This is actually 2 questions but my first question is... My 4 month old daughter has had problems sleeping without being in someone's arms since she was born but over the last few weeks she started sleeping up to 5 hours by herself in her pack n' play right by my bed. Then... the unthinkable happened! She slept 8 hours Thursday night and 8.5 Friday night! I still woke up at her 4am feeding time and made sure she was still breathing (ha!) but was/is so incredibly grateful. Well... it's been downhill from there. The last three nights went like this - Saturday, 2-3 hours of sleep before she would wake up either hungry or just talking to the ceiling - Sunday, about 2 hours between each waking up period where she acted desperately hungry but would barely eat before she would fall asleep on the breast - Monday, about every 1 to 1.5 hours she would wake up and fuss until I picked her up and I ended up caving in and letting her sleep in my arms for a couple hours because she wouldn't sleep.
I don't think she sleeps too much during the day and I always put her in her crib for her naps so she isn't in someone's arms... what am I doing wrong?
Extra info is that she was born 5 weeks early but was only in the NICU for one hour because she was healthy even then! Could this effect her?
Please help me! Any advice is appreciated.
By the way - we even tried Babywise for a week to see if it would help but I just couldn't ever get her to follow the system and she seemed so sad so we quit and she's much smilier now. I'm not really a strict gal anyway... more of a hippie.
My other question is - are there any mommy groups in the Irving/Las Colinas area? I have a couple girlfriends with kids but I'd love to meet more. Is Gymboree appropriate for a 4 month old? Can you just show up by yourself or do you have to go with other people? I have no idea how it works... obviously... hahah...
Thanks so much for your help everyone! WOW! I seriously was shocked at all the good advice and prompt responses!
A little update on Magnolia - she is sleeping much better and I believe it is partly due to the fact that she started cereal! I give it to her in the evenings and she only wakes up (generally) 1-2 times in a night. I am reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I can't lie... I've had to reread a couple paragraphs due to the closing....of....my.....eyes......but we're coming along nicely. Next step - ALL NIGHT SLEEPING! I'm trying to be optimistic people! Thanks again!
I've never done Gymboree, but I love Kindermusik. I've done it with my son for 4 years now!
I am kind of a "hippie-geek" myself but on the other end of the kid-raising-spectrum. You are just beginning. I am approaching the empty nest. I've had 4 children: 1st-born starting med school in Aug., 2nd-born graduates college next year, 3rd-born graduates high school, and one starts 5th grade this fall.
I nursed and was up at erratic times during the first few months with each baby. This is what I learned: Time goes by so FAST, you will miss these days, and wonder where the sweet little babe is that used to fit in your arms. Especially, when your teenage daughter is saying that you are ruining her life by not dropping her at the mall with her friends.
This is what my mom told me when I called her worrying that I had said the wrong thing to a 3-year old and may have damaged his little psyche. She said, "E. . . . your job is to keep them fed and keep them clean. That is all you HAVE to do!!"
My mother passed away 7 years ago, and it still makes me SMILE to think of that advice. Of course, moms do more that feed 'em and clean 'em. But that advice really HELPED during the rough patches.
I like the idea suggested by another mom of checking for scratchy pajamas, too-hot pajamas, or a hot, wet diaper. Stick your finger down the back of the neck of her sleepers to see if she's too hot.
Try the book Healthy Sleep Habits; Happy Child. It gives a great overview of how sleep patterns develop in children. I love it and have used it to help all of my kids sleep better. Hang in there, it gets better!
My daughter has never been a very good sleeper, but either have I. We are all different. I cannot remember a day in my life (unless I was sick) that I slept more than 4 hours straight.
My daughter is 3 1/2 and sleeps only about 7 hours at night and then 1 hour naps. But it works for her.
Is your little one wet when she wakes up? Maybe it is getting too hot at night with all this crazy weather?
You can try to talk to your pediatrician, but I didn't get any info when I did that I didn't already know or find on the net.
Just do what works for you. If you just can't handle it and have to sleep, then do what you have to do...let her sleep with you, in a swing, whatever.
I know some moms will disagree with that, but you have to get sleep. She will get into a schedule that works for her naturally. In the meantime, do what you need to do to get the sleep you need to function.
For the second question, I'm in Arlington so I don't have an answer.
