My 5 Month Old Wants to Feed Herself!!

Hi there, I have a 10 month old girl and we had the same problem. One things you can try is to work with 2 spoons. While she is busy with one, you put more food one the other and then you switch. It is going to take you a little longer to feed her but it is better than having her throw a fit and not eating anything. Otherwise you get a little toy that sucks on to the table. It is fun and spins around and it normally distract them enough to get some food in them. Hope this helps.

Hi! I find it helpful to give my son a spoon to hold while I feed him. That way, he is distracted by the one in his hand while I am able to more quickly put food into his mouth! Try other toys or something like a measuring cup-- anything to distract. I think they are more interested in holding something than actually feeding themselves at your daughter's age. Also, a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" by Dr. Marc Weisbuth, a renowned pediatrician and expert on infant sleep (He is in Chicago), really helped me establish a better sleep schedule for my kids. He really stresses the importance of naps and that we as parents have to teach our children to take good naps. I definitely found that if my kids took a good nap during the day, they would sleep well at night--
Sounds like she is eating well, though. Maybe add more solids next month- like a little cereal at night and see if this helps her to sleep through the night (didn't always work for my kids, but for some it really helps). Good luck!

I also agree with the others to let her have here own spoon to hold. I know it can get messy, but pick your battles. It does sound like she may be ready top move to three solid foods a day. Also think about going up to stage 2, as these are little thicker. And don't worry, your child will not starve herself. When she is hungry she will eat. Now that it will be getting warmer, if you are worried she is not getting enough liquids offer her a little water to fend off dehydration. And don't be so hard on yourself, she is new to this feeding thing and sometimes its two steps forward one step back. One day my daughter can't get enough sweet potatoes and the next she spits them back at me like they are poisonous. It will work itself out

It is very typical! Continue to encourage her to feed herself, just give her a spoon and you keep another. As you feed her, she can continue to play - even if you have to keep the real bowl out of reach. It is great that she is taking this step - and should be encouraged to a degree. I would put some food on baby's spoon throughout the meal encouraging her to learn to feed herself. It will be messy, but fun and a great learning step. Also, you will be able to start finger foods soon which sounds like she will take an immediate love for!

As for naps, if she does nap when she is in a car/stroller, then she probably needs the nap, but just may have trouble settling in on her own. Maybe start a nap routine earlier than you used to and have quiet time to encourage her to sleep.

I think that is great she is taking initiative. Give her a spoon to hold herself or a toy. And maybe keep feeding her until she lets you know she is done (closed mouth, spitting everything out, distracted). Good luck!

She's only eating 2 tablespoons of cereal and a half a container of a vegetable? Thats not a lot at all. She could be overly hungry and in a hurry to eat. Try giving her her own spoon to hold on to while you feed her. You could try feeding her three times a day instead of just twice. And truly, you aren't the boss :)

My two older children both went through a period of wanting to feed themselves and making feedings more like a wrestling match with the spoon than a fun experience for either of us. The best solution I found was to use two spoons -- when she takes one, just fill up the other one and offer it to her. She'll then drop the empty spoon to take the one with food. Then you can fill up the spoon she dropped. If you continue this process, eventually you make it through the meal. Annoying for you, but it works!

I don't think she is ready. She sees the spoon as a toy and wants it to herself, I think, but is not interested in the food at all. It's a game now, not a means of nourishment.

IF you want to continue, I also had good luck with giving him a spoon of his own to hold, and then feeding him with another one. But if she is already 18 pounds, I wouldn't worry about getting solids into her right now. She's healthy and growing perfectly, and will be more interested in eating them as time goes on. :) I know what it's like to want to get them eating solids, it is very fun. ;-)

Good luck!

Looks like most people have the same solution I do - give her a spoon of her own to use and then also use one to feed her. Then she feels like she's participating in the feeding, while you can make sure decent spoonfuls get shovelled into her little mouth. :-) It might just be a phase and she'll get bored with it too - my 13-month-old daughter refuses to pick up finger food half the time, wanting ME to do all the work while she sits back and enjoys. There's lots of those little stages - you'll get through them.

Hi L.,

I agree with you, you ARE the boss, because you are the parent and you have far more knowledge and understanding than a child possibly could. That's our job, to train them, not to let them dictate whatever they want. That being said, I think you should give her food right away after the bottle and not wait an hour. The bottle and the solids are one meal. I also agree that feeding is messy and will continue to be (for the next 18 years!!), but it doesn't have to be a free-for-all. Let her help you with the spoon, but also let her know that you are the one in control. Perhaps 2 spoons. When she sees one coming to her mouth with food, she'll let go of the empty one and then you repeat the process.

