My 4 year old is starting this new "phase" where she is scare to go to the bathroom alone if the light is not on. Before she would go in with the lights off if she had to, scare of the swing at the park. She tells me "mommy not so high" but im not even pushing her at lot. Scare of my mom's birds. Before she would get close to them and now she runs away when they get close. Another thing she picked up was that she says things are too noisy. Like if a truck passes by she would cover her ears. She started doing that since a little boy stayed over my house and he did that all the time, he is Autistic. One day the noise bothers her, another it doesn't. One day she is scare of the dark another one she is not. I don't know what to believe anymore.
If her fears are not consistent then I wouldn't play along with them. Just tell her to calm down and that it's no big deal and then change the subject. We do that with our kids even when they really are afraid of something and eventually they just get over it. If you play into these things she will keep doing it.
You don't say whether your little girl is very imaginative.
Whether this is true or not, it could be just a stage she's going through. As children grow more aware of the world around them, they begin to wonder about things, and that can sometimes translate into fears. They don't know what else to do with the things they're thinking.
If you were to ask her, casually, "What bothers you about going high in the swing?" what would she say? Try asking her. If she's afraid of falling off, you can say, "Keep holding on and you'll stay on the swing. You have a good grip there." That lets her know she has some control. If she says, "I'm scared that I'll go all the way around over the top of the bar and fall off," you can answer, in a friendly, matter-of-fact way, "Oh, I don't think that will happen. It's a l-o-n-g way up there, and I can't push you that hard. I think you're safe with me." If you're interested but not concerned, it may help her to be interested but not concerned.
When my children were little, they all - at one time or another - were afraid of the noise at the monkey house in the zoo. And I couldn't blame them. About all I could say was, "They ARE noisy! Let's go outside. What do you think they're saying to each other so loudly? Are they mad or just being silly?"
The dark can usually be conquered by a gift of a little flashlight all her own. In fact, I've known kids who declared themselves to be afraid of the dark for a while just to get a little flashlight.
You'll probably catch on as to when this behavior is a real concern (for that moment) and when it's a game. When it's a real concern, asking questions might help. When it's a game, you can choose whether to play it or whether to divert her attention to something else.
It's a phase. Some kids go through it worse than others. My older daughter was past it in about 6 months, but my younger one is still going through it and she's turning 6 next month. Ugh. She's afraid to be upstairs (or downstairs) by herself, she's afraid of what might be lurking in her closet (so I took the closet doors off, solved that problem! LOL), she's afraid of spiders, bugs, ants, anything that creeps or crawls, she doesn't want to be in the bathtub by herself. Oh, and now she has started saying that she is afraid of dying, and what if she falls off her bike and dies, or what if she gets hit by a car when she is walking across the grocery store parking lot with me, or what if we get in a car accident... I swear, she's turning into Wednesday Addams. I am so ready for this phase to go away already.
I agree with Therese, children can pick up on adult fears (and also other children's fears). I would reassure her that she is fine, when she says she is scared. For instance on the swing I would not lessen or increase the swing, just keep it where it is saying, "don't be silly, you are doing a great job, you are just fine." With the birds, don't push her towards them, but stop her from running, and say, "you are fine where you are at, they aren't going to hurt you." If she complains about noise, let her know that you like hearing the sound of a truck or whatever the noise is, so she sees an alternative response.
Great question, as my 4 year old son has been doing similar things off and on for the past few months. Started with the noise. Covering ears when I vacuum or being afraid of other loud noises that he previously wasn't. Now the vacuum doesn't bother him but something like a chainsaw will. Now it is bugs, screams if a bug is near him. Same with swings, hates them and heights, then next day, I hear "swing me higher". Of course, I'm the nervous type so I too, thought autism. At 4 though you would know if she was autistic. I know there is a range of autism disorders but the traditional one you are worried about, you or your pediatrician would see a lot more going on. I would not worry at all. Remember too, things that are persistent and get worse is what I have always been told to worry about, usually when things come and go, usually nothing to worry about. I'm really learning how quirky kids can be, I'm still trying to figure it all out. Don't worry mom, your daughter is just fine.
I think lots of kids go through this. They probably figure out that, "I'm scared" means there will be a reaction. I know I do with my daughter, she is only 2 1/2 and when she says she is scared, then she gets my full attention if it was lagging at the time. It may be nothing more than that, I want attention and I know I'm scared will get it. I totally agree with asking her why she is scared. Good luck to you!
