My 2 Year Old's Separation Anxiety

My daughter was exactly like yours. Before she started preschool, I started her in Gymboree in an art class that she did on her own. The first few weeks were the longest weeks of my life! I wanted to just stop taking her, but knew she needed to get used to not being right by my side. She would actually come running out of the room screaming & I'd tell her she had to go back in & stay with her teacher (I didn't say it very nicely either). She cried almost every class the first few weeks & I felt like the meanest mom in the world.

Well, it all was for the best and now she goes to dance & preschool without a second thought. Just stick with it. Your daughter needs time and doing it at 2 will be easier than waiting until she's older. You're doing the right thing!

Jan
www.discoverytoyslink.com/janward

E.,
I am pregnant with my third daughter, and I know what you are going through. I think you are probably doing the same thing I did with my first, and that is you're making a big deal out of leaving her if that makes any sense. Kids are very bright and can pick up on the slightest behavioral changes in their parents. You shouldn't try to "prepare" her to be separated, just go on with getting her ready like you would if you were going to do an activity together. When you get to the destination walk her in calmly and with little emotion tell her ok, go have your special big girl time, and just go. It will be difficult the first few times because your mommy instinct tells you to comfort her, but you're absolutely right she cannot cling to you forever. She is not in danger and you know that she enjoys the class once her initial shock wears off. It will be healthier for her development and your sanity if you stick to your guns and show her that she can function for a short time without you. Just be strong when you're in the situation and do not show her any emotion, be stern if you have to. I know it sounds mean, but I promise it works.

I understand your anxiety, but here is what I found works best from experience as a Sunday School teacher and a mother of a 4 yr old and 1 year old. Drop her off, tell her you love her and that you will be back....then leave! No more conversation, you are just dragging out the enevadble. Like you said she will be fine after you leave. So just leave quickly and the stressful situation for both of you will end sooner. This is normal. I know it breaks your heart but you just gotta let go and leave her. I have found that vehicle drop offs work wonders for my 4 year old. Does her dance class offer that? Maybe you can ask them to do that for you for about a month. I would set up that I call ahead and say that I am out front please send someone to get her. You don't get out of the car, let them get her and take her in. Can you watch her from a room where she can't see you? After she goes in and you know the class has started then go in and watch her with out her knowing you are there. You will be surprised how different she is, not knowing your not there. I know that at 2 this may not be an option, but it's work checking with the dance instructor. My son's school reccomends not walking him to class at all for the first 5 to 6 weeks. I have found it to be true. If I walk him to class, he clings to me and cries (yes even at 4, some kids are more sensitive than others), if I drop him off from the car to the teacher no problem. there is a physical disconnect. Don't worry, she will not stay clinged to you for the rest of her life!! that is a guaruntee, just ask moms that have raised children, they know this moment in life is very short, it all works out in the end. Good Luck...I am sure other moms will have some other great advise that you can try.

I think this is normal. Most dance studios won't even enroll a child until they are 3 and potty trained. One of my sons did that until he was about 3-4. He had a fit every time I tried to enroll him in anything as a toddler. He eventually grew out of it. He was so bad, that my friends would refuse to babysit him. They would say he cried and "hung on the doornob" all night. I felt so guilty when I left him anywhere. He is 21 years old now and so outgoing, that even adults loved to be around him as a teenager. I am sure that by the time she is 3, she will be OK with separation. Good luck!