My 3 Year Old Suddenly Terrified of the Bathtub

Hi J., have you tried switching bathrooms or switching to showering instead of bathing? Maybe a little change will throw him off the memory of the gnat.

Good luck!

L.

When my kids went through that stage we would have "speed baths". I'd run some water, and they would just stand there. I'd wet them, lather them, and rinse them as fast as I could like I was trying to break the world record. Eventually they thought it was funny, and would sit down to play. Good luck!

J.

Is there a separate shower? Get some of those none skid things for the bathtub and use them in the shower so he won't slip. maybe do some messy sensorythings in the bathtub so he can remember funin the tub.

Hi J.:
My sister has a girl whos autistic,and shes just precious.Shes very sensitive about certain things.While i understand you wanting him to overcome this fear,you can't hurry him.The more importance you put on this,the more skeptical he will be. I would give him sit baths. Just fill the sink and wash him down with a warm wash-rag.Give him a little time to forget about his bee incident,then after a little while try the tub again.Maybe put some new toys in with him or maybe you could get in with him.Theres no rush.Hes still very young,and that tub will be there forever.I wish you and your darlin son the best.

J.,

I see that all the time. I am a Special Education teacher in a local school district. The only way we can get our students over their fears is to slowly introduce or reintroduce them to the fear. Place him near the bathroom and slowly (days) move him closer and closer to the bathtub. Ask a local preschool if they have social stories that address this fear or there are many internet sites that have free social stories that you can create or download. Social stories address issues from picking noses to standing in line to just looking someone in the eye.

I personally can understand where he is coming from. I, just recently, was stung on the top of the head by a yellow jacket (for the first time in my life) with my daughter already strapped in to her carseat. I was so afraid of her getting stung that I drove my car about 100ft to get away from the swarm. Luckily there was someone there to help me and he ended up getting stung 2x instead of my daughter. I am not able to take conventional medication to help with the result of the sting so I was uncomfortable for much longer than most. Now whenever I see a bee (of any kind) my heart races and I become VERY protective of my child.

I hope that helps! Also, there are groups on the internet of other families who have children with all degrees of Autism.

M. P

Your motherly instincts that forcing into the tub will only make matters worse is right on target. Imagine if someone forced you to do something you were terrified to do. You are such a good mom to be so considerate of your son's feelings.

Sounds like you're going to have to get creative. Maybe you can set up a baby pool in the yard and bathe him there. Or maybe just go with sponge baths until this fear passes. Or you could try getting in the shower with him - in another bathroom if possible. Since it's still warm outside, maybe you could squirt each other with the hose in the backyard.

Once you get the fun back into bathing for a little while, he should forget about the fear and remember what a great time it is to splash in the tub.

Best of luck to you and your preicous little boy.

Hi J.,
I have a three year old daughter. She too has gone through a stage of being afraid of the bathtub. In fact she's gone through this a number of times. She is not autistic, just very imaginative.
One time she freaked in the tub because the bubbles did not cover the non-slip duckies (she thought they would bite her). Another time it was because her grandmother accidently opened the drain before she was out of the tub and she was convinced that she would be sucked down the drain. One other time the bubbles made the shape of a monster. Each time it took work and patience to get her back in the tub without screaming. This problem is not one of autism but I understand that your sons condition may make it more difficult to solve but here's what we do.

Usually we sit down and have a nice chat to "Mr Bathtub" sounds wierd I know but it works. She tells him what the problems are and he convinces her that she is safe and that he will take good care of her. Good luck.
J.

I would just switch up bathtime and give him a shower in another bathroom if you have one. He will need to get past this fear in his own time, but you still need to get him clean!! good luck!

Don't push him, whatever you do! His fear is not irrational to him, so you should not view it that way, either. If you have two bathrooms in the house, try the other tub. Try a shower, but none of my four would go for a shower alone until they were about 5. They were fine if I was with them. What about buying a bunch of fun new bath toys? What about the kitchen sink? Is it big enough to give him a bath in? Whatever you do, don't force him. Stop pressing the issue - even if he goes awhile with no bath, no harm will come to him. He probably just needs time to let the fear fade away.

