My 6-Month-old Is Still Waking Too Frequntly

Updated on January 26, 2010
R.S. asks from Chicago, IL
12 answers

Hi there,

My daughter will turn 6 months old on Wednesday. I always imagined that by now, she’d sleep through the night, or at least in long stretches. It seems so many of my friends have babies who are younger and sleeping a whole lot better! She has been exclusively breastfed and only recently have I introduced some solids (which have no impact on her sleep, much to my dismay). We spent over a month overseas where there was an 8 hour time difference, but we have been back now for 10 days so I’m assuming that jet-lag is no longer a legitimate reason for her seeminglly off sleep patterns.

I’m concerned about her sleep patterns and while on the one hand I want to respect what she needs, I’m also going a bit crazy. So here’s the deal: As far as getting her down at night, I don’t need to sleep train. She’s fairly easy…we bathe her, let her have a bit more playtime and then I nurse her and transfer her either when she’s fully asleep or drowsy. Sometimes it takes a couple tries but she generally will fall asleep somewhere between 7:30 and 8 (unless she has taken a late afternoon, early evening nap, which I’m trying very hard not to let her do…I’m trying to make it so that all her naps for the day are over by 5/5:30). After she’s down for the night, it could be anywhere from 3 to 5 times that she wakes, and she usually does about a 9 hour night, which seems too short for a baby her age. She’s sleeping in our room still (we only have one other bedroom on the first floor and we haven’t moved her there yet because we’re waiting for her to sleep in longer stretches) and I keep wondering if that has anything to do with how frequently she’s waking (meaning, she knows we’re near). One positive part of this is that in the past, she would wake and we’d have a very difficult time getting her back to sleep. But now, I feed her and put her back, no problem. Nevertheless, it seems she’s waking wayyyyyyy too many times, not to mention it’s interrupting my sleep and I’ve just about had it with the lack of sleep since she’s been born. I’m not sure that letting her cry it out each time she wakes during the night is the solution----maybe she truly is hungry??? At the moment, she’s waking up at 5:15 am, and then taking her first nap of the day at around 7:30 am. Again, this could be residual jet-lag but I’m not sure. I also am not sure if I should try to push her to stay up later…say 8 or 9 pm, in the hopes she’ll sleep longer. She has never taken a bottle, so giving her a bottle with formula before bed is not an option. She also has never taken a pacifier so sticking one in her mouth to help her fall back asleep is also not an option. We don’t jump to get her each time she makes a peep…we wait a little bit to see if the crying escalates and it usually does. I really want to respect my baby’s needs and maybe she’s just not yet reached the milestone of sleeping through the night. My husband thinks that if we just hold, she eventually will. He is opposed to any kind of sleep training at this age. Of course, it doesn’t help that she’s a little peanut…a whopping 13.5 lbs and the doctor would like to see her put on more weight. This makes me feel like I have to feed her during the night.

I would really appreciate your thoughts…I’m a very tired mom at this point.
Thank you!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your kind advice and suggestions. I have read Weissbluth's book (many times)...but I think it's much different letting a baby cry who wakes up during the night. I assume if she woke up, there's a reason and to ignore her completely seems cruel at this age. Last night we put her down at 7:15, and at 8:15 she was up. I nursed her and she went right back down. I'm beginning to wonder if there's something wrong with my breast milk and it's not filling enough for her. Although many of you said this is totally normal and just a part of motherhood, I'm finding myself feeling frustrated nonetheless. Maybe those of you who said she needs to be in her own room, are right. Or, maybe, this too shall pass and in another month her sleep patterns will be totally different...

Thanks a bunch

More Answers

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H.B.

answers from Tampa on

Her night wakings are completely normal, try not to compare to other babies that 'sleep longer, sounder, eat more/less' etc. Breastfed babies are generally on a healthier eating pattern of more frequent feeding as their food is more easily digested. Although this doesn't help your sleep, it is better and healthier for her. I commend you for many things... Sticking with breastfeeding, keeping your baby in the same room and NOT letting her cry. So many parents fall in the 'easy' parenting trap of not responding or forcing their baby's eating and sleep patterns to their own wants or conveniences. I almost might say that it isn't necessary to let her work into a full cry before you get her and feed her. If she's stirring and rooting/acting like she wants milk, why have her cry? This may end up creating a pattern of her feeling she always needs to full out cry to get your attention? If she is eating, she needs it..... Try not to be persuaded by well-meaning advisors saying that she is only manipulating you, hogwash.... Most babies should be eating throughout the night, but most are ignored or were 'trained' not to bother asking anymore since they were left to cry. I found that with my small girl....only barely 20 lb at 2 and only 30 lb at 4 that she woke more often to eat at night for longer ( probably almost 2 yrs) as compared to my son who is almost 2 now. She ate probably 2-3 times until 18 mo, then only 1-2 times until 2, then only once. It was what she needed and I didn't feel obligated to fight and battle with her over her wanting to eat, despite that it would have been nice to sleep all night :-) I figure I chose to have kids, and feeding them when they need comes along with it..., in time they will no longer need us at night. Hang in there, it will get better and easier and these baby and toddler years are SOo short in the big picture! I think you would really love Dr Sears parenting books 'nighttime parenting', 'attachment parenting' and 'breastfeeding' or Jay Gordon's
'good nights' - all of these offer great, gentle approaches. It's nice that your husband is onboard too, it makes it easier to have support in gentle care! Very best wishes and hang in there, this too shall pass!

