My 4 Year Old Has Been Having Daily Accidents (Poop and Peepee) at School!

Happy birthday to your son!! Mine is almost three and refuses to use the potty, so I kind of understand. I wonder if he gets caught up in whatever they are doing at school that he ignores the signs. In any case maybe the guidence councilor would have a tip. If not then I'd check with the doctor for some other ideas. It could be a psychological thing, which is why I am suggesting this. I am not suggesting that your child is anything but wonderful, its just that going potty is a personal thing to them. I've heard of kids who don't like anyone in the room when they potty, well kids or people of the same sex. Its just a thought. Check with the teacher to find out if the other kids have free access to the potty. Good luck, Jen

I think that if you can do it, picking him up every time he has an accident is the way to go. That way he'll understand the cause and effect.

I don't see how moving him to a different school would be worth the hassle, especially since if he does really like his current school, it probably wouldn't make a difference in his behavior.

Have his teachers mentioned anything they've noticed that might be related? What have they tried with him?

Good luck!

Hello Adrina ,

Happy Birthday to your little Boy !!! If everything is well @ home with the Bathroom situation , There most be something in school that is trigering the Bathroom aacidents . Either he is stress or he might not feel comfortable in school . I don't know what else to tell you. I hope you can resolve this situation soon , I can only imagine how frustrating you can be .

~ A.

Hello A., and happy birthday to your son.I also have this matter with my 10yr old.Yes 10.what I recevid from his urologist was that he was so involved in having fun that he would hold it for so long causing presure on his bowels making him run to the bathroom to late.He told my son he should be relaxed and go every four hours. Of course I cant be with him at school to remind him every four hours so I bought him a watch that beeped him in the middle of the school day. It trained him to stop and just go,even if he didn't feel the need to. He is much more in control now and enjoying his time,worry free.

As a parenting coach and mother of 2 (9 year old boy and 4 year old girl) I would like to share a basic philosophy with you (one which I teach and use at home) - "Every misbehavior is a child's attempt to communicate something."

My first instinct is that something makes him nervous at school. I don't mean that he is being abused or intimidated or anything serious, necessarily. Perhaps he just feels uncomfortable asking permission to use the potty.

My suggestion to you is to go and observe. Is there an opportunity for you to go in (unannounced to the school) and watch the classroom without your son knowing that you are there? As his mom, you know him better than the teachers or principal, so you will naturally see things that they won't recognize.

Another thought that I just had is that if there are any big changes in his life, it could set him back. Is he around a new baby, perhaps? Have you recently moved? Just a thought.

I think that most important thing I can say to you is that he's not abnormal! Kids all develop differently, at different rates and we all deal with things in our own way. Be patient with yourself and with your sweet boy. All of these things have their way of working out.

I hope this helps! Have a great day. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I think that you (and the school) are putting a lot of pressure on him (and negative attention) because of his wetting/pooping. If the school will cooperate, then put him in a pull-up. Tell the teachers not to chastise him or urge him to use the potty.
Explain to your son that you don't want him to have accidents in his underwear, so he can use a pull-up for now. And let him go in the pull-up (or go to the bathroom and pull the pullup down) and don't keep urging him or asking him if he needs to use the bathroom. The less attention you pay to him regarding this issue the better. Tell him that when he's ready to try again in big boy underwear to tell you. Most 4 year olds really dislike pull-ups (he knows he's not a baby anymore) and hopefully you will find that he stops having 'accidents' very soon... good luck!

Hi A.!

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this problem right now. The only bit of advice I can think of is to maybe have the teacher watch him for signs that he is "ready to go" and try to direct him to the nearest restroom.

Also make sure to dress him in either elastic waist pull up type pants without any difficult buttons or belts in case he needs to get them off quickly.

I know when my son was younger he would get so involved with what he was doing that he didn't even think about going to the bathroom until it was a real emergency. I am sure you will get through it. Good luck!
J.