I have a 19yo son who has Asperger Syndrome (High Functioning Autistic). I know the challenges....

Try putting him in an empty tub, plug in. Give him a large cup and let him fill the tub himself. It will give him the distraction and he'll be in the water long enough to get a washing at the same time.

Best of luck to you.

My nephew is autistic and LOVES water. Try getting a squirt bottle and putting it on mist so he can 'squirt the bees' away if he sees any. Tell him it's special to keep him safe in the tub. Good luck!

Hi J.,
I know a little bit about autism but not enough to give expert advice but generally speaking if there is something you can do to make the bath a fun place again like putting a few m an ms in a little bowl in the tub or a bottle of bubbles he can blow in there or even bathing with him and blowing bubbles and eating a treat in the bath together this might help him to change his association from scary things to fun things. I hope this helps.
Love and prayers,
C. :-)

Studies the phobias of autistic children, once they latch on to a fear it takes time & patience in getting them to over come it, they watch what you do, and if you paniced with the bee then he well panic, tell him you have search all over the bathroom and there isnt any bees or bugs and they belong out side, but BUT now here is the thing, he has to take a bath, explain to him that bath time is still going to happen, have him come into the bathroom to look for any bugs maybe buy him a bug bow, buy him some plastic toy bugs to play with, we used to bring in the tub the plastic little amy men, sometimes avon has some cute toys, I think toys r us has a big bag of cheap little plastic amy men & bugs have the amy men destroy the bugs attack attack !!! oops soory I was having fun. I have a son 19 cerebral palsy, mild mental retardation and high functioning autism.. Took us 4 yrs to get him to stop screaming ever time he heard the ice cream man come ... long story

Blessings

I also have a son with autism, and so I have plenty of experience with irrational reasons for being upset. I know from experience that you can't force him to get over it - it will take time. Just let him call the shots about bathtime and he'll soon forget - he's only 3, after all.

Hi J.,
When my son went through a fear like that, I got in the tub with him. It might help!

Good luck!

Let him see you physically get rid of one. Put one in a jar, napkin, whatever and say, "bye bye bee"

Hope this helps.

J.,
Try a spray bottle with water and let him spray it to get rid of the bees.
Hope that helps.
P.

I think in reading the other responses you have some great suggestions specific to the 'bee' situation. My response is more generic for you and all the others with autistic children. I now all are individuals of course, however a common help to many has been a drink called Durian Fusion. The durian fruit (odor neutralized, thank God!) mixed with these other fruits had done wonders in providing the children with the necessary protein and help to raise their melatonin and seratonin levels at the right time of day/night. Pls check it out: www.4healthygreenhome.com then click on: www.kingoffruits.com You can try it out @ 30% discount by contacting me. ###-###-####

We have 2 sons, neither one is autistic; however, one day my husband put a turtle they found outside in their bathtub. Both boys loved watching the turtle in the tub, when we were done the turtle went back outside. At bath time, neither one would get into that tub. They haven't taken a bath in that tub since. Fortunately we have another tub (in our room) that we have to use now. I tried a bunch of things to get them back into that tub and none worked. I am fairly certain that even tearing the thing out and putting a new one in, my kids will be taking baths in our tub. Needless to say I am extremely careful of what goes into our bathtub now, nothing but kids in the bathtub is our rule now! As for your problem, have you tried giving him some gnat/bee spray to spray around the tub before he takes his bath? Fill up a spray bottle with water and let him spray the area to make it safe for him. Let him keep it with him in the tub "just in case." Not sure if you want to start this as it may transfer to him wanting the spray when he is playing, sleeping etc.. but maybe if you tell him it will only work in the bath? Hope you find something that works!! Good luck.

I know what you are going through. Since all children w/ Autism respond differently, I can't say what worked for me will work for you. Have you been on the new website for social networking for those effected by autism (parents, teachers, individuals themselves)? Here is the website, I recommend signing yourself up, creating a page, and sharing your issues with others in similar situations: http://autismspeaksnetwork.ning.com

Anyway, something to try in the bathtub. (Similar to the idea of "monster spray" for under the bed and closets) Have you ever used "Tub colors" (check to see if your son wouldn't have allergies or other issues first). Tub colors are basically a non-staining dye in tablet form. My daughter had a magic wand to put the tablet in and then magically the tub water could change color. Maybe the magic of the colored water could be a protection from "bees"

Just one idea, but seriously try the autism website for more tips from families and professionals that have been there and done that -- given the autism issues -- parents of neuro-typical children often have no idea how challenging even the smallest issues can be.

