Someone recently posted a similar question to this but the responses seem to focus on falling out of bed so I thought I'd post my own question....
My daughter has had absolutely no problems sleeping in her room/bed until recently. Now she won't sleep at all! We don't want to bring her into our bed to start that habbit so we've been resorting to sleeping on the floor next to her bed. Problem is that as soon as we get up to leave, she wakes up! Don't know how or why she hears us leave because she'll be sound asleep and we won't make any noise and she still wakes up when we leave. When she finds out we've left she freaks out and becomes panicked! She'll also be wide awake and sometimes want to play once she's calmed down. It takes forever for her to fall back to sleep. It's getting a little worse now as last night she wouldn't sleep unless someone was at least holding her hand. We already have a night light in her room and she already has a favorite doll and blanket that she sleeps with. My husband and I are exhausted! Any advice? Is this just a phase that some kids go through or is there something wrong? My husband asks if she's scared and she says yes but can't explain why she's scared. We need sleep!!!!!
My step-son is a light sleeper. Add my night owl hubby and squeeky hardwood floors... We started to run a fan in his room at night for the noise and it helps a lot. I hope you get some rest before the new one comes!
First, use your pediatric nursing skills to be sure that she doesn't have a medical problem. If there is nothing wrong with her medically, then you should be comfortable with helping her modify her behavior so that she fits into the family better. This will require that you and your husband get on the same page with what your response will be to her getting out of bed, or having a fit, and you must be 100% consistent. If you always lie with her so she will go to sleep, her expectation is that you will sleep with her, so when she stirs and notices that you are not there she will be upset. It doesn't mean that you cannot lie down with her, but it does mean that you must explain to her that you will not stay in her room, or you could take care of this by moving her bed into your room and going to bed when she does. You could put a night light in her room, or the hallway so when she wakens she will not be disoriented and afraid. Tricia's suggestion to put a fan in her room is excellent. You could let her cry and refuse to respond and eventually, probably within one week's time, she will stop using that method to get her way. We all learn through practice what works and what doesn't work, and we will continue using methods proven to work to get the outcome we desire. Small children are masters at this but it is not something we outgrow; children just use more overt behavior as a means to an end. She is probably more mad than scared, but if you have put scared into the mix, and that works better than exhibiting anger, she will use scared. The bottom line is that, yes, this is one of the delightful stages small children go through. Remember that your job as parents is to help her fit into your family, not rule your family.
Dear J.,
Nicky gave you some great advice...your daughter has you right where she wants you....sleeping in her room. A 2 year old is no different than a baby when they sometimes decide that they aren't going to sleep...after making sure there is nothing medically wrong with them you have to stick to your guns and be consistent and follow through with letting them know that they need to go to sleep in their bed without you. If you do this consistently you will be shaking your head at yourself in just a few days wondering why you went through so many days & nights of being exhausted.
C.
My son started dreaming (and being able to say he was dreaming) just after he turned two. He would wake up crying and I would ask him if he was seeing pictures behind his eyes when he was sleeping. He would be able to tell me some of the things he was seeing in his sleep.
Fast forward 5 months, and he is now beginning to have a very active imagination- he has recently described a dragon to me that was in the room while I was there. I was able to suggest that maybe the dragon was there to bring us flowers to smell, and my son seemed to accept that and it helped him be less afraid.
Maybe your daughter is beginning to imagine things or is having dreams that frighten her.
(I co-sleep, so I am afraid I can't give you any practical advice of that sort, but I thought I'd mention what we are going through in case it gives you any insight.)
It may be that she is unsure of how to deal with the emotions of expecting a sibling. My son was 20 months when my daughter was born, but I noticed that he had issues sleeping during the final months of my pregnancy. (He also wanted a pacifer again after not having one for close to a year.) We actually gave in and let him sleep in our bed. It wasn't what we wanted but we just wanted to sleep. After my daughter was born he started staying in his bed again until we moved to a new place and he started waking up again. We've been here 6 months and now we finally have our bed to ourselves most nights. I wish I had a solution instead of just similar experience.
I agree with running a fan for noise or a sound machine/white noise. Maybe have her pick a blanket out at the store for her bed, she may want to use it more. When my 3 year old started becoming afraid of things at night, he'd say, Don't leave, I might get scared." If you're a Christian family, you could try what we did. I'd say, in a smiley voice, "You won't get scared. You know why? (and then sing) 'You've got the love of Jesus down in your heart' song. I'd tell him confidently that Jesus will take care of him while he sleeps. And it did make him feel better.
