She cannot seem to leave bottles of creams and things alone. Luckily it's a hardwood floor, so it worked out ok, but last month it was any lotion she could get a hold of and my sheets on my bed still smelled like grapefruit after 4 or 5 washes and the month before that it was the desitin, which wiped off the fireplace ok, but we had to get the comforter professionally cleaned and it still didn't come all the way out. Usually I would make her clean up any mess she makes, but I could just see the glue getting spread around more and more, so I did it myself. But now I need an idea for a viable punishment, I don't know what to do about it besides just try really hard to keep everything put away where she can't reach it. I told my husband I wanted a shelf around every room in the house about 12 inches down from the ceiling that I could put stuff on that I didn't want the kids to get, but he just laughed at me :)
PS, should I be worried about some kind of sensory thing with this? It's just stuff that has a certain texture that she seems to like to smear around...maybe I should just let her fingerpaint more.
Thank you for all your comments and sympathies. I've come to the conclusion (especially since she will soon be followed in this phase by her almost two year old twin sisters) that I just have to keep everything put away where she for sure can't reach or I can lock up. I am going to have her keep helping clean up when she makes a mess, at least as much as she can, even if she just carries the paper towels to the trash for me I think that it's an appropriate consequence to learn that when you make a mess, you clean it up. She's actually pretty good at it. Anyway, thank you all.
These pages look as though they have a lot of good ideas...
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060900.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp
I would be more worried about a sensory problem if she didn't like the feel of the creams/lotions. Try showing her what she can do with lotion. Take a picture of one of the messses she has made and take a picture of her putting lotion on her hands and legs. Tell her the messy picture is what we cannot do with lotion and the picture of her putting it on her hands and arms is what we can do with lotion. The shelf idea is a good one too. Or you could just let her experiment:lotion/shaving cream on a messy tray (draw picts, lines, letters, shapes, numbers, and name). Hair Gelw/glitter in a zip lock baggie - dble bag and duck tap the zip lock part. Messy tray can be a cookie sheet, lid to a plastic box. Save empty pump bottles of lotion or baby bath. Let your child fill them with water at bath time and play with them in the tub.
I too am in the same boat. I have 4 y.o. son who loves to smear anything he can get his hands on. Just last night he got a hold of a brand new tube of toothpaste and squirted it all over the carpet. That was fun to clean up. I think it's the age. They love to explore and get into mischief. I would put anything you didn't want her to have in a tote or in a cabinet she can't get into. Just a clean up suggestion, my son got into my makeup case and smeared lipstick and eye makeup all over the fireplace. No cleaner would take it off. I finally got my steamer out and it worked like a charm.
I just had to rechild proof my house for the same reasons! I think 3 year old girls just want to be mommies and clean and help. She was into everything too and letting herself outside without telling anyone. We had to put the childproof locks on all cabinets and drawers in the bathrooms, kitchen and utility room. We also had to put chain locks on all the doors (she went out one day while I was showering at 6 am, I went down for coffee and caught her coming back in). At 3 they think they are big although they are still babies.
Since she does have a thing with bottles of stuff I put empty bottles in the tub and let her use them to spray and play in the tub. I also let her use my lotions and things while I am using them, it seems to give her a clue as to proper use.
So far 3 is far worse than the terrible 2s. She is just so mobile and sneaky. I feel for you.
First you need to know that punishment is not the appropriate idea...rather natural consequences that happen immediately following a behavior.
However, at age 3, an age where a human is just beginning to conceptualize the world through language so that it makes sense, punishment is totally inappropriate, mostly because of the side effects....
You will scare the kid and she will then do what all people do when attacked: feel revengeful, but also because she is infitesimal in size relation to you and is totally dependent upon you, she will just be left with conflicted emotions.
Three year old kids are not adults, and explore their world because it's amazing...they aren't exactly "hip" to the difference between Elmers glue and milk other than the consistency feels different as do the smells...hence she is just as likely to drink it as to play with it.
And don't expect her to remember what's right and what's wrong....
Simply make sure your stuff is totally, and I mean, totally
inaccessible to her. Lock it away from her...Period. Just like yoy probably put those plastic devices on your electrical outlets to prevent infant fingers from becoming electrocuted...
Think ahead of all the ways that your child can get into trouble and then prevent it....that is the solution.
Good Luck....
R. Katz, Psy.D.
www.richardkatz.org
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Weird. I'm A. B too.:) Well, my two and a half year old was doing the same thing and I was at my wits end. Totally ready to put shelves around the top of all my walls too! But, instead I decided to invest in some tupperware organizing sets. And it turned out you had to have a party to get the cool ones, so I looked into having one and ending up becoming a consultant myself. But, to the point, I think its totally normal and I've found the only solution is to get some bins that the kids can't get open (but are still stylish) and reorganize almost every room in my house like this.
I know its not the greatest advice, but I hope it helps a little. Good Luck.