4 moms found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Austin on

I just recently read that for breastfed babies, many of them need to nurse once or twice during the night straight through their first year. Breastmilk metabolizes so much faster than formula (90 minutes versus 4 hours says my lactation consultant) that they just get hungry. My little one is breastfed (although we have to supplement right now until my milk supply rises) and he wakes up every 3 hours or so to nurse (he sleeps with me).

As for her size, honey, you really do need to feed her at night. My little one will be 6 months next week too and he is just 14 lbs and he is considered too small. Yours may be fine but mine had fallen out of his growth curve at 4 mos so we are having to really work on his weight. He is not yet caught back up so I just want to encourage you to be careful. What my pediatrician suggested for night feedings was to have him sleep with me (she did it with hers too) so that I could rest during feedings. If you are interested in trying that, go to www.kellymom.com and go to "the family bed" for how to do it safely (I don't use a comforter but wear a zip up hoodie so I'm not cold).

Lastly, as a breastfeeding mom, let me warn you that letting your child sleep through the night is one way you can let your milk supply drop! I've learned so much since mine dropped and one culprit is when kiddos start sleeping through the night. Your body thinks you don't need as much milk and stops making as much. Then your baby starts having weight problems.

I know its hard right now! I'm right there with you. I know its a tough decision between getting enough sleep and making sure your baby is fed enough. I can tell you that most likely the sleep training advocates are not breastfeeding. I really and honestly think your littl one is waking because she is hungry.

Feel free to pm me if you need additional support or info. Hang in there momma!

3 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi there. My daughter is 7 months and we had been going through the same things you mentioned. In talking to friends and doing some reading its sounds like around 6 months night wakings and sleep troubles often increase, mostly due to the baby wanting to be be social with Mom and Dad. Social meaning cuddling, nursing, soothing etc.

My husband and I read and followed the No Cry Sleep Solution, and had temporary success, but then back to tons of night wakings. We then read (and re read and read and talked some more , since the book is sort of confusing) Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Weissbluth. This is the book that really helped us understand her sleep patterns, nighttime needs, and set up reasonable goals and strategies for our approach to her sleep. Basic things Weissbluth says for baby of 6 months:

-If you're having sleep trouble, move the bedtime to earlier. Keep your ritual around bedtime consistent, but always put her to sleep when she is not overtired. 6-8 pm, but probably more like 6:30. This helps give a fuller night sleep . He also says that the sleep from 4-6 or 5-7 if they have an early morning feeding can be considered a continuation of night sleep if you get them back to bed right away.

-He offers no-cry, some-crying and cry-it-out approaches to changing troubles with going to bed and waking up at night, too early etc. For the crying-it-out, the book is very specific on how to do this and why it might be a choice whereas we hadn't considered it before (first night, she cried a while but then has slept awesome since then!).

-Night feedings might indeed be needed at this age. It depends on your baby's size. However, these feedings can be 4-6 hours apart if she really needs them on a hunger level (and not a cuddling level) at all. My 20 lb 7 mo old is fed when she wakes up around midnight and again around 4 if she wakes up. The other times she was waking up was when we did the cry it out.

-Also, I have been going to bed earlier myself as it is me whose doing the night feedings. I miss my husband and my evening free time, but I was also really missing my sanity.

Good luck and sweet dreams to you and your family!!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Chicago on

I'm in the same boat. I too, am looking for answers!

2 moms found this helpful
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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

Sleeping through the night is considered sleeping 6 hours -- and this isn't expected until they're much older. I know this isn't much consolation, but waking throughout the night is actually very normal at this age. Six months is also famous for sleep regressions so that may also explain why your friends babies seem to be sleeping better (but i wonder if they're either so sleep deprived they're accidentally lying or exaggerating).

