My 9 year old boy is basically very shy. He has been hearing grown up words at the pool by seniors. I often noticed him going into the room and locking himself with the excuse of reading. Everything was smooth until one day I noticed lot of adult videos in the iPod YouTube history! I happened to catch him one day, he was terrified and wanted 5 minutes. ( he wanted to clear the history). I felt it was too early, but I had to talk to him. I told him this is he time to grow ith friends and have fun and not for the other things. I assured him to keep his secret and he could talk to me. He confessed that a friend at he pool was talking a lot about stripping and he decided to fndout more.
Though I managed the situation, I am feel like headless chicken. We have just moved into the country. Along with the culture shock, I am faced with this situation. I would really appreciate expert advice.
Thanks
This exact thing is why i feel that a 9 year old has no business with a phone or Ipod. no computer in the bedroom, no video game in the bedroom. All of those types of things which enable them to be connected to a million weirdo's shoudl be in the living room where you have full access to what they are watching / doing. .
Children should never be unattended with the internet! Especially a 9 year old! Watch him!
If you go to XXXchurch.com you can download software for free that will send you an e-mail every couple of weeks listing any questionable sites that have been viewed. It won't matter if he tries to delete the history, you'll still know about it.
I know I'm a little late on this, but it sounds like the computer is in his room. I don't even let my 12yo girl have a computer in her room. We have one out in the family room that she can use. Any one walking by can see what she is doing on it. Its so dangerouse letting them have computers in their rooms, or a place where they can't be supervised well. Sure, you can get different blocks and passwords for different things, but what about all the child "safe" web sites that sick adults go on to posing as children and then you get into a whole mess of other situations that you don't want to be in.
I guess as moms we hope that it is just curiousity but sometimes it ends up being more as they get older. I would put a safety net on the computer right now and not allow the computer near any room that you are not near by. I don't think kids should be on a computer alone in their room or away from the heart of the family just so we can see what is happening.
It is great that you can talk to him. I think the discussions should continue and keep him on track when he plays at friends. Don't loose the communication. Your doing a good job.
The computer needs to be in a central location where you can peep in on whatever he happens to be looking at at any time - do not allow the computer in a bedroom! There are also plenty of parental control software programs out there as well.
He needs to know that it is normal to be curious and he did not do anything wrong, but maybe it's time to start having a talk about what is appropriate for children and what is meant only for adults.
Safe Eyes is another good parental control site, it will email you as soon as someone tries to enter a site that is inappropriate. my mom has it on her computer and i couldn't even go onto Dicks sporting goods site! You also have to have an account to view adult content videos on youtube so how did your son get on. check that out. i feel for you I have 3 boys and I know my day will come hopefully not soon though. May God give you strength and knowledge in dealing with this issue.
Hi M. B.
My son is 14 and I keep parental controls on the computer and YouTube is a blocked website. As are many others. I explained to him that there is just too much stuff that he doesn't need to see and it is my job to "police" those sites for him. I mean really, you can type "funny cat videos" into YouTube and get breasts!
Your son is normal and really not too young to begin showing this type of curiosity. My boy is actually was little behind the curve because I have been sheltering him from some things. But, mine, like yours, hears about these things from friends. So we talk about it - what his friends are viewing, why they want to see it, what is appropriate for their age, and what is respectful to others. When his friends come over they know that YouTube is blocked and certain TV shows are "banned" and they accept the rules and I have explained why these things are not available at my house. One of friends, way advanced for their age, actually told me that he never thought of it that way and it now better "policing" himself on YouTube.
Open communication is key here - don't censure him for looking - give him you honest opinion about these types of videos - an opinion from a woman - why they are disrespectful to women and why you do not want him to view them. Understand that an interest in the opposite sexes bodies is normal but teach him boundaries. I have done all that - plus I just blocked the websites. LOL
You are on the right path with your response to the videos. These are not the easiest years in parenting, but I think they are the best years for building an open, honest, bond with our children.
We use OpenDNS to monitor our computer. Also, our internet connected computer is in the living room and for the time being it is off limits to my children ages 3, 5, & 10. OpenDNS Basic is free.
I am shocked that your 9 year old son is watching stripping videos! I have a 7 y/o and I would be very upset if he was doing this in 2 short years! I can't believe your son knows how to clear the history! How did he learn how to do that? One thing's for sure - he is very smart. 9 years old is way too young to lose his innocence. I'm not sure what you should do - maybe don't let him hang out w/ these bad influences, but you can't control it at school. Take his ipod and all other electronic devices away from him and keep a close eye on him! So sorry!