I don't really have any answers for you, but if it is any consolation, my 3 yo does the same things. The desitin won't come out of the carpet. She has also been banned from any writing utensil unless we are sitting at a table together because she has twice now written with marker on my new couch that of course is tan!! I did do exactly what you said though, I have a shelf in the hall closet. I cleaned the shelf all up and put all of the paints, markers, glue, etc up on that. Lotion and stuff I just left on the top shelf in the baby room. My daughter is very stubborn and s really testing her autonomy right now. And, being winter she isn't able to get rid of all that energy! Try fingerpainting more. Maybe your daughter is just very creative! Hope this helps a little.
The only thing I can suggest is to give her an appropriate outlet, like the finger painting. Maybe you can use it as a reward, five days in a row without getting into unapproved creams and she can finger paint? How about a little hand lotion after every hand washing? I do keep all my empty jars(after they have been cleaned out) for my kids to play with, but mainly it is baking and cooking. My almost one year old has a thing for the vanilla bottle(a plastic one). I just cleaned it out very well and it still smells like vanilla. He carries it often. You can also try explaining to her how dangerous it will be for the new baby to have these things around the house. Make it a family project to keep the house safe for the baby.
As for a punishment, I think I would have to take something away that she treasures and then can earn it back. For my daughter it is her sparkly shoes. That works wonders with my three year old.
Good luck! Sounds like your house never has a dull moment!
I only have one child; however, when she was little her nickname was "the beast". We use paint that is easily washable without coming off. I would also suggest having an area in your house were kids can be kids. Use very old carpet, etc. Just remember that everytime they "spill" something a connection was made. Get down to their eye level and say something like it is ok. Help him/her clean it up and softly ask something like what can we do nextime so we do not spill this. Children learn so fast that we do not give them the credit that is due.
C. R
I wonder if it would help to have her help to make cookies and pour things into the batter or play with play-dough. I do not feel that she is old enough to learn from cleaning up the mess though. It is probably just making both of you more upset!
I do think that it is common for a lot of children to go through a lot of things like this.
Good Luck!!
Heheh, our three year old daughters should get together and have a tea party - with glue instead of tea.
I joke that E. is "goat girl" because she will eat ANYTHING. The taste of soap and shampoo does not deter her from sticking bottles and bars in her mouth. She also, of course, just loves to spill canola oil, diaper cream, hand cream, you name it.
I don't think this is a punishable offense. E. is trying to get some sort of oral/motor sensory need met. My suggestion is to try to provide your kiddo with alternatives. E. has a buckwheat pillow she can squish around or stand on, and a stuffed hedgehog that's very tactile ("skisshy"). I give her access to pla-doh, putty, and finger paints, and I let her "mixa-mixa" her own bowl of batter when I cook. (She can't do the art stuff unsupervised, or else...you know, Goat Girl, and everything goes in her mouth if I'm not there to correct her).
Otherwise, out of sight, out of mind. I know, it's annoying to have to hunt for hand lotion, but it's better than the alternative. Good luck!
A., I think this is just a growing fascination with pouring things and the way they look when poured. She probably likes the way it feels or looks when poured. Even as an adult, wouldnt it be fun to empty the entire tube of toothpaste just to feel it on your fingers or see how it looks in a mounds? KInd of like learning to make perfect ice cream goes at Dairy QUeen. :-) I say keep those things up, maybe find something she can pour, feel with her fingers, maybe cups and funnels in the tub. Moon sand might be a great idea..see what she thinks of that. I think maybe art classes is where i would go with this. She seems like she is helping "decorate" when i heard of the fireplace... I would just keep things up and out of reach and have certain things or places she can funnel and pour and feel..Even things like cornstarch have a neat texture to play with. Making playdough with flour, salt and a couple other ingredients might really excite her too..I doubt she is able to control the impulse to pour and squeeze..She is a normal kid, i do believe!
Good luck!
Sounds like she figured out a way to get "mommy time" all to herself.
Maybe try to have time with each kid every day, like 1/2 an hour just with them? It would be a juggle I'm sure. However, right now she is getting dedicated attention--even negative--that the other siblings are not.
Good luck!
Finger painting is a great idea. Always keep things-medicines, cleansers, scouring powders, makeup,and everything else that she can injest mommy. My kids were always in the kitchen cabinets. They only got pots and pans but I never had to worry about them putting something in their mouths that could hurt them. Even toys with pieces were "put up" where little fingers couldn't reach...don't want anything swallowed. She sees you using creams and lotions, glue, etc. She must want to be "mommy". She'll be o.k. p.s. I surely would NOT give her puddin paper plates! In the spring she'll be playing in the mud and eating it like it's pudding!!! Yuck
A.:
Your going to have to have high shelves and have someone else put them up for you. With that many little hands and feet in the house you need things high or in a locked cabinet (baby proff locks) or store in the garage. Little hands at that age love to explore....if they do get into things the shouldn't you need to do time out system. You could try telling them that if they leave certain things alone"No Touch" that they will get a reward of fingerpainting with pudding on paper plates. Have more of a possitive reward system and be consistant rather than punishments all the time....They need to be watched all of the time...as they are explorers.....
Good Luck.....Y.
