I am still going through it with my six year old. We can now pin point it to the times when he has had a full day of play and is extremely tire, then we can do all of the above wake hime before we know that he will have one.
The only thing that SOMETIMES work is my talking to very softly and hugging him when he allows me too. He would cry out for "Mommy" and i'll keep trying to console him that I'm there, some times he allow me to massage his feet I guess the constant motion, or touching helps.
If we are on our way home after a long day without naps then we can count on it that he will have one. it is not consistant as every night. I try to encourage him to take naps if i'm home with him during the day, because I have proven that this wards them off. But try getting a 6yr old to take naps.
As to the person with her boyfriend who gets them my husband does too, but his i've been able to pinpoint to when he really stressed, so he has the exact sympttoms as she's described.
The kicking wakes me up during those times. I can hold a whole conversation with him and he answers and never remembers what he said , and he doesn't believe me when I tell him either, though he was so afraid to have our son sleep next to him before he started sleeping in his room. When his begin I usually ask him to roll off his back to his side or change his position and that helps. I wish you the best too. I'm still struggling and only found out what they were by talking to my son's bestfriend's mother and she voiced that her 8yr old use to have them until he was about 7 I think she said, then I researched it. Let me know if you get any advice that helps.
M. B