H.B.
Her night wakings are completely normal, try not to compare to other babies that 'sleep longer, sounder, eat more/less' etc. Breastfed babies are generally on a healthier eating pattern of more frequent feeding as their food is more easily digested. Although this doesn't help your sleep, it is better and healthier for her. I commend you for many things... Sticking with breastfeeding, keeping your baby in the same room and NOT letting her cry. So many parents fall in the 'easy' parenting trap of not responding or forcing their baby's eating and sleep patterns to their own wants or conveniences. I almost might say that it isn't necessary to let her work into a full cry before you get her and feed her. If she's stirring and rooting/acting like she wants milk, why have her cry? This may end up creating a pattern of her feeling she always needs to full out cry to get your attention? If she is eating, she needs it..... Try not to be persuaded by well-meaning advisors saying that she is only manipulating you, hogwash.... Most babies should be eating throughout the night, but most are ignored or were 'trained' not to bother asking anymore since they were left to cry. I found that with my small girl....only barely 20 lb at 2 and only 30 lb at 4 that she woke more often to eat at night for longer ( probably almost 2 yrs) as compared to my son who is almost 2 now. She ate probably 2-3 times until 18 mo, then only 1-2 times until 2, then only once. It was what she needed and I didn't feel obligated to fight and battle with her over her wanting to eat, despite that it would have been nice to sleep all night :-) I figure I chose to have kids, and feeding them when they need comes along with it..., in time they will no longer need us at night. Hang in there, it will get better and easier and these baby and toddler years are SOo short in the big picture! I think you would really love Dr Sears parenting books 'nighttime parenting', 'attachment parenting' and 'breastfeeding' or Jay Gordon's
'good nights' - all of these offer great, gentle approaches. It's nice that your husband is onboard too, it makes it easier to have support in gentle care! Very best wishes and hang in there, this too shall pass!