My 5 Year Old Stole

Hi,

I think you did the right thing by having him take it back to the store. Did you have him apologize? If not, i would consider having him write a hand written note to the manager and personally deliver it. Then, I would have a talk with him about stealing and why its wrong etc. Find out why he stole? Was he afraid you wouldn't let him have gum? Or didn't have any money for it? Wanted to see if he could get away with it? Find out and don't freak out on him-listen to what he says calmly and then deal with whatever he says. Good luck!

M

While I don't think your question is for real, it's still a good question. So I'll give a serious answer.

Making a child go back to the store and give back the gum is plenty of discipline for most 5yo kids. The embarrassment and demands of obedience are pretty intense at that age. Allowing him to experience the consequences of his act will have made an impression.

Parents should, however, tell him what additional consequences he'll receive if he ever does this again. Possibilities might include restitution, perhaps by doing additional chores to earn money to pay the value of the stolen item. Writing a note of apology is also a good idea, but I'd let the child decide when he's genuinely sorry. Forcing them to say so when they are not is essentially requiring that they tell a lie.

It may also be time to start working with the child on using money well. If he has no "income" from allowance or household chores, he can't very well buy his own gum. He may be ready to accept responsibility for handling money.

My daughter began getting a small allowance at about age 5, and she was allowed to spend half of it on (an acceptable list of) treats or toys for herself or gifts for others, and I required her so save the other half. She could spend it only on "important" purchases, and only with my approval. She learned good saving habits this way. Some parents also include a requirement that some portion of it be used for charitable giving or tithing.

You shouldn't punish him. You made him give it back, that's enough.

He's only 5.

fascinating: last night, you posted about this time too.

well, the verdict is still out: are you a troll?

in all fairness, here's my answer to your question: yes, you did right by making him return the gum. Punishment, hmmm, I think writing an apology note to the store would be nice. If he's 5, then he should be able to copy simple words if you sit with him & calmly direct his work.

This happened to us. I had the store call the police in order to give him a big scare. It worked. He's 10 now and still remembers that...

Taking it back to the store, like you did, I'm sure had a big impact.

Why do people think this is a trolling question? My DD did the same thing at the age of 5 as most kids that age have the idea they see something they want it, some take it. I had her take it back to the store and apologize then write 5 times i will not steal.

I agree with you having him take it back to the store. I also think you should have a calm conversation to try and find out why/how this happened. I do not think he is to young to have a conversation regarding taking things from stores that have not been purchased.
Depending on his answer of why, he is not too young to have a lasting impression of why this is wrong.
Is this the first time that something like this has happened, this is also a factor.