My 8 month old daughter seemed to be on the path of sleeping through the night. She would go to bed around 8pm or so and wake up once around 4am to eat, and then she'd go back to sleep. She sleeps with a pacifier and wasn't having too many episodes of us having to go put it back in if she spit it out while sleeping.
Now, in the last couple of weeks, we've been putting her to bed around 7 (she's tired at this time) and she'll wake up at 11:30, 12:30, 1:30, etc... The first couple of times she wakes up we put the pacifier back in and she goes back to sleep but around 1:30 or so she's now wanting to eat. We tried letting her cry it out (and coming back in at 5 min, then 10 min, etc.) and she just screamed louder and louder. It was heartbreaking and VERY stressful. Let's just say that because we couldn't yell at our daughter, my husband and I were yelling at each other at 3am about what to do. Not so fun.
Do you have any thoughts about this backsliding of sleep habits? What's causing it, what to do? I"m open to about anything except the total cry it out method. I just can't listen to her scream for an hour or more.
Thank you to everyone who shared your ideas and experiences. We decided to go cold turkey on taking away the pacifier and do a graduated cry-it-out (coming back in 5, 10, 15 minutes). The first night was pretty awful. She screamed off and on from 1:30 until about 4, but the last two nights, she's gone to bed without much fuss and has only woken up once each time, eaten, and gone back to sleep! Naps take a bit longer, but I think we're on a good path here. Yay!
She may well be teething or learning to crawl/walk. Those are disruptive things to her system and waking is how she's coping with it.
Teething and growth spurts can change sleep patterns temporarily. Unfortunately, they have different solutions. Meds of some kind help teething, and feeding helps with growth spurts. Also, she's at an age where if she can sit herself up in bed, and she may want to just play!. Try to figure out the problem, take care of it with the least stimulation for her, (no smiles or eye contact, no talking to her except shushing, no lights, no picking her up). Attach her binky with a clip so she can get it herself, and show her how to do it. (She gets louder and louder each time you come in because you picked her up and soothed her in the past, so when you come in and DON'T do it, she ups the volume and intensity. You taught her this, so unteaching it may require earplugs for awhile.) Whatever it is, it won't last long. Good luck.
We have twins, so I can more than relate to the lack of sleep and the stress it can cause. First, when you guys are awake and feeling ok, talk through this. You need to be on the same page and know what is expected from each other and in agreement as to how the situation should be handled. This will minimize the late night, sleep exhaustion fights.
As for problem solving, there are a million reasons this could be happening. Like others said growth spurts (your baby may truly be hungry), teething, earaches, developmental milestones and mental processing, etc, etc. The key is to figure out what it is: check to see what resolves things the fastest. Don't forget to watch for temperature, comfort, light levels, and other disturbances. With my daughter who is 8 months old, we have gone from her sleeping through the night (11 pm to 8 or 9 am) to her waking at 1 am, 3 am, 7 am. It was very frustrating, but when I noticed how much she was nursing, I realized she was simply hungry and I let go of stress. We put her crib mattress on the floor with a modified bumper around it so I could lay in bed with her and nurse her and sleep until she was done and then I could go take care of her brother or go back to bed. If I tried nursing her and then putting her down, she suddenly has gone from rolling to her side and going to sleep, she now will scream on top of her lungs. So laying with her was the easiest. With my son he does not sleep well and never has. Due to pure exhaustion, he ended up sleeping in our bed so I could nurse him through out the night. Eventually he started sleeping better and more soundly after he passed through the never ending growth spurt. Now I nurse him and once he is asleep, I lay him in the play pen (he is a super climber and it's the safest place for him at night). He will roll over and sleep well for 3-4 hours on good nights which is better than 1-2 hour stretches. Having him in his own space has helped since he is a light sleeper and no one is waking him with movement. He is free to spin around, toss and turn and move all over without falling out of bed, waking us or himself and when he does wake up, he can't climb out and fall over the railing since he will wake silently and start to climb before he makes a sound sometimes. He wants to nurse endlessly and will do it simply for comfort. One thing we found out was that if I try to rock him or hold him, he will wake more expecting to nurse. If my husband picks him up and walks around, he goes right back to sleep if not truly hungry and can be put back to bed in a few minutes rather than me being up for 1/2 hour or more.
Hang in there! It is doable, and you will get past this adjustment.
My son did the same thing exact thing. It wasn't teething and he is in a constant growth spurt. He is a large baby and hasn't stopped getting bigger.
Pretty much you have to find what works for you. For me it was when he woke up to rub his cheek or arm while singing abc's which got back to bed. And then when I was ready to go to bed, and he always woke up right then, he'd just accompany me. After about a week or so, I would just do the sing and rub thing to get him to stay in his crib and it worked. Sometimes I think babies just need some lovin even while asleep.