Hi A.. My first bit of advice, same as for any mom: do what works for you and your family. Don't hold too tightly to any advice if it just isn't comfortable for you. Every child is different and what works for one may not for another. I know, it's hard to figure out if you're "doing it wrong" or if the baby is just in an adjustment period of something new. Remember, if your baby is 4 months, she could be getting teeth, or having gas, or have a hair in her mouth, or her sleeper is scratchy, etc. They have no other way to communicate.
My second bit of advice: try not to jump at every sound. If her pack n play is in your room, right next to your bed, that will be hard to do. Again, this is a "do what's good for you" situation, but my advice would be to put he pack and play in her room and have her sleep there (or even put her in her crib!) I had the same problem with my daughter not wanting to go in the crib. I just kept trying it, even if she kept waking up over and over again. Consistency is key.
One last thing about Babywise: I've heard moms that love it and moms that hate it. Personally it didn't work for us, but I think I didn't really "do it right". One thing if you decide to try Babywise again: if your baby is crying when it's time for her to go to sleep, and continues to cry, it's okay to go in periodically and calm her down by patting her back, talking to her, getting her calmed down. I tried to do the whole thing so strictly that I let my poor son scream for an hour straight! Admittedly I should have known better but I was so determined to do the BW thing, and thought if I went in I'd be "breaking the rules". Just do whatever makes your baby happy and healthy and same for you and you will be off to a great start. All the discipline stuff comes later, so for now just enjoy your little girl.
My younger son had the same issues...cat naps during the day and then at night would wake up every 2-3 hours until 4 and then he was up every 15-30 minutes! The first thing I did was see the Dr. to rule out an ear infection. He did not have one of those, but "disordered sleep". Our solution was following the advice in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". Within 3-4 days of following that routine my son slept from 7p-7a and was taking 2 naps at 2 hours a piece. It was a complete turn around. You should give it a shot, but I'd make sure she does not have an ear infection first because that will cause them to wake during the night. Good luck. hd
Hey A. -
I can relate to what you said about being more of a hippie! BUT my 2nd daughter had a very similar problem to yours and was just inconsolable until I really applied Babywise - and I was shocked at how well it worked. The trick for us was NOT letting her sleep immediately after she ate, but having that wake time right afterwards. So, eat / WAKE / sleep, in roughly 2.5 hour cycles, then to 3hrs, etc. She was sleeping through the night like a champ within 2-3 weeks of starting that and having lovely days too. Maybe give it one more try and see if it works for you. I held a VERY LOOSE schedule, but it was still a schedule that her brain got used to doing and it worked like a charm!
Hope that helps! You can do it - and Magnolia can too!!!
Oh - and I've never been to Gymboree either, but I suggest that you just call up the one closest to you and ask them to explain how it works. ;D
Have an awesome day - enjoy every minute of that baby!!!
Love, S.
(SAHM of 4 - ages 14, 10, 8, and 4 - whew - just typing it makes me tired!!!) ;)
Completely normal. She is probably going thru a growth spurt and needs to nurse more. She is probably still confused about day/night patterns especially since she came so early. Welcome to mommy-hood! My son didn't get a good sleep pattern untl he was about 6 months old, and even then he would wake up a few times a night every now and then. He was born 3 weeks early (still weighed 7.2 lbs!), but it took him a little while.
She sounds normal to me. Some babies may not take to a schedule especially that young. The younger the child, the quicker they change. Hang in there. She'll be big and sleeping much better before you know it!
First, it sounds to me like you aren't doing anything wrong, but possibly Magnolia is going through or about to go through some sort of change. It may be teething, simply growing or a developmental milestone that is just in her intelligence.
Usually, in my humble experience, sleep patterns change when a child is growing or going through a developmental milestone. If she can take naps in her crib, then I wouldn't worry at all about holding her in my arms to fall asleep for other sleep cycles. This is such a short period in her and your life where you are going to get to hold her. There's nothing better than sitting and holding a sleeping baby either! :-)
Just ride it through and see what changes take place for her. And, if she needs your comfort and you enjoy giving it, then do.
As far as meeing Mommies - look at http://www.momsclub.com/. There should be a club in your area. Also, you sound pretty cool...I have a 3 year old boy and a 2 1/2 month old daughter. We are always up for a playdate and making new friends.
P.
