I have a little girl that is turning seven in a few week's. I have been having a really rough time with her the last year or so with acting out. She has touble listening and can be really direspctful at times. I undrestand some of this is normal as she tries to gain some indapendence. My problem is that I feel as though I am walked all over, and am tired of it. Any suggestions? I try My best to stick to my guns, as that is hard for me to do. I alway's think there is a reason she is acting this way. But most of it comes when she is asked to clean up after herself, like most children have to do. Right??? Thank you so much for any feed back.
P.S. With this usually comes big temper fit's as well.
My son is doing the same thing. Be consistant. Usually, if I tell him what I expect of him he behaves better. i don't know how to stop the disrespectfulness. any answer out there.
Hi R.,
My name is M.. I can relate to your problem with you 7 yr old Daughter. I have a 9 yr old Daughter plus two younger boys.
My Daughter use to do & act out like your Daughter does, Now that my Daughtr is 9, She does not act out or disrespect me.It is normal too. Here is what I did. I registered online with the Dr.Phil web cite & bought Dr. Phils book (FAMILY FIRST). That book was a true blessing for me and my family. Also, Try taking toys, Cd's, Sleep overs, outting with friends. Really anything that your Daughter will hate having taking away as punishment. Make her earn them back.
as Dr.Phils says; Hit them where it hurts.
It truely worked for me hopefully for you too. Good Luck.
You say it's mainly when you ask her to pick up? It sounds like maybe she's ready for some "adult" responsibility. I believe in kids that age, they can help out with house chores. Pick up these. Help fold laundry. Vacuum. Whatever. I'm not saying to work your child like a mule, but give her some responsibility. And with those adult like chores. Give her some adult like rewards. If your not giving her an allowance, maybe that could help. When she does the things that your asking her to do. Let her know your appreciation of her cooperation by "reward." It's not bribing and it's not fighting. I think it's a good middle ground.
Hi R.,
I have a 10 year old son that can give me a pretty hard time. My strong willed child. I have found that if I give him little things to do in the home that makes him feel imortant or useful, it helps him a lot. It calms him down and he seems happier. Little things like helping me grate cheese for dinner. Or letting him set the table and teach him how to handle my pretty dishes. Riding bikes or walking with him. You'd be amazed at how things like that just help comfort a child. Helps make them content. Or even playing together while you help to clean thier room. Don't do it all, but sing songs or tell jokes or just let your child talk your head off even when your tired, while you help clean their room. Or just sitting in the sa,e room with them while they complete something, telling them what a great job they are doing.
Also at night when he is asleep, I go in and pray over him. That God would not remove that strong will because I know it will come in useful for him someday. But that God would help me shape that strong will in the right way. I pray for a change in my child's behavior towards things he doesn't want to do or doesn't like. I pray for a special bond between us where he learns to trust in the things I teach him.
I have good days and bad, but when I concentrate on it, he does so much better.
If you have any questions or want me to pray with you for strength, let me know.
-D.
I have the same problem my daughter wuill be seven in November abd she has the biggest attitude. She can be so disrespectful somtimes. I also have an eight year old and it seems like all my attention is always on her because of her outburst's. I can totally relate. Let me know if you have any suigestions K.
Many ? for you. What have you tried? What worked? What didn't work? And remember what worked at 5 will not work at 7. Does your husband back you? Do you back him?
My children have learned to move at my first asking. If they don't they get this look. If for some odd reason they don't get moveing to do whatever if may be-that's ok. Why? I take all of their things and give them away or they have to buy it back.
My children have to buy their own toys and games so this hurts alot to loose something just because they did not clean up.
Come to a place where you no longer have to yell and scream. I was raised by a yeller and screamer and went to counsiling for help. WONDERFUL help.
Basicly you ask them to do whatever it may be, if they him-and-ha, count 1-2, slowly when little (when bigger it is funny to do it fast and see them move), then ask them "Do you understand that I will...(explain your punishment plan) when I get to 3." Talk about it, hug and kiss about it, then start again. And do whatever your punishment is. If you can't handle do whatever it may be- pick some thing else. It has to be painful for the child (I am not talking about beatings. I am talking TV, toys, (never take away meals, they have to eat)and don't wait for dad. He will have his own way and hopefully it is as good as yours. If mom or dad is not crossing the line of disipline, then stay out of each others way and support the other.
I have three boys. The older one took more training. The second one was a little quicker. And the third one is still in training. But for the most part, it just takes a look.
Always stay calm. When they through a fit, stop a breath. So much of the time they just want to be with us. So race them to see who can pick up the most dirty shirts, who can make a basket with underware (I have boys) from the doorway. Pretty so you can excuse yourself to finish dishes or whatever and they will finish.
At 7 or older you can have written agreements about rule and consquences. Having them sign with you. Bring it to their attention as needed.
Good Luck
M.
YOU HAVE TO BE FIRM. If you say, "Go to your room," make her go. If you say, "No, you can't have any candy right now," don't let her have any, no matter what kind of tantrum she throws. If you give in each time she has one or even only sometimes, she will learn that she can get what she wants by simply throwing a tantrum. You have to stick to your guns or this problem behavior will never go away. When she acts up, immediately send her to the corner or her room, whichever is how you discipline. If she gets out, put her back. If she throws a fit, let her; just remind her that the clock does not start until she is properly taking her timeout. The timeout should only last seven minutes (one minute for each year of age), but if she is throwing a fit, it could last a few hours. I have had to do this with a couple of my kids, but it did work. It just takes time. Good luck!
I have a seven year old daughter that was the same way. We (my husband and I) did what Dr. Phil suggested, and went back to tha basics. She had to help us box everything in her room up exept for her bed and dresser and put in away. Now, whenever her behavior is good, she earns some of her things back. We had tried everything to get her to be respectful and not hurtful of everyone else, and this seems to be working very well so far. Good luck!
Yeah I understand what you are going through...My Oldest son just turned 7 in August. He would tell me he hates me, write me naughty notes. Throw stuff back in my face about things I have asked him to do.
Their father and I are divorced and I have noticed that he tries to be more of a buddy than a Dad and allows him to make decisions when the adult should be making them for him. If you allow a kid to make adult decisions or choices they'll start to push you around. Me, I don't tolerate it. I remind him that he is a Little Boy and that is how he will be treated, as a child.
Usually by this time he becomes upset throws a fit and is sent to his room.. Your daughter needs to realize that SHE IS A CHILD and NOT AN ADULT...Otherwise this will continue.
I really think that are children are best friends!! Mabey they play at school together. lol,lol,lol.... I know how you feel my daughter has been the same way for about 6 months now. I just stick to her punishment and thats it. If i dont follow through then she thinks its ok. Just stick to your guns and hopfully they will grow out of it.