As you've discovered, solids do not impact sleep despite what other people (usually older people who imo just don't remember what it was like). The studies on sleep have consistently shown that introducing solids does not make them sleep longer. again, you have a normal child. ;)

Just do what you can for sleep -- if that means moving her to her own room, sleeping with her, whatever -- it will not ruin her. Honestly, her sleep doesn't seem that out of whack for a 6 month old. It was a really rough time as I remember. Most likely her sleep problems are related mmore to her age (full of tons of milestones, teething and growth spurts) rather than the travel. It will get better. I swear. I also would recommend No Cry Sleep Solution. It's full of a lot of good information/techniques and is backed by data. It's not sleep training either. From your descriptions, it sounds like you're doing it right. Frankly, I would have envied a child at this age that woke up only 3 times. I know how crazy it feels, but I swear it gets better.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Chicago on

Hi - Sleep is the hardest part of early parenting, I think. It's hard to get much else done until that gets sorted out. I was much like you with my third daughter. Co-sleeping, no CIO, etc. Around 9 months, I tired of the hourly wakings and just put her in a pack'n'play that I set up in her room. She woke up once that night and has been doing great since. All she needed was some space :) Maybe experiment and see how she does in her room. Good luck!!

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K.

answers from Chicago on

The thing that made the difference for my daughter at that age was being WARM. She had been in a blanket, but once we got her a warm sleep sack (we use a Silksac, which actually has some batting and is much warmer than the fleece ones) she started sleeping longer stretches. Sounds to me like the other issue you have is that she is waking early and napping early. This tells me that her last sleep cycle has become detatched from her nighttime sleep. That is, she should be stirring briefly, settling herself, and then falling back asleep at 5:15 instead of being up for the day. We dealt with this with our older child. The trick is to (1) push back the morning nap a little each day, and (2) try and get her to settle herself and/or put her back down to sleep at 5:15 instead of letting her wake for the day. Even if you want to nurse her, just lay her back down instead of getting up for the morning at that point. Since she's so tiny she may be hungry once or even twice during the night, but not 3-5 times at that age I wouldn't think. I would also move her bedtime earlier. My kids always go down around 7:00-7:30. When my daughter was 6 months old she'd sleep from 7-3 AM, nurse, then sleep again until 6 AM, nurse again, and would sleep again until around 7:15 or so, when she got up for the day. Even though technically she got up twice, her first stretch was 8 hours so I didn't feel like that was a problem. FWIW I don't think the introduction of solids or a bottle/formula makes any difference at all in sleep - it's just that kids tend to figure out sleeping a bit better developmentally around the same time as parents start to intro solids.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

#1 Move her into her own room. She probably wakes up, sees you, and wants to play or needs you to put her back to sleep. She hasn't learned how to put herself back to sleep in the middle of the night - she's making you do all the work and she's not learning how to do it.

#2 Don't put her to bed later thinking she'll wake up later; in fact more often the opposite is true. Sleep begets sleep.

#3 A good resource is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. You'll learn so much about infant sleep (totally different than adult sleep), when they should sleep, how they should sleep, and how you can help them learn to self-soothe.

Good luck - at this point it really is up to you. You can continue to allow her to sleep this way or you can gently help guide her to sleep better through the night.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hi - I think that each child just has their own sleep patterns. My son (now 6 yrs old), didn't sleep through the night until he was almost 3 yrs old! I know - not very encouraging. I did not believe in the "cry it out method" either. My son was also in the lower weight group. I think that breast-fed babies tend to wake up more often and some babies just wake up more often than others. (I also exclusively BF until 6 mos and then started on solid foods.) Other thoughts - is she getting any new teeth? Did she learn a new skill? Sometimes this changes sleep patterns.
Good luck!
- J.

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H.S.

answers from Chicago on

I'm sorry that you are not getting a lot of straight sleep. My daughter takes 2-3 weeks to adjust to the 1 hr time changes, so it may take a lot longer than 10 days for a 8 hr time difference. Oh, btw, my daughter is 3 and still is this way.

Also 6 mths is a growth spurt time...it can last a week to 10 days. Just keeping working with her. Every child is different.

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S.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

All of this sounds perfectly normal, I'm sorry to say. Especially for a nursing baby. The only thing I can say is try pumping a couple times during the day and having your husband get up with her and give her a bottle rather than you having to get up with her. You could also try supplementing with formula, which may help her put on weight and keep her more full through the night so that she can sleep.
Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

You say she is sleeping in your room, maybe she is being woken by the breathing? My son sleeps in his room/crib and has since we came home from the hospital. When we are on vacation he wakes up, I think it is because he hears us breathing and knows someone is there. If he is in his room he might wake up, but also goes back to sleep. He has been sleeping through the night since 8 weeks ( mind you to me that was 10pm -4 or 5 am. for a feeding and then back down).

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