My 6 Year Old Won't Sleep by Herself!

My daughter is six also and I used to have the same problem. She has always had a night light in her room so her excuse was not that she was scared of the dark but simply that she wanted to be in the bed with me. She is very independent when it comes to everything else and strong minded. I informed her that only babies slept with their parents and that if she wanted to be treated like one, I most certainly had no problem doing that and explained to her how things like her independence would change. She would not get to choose when she wanted to be a "BIG GIRl" and when she did not. It's one or the other sweetheart and I will support you either way. She didn't have to think about it long before she decide she was going to be a "BIG GIRL". Now don't get me wrong she did try a few times after that conversation to sucker me into staying with her till she dosed off however a simply reminder of her decision and mentioning how proud I was of my Big Gril was all it took. Hope this helps!

I also broke the rule and then my son had a very difficult time sleeping alone.
It took a while to fix this problem, but it worked. I started with getting out of his bed and sitting in a chair next to his bed while he fell asleep. Then every night I scooted the chair about a foot or two towards the door until I sat in the hallway. (Make sure her bed can't see you in the hallway.) While sitting in the chair I wouldn't talk to him or do anything to give him attention. I might read a magazine or fold the laundry. Then I would get up and do quiet chores and come back after a little while to sit in the chair and get up again. Because my son was also an anxious kid, and be very fearful of monsters (etc.), I got him a special "Magic" box, that would hold his fears for him, while he slept. He would write down his fears (or draw a picture), fold it, staple it and tape it closed, quickly put it in the box, and lock it. As he got older, and he felt more confident, he took the scary notes that held his fears and burned them outside, in a special ceremony.
As for the getting into my bed at night, I told him he had to move to the floor. For the first few nights, I had set up an area that had a pillow and blanket that he could crawl into if he came in. I gave him instructions not to wake me up. Then I told him that he would need to bring his own pillow and blanket. Again, he was not to wake me up.
Lastly, set up a routine. That there is a certain time on the clock for story time, lights out time, good night kisses time and sleep time.
Good Luck! I hope this helps.

Try this. When she comes to your bed have a sleeping bag on the floor for her. Once she falls asleep, move her to her bed.
You can also add a reward chart for sleeping in her bed. Not coming to your room, etc...
Good luck

My husband is having this problem with our little girl as well. I work nights and when I'm at work she always comes in in the middle of the night and sleeps with him, along with her brother. But when I'm there she is able to sleep through the night. At first she would come in, and say she had a bad dream or some other excuse. But I wouldn't give in. I'd take her back to her room assure her that everything is okay and put her to bed. After a few times of this and my not giving in she knows that she can't get away with it when I'm home. With daddy on the other hand.....

i don't think there are any rules when it comes to parenting except that you do what your heart tells you when they are young. as they get older, definitely rules!
there is a book by dr. sears called nighttime parenting. it's mainly geared towards babies, but he does address toddler issues. one thing you could try is to tell her she has to go to sleep in her bed, but if she gets up in the middle of the night have a palate or sleeping back or something for her on the floor next to your bed and she can sleep in that. some kids really do have fears at night, bad dreams that make them afraid, etc...
hope that helps a little. she will grow out of it. it won't last forever. pray for patience and that God will give you an answer that comforts her and allows you to get the rest you need.
good luck.

Maybe she is afraid of the dark - common at this age. So, get creative and see what would help her - a special spray - maybe essential oils - I have heard a lot of good things about Kidz Karma sprays (I think that's the right spelling)which help to surely keep away the scaries! Nightlites are good but not if they cast shadows. You can have her come up with a song to sing that will help; you can tell her that you had the fairies come into her room and clear out anything/anyone scary, leaving a little pixy dust for proof, etc.....

Whether she is scared or she misses you, she clearly needs a little help here.

Many people I know have an open-bed law in their home for their kids and most kids seem to appreciate this when they are in need, and eventually, when they are "filled-up" or just not scared anymore, they don't want to sleep with Mom and Dad. Usually the way it works is to let them fall asleep in your bed and then pick them up while they are sound asleep and put them in their own bed to sleep the rest of the night. Also this includes any time during the night when they need to crawl in bed with you. It gives you more time but also lets your child know that you are there when they need you, whether soothing or just companionship at night.

hope these ideas help -

Good luck,
Alli

I had that problem and developed a rule that because I needed my sleep, I could not share the bed with my daughter. If she was afraid, she could bring her blanket and sleep on the floor next to me. That cured the problem eventually.

Hi C.,

I think you are experiencing what alot of us have gone through already and some still. For me the issue was the dark. Although keeping a light on would drive me crazy, for my son a night light does not bother him. In the beginning I would allow him to keep the side lamp on, then transistioned to a bathroom light on in the hall with the door cracked and eventually to a night light in the room. As long as he has some light. The other thing my husband and I discovered was cutting t.v during the week and limiting it to just weekends. We noticed a difference in his activeness at home and school and his bed time. By engaging him in a quiet activity 30 minutes or so before bed like reading a book or puttting together a puzzle, his mind could calm down.

Now, do not get me wrong, every now and then he gets up afraid. The important thing is to take him right back in the room without saying a word, kiss him and leave. I tell him the next morning that he needs to remember to say his prayers, because that is usually what he asks for.. to have good dreams and not bad. Amazingly it works, maybe because he feels that he has put it out there. You may not be into that. I tell him that the dark is his friend.

Now, the approach my friend took was bribery. Yes, if her son did not get up at night he received a sticker or a prize at the end of the week. That did not work for her at first. He was 4 going on 5. She used to make the mistake of letting him stay in the bed when he got there until dad said he had to go back upstairs. So, it worked after awhile when they began taking him straight upstairs to bed without engaging in any conversation.

When they would stay in their beds, we all make big deals out of it with praise and high fives.

I hope this helps!