Hi A.. I'm sorry your having to deal with this. You've been given some really good suggestions thus far. I wonder though, if perhaps he is needing the attention that hes getting for not turning in the work. I imagine that you must be VERY busy with 3 children under the age of three. Would it be possible for you and your husband to plan a date with your son to go out just the three of you to do something he likes? An activity that lets you communicate as opposed to something like a movie where there is little or no talking. Perhaps during the outting you can all stop by the store and let HIM pick out something the he feels will help him to stay organized and remeber to turn in his work. Its much more likely that he if picks it out, he will make the connection and remeber to turn it in. While your out with him you can talk about whatever he needs to talk about. You can let him know that you know its probably difficult to be the oldest of 4 kids in the house and that you are always there for him when he needs you.....and if he's feeling like he needs a little extra attention, that he can ask for it. Maybe 1 day a week you can sit down, mom, dad and son, and have a game night when the other kids are asleep. (I was the oldest so these are just my suggestions from my experience) My mom, every once in a while (or dad) would come in my room, super early (before everyone else was awake) and wake me up and we would sneak out and have an early morning breakfast together. It always made me feel SOOO special. I also believe in the reward system. I know you said you have tried that, but I would try again. I would help him to design a chart of some kind or get a fish bowl that you can put poker chips or pennies or something into. For each piece of homework he turns in,(not just for the day) He can mark the chart or put something in the bowl. If you do it by each piece turned in, its more enticing and more of a short term reward for him to see how much he's doing. You can take him to the store and give him a camera and let him take a picture of something he really, really wants. Hang the picture above the "homework tracker" so he remebers what hes working towards. Once he decides what he wants, sit down and figure out how many "turned in homeworks" it will take to get what he wants. It can't take TOO long or he wont feel like hes making any progress....and, let him know that for each piece of homework he dosent turn in, HE has to take out a chip/coin. You may want to give him 1 days worth of turned in homework chips to put in his bowl to get him started... and as a show of good faith and that you believe in him. I, personally, would start fresh. I know you said that you have taken all of his privileges and its not usually recommended to go back on that, but take the oppertunity to teach him about grace and forgiveness and mercy. Tell him your starting over, ONCE, and that IF his bowl ever ends up empty, he looses one privilege, and it takes X amount of chips to earn it back. I definitely think you should be in contact with his teachers and find out what homework he has turned in. It would be a waste of your breath at this age to try to explain to him how important good grades are and how important school is and that once hes in highschool, its gonna be a REALLY big deal. This is not something that means anything to him at this age. You have to speak to him in a way he understands..... Through stuff and privileges. I hope some of this helps...my little ones awake....Have a great day and good luck!