Hi all! I know that this is a subject that is brought up almost every day but I have yet to find a solution that works for us! My daughter goes to sleep between 7:30 & 8:00 completely exhausted and wiped out. She's then up a few times at night. Some times she goes right back to sleep. Other times she's up for an hour or more wanting me or my husband to sleep with her, hold her hand etc. She rolls around trying to sleep but can't. I would be fine sleeping with her if she'd actually sleep when she was with me! She complains of nightmares, the dark, she's hungry, thirsty, wants to play, she's too cold, too hot, etc. Every night is another excuse. Also, I always have to lay with her and hold her hand when she falls asleep.
I think we've "spoiled" her into thinking someone will always come to her. She's always had me, my husband, or her nanny all running to her. How do I "undo" all that so that she (and we) will sleep???
the info below is not to be taken as a replacement of professional homeopathic advice, but there is a homeopathic remedy called Cypripedium that is used for children who wake up in this manner at night. you may want to try select the potency based on guidelines of the place where you'll buy it from or consult homeopath to help you with that.
Good Luck
V.
We did the Sleep Easy Solution (www.sleepyplanet.com) because it aimed toward older toddlers and wasn't super harsh in just cutting them off. There was a DVD to watch so you could see exactly how the sleep trainers did it. For example, at first you keep going in, but don't go past the doorway so you can give encouragment but not give them hope that you are going to hold them, etc. There is also a little story so you can explain to them how you used to come in when they called but now things are going to change, etc. The DVD changed our lives! Our son became a great sleeper! Good luck :)
Give her a flashlight to have in bed with her.
Keep a cup of water in her room, prior to bed.
"Prep" everything prior to bed, in other words, with what she will ask for.
Let her sleep with a Lovey. Or as my daughter does, she likes to make a "nest" as she calls it, and has all her stuffed animals in bed with her. It makes her feel "cozy."
Or, leave on a night-light in her room.
If she wants to "play" tell her no, its bedtime. Keep everything turned OFF, and Dark, and "boring" and quiet. Try not even engaging in talking. Just keep mute.
Or, as my friend did.... when her son was this age, she simply told him "if you want water, you can get it yourself, If you need a light you have a flashlight in your bed" etc.
And for her son, that did the trick.
But, with 3 year olds, yes this is the start of "night time fears." It is developmental... you cannot "turn off" their imaginations, but you can talk to them about it to allay their fears. Fears of the dark or night time, will exist developmentally, even at older ages. But they do honestly get "scared." I remember feeling that way at that age. Its "real" to the child.
If you lay with her until she falls asleep.. that's fine... then gradually move away... meaning, sit in a chair in her room... then nearer and nearer to the door.
Kids, take time to lull asleep. They don't just sleep as soon as their head hits the pillow. Just like adults.
It will take time,
all the best,
Susan
In addition to trying the advice you have already received maybe get a clock/nightlight that you program for bedtime and wake up. We have the Good Nite Light ( www.goodnitelite.com ) but not sure I would give a rave review as after 6 mo. we are having problems with it. Was just now researching something along the same lines and found these: http://www.leapsandbounds.com/catalog/product.jsp?product... and http://www.americaninnovative.com/products/oktowake.php
Hope these links work!
Hope you all can get some rest soon!
Hi L.,
You didnt mention if your daughter watches t.v? If she is watching t.v and/or a video before bed, no matter what genre, STOP! There have been studies that show the subconscious brain becomes over active after exposure to the images on the screen. "Rollng around and can't sleep" is the tell tale sign that this could possibly be the result of t.v watching.
Try no t.v for a week. If that doesn't work, try get a dream catcher and hang it up in her room. This tactic will help her with the "nightmares."
Also, when she wakes, go to her, rather than her come to you. You will thus train her to fall asleep in her bed and not yours.
Since she is 3 yrs old, has she just started preschool? Any changes will trigger no sleep. She could be adjusting to the new environment. Are there any separation issues? Is she happy there? If this is the case, give it 1-2 weeks.
Good luck.
P.
I haven't had a chance to read the other replies, so I apologize if I'm giving the same info!
If your daughter is completely exhausted by bedtime, it's quite possible that you're putting her down too late. Try moving her bedtime up a little, to 7:00 or 7:15. Often kids who are overtired sleep worse than kids getting enough rest.
When she does wake up, it's important that you are consistent. If you sometimes get her water, turn the light on, bring extra blankets, etc, she will learn that she can always get something out of you if she whines enough. In order to undo it, you have to consistently not give in to the requests. Leave a small cup of water by her bed at bedtime so that she can have a sip of water if she gets thirsty. Leave a nightlight on to combat fear of the dark and put an extra blanket at the foot of her bed in case she is cold. Beyond that, anytime she calls for you or comes looking for you, calmly walk her back to her bed and say "Goodnight Sweetie, it's time to sleep now. Daddy and I love you and will see you in the morning." Hopefully within a few days, she will learn that crying and/or coming to you won't get her anywhere and she'll start sleeping better on her own.
Good luck!
K.
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My 3-year-old sleeps reasonably well, but the past couple weeks have been rough during the night. She gets like this when it is really warm during the night.
Hi
It sounds like she may be over tired. I know that was happening to my 3 year old about 2 months ago. She was going to bed at like 8:30 and it took her FOREVER to fall asleep, kept waking up etc. I changed her bedtime by 45 minutes and now she goes to bed NOT being exhausted. She is falling asleep by herself and sleeping all night! I blow pretend magic fairy dust in her room which is "makes her sleep all night like a big girl"...lol...it works...try it. Let me know!
Hi L., sweetie you just do it, no more running to her, no more holing her hard to sleep. no more laying down with or her with you, I do agree with you that you have spoiled her into thinking she has to always have someone around, the excusses are nothing less than her trying to manipulate, and so far it has been working. At 3 she is old enough to be taught bed time is bed time, and if you keep getting up there will be firm consiquiences, and then you follow through, I have given advice on this subject at least 100 times, but it still seems to come up quite often. Parents need to not be afraid to use old fashion discipline. We raised our children in the 80's and I got to tell you that was a time when children were children and parents were parents and the children knew the difference. I have been on mamasorce now for ever a year, and I am amazed on the issues with today's baby's and
tot's, most of the issues I'm reading about we non existing in my parenting days. I run a home day care and I have taught my young moms the way we did things in the old school days and they have adopted those ways and happy that they did. You mentioned seeing this subject many times but have found no solution that has worked, try something different, don't be afraid to show your daughter who is in charge and who isn't, if you want something to be different tomorrow, you have to do something different today. I haven raised 3 great children, and although I don't know everything, I do know what works because I have the living proof. J. L.