It is very important to establish early on that you are the parent and you are the one in control. That doesn't mean make everything a battle, but to be firm in what is YOUR plan for something. A child is a welcome addition to the family, but not the center of it, and when you become a mom, you don't stop being a wife, sister, daughter, friend, neighbor, etc. etc. It is so very important that the child learn (early) to adapt to the routines of the family as a whole. Believe me, our eldest was trained with demand feeding and "oh let me accomodate you" attitudes until he was 6, when we wisened up. Our other two (3 and 5) have been trained with parent-control from the start and there is a WORLD of difference. Children aren't to be manipulated, but they need our control. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and it is our job to drive it far from them. I say all this to encourage you :-) Best wishes to you on this miraculous journey of motherhood!
L.

This is NOT a habit you want to break her of! She is excited to participate in feeding. Give her her own spoon to hold, and feed her with another one. Put a bib on her and roll up her sleeves. I usually reserve letting my son completely dive into his food until his evening meal (because he gets a bath right afterwards!) but that's just because I don't have the time to clean him up properly after other meals.

I wouldn't feed her any more solids at this age - she shouldn't be cutting back on formula at all yet - at this point solid food is mostly for "practice". You can try giving her some cheerios or something to eat with her fingers, but I would be surprised if she can pick up something that small yet.

You're doing great. Don't sweat the self-feeding thing - it's natural and you should do what you can to help her learn this skill.

When my son starting taking the spoon from me, I just gave it to him and got a second spoon. It is important for your little one to explore this new routine of eating. With two spoons, the baby will still get to eat, but have this facinating object in her hands to keep her busy, when she drops it and grabs for the spoon again, just take the other one. I did this with my son (he is 15 mos. now) and he got bored with it. Now he mostly lets me feed him, but when he gets that independant streak, you just shouldn't fight it. They are going to have to learn sometime and giving your child a positive eating experience everytime will help later on when they are too busy and curious with the world around them to sit and eat dinner.

I would let her dictate how and what she wants to eat. I think that you will have to either give her her own spoon, which always helped with my kids, or guide her hand to eat. It will get messy, but be prepared for messy eating for the next couple of years!

Also, it sounds like she may be awfully hungry. My youngest, who is 4 months, and just started cereal Tuesday and is already finishing a 1/3 cup of cereal at his dinner. I am starting him on veggies today and adding another cereal feeding at lunch. When he is through all the veggies(and I add every 3 days), I will add a cereal and fruit feeding at breakfast. By 6 months, I start finger foods. Anyway, you want them to be interested and excited to eat. Never discourage self feeding because that is what you want them to do - believe me it's much better when you don't have to sit there and feed them!

Good luck!

J.

L.... aren't solids so exciting?!? ;) You seem to be right on schedule with your solids and your daughter is right on schedule with her independence! My daughter was the same way (now 18 months). Have you tried giving her a 2nd spoon? That way she either has something to keep her busy (she may even dip in in the food and try to feed herself), or if she grabs the "active" spoon, you can switch while she is distracted and then load the other spoon with food. It has gotten us through MANY meals with her pride and my sanity! :) Good luck!

L., sounds like you are doing great. We had the same "problem" and now have a 9 month old self feeder (three meals a day and must hold her own bottle). It is a little messy, but so easy! So here are a few things that we did : 1) let her hold a spoon occasionally dip it in the food, sometimes it will make it to her mouth. If you are not in the mood or the place for a mess give her a lid to a small bowl or some thing to hold on to. We don't do toys at dinner time, but let her play with her food all she wants. 2) Around 6 moths we started giving her purely o's (organic version of cheerios) at first she would just play with them because she couldn't get them to her mouth. When she finaly figured out that they were food we started breaking them into quarters, she would get about 25% of them in her mouth.

Those things both helped us a lot. If you have any questions feel free to email me. We just went through it. Also I found the book "super baby food" by ruth yarrow a ton of help. There is a list of age appropriate foods to introduce each month. Some of the foods are finger foods and could be very helpful for you(tofu was a lifesaver... easy for her to gum, easy to cut, easy for her to pick up and best of all easy clean up)

Good Luck~

M.

