My 2 Year Old Son Hitting at Daycare

This is a very natural reaction to feelings of frustration. Your son is just dealing with other children at daycare and realizing that he is actually not the center of the universe and that occasionally, that he will have issues with others doing things that he doesn't like or want. My daughter, 2, has been a hitter, on occasion and has also recently, starting biting now and then... since she has been bitten at daycare by other children a half a dozen times or more. On the one hand, I truly believe in them learning how to fight their own battles, and then, of course, we need to teach them what is appropriate and not and when.

So, my advice... find the book "The Way I Feel" and discuss your son's emotions with him... so that he has a name to call those things inside himself. This will help a lot. Also, give him constructive ways to deal with his frustration and anger. My daughter knows that she has a soft, frog chair in her room that it's "okay" to hit when she feels those feelings... but ONLY that... not me, not her friends, not throwing, hitting, kicking, etc. Just hitting froggy chair. Also, suggest some other acceptable behavior when angry or frustrated, like "stomping feet or roaring like a dinosaur"... these things will help him appropriately deal with his feelings without acting out against others. Also, discipline him when he makes mistakes about what he does. Time outs when hitting happens, talking to him about what has gone on during the day at school will help and just acknowledging that it's hard for him to find words (but helping him do so) to express himself.

Good luck!
K.

While I agree with the other 2 responses, that this is "normal" for a child that age, I still agree with your instinct to find the root of the problem. Hitting is a sign of anger, frustration etc. I bought a little blow up kicking/punching bag for my little guy. I explained that it is the ONLY thing he is "allowed" to hit. At first I played with it with him and would talk about things that made me mad (like when the car cut me off in traffic, or they didnt have my favorite food at the store etc... When he plays with it, I usually talk to him and casually ask him questions. What did you like about your day? What didnt you like? What do you wish would happen, wouldnt happen etc... You would be surprised what comes up! And sometimes its different stuff - sometimes its because I rushed him the AM, or because Daddy had to go out of town and didnt take him, or kids at school made him mad etc... I think its important for kids to know that getting angry is normal and healthy as long as you deal with it in healthy ways. I have never told him that its NOT ok to be mad, its just not ok to hit. I always try to first empathize with him and his feelings, then deal with the behavoir with constructive critism. Sounds like you have a wonderful family - good luck with it - it only gets better :-)

In my experience (which is having 2 two year olds, in a daycare class full of two year olds) hitting is pretty normal for this age. As long as he's not incredibly aggressive, I'm not sure I'd worry so much about it. I mean, obviously you want to let him know hitting is not ok, but I really do think it's par for the course for kids this age!

It is normal at that age. Whatever yu do with him at home, you could explain to his teacher. If there is a way you can "see it coming" then you could share that with his teacher too. There's no good telling you after the fact. He can't be reprimanded later. It needs to happen when he has hit someone. A gentle reminder "We don't hit our friends"

You know, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Don't be suprised about the "acting out" thing. Children are very resilient. He will be able to cope with it if you can cope with it.

My son is shy and sweet. He went through a hitting and then a biting phase. He's a very good student. Don't worry too much. I would tell the teacher that I am aware of it, this is what I do at home, This is how I would like her to forsee and or handle it......and then relax.(also, WHO is your son hitting? That might play in. Some kids instigate that as well)

I have been through this same behavior with my son in the Fall. I had been really busy when it occured. I took him out of daycare for a few days and spent time with him. We also talked about making his hands sharing and caring hands. I remind him each morning of school to put his sharing and caring hands on, and he has done great. It probably depends on whether your son is a pleaser or not. My son loves to please me and his teachers. You may have to do more consequences, but communication is always the beginning point to me. I also reward my son when he makes it through a week with his caring hands. (I even had a friend who would draw eyes and a nose on her son's hands to help him visualize that his hands were to be kind.)
Hope this helps in some way. They all outgrow it with a little direction from you.