Hi J., I have had a couple of childern in my daycare with Autism, the 3 year old I had, would have bouts where I could just not calm him down, I have hanging stuffed parrot in my living room that my husband gave me it's very colorful, put him in from of that and he was as calm as can be. For your little guy, let him stand up for now, bathe him while standing, try putting something in the bathroom, like my parrot, so he can get the focus of the gnat, (check the bathroom for gnatS first) and to something tht is calm and soothing, and let him sit when he is ready. J. L.

Dear J.,

Maybe you should give up the bath tub for a while, and use the kitchen sink and get a toy that looks like a funny bee, I don't know, just thought of the funny bee thingy. He is just not able to adjust right now, but he will later. Talking and explaining are not as effective as learning by experience , so maybe if you let him turn on the water in the bath tub, fill it with toys himself, and then put in your own foot and sit down and put up your arms to him.

They are a bit of love, aren't they? imagine what he is dealing with inside of his brain? He will do very well with a mother like you.

Sincerely, C. N.

Hi J.,

I have a 5-year old son who is high-functioning on the autism spectrum. He was first diagnosed at 25-months and we've been on the therapy bandwagon ever since. Here's what I'm thinking:

How long has it been since he was stung by the bee and the gnat in the bathroom incident? And has he never seen a flying insect near him between those two events. Chances are that if you have been outside or have had a fly in your house, your answer to the second question would probably be "No." If so, you may want to consider that his objection to bathing (avoidance) may be a result of a sensory issue (bath products smell to strong for him, doesn't like water poured over his head, feels weightless in the bathtub, towels scratch) going on or bathing is no longer a preferred activity for him. If it is a sensory issue, an occupational therapist may give you more insight into what's going on with him and how you can help his senses more equalized, so to speak.

If this is an avoidance issue, you can't let him off the hook since that pretty much establishes a precendent that says to him that every time he kicks up a fuss, he'll get what he wants (for you to back off and leave him alone) which, unfortunately, can't be the case because that's not how life works or how a parent/child relationship should be. So, being firm is important but so is using a lot of creativity, enthusiasm and fun to get him to want to comply. For example, when you mention that it is bath time and he starts fussing, you can get him to willing follow you to the bathtub by acting like the two of you are stomping on imaginary gnats together as you are walking there and once, you have him in the bathtub, you can continue the game by having the two of you splash imaginary gnats together. Make it as fun and as silly as possible and do what you can to distract him from the fact that what you are actually doing is giving him a bath. And immediately after the bath is all done, throw him up in the air, tickle him and make a big fuss (and I mean a BIG FUSS) about how great it is that he took a bath. Social reinforcement like this goes a long way in motivating your child to do the things that he may not want to do but you need him to do.

Nows the time that, if you haven't started an ABA program with your son yet, you may want to seriously consider it because as he gets older, he can become more set in his ways and resistant. When my son turned 3, we started seeing a lot of "behaviors" from him and we were starting to lose him to the autism. I held off on ABA until he was 4-years old because I had heard people say that it taught kids to become robotic. Once we started the program, however, I found that wasn't the case for my son at all -- possibly because he is high-functioning. In fact, it has really turned out to be a God send for us. That's when our son's communication, cognitive, social skills and level of engagement and complying really started to kick in.

I wish you the best of luck.

I am with the last mom, make it fun. Why does he have to sit anyway? You can clean All parts of him easier if he is standing, so lets turn it around and see the good in this. Make it fun and give him cups and let him play with the running water. Bath time will be shorter perhaps, but in the end it will be a much better experience than the fight. Soon, he will most likely forget the issue and sit down to play with all the toys and even then don't bring it up again. Just move on. I think the less you make of itm the less he will think of it. Good luck!

Maybe you could try giving him a shower for a while (if it's in another room.) Good luck! :)