L.,
We're right at the same stage. I too don't know when to shift from 2 meals a day to 3. So if you get helpful info, please share it with me! I'll tell you where we're at. We started at 22 weeks and now at 26 weeks my daughter eats a little more than 1/8 a cup cereal and 1/2 jar of stage 1 veggies twice a day. We just had the 6 mo. visit so I'll share what my Ped said. You can slowly increase the cereal up to 1/2 cup 2x a day. It doesn't matter which you introduce first--fruits or veggies--as it does not affect a "taste" or "liking for" particular items. I don't agree with this point; I am going to go take my time going through all the veggies and then introduce the fruits which I know she'll like! The Ped did say that certain mild F&V are more palatable than others--sweet potatoes and bananas aren't as distinct or tart as peas or peaches. She also said that certain vegetables aren't inherently "gassy" so don't purposely avoid them (which contradicts what my mom tells me. I don't know if my Ped is such a iconoclast but she strikes down pretty much everything my mom tells me as not true or that we don't do things that way anymore). She then asked how much formula & breastmilk my daughter gets (we do both). She gets 32 ounces right now, and my Ped. said this amount should decrease as she eats more solids. In your query, you don't say how often your daughter gets liquid feeding. We had a 6oz. per 3 hours schedule for a very long time. It was easier to transition her sleep schedule than her feeding schedule! My daughter now gets up to 8oz. approx. every 4 hours, BF upon waking and before she goes to bed, and sleeps from 6pm to 6am. At 5-6 months of age, babies can sleep through the night and your daughter's weight at her age shows that she's a healthy growing girl! If they will sleep is another matter. She may thoroughly enjoy her late night feeding and does it more out of habit and comfort than of hunger. Finally, you've received a lot of comments and the more I read and experience as a new mom, the more I see that the world is divided into two camps: child-directed and parent-directed. While people from one camp often criticize the choices made from the other, one approach is not better than the next--you choose what works best for your family. There is no one right way! Enjoy your girl,
G

I'm sorry and I hope this does not come across as crass, but I have a real problem with the comment that you "are the boss." Your baby is just a baby and not trying to manipulate you by the fact that she wants to choose when she eats and how much, or by holding her own spoon. And I'm pretty sure she was truly upset that she thought you were taking food away from her and not crying fake or "crocodile" tears.

The good news is- if she is reaching out for food, then that is her cue to you that she is definitely ready for solids. A 5 month old still needs formula or breastmilk, so I would not cut that out, but I would continue to do what you are doing with the solids.

My suggestion is- like the others said, let her help feed herself and deal with the mess. You can hold a spoon and help her while she holds her own, that way if she can't "shovel it in fast enough" you can help with that and pick up her slack.

She's probably just now getting interested in the solids, actually. It's generally not recommended to start solids until 6 months of age.

Is she sleeping 12-14 hours straight?? This would concern me. Her tummy is probably VERY empty when she wakes up. I would speak to your pediatrician if this is the case. He or she might suggest that you wake her up for a feeding.

Also, you don't say that you are even giving her lunch??

A great product to try with a piece of apple, banana, etc. in it is the baby safe feeder, which you can find here: http://www.onestepahead.com/product/osa/307755.html
It can help her feel like she is in control of some of the feeding, is easy to hold, and will keep her from choking when she sucks or gnaws on "real food" in it.

Good luck. I really don't mean to be judgemental, but please pay attention to your baby's cues. She will tell you when she is hungry and what she wants. It's not about OUR convenience when they are this young! Parenting is hard, but sometimes we make it harder when we try to put them on routines rather than just "going with the flow."

Good Luck!
Amanda

Give her a spoon to hold. She will see how to do it through you. Also, you being the boss is correct but she dictates when she is hungry not you. She should be allowed to try and feed herself. My sons wanted to feed themselves at that age and did....very messy but being a mom it comes with the territory! Don't take it that it is all falling apart? I don't understand your comment. It isn't it is progressing! That is what babies do, progress.
Also, she should take naps not just a straight shot. She is probably so hungry at that point that she will do what she can to eat. Let her sleep 12 hours at night and then 2 in the afternoon.

She is probably just teething and likes to chew on the spoon. One of my children also loved to do this, so I ended up giving him a spoon of his own to chew on in between bites of food. It seemed to help but he also was my early independent eater. I think it was about 7-8 months when he wouldn't let me feed him with a spoon anymore. Became very messy but he ate that way! Have you tried lying her down 1-2 hours after she has been up? She might be waking up in the middle of the night not because of being hungry but because she doesn't have a nap schedule in the day. It always amazes me the more they sleep during the day the better they sleep at night. At 18 pounds her stomach should be large enough not to need any food for 12 hours at night. I think she is eating plenty during the day but I would save yourself the time and combine the cereal and veggies so you don't feel like you are feeding her all the time. Good luck!