P.s I know that maybe that yelling at each other could turn into a fun make up sex type deal. Perhaps that could help out with the tension. I know it's no fun at all!!
Is she teething? My kids' sleep habits got worse and worse when new teeth were popping in. And the molars were a nightmare. I wound up caving at that point. Whatever it took to get them to sleep again (teething tablet and the like didn't do much for my kiddos). If they wanted to eat, so be it. Nursing seemed like the only thing that soothed mine, so I became the human pacifier for a while. The good news is, once the teeth came through they went back to sleeping better. I don't have any sage advice, but hang in there mama!!
This is totally normal. I always found with my three boys that they stopped sleeping well at 8 or 9 months and it went on for about 6-8 weeks. Horrible. It was a very stressful time for us. The books and my experience put it down to both teething and developmental stuff. The changes you will see in the next three months will take your child from baby to toddler. It's incredible how much they change between 8 or 9 months and 11 or 12 months. I'm not a fan of co-sleeping at all, but with all my children, we ended up taking them into bed with us just to get some sleep! With my twins I always put them back again once they fall asleep so they won't get used to it and also because my first was such a horrible sleeper that I ended up co-sleeping with him most nights until his molars came in fully at 17 months. Ugh. Don't want that again! Anyway, just do what you can to get the most sleep. You can change bad habits later when everyone is more rested and things are less stressful. I think if they start out in their own bed, they don't exactly expect to sleep with you in the night, but that's just my opinion. Good luck and hang in there! It will end soon and you will look back and think that it wasn't that long at all even though it feels like a lifetime at the moment!
Unfortunately you are not going to like my answer, but I went through this with BOTH my daughters :( With my first one we did ther Ferber method(going in every 5, 10 ,etc until we hit 30 min) It was awful! But there are a few tricks that people forget to tell you. First of all it is imperative that ONLY ONE of you does this each night. You have to take turns by night if not she will realize that "if I keep crying daddy will come in next time" Also you can only be in the room for 30secs. to a minute TOPS. And try not to talk to her, just rub her back or belly. If it is possible for the one who is not tending to her to leave the house that will help with arguing. I can't tell you how many 3am store runs my husband made. Also a sound machine has helped soothe both our girls.
We did this with our oldest and it tood 13days!! It was pure hell! But after the first couple of days it did get easier because it did not take as long, but let me tell you, that first night she cried for over 5 hours!! and she would cry so hard that she would throw up. I would change her sheets around her as to not "disturb" the routine. She is 5 now and sleeps like a champ. She goes to bed at 745 and I have to wake her up at 7 am for school. She can sleep through just about anything too.
My second is almost 2 and still gets up 4 to 5 times a night!! She too has the paci and would lose it and wake up wanting it. I did not do the Ferber thing with her because I did not want her to wake her sister so I would just go and give her her paci and put her back. BIG MISTAKE!! Now she is in a big girl bed so she gets out and I have to fight to get her back in bed and at this age she wants to stay awake and play. Also, I can not get that paci away from her. If I could go back and Ferberize her I would!! I have started by making sure that she is safe in her room and shutting the door and letting her cry, but believe me it is soooooo much harder now than it was when my oldest was little. My suggestion would be to see if you can get some help such as your mother or mother in law to come and take one of the first shifts. For whatever reason it seems to be easier for them. and just stick to it. As difficult as it is, it truly is worth it. I spent 2 weeks sleeping on the floor in front of her door. Just remember that she is in her crib and she is safe and she will NOT remember any of this!!! I would also try and get the paci away now. It is much easier now than later. I think cold turkey is the way to go for that.
Good luck!
I was also going to ask about teething... That can upset a sleep pattern. I don't have specific suggestions - except to commiserate - with my first I thought that as soon as she figured out how to sleep through the night that it was then a done deal. Nope. Sleeping through the night is something that varies for years. (If they are teething, if they get sick, when the light changes due to the season, if you go on a trip.... etc.)
I have gone the method of helping them get back to sleep ASAP - without listening to them cry for hours. When older than 14 months or so, then more crying is OK - still not hours though....
Just my 2 cents. I feel for you. This too shall pass!
It could be any one of a million things, even something really simple. Is your baby sleeping on one of those "rubber" mattresses? Because mine is (darn it, I wish I had reseached that more before I bought it!) and it's HOT sleeping on those things. I wasn't thinking about that, tried to save on electricity and bumped the thermostat up just a tad at night. This coincided with my 6 month old beginning to wake up at night when she had been sleeping thru. Unfortunately it took me 2 weeks to figure it out. Ugh. Good luck, parenting at this age is so hard...everything is a mystery and once you get it figured out it's on to something else!
