My 3Yr Old Son Will Not Go to the Potty. He Says No!

Ok my oldest son i trained him by giving him candy every time he went the other one i thought he was a lost cause but then my mom told me just let him stay wet and it worked after awhile it wasn't comfortable and then he started going in the potty it might be hard keeping them wet but it worked for me

Why in the world would you teach him to pee sitting down? Girls sit down and boys stand up. Somethime they miss the target, but they still must stand up. As for the other, does he go to a Mother's Day Out program? If he knows about pre-school where all the little 4 and 5 year olds go, he needs to know that if he poops and/or pees in his pants, he will not be allowed to go. They do not do potty training in pre-school. If putting stars on a chart beside the potty does not work try the reward system. Get a lot of little cheapies at the 99cent store and gift wrap them and keep them in sight of the potty. When he is successful, he gets to choose a prize. Sometimes it works.

My son was the exact same way. He was 4 before he potty trained. I caught a lot of flack for him not being potty trained from my family and friends. I decided not to let it bother me and when he decided he was ready than we would go for it. I tried to find something that would excite him (cartoon underwear, candy, stickers, etc.). When he turned 4 he was able to start Pre-K which he LOVED. I explained to him that he wasn't able to go to big boy school until he used the potty. With that as his prize, he woke up one day and off came the diaper. Not accidents, nothing. yeah!! It had to be his decision. Now, pooping was another story. He hated it. Months later, I found a sponge-bob seat that fits on the toilet with a pee guard. He loved it. He was able to sit more securely on the toilet and wasn't afraid of falling in. With sponge-bob and a sticker prize chart, we finally were potty trained. My biggest advice is: DON'T LET THIS BOTHER YOU. WHEN HE IS READY HE WILL DO IT. TRY SOMETHING AND IF IT DOESN'T WORK, STOP AND THEN A WEEK OR SO LATER TRY SOMETHING ELSE. YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM!!!!! Good luck!!!

I went to a potty training seminar 2 weeks ago and I was advised against EVERYTHING that books say to do.. She states that rewarding is not the proper way to go.. it teaches them to expect a reward for everything they do. Them using the potty is an accomplishment they need to want to achieve, not the parent. If you praise and reward, they are just going to set the standards even higher and see how far you will go. If he is aware of what he needs to do, then you just need to provide him the necessary tools to accomplish it and when he does decide to just try it, then you reverse the reward and simply say "you must be so proud of yourself, look what you did all on your own". Don't hype it up, because this is something they need to realize is an everyday part of life... My son is 3 and a half a not trained.. I have a super busy schedule and we are in and out all the time, so I am waiting until Christmas break and will take the pants off and let him decide what he wants to do. He will get it someday. You know how at preschools they have pictures posted by the sink of the steps on washing hands, she suggested doing the same for going potty... I just need to figure out how to get those pictures.. I know this isn't the response you wanted to hear, but I learned by putting pressure on them, depending on their personality, it just isn't going to work. Bribes worked for my older son, but they definitely don't work on my 3 year old, he could care less.. he is all about his own terms, and I have to respect that.... Good luck.. J.

Start with the sitting down, once he has that down, get a man his father is the best to show him how. When he see this may he will think that is the best. With kids you never know. But is worked with my son. Thank goodness.

Exactly what Jennifer said. He will potty train when he is ready. You can't rush these things. It's also a trail and error things. Somethings work for other children and not with another. My girls were potty trained by the time they were 3 1/2. I didn't rush. Also children feel your frustration.
Good Luck

I'm in the same boat.However, my son will be four in january and he knows how to go. he's just stubborn at times and trust me it can be frustrating. I 've tried the stickers and believe it or not twizzlers worked best for me.. I know its a sweet but one bag goes a long way when you cut them into 2inch pieces. He'll go when he's ready. I have five children and they all trained at different times. my girls were done by 15 and 18 months my oldest boy was done by 3rd birthday and my baby is not quite there yet. remember to be consistant my son only goes(#2) 1-2 times a day. usualy in the morning and after dinner. so at those times I try not to have any stimulating activities going on in the house that may be distracting. good luck..

