out what he is Angry about. He could just be trying anything to get your attention. Some kids will try to get BAD ATTENTION if that is the ONLY time they get attention.
Examine YOUR PART in HIS BEHAVIOR---BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF--take ownership, especially if you really want him to!
How does his father or the male role model of the house act?
If there is NOT a male role model then their is part of the problem. Not to say that women can't do it all but we need to ALLOW the GOOD MALE INFLUENCE in.
Setting Limits from birth is best. But if you find your in this situation then you NEED to take DRASTIC MEASURES NOW TO CORRECT YOUR LENIENCY IN THE PAST.
It is NOT being to harsh to expect our children to mind what we tell them and to act right in public and to NOT hurt people who do not have the wear with all about them.
STOP BABYING THE BOYS THEY WILL BE MEN ONE DAY!
Think about the man in your life or the man you would like in your life. Now, think about how we (women-as a whole) get mad at the men because of something THEIR mother did not teach them! Remember you are the TEACHER! SO TEACH!
This book gives you different situations and answers.
It is most often ANGER about something, and usually when both boys and girls are not kept after or are ALLOWED TO GET AWAY WITH....THEN THE TROUBLE STARTS.
As parents,some feel it is better for FREE REIGN. This however, displays a level (unconsciously) that we as Parents don't think the child is WORTH THE TROUBLE--Hence,WE DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT THEM TO TAKE THE TIME! RESULT---they feel UNLOVED. Ask them and they most likely will NOT say that but as you HEAR them talk read between the lines.
After you have figured out what you did wrong or the other people in his life. Figure out what PUNISHMENTS you will give out for EACH INFRACTION (violation, then sit the child down.
Let the child KNOW you have let him down by not being strict enough. Let him know you are a Parent NOT GOD, so you will make mistakes, one being allowing him to get to this point.
Then tell him how much you love him and what the NEW RULES of the house as well as EVERY WHERE HE GOES. As well as the PUNISHMENTS for each violation. And how you will carry that out. (Now if your a single parent as I was--I told him I had people REPORTING TO ME who were WATCHING TOO)--I also, made it a rule that if they TELL ON THEMSELVES--THEY WILL NOT GET INTO TROUBLE OR DEPENDING ON THE SEVERITY--GET A LIGHTER SENTENCE---HEY JUST LIKE THE JUDGE THEY WILL NEVER HAVE TO STAND BEFORE IN A COURT ROOM---GET IT?!!
WHY do so many women/men feel it is OK to let SOMEONE else do the work that was intended for us? We have to take back OWNERSHIP. We bring these beautiful tiny people into the world and then by our lack of knowlege allow them to ruin their lives? BUT as in the Court of Law, IGNORANCE is NO excuse. There are tons of books to help us, like the one mentioned.
Sometimes we go so far away from how we were raised that we are into Unchartered(without regulation; lawless) Territory (An area for which a person is responsible as a representative)...and we do not realize the outcome.
But there is ALWAYS time to turn around and MAKE THINGS RIGHT.
Don't wait, the child will only get WORSE.
THE PEOPLE WHO TAKE A BLIND EYE WILL ONE DAY SEE THAT THIS IS A TRUE STATEMENT & Probably with their own children. You will not be able to go back in a few years. And if you WAIT for them to GROW OUT OF IT. You are KIDDING YOURSELF and Not taking Ownership for the PROBLEM.
It may be harsh to hear it but it is a FACT.
Pull up your bootstraps and take the good child back before his is lost forever!!!
I wish you the best of luck and those reading this too.
I am so amazed at how wide spread this problem is.
Realize the POLICE--FOUGHT-- to get the PARENTS RIGHTS RESTORED TO THEM---This does NOT MEAN you can BEAT THEM UP, BUT... A SPANKING WILL NOT HURT THEM!!!
Police had so many problems and still do, because EVERYONE IS AFRAID to DISAPLINE their own children.
Hence, the child does NOT LISTEN, AT HOME OR IN THE WORLD TO ANY AUTHORITY FIGURE.
This Crazy movement by some people who did not like getting a spanking for their own indiscretions (An indiscreet act or remark), tried to CHANGE THE WORLD. And LOOK AT THE WORLD NOW!
We are in a sad state of affairs, on our conduct, behavior, attitudes, living, morals you name it.
BUT MY POINT IS...IT ALL STARTS AT HOME.....THINK ABOUT YOUR KIDS MISBEHAVING AND HOW THEY WOULD RULE THE WORLD WITH that ATTITUDE.
SEE HOW SOME OF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE NOT BROUGHT UP BETTER RULED AND RUINED THE WORLD!! HITLER IS ONE, CAN YOU THINK OF OTHERS?
I CAN......YES THIS IS RELEVANT TO THE TOPIC AT HAND BECAUSE IT IS AN EXAMPLE--A HARSH ONE---BUT AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT CAN HAPPEN IF WE DO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR OWN ACTIONS.
C.
