My 4 Year Old Isn't Potty Trained Yet! Any Suggestions?

We have this same problem. My middle son will be 4 in March and will not go on the potty regularly at all. As a matter of fact we are doing potty boot camp this weekend starting today. I have learned not to push him at all to follow what he wants to do. Since his birthday is coming up we have set a goal that if he is potty trained by his birthday that he can go bowling for his party. Cause we did the candy and the stickers but that for us isn't/wasn't working.

So maybe sit down with him and set a big goal and maybe that will help.

I wouldn't worry about it too much yet. Just be consistant about taking him to the potty. Unfortunately most kids go when the are good and ready. My first son was potty trained right at his 3rd birthday and my second wasn't until he was 3 1/2. Kids learn at their own pace.

Throw away the pull ups. He knows you will resort back to them. Make him clean himself up and give a hug and congrats when he goes. Stop talking about it in front of him and don't at all show any emotion when he messes his pants. Take away something very special to him. When he uses the potty he can earn 5 minutes with it. At the end of the day if he stayed dry all day he can have it back to keep. If he messes again take it away again. He's 4 years old, he'll figure it out in a hurry!! Stick to your guns...DO NOT GO BACK TO PULL UPS!!!! If you are afraid of messes at night, you can get waterproof mattress covers at walmart($6) get a few of them and put one on the matress, put sheets on, put another cover on and sheets, cover then sheets. That way in the night you can supervise him taking off the dirties, getting clean clothes and crawling into a clean bed. No work on your part, just give the directions. But show no emotions and make him do the cleaning up. I guarantee in a few days he will be potty trained.

My son was almost 2years old i use 2 flush his fav candy down for him 2 use the potty. And that was m&m's. See if that would work for you. He never wet the bed or pees himself and he is 5 now.
Did you ask him why he would not go on the potty? I ask my son and he thought he would fall in. My thing was he would not go #2.

M. - here is a link to our great teaching tool at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. I hope it helps. You can also see my response to Sara R. on this subject. Good luck!http://www.chop.edu/consumer/your_child/condition_section...

I have a 3 year old daughter and I was concerned just as you are. All of my friends children were 2 and potty trained so I was worried. What I tried may or may not work for you but what I did was I bought underwear with animals on it like frogs or monkeys and I'd tell her "don't pee pee on the monkey" and it worked! Of course she's made a couple of mistakes but not many and she is always telling me "mommy I didn't pee on the monkey" it is so cute. I hope this helps. Please let me know if it does.

Before having my daughter, I was a pre-school teacher and have helped potty train hundreds of children. While every child is indeed different, I would like to offer a few suggestions to you to try on your son. First I would "forget" about going potty for a month or so and then bring the subject up on your son's terms. By that I mean, if he is feeling a constant pressure to go on the potty and he is feeling anxiety about the issue, take a month and relax and come back to it later. When it's time to come back to going potty, ask him what would be an appropriate reward for him once he starts to go again. Candy is always a great reward in a childs eyes, but maybe alone time with mom doing his favorite thing, or a trip to his favorite restaurant- you ask him! Maybe a potty chart to mark his progress and how close he gets to his goal just may be the thing he needs. He's old enough now to realize that this is an issue he can control, so make him in control, the only pressure on him, being BY him. I am of course taking into consideration, that he can hold it by himself, not being a medical issue. Good luck!

Hi M.. My son is 3 1/2 and has PDD which a form of autism and I can't get this child to go potty either. He it totally aware that it's natural and big boys go "potty".
I was told to go and try again in a few months closer to his 4th bday.
Good luck. You're not the only one out there dealing with this issue.

My oldest son was almost 4 when he finally potty trained. I was very frustrated as well. Try letting him run around naked at home. His only option is going to be to either use the toilet or he will hit the floor. After my son got in trouble 2 times for the floor he never did it again and started using the potty. Sometimes children are also afraid of having a BM also on the potty. Boys are definitely harder to train then girls, although I did have a hard time with my daughter too, but she thought she was supposed to stand up as well like her brothers..haha. I even got into telling my oldest they won't let you go to Kindergarten if you don't use the potty, that worked well because he wanted to go to real school so badly. I also even broke down sometimes to tell him only babies go in their underwear, does that mean your a baby?? I totally did away with pullups or diapers because I didn't want him to think that option was still there for him. I told him underwear was all we had. Believe me they don't like it being messy and against them. But there also will be some accidents after because they will be so busy playing at times and not go, that you just have to accept and let them know the next time they have to use the potty. Also you can buy the Once Upon a Potty book, they also have the book/movie package which i had, all my kids LOVED that book and we read it alot. They look at it now and laugh of course....Good luck

Oh let me add some children prefer the small childrens potties and some prefer the normal toilet, i had 1 son who liked the child one and one that liked regular, you may want to try this. Also my middle child liked the child's potty that played music if you went in it, I forget who makes it..

