My 3 Year Old Start to Have Recently Lots of Accidents

My daughter was in Preschool at that age.
She was also potty trained.
I was also pregnant at that time.
She ALSO had accidents at that time, at home and at school.
Her Preschool Teachers, did not flinch. They treated her with compassion and it was no biggie. They said kids that age have accidents. ALL kids do no matter what age or stage they are in with pottying.
They also get more distracted with activities at that age.

For my daughter, it was a combination of those NORMAL things... AND because I was having a baby.
We talked with her.
We told her its okay.
We comforted her.
We told her that we KNOW she is only a young child. She is NOT perfect nor do we expect her to be.
She, in a young child's mind with young child emotions... was simply "stressed" too... not knowing... what it will be like as a sibling and having a baby. SHE was having a baby too. Not only me.
We comforted her.
It was okay.
We told her to tell us ANYTHING she is feeling or worrying about. We are THERE for her and we understand.

Of course, you having a baby, affects the existing child.
For me, I spent a TON of time, on my daughter, BEFORE her baby brother came home. I also made sure to tell her that we do NOT "expect" anything from her nor expect her to be "older" even if she will be a sibling. She is a child herself. And I, before her brother was born, MADE sure, that she knew... we did NOT expect her to share and give everything to her baby brother. It is hers. It is special. I know that.
Kids... worry about things like that.
About their life, too. And how EVERYONE will "expect" things of them and from them... even if they are not ready for all those expectations.

Thus, my daughter adjusted REAL well, before her baby brother was born.
I consoled her and made sure, she knew... her routines and life, would be the same... but that Mommy will be busier. But that, SHE is my 1st baby. And that was true.

KNOW... that at 3 years old, a child's "emotions" are not even fully developed yet. Thus, they are not articulate about it nor know how they feel sometimes. And they won't know everything. Nor how they feel.
Go by HER cues.

For me, it was about my daughter having a baby.... versus "me" and focusing on me about it. I totally spent so much time on my daughter, to help her adjust, before her baby brother came home.
I even wrote down for her and my Husband, what to do etc., when Mommy is at the hospital, so that she felt "assured" about the whole thing. And not worried.
A young child, has SO many unknowns about this. It is their first time. And of them being an "only" child for 3-4 years, before they are a sibling.

Even after my son was born, I spent, MORE time on my daughter. Making sure, she was okay and adjusting. AND if she had problems, I did not tell her to stop it. I told her, I understand she is a child. She is not "older" but the same age, whether or not I had a baby or not.
She is her age. And she is okay and I love her.
An "eldest" child... NEEDS the Mommy more. Once baby comes home.
They are adjusting to SO much change. In their own life as a young child.
And I NEVER EVER, used my eldest child as an "example" for my youngest. That is too much "stress" on the eldest child, and not fair for them.
An eldest child, does not suddenly become "older" just because they have a baby sibling. Thus, expectations upon them... needs to be kept, within age-appropriate, expectations. And understanding.

My daughter would pee on the floor 30 seconds after she said no when I asked her if she needed to go. She was potty trained for about 6 months and then had a few months when she seemed to not be potty trained right before her sister was born. We kept a potty near her, so if she was playing in the living room I simply put the potty on a towel right next to her. We also had one in the car on one of those incontinence pads (great to have, they are about 3 feet by 3 feet and sell in bags of 10 at CVS and you throw them away when soiled, they are like a big flat diaper). We knew we were having another girl and named her, so we started talking about her as a person, not just "baby in the belly". At the hospital, we gave her a small gift "from her sister". I think it helped to make the new baby less of a mystery and a worry. But I think you are doing everything right, don't make a big deal out of it, make up the bed with several layers (incontinence pad, fitted sheet, incontinence pad, fitted sheet - so you can pull a wet layer off in the night and give her a dry bed quickly). We used a small electric blanket (again from CVS, about 1 foot squared) that I would put in the bed on high to make her warm after we wiped her with baby wipes and put her in dry clean PJ's. Then when I was done bringing laundry downstairs (sheets with pee will really stink in the morning) I would removed the heating pad and kiss her and tuck her in. We considered getting those cloth underwears with a big absorbent pad in the middle, but then I felt I might as well put her back in pull ups or simply put in a super absorbent Kotex - which we also did not do. I just had a bag with clean clothes and extra underwear and baby wipes with me at all times. We also did the hourly "sit on the potty just to try".

M., I just answered your other question. I wonder if she is feeling what is going on between you and your husband. His poor treatment of you may be causing her regression. Of course, it could just be knowing that baby is coming, but with your husband acting the way he is, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she is feeling insecure.

Many children regress after a sibling is born. Just keep giving her plenty of positive encouragement, and don't ever fuss about the accidents.

After the baby comes, pull out her baby pictures and show her how little she used to be, but look how big she is now! And how proud of her that you are! And how big girls get to eat "x" and little babies only get to drink milk. But one day her little sister will be big enough to play with her.

It'll help the jealousy. Hopefully things will ease up with your husband and she won't have as much stress.

Dawn