Now it's just a power thing. Just forget about it, put him in diapers and let it go for a week or so. When he asks to do something big boy (go eat somewhere, play a video game, party) tell him that you would love to do that, but that only big boys wearing underwear can do it. Say it like you are totally on his side and you are truley sad he can't do it. Don't shame him about it, just make him realize his choice to wear diapers will make him not able to do the stuff he wants to do. He needs to realize it on his own, like it is his idea, not yours. You just manipulate in the background and he'll make the right choice eventually. Good luck!

I have been potty training an "advanced" 2yr old for several months with spotty success. I finally found something that has really worked about a week ago and we've had very few "accidents" since. We've been leaving the sippy cup in the bathroom and every time she wants a drink we go in and try to potty before/after. If she downs most of it we stay in the bathroom with her pull ups off until she goes (usually 10min max). If it's taking a while then I read her a "potty book". I do LOTS of praising and have given her M&M's as reward sometimes. She was also one of the kids that would tell you "no" about going, but now it's not nearly the same battle.

When you say that stickers and pull ups did not work, what you really need to be thinking is that it did not work YET! Keep trying with the praise and incentives. Look for the signs of readiness. I would keep using the pull ups as they are easy to pull up and down like underwear. Let him pull them down himself.

At first it's easiest to have boys sit. You can buy a training potty that has a splash sheild (just in case.) Once he masters the sitting down and is a little bigger you will easily be able to transition him to standing. What I found with my son is that he was too short to stand up and pee at first.

Here are some sites that may help you with tips and the ready signs. Don't stress about it and try not to push him too much. When he is ready, he will go! My pediatrician said that most boys train between 3-4. My son was 3 1/2 when he decided he wanted big boy underwear and was so excited when he got to pick them out himself.

http://children.webmd.com/tc/toilet-training-topic-overview

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/pottytraining/l/bl_potty_r...

http://www.babycenter.com/0_potty-training-readiness-chec...

my 3yo was the same but he had to be trained for preschool. I realized after two boys that it was me that needed the training. I agree you can't force a child but I strongly encourage some serious pushing. I had my son pick out a couple of $5 toys that he wanted at the store. I didn';t tell him until we got home that he must earn them by pooping and peeing on the potty. It took about two weeks of wet pants and lots of crying but he got it. It was hard for me but it had to be done or he could not go to school, which he desperately wanted. The toys, I tacked over the toilet out of reach as a reminder. It is tough love, but it can be done.

Hi, P.. I just went through this with my 4 year old. I started trying to train all 4 of my children when they were 2 and it took all of them until they were 4 years except the youngest (girl;she's 3)who trained herself pretty much. I was working out of the home with my oldest so I thought it took him a long time because I couldn't be home with him and really focus on the potty stuff. But I have been a stay at home mom with the last 3 and I was very diligent with potty training. I was afraid they were going to start kinder in diapers. But they didn't and as hard as I've tried they just finally one day made up their minds that they needed to learn to use the potty and they just started going on their own. Just relax and don't let all the people in your life make you feel bad about your child not being trained yet. Just keep doing what your doing with the positive rewards and always encouraging him to use the potty. It will come in time and as long as your relaxed about it, your child will be fine. I also heard on a segment on the radio (I think it was Dr. James Dobson with Focus on the Family)that it is not uncommon for children to take until 4 years old to really be potty trained. I heard this when my youngest son was 3 1/2. When I relaxed and stopped bothering him he did it on his own and it was 2 weeks before he turned 4. Now he goes without any help from me and he doesn't even wet the bed at night or have accidents. I wish I had known this all along. Oh, and I've always trained my boys to stand when they pee. Hope this helps. Best wishes to you.

i have a 7 month old little boy and one tip i have been given for when he's ready to potty train i got from my aunt. put a few fruit loops or cheerios in the potty and have him aim for them. the fruit loops are colorful so they may work better than just plain cheerios. my aunt used this trick with my cousin and had wonderful results. im not sure if it will work for your little guy but it's worth a shot! good luck!!!

