My 7-Yr-old's Attitude!

My sister and her daughter had this same problem. It ended up being a boy bullying her at school. There is something that is going wrong with her but she is just not able to express it properly. My sister had to ask her daughter every day for a least a week before she told her the truth. My niece told the teacher repeatedly and the teacher did nothing. So my niece just thought that no one would help her. My suggestion is to keep asking questions as to why she might be behaving this way.

Maybe you need to sit with her to see why she is acting that way and take her to counselor for children as she may tell her what is wrong.

Thank you,
K.

As miserable as your daughter is making those around her, she is feeling that herself. Please get some counseling and find out what is going on with her. It is possible that she is terrific at your mother's home because she gets her way or because there are no demands being placed on her, but then again, your mother may actually listen to her and give her something she needs emotionally. You could have her tested and that might give you a lot of insight into what is happening with her. If it is determined that she needs medication, wouldn't that be better than her acting out all of the time? Your little girl is screaming for help, please be sure she gets it!

sounds like your mother has all the answers you need.
Without your daughter around, sit down and talk to your mother at length about this and find out why she is able to maintain a proper behavior with your daughter. And REALLY listen. It may be something key that you are just not realizing. JF

I have a 7-year-old that loves to test the waters. She is in a gifted resource program (which means she is pulled from mainstream class). Both of those teachers and her after care counselor have come to me about her attitude. Here are a few suggestions:

1)As far as the morning drama: move her bedtime up and make her more responsible in the mornings. After my daughter had to go to school a couple of times with "morning" breath or her hair not brushed, she quickly pulled the morning thing together!

2)Request that her doctor run a physical and get her eyes, teeth and blood checked. She could just possibly not be feeling well. Maybe some electrolytes are off that can be fixed with diet or vitamins.

3)Talk to your daughter about school. Maybe she is being bullied by someone and lashes back on others. Maybe she doesn't feel safe there.

Please don't run to put her on meds. That's just a band-aid. Get down to the real issues.

I would have her see a child psycologist. This could be the way she is expressing something that happened to her or a fear that she has. Its probably a symptom of a larger problem that you are not aware of that is bothering her. It will be a process for her to learn to trust her doctor, but I would stick it out and see what you find. I know this has to be so hard for you when the school tells you "deal with her". Keep on loving and you'll figure it out, sometimes tough love is the best but also the hardest.

Usually i'm an advocate for medication when children are add or adhd, but I'm not so sure that is your daughter's problem. Children with ADD and ADHD who have behavior problems typically have them in all situations and places. Being that your daugher doesn't have them while with your mother may mean that there are other issues at play that may be worked out with therapy. I would probably try that first, but testing her for other disorders is always an option.

A.,

As a counselor, I would first ask when this behavior started and when is it at it's worst. What is happening at school that is possibly prompting her to want to avoid it? How does she get along with her teacher? Are there students or other adults that she tries to avoid? Something is going on for her to start acting like this now. Figure out what it is!Tell your child how much you love her and encourage her to tell you why she is so angry at school. Tell her that you know that she can be such a good girl and is better then this. At the same time, do not allow her to get away with poor behavior in your home. In other words, I would never encourage you to enable her poor behavior. You just need to know what is causing this. 7-yr-olds have difficulty expressing their feelings/fears into words. Help her to talk with her grandmother if she doesn't feel that she can talk with you. I encourage you to find a good counselor if this maladaptive behavior continues. She needs to talk with someone unbiased. Find someone who specializes in working with children, if needed. Good luck! I will pray for you!

K.
Mother of three

this is beyond typical attitude - this has gone on long enough - you need to get a professional involved. Not necessarily meds, but a counselor that specialized in youth behavior issues. They can work with her AND you to give you advise on how to handle this behavior. Your school is being negligent by not providing the assistance she needs (they have an obligation to educate her and if emotional problems are interfering with her ability to be educated, then they have an obligation to provide counseling/assistance.) However, if they are not then you MUST.

A.,
It almost sounds like your daughter may have some sensory issues. Has she ever:
Covered her ears because of certain sounds
Have difficulty with different textured clothing
Difficulty bathing, brushing teeth
Doesn't like to be hugged
Have difficulty in crowds (ie. resteraunts, birthday parties)
Does she drink a lot of milk, or eat a lot of dairy products
(ie. cheese, yogurt, pudding, ice cream)
If you can answer yes to some of these questions or if she does other things that most children don't do, then write me back and I can give you some ideas of what to do. She sounds like most of the children that I treat with sensory processing issues.
Hope I can help,
L. Malagarie

Check out her school environment and her teachers..my ten year old down's syndrome daughter, who could not talk, started coming home and fighting with me, and throwing temper tantrums, she was acting completely berserk. We had her on ritalin and adderall, and even some anti-depressant drugs and she was seeing a pschriatrist. I decided to switch her schools to one where I had heard the teacher was extra good. It saved both of us from going crazy. I later found out that the "so-called" teacher that she had at the first school was paddling her for asking questions in sign language, [she said my daughter was interrupting her class]. That was just part of what was going on. The second teacher [who I call "our angel"] did so much good for my daughter, that she is not on any medications at all for behavior and is graduating from high school this next week. Her behavior turned completely around with the love and devotion of this great woman.

Check out Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey from the library. They're incredibly helpful.

Good luck!

I am a 48 year old mother of 6 year old twin boys. Some of the same behavior problems you are describing fits one of my twins perfectly. Last fall he was diagnosed with ADHD. The pediatrician prescribed a low dose time release medicine in the morning and a dose of the same thing except half the strenght in the afternoon. It seems when we give it exactly as we are supposed to everything is peachy but let us miss and we have a terror more than before on our hands. The medicine is wonderful because it allows my child to be able to process things alot more and alot more easily. My question I guess is have you had your child tested for ADHD?

I would seek out a godly counselor. In the Bham Alabama we have a great resource with the Alabama Baptist Children's Home Counseling Center. It is open to everyone and they have dealt with moswt any issue. I strongly recommend them and if you are not in the area, email me at ____@____.com
and I will give you a phone number so you can talk to them and see if they have a recommendation for your area.
God bless you as you seek to resolve this issue!!
J.

If she doesn't act this way at your mother's, I would seek guidance from that lady, and follow it.

If your daughter wasnt this way before now maybe something traumatic happened to her and she hasnt or doesnt know how to tell you.I would definatetly try some kind of child counseling evaluation to see if that is why she is acting up.If she doesnt act like that at your mothers house-what is different there?does your mother use different approaches with her or discipline tactics?she might be acting out because of anxiety issues relating to school or things going on at school and with other kids.If you cant get specific answers as to why she is acting that way from her I would enlist the help of a child counselor.