When he's ready he will do it with no prompting on your part. My Cole was 4 (just before his birthday in fact, days before) and he said he didn't need pull ups anymore, he was ready to use the potty. We've had no accidents since. Don't worry, if he's hard headed like mine are, he will do it, just on his terms, not yours. Good luck

I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one out there with this problem. My son also turned 4 in Nov and we can not get him to do number 2 in the potty. he has some good days and some bad days. we too have tried everything to man to get him to go. I just kinda gave up on being to hard on him and decided that he can only do this for so long. he does pee in the potty and even gets up in the middle of the night to go I just cant get him to do the other. please dont give up it will get better soon. I think someone on here told me that at least we know he wont be 12 years old dirting his underwear. good luck. sorry I had no advice just some support in knowing that you are not alone..

I dont have any advice. My 4 and 1/2 year old daughter will pee in the potty but refuses to poo in the potty. She has been constipated regularly and has been diagonies with endorpsis(sp?). She is on medicines for it but it still doesnt seem to be working. She will lieterally hold her poo in.My almost 3 yr old son doesnt want anythign to do with potty training yet either. I think becuase his sister isnt using it. If you find something that works please let me know so i can also try it. I have also noticed the last couple of days he is now holding his poo in. So i have two children going through this. I hope that is some comfort. LOL. Let me know what happens!

I used M&M's with my daughter which worked well. She literally had 2 accidents after starting. She was nearly 3. My son has allergy issues so that didn't work for him, but he was so facinated with wiping, flushing and washing his hands at about 21.5 months but we wouldn't let him unless he went potty so he started going. He will stay dry many days if someone mentions the potty frequently enough. He can get caught up in playing or just forgets and will have accidents, but I attribute that to his age. He will not poop in the potty though. Again, He's young so we remind him to tell us when he does in his diaper, but can't really get too upset.

One thought - I know many people have strong feelings about this - we basically went from diapers to underwear and skipped pull-ups. I'm not super strong on the subject, but I do think you should decide what you can live with and stay with it. If the washer full of soiled underwear leads you back to pull-ups, then perhaps you need to stick with pull-ups longer to go to diapers until your son can establish some consistency with staying dry. Try making a chart or marking a sticker on the calendar for each dry day. Tell him that after a week of staying dry, he can try underpants again. The only times I resorted to pull-ups with my daughter were naps/bedtime - it simply takes a little longer and I am pregnant and not interested in changing a full size sleigh bed that is up again a wall on a regular basis - call me lazy, and time we'd be away from a potty and getting there within a reasonable time would not be possible -in the car for a long trip, airplane, etc. I know some think it's cheeting, but I'd always explain to my daughter why we were using a pull-up and she did well with it. She'd ask for a potty first and was reluctant to go in the pull-up, but I would tell her when she asked for the potty that it was ok to go in the pull-up because there were not any potties around. I didn't see value in her ending up having an accident.

Hi. I did the Dr. Phil method with my son when he turned 3 and it worked in one day. It was always on his website, www.drphil.com. The biggest thing that I found with other kids though is that once you start you cannot go back. No giving in and putting pull ups on. I know it is frustrating and a lot of work but you can't give in. This only teaches him that he really doesn't need to use the potty because you will eventually give in and he will get his own way. You did not mention if he is a special needs child so I will assume that he is not. At 4 yrs old he should know what he is doing. If you suspect that maybe he truly can't control it, you should see your doctor. It may be a medical issue. Good luck and hang in there.

Boy are really hard to potty train... I tried the timer thing just like you did and learned only one thing... I was potty training myself... What I mean by that is he isn't learning how to control it because you are telling him when he needs to go... I just started to take me son every so often and I watched the way he acted... By that I mean if you noitce he is hiding or pulling at himslef then that is the time to take him... He slowly got the idea and I now have him going to the bathroom... But he still have slip ups... But I know you are wanting him to get the idea but just go with reward him but tell him he only gets it when he does something in the potty not just because he went and sat on the potty... I hope I might have help you out alittle...
Brittany

My son just turned 4 in Dec and we are currently using the Foxx and Azrin Potty training technique with him, since he is special needs. Im sorry I dont have any suggestions since Im in the same boat :( I found being consistence and having patience does help alot :)