I had the same problem with my twins when we first started, they turned 3 in July and at that point I was still expecting our first little girl. Honestly I tried for a very long time over the course of their 2nd year, but had many many set backs. We would get to where they were wearing diapers only to sleep and undies the rest of the time, then something would change and they would start going in their pants again. I finally decided to use the reward method. Many told me that they were going to regress as soon as the baby got here and that I should wait, but honestly I felt it was time to get it done. I know many also dont agree with the reward method, but hey it was the only thing that worked for me. I started with the fruit juice popsicles and would cut them in half. My kids dont really do candy, they prefer fruit, so the only thing like that I could use were those little dumdum lollie pops if we were out or not near the freezer. When we started the process I took them to the store and showed them all the big boy undies and they each picked out one of their fav cartoons. They were in these ALL DAY. I found once we got going with it, if they were in a diaper or pullup they would think it was ok to wet, so the first week it was just the undies and a shirt, no pants. I put their potties in the living room where they play most often so they were always there to see. I started off asking them every hour if they needed to go potty. Of course the first few times they are going to wet in their undies, but directly after I would put them on the potty and show them that was where you go pee. I would have them sit a few minutes and even if they didnt do anything I would treat them and say "yay, pee pee in the potty!" If they had a BM in their undies I would put it in the potty before taking it to the toilet to show them that was where you go. They caught on very quickly to this. I have both the potty on the floor and one of the Kandoo training seats for the toilet and they would go back and fourth. Now I wont lie to you it took several weeks of this, but to my surprise one day I found my one son had gone into the bathroom taken down his training seat pulled up his stool and sat down to have a BM all by himself, and the other had just gone to the potty without me prompting him either. Gradually the need for treats diminished completely, but now that the new baby is here I have had to go back to it for a little while as we have had a few regressions. While I was in the hospital their daddy actually taught them to pee standing up so now we have moved to mainly the big toilet, as you can imagine a 3 yr olds aim is not to good..lol.. I hop this will help you, and remember boys will have LOTS of setbacks before it sinks in completely so try try again!!

My husband sits most of the time so he doesn't have to worry about the toilet seat and he won't miss. LOL He doesn't have to pee standing up, but when he's older you might teach him so he can use urinal ext. My hubby doesn't use them though. They DO have a little boy's training urinal (fisher price I think)

My oldest daughter potty trained right about 4 YO. My second will be 5 in February and is still not fully potty trained (always poops in potty but often pees in pullup/floor/panties.)

My third daughter is 3 1/2 and also only partially potty trained.

What about one of those neat cakes at the grocery store? I think they have an elaborate Batman one. You could let him pick out a cake and everytime he uses the potty he gets a sticker on his chart. When he stays dry all day for 7 days then he gets a cake! I figure if the kid can stay dry for 7 days he's officially potty trained and deserves a celebration!

There may still be accidents but he'll have it mostly down by then.

S., mom to 5

I am in the same boat. My son is about to turn 3 next month and we have been working on potty training for almost a year now. Strongly for the last 2 months. He was in pull ups and he would still go in them. I finally just stopped putting pull ups on him and putting "big boys" on. And every 15 to 30 mins I will ask him to go sit on the potty. Even if he says no we go in there and read a book or sing songs or something to take his mind off of the potty. I started him sitting and my husband has taught him about standing up. So now he stands to go and then if he has to go poop he will sit. I know we have at least one accident a day but it is almost better than wasting pull ups. We still use pull ups at night and he is starting to ge to the point he doesn't want a pull up on at night either. I has taken a lot of work. My daughter was a lot easier.

Hi P.,

My son potty trained much later than my daughter. I found that when I "let go" of the issue, he could let go, if you know what I mean. There are some cute kids' books about going on the potty that he might enjoy. I'd also say to him, "You are such a big boy, I know that when you are ready, you will use the potty". Then don't bring it up for a few days. Let ift be under his control. Or let him watch Daddy go. It will happen.

Good luck!

D.

We always did sitting down first. But, since he's already 3, you could do standing up. I wouldn't ask him if he has or wants to go. It should be a required thing. "It's time to go." If you're giving him a command, then he shouldn't be allowed to tell you no.