My 2 1/2 Year Old Wont Stay in Her New Big Girl Bed

J.,

It sounds like you tried to do everything "right" or as they suggest. I'm not a fan of locking kids in the room as that can create a feeling of being trapped and fear. I'm borderline claustrophobic, though so I may be sensitive. (lol)

If I were you, I'd go back to the beginning and just keep putting her back in bed. No words. No eye contact, nothing. Keep it up regardless as to how hard she tries to win.

When we switched my son over a couple of months ago, I put him in bed, left the room and left the door open a crack to peek in. As soon as his feet hit the floor, I went in and scooped him up and put him back. I never said a word. He thought it was a game. He would laugh. He would wave and say, "Hiiiiiiii!" when we came in. He would hover his feet over the floor and look at the door, tempting us...but we kept it up. My husband and I both did it so he knew that we were on the same page. It took about 30 minutes the second night, and gradually went down over about 3 days. At this point, he rarely gets out of bed until morning.

If that doesn't work...what about back in the crib? Was she climbing out? If she's old enough to understand how to call you names and push you to this point, she can understand if you tell her that since she's not acting like a "big girl" then she can't sleep in a "big girl" bed.

Just a thought.

Good luck.

T.

I had this exact same problem when we switched our daughter to a big girl bed at 2-1/2. She was such a great sleeper until we put her in her big girl bed. We always had a routine that we continued when we put her in the big girl bed, but she refused to sleep in the bed. I talked to the doctor and he gave me a couple of options. The one option he recommended is the "Supernanny" method which is where when they come out bed, you just walk them back in their room without talking and put them in the bed. We tried this with my daughter and did it for three nights. We did it for an hour or more each night and it never worked. On the third night she climbed over her bed railing and fell on her head and my husband and I both agreed that that wasn't working. BUT it may work with you.

The second method my doctor recommended was putting a chair next to her bed and sit in it until she falls asleep. You don't talk or touch them, but just let them know you are there. Then every couple of nights move the chair away from the bed to the point where you are at the door. I did this for two months with my daughter and again it didn't work. She kept getting out of bed and would take absolutely forever to fall asleep even though she was EXHAUSTED! As you can tell, I have what is known as a "strong-willed child." :-)

So, after all that didn't work, I decided to lay with her until she falls asleep. She doesn't nap anymore so she's usually out within 10 minutes and I know I shouldn't be doing it, but my mothering instincts tell me otherwise. She is (and will be) our only child so we don't have to worry about any other children to put to bed. All I can say is do what YOU feel is right. It has saved me a lot of heartache and stress in the long run. Good luck ~ I truly know how frustrating it can be. :-)

Well I must be one of those mean mommys. I would not pussy foot around with the big girl bed issues. It would be "stay in bed or I will put you back in your BABY bed". But would do it with a crib net for safty and a form of punishment and stick to it. Give her one chance to return to the big girl bed and if she stays fine if not back to the BABY bed and net it and walk away. Let her scream her stubborness out and show her you mean business and your going to stick to your words. If she is calling you names then you have bigger issues than the bedtime problem. You have to teach her you are the adult and are the boss not her. I use the 1,2,3, magic method with my kids and after 4 of them all I have to do is say the child's name and say thats 1 and they are on it. I have two of these 4 that are ADD and OD. So yeah it's been a long road but I run the house and ppl say I have some of the most well behave children and they are so loveable. We have a great family life and lots of OLD FASHION FAMILY FUN. You know, hide in go seek in the dark, family bike rides and even cranking up the stereo and dancing in the living room, they even get Daddy to dance along and he really can't dance but we don't tell him,lol. Mom has a chore list every day for them and in the spring we have clean up weekend picking up limbs so we can mow ,getting things in order for the outside work and they help with the gardening, the 8 flower beds we have and help me can during harvest. We are a old fashion family that have children that help us. That is hard to find anymore. So if being the mean ole' mommy makes them respectable citizens then so be it. Hope this helped in some way.

I had the same problem with my daughter at about the same age. I put her to bed and a few minutes later, there she was, over and over again. What worked for me, believe it or not, was to sit down and talk to her and tell her she has to stay in bed. I told her she could call to me, but she could not get out of bed. She called to me for the first few nights - to make sure I was still there, I guess. I don't know why it worked, but it did.
Good luck.

Wow I'm sorry but I have to weigh in on a strongly opposed view to locking your kid in thier room. I can't believe anybody resorts to that. I think there may be deeper problems in the way you are relating to your child if you have that little say over what they do, day or night. In other words, the problem may be in other areas.
In my experience if your bond to your child is strong they will want to please you. If you make it clear what the deal is with bedtime they should be able to do what is asked of them. There should be a strong routine, and they should be tired! Sometimes I think these kids are just sitting around all day and that's why they don't sleep. At that age my little guy was exhausted by bed time; after our bedtime routine and some cuddling by Mom he was usually half asleep already. But all children are different. They should be safe and comfortable at night, and they should know that Mom means what she says.

I am envious of anyone who has a kid who will stay in bed the first time he tries it. It seems before in a criby, they couldn't get out on their own.. and now they can, so they do. I know this isn't much help but here's my advice: She will get over it. When my kids moved to the "big kid bed" it was a parade up and down the hall all night. I agreed to lay down on their bed for 5 min each. At the end of that time.. which can be as little as 2 min or as much as 10 .. because they don't tell time you can get away with it. Keep a night light on.. offer a lovey .. then go back to your bed. She will probably protest again, but stick to your guns and she'll get the hang of it eventually.

We waited until my daughter was a few months after her 3rd birthday. She loved her crib, was a great sleeper and when we made the transition, she was old enough to be talked to about staying in her bed. She stays in her bed until 7:00, I wrote the time on a notecard next to her clock. She calls in the night if she needs anything and so far we have had no problems. I feel like some of my friends push the getting out of the crib and then loose the nap and have bedtime issues. We shall she if our 2nd daughter will be the same (I know all kids are different), but we plan on keeping her in her crib for as long as possible too. On a side note, my kids are not allowed to walk around with lovies or pacifiers, so the only time they get those things is in bed. I think that may help keep them there, b/c they are enjoying them.

Good Luck

I have a son that will be 3 in March. He started climbing out of his crib at about 19 months. I did everything by the book. I must have the most stubborn child alive. I would pick him up, not say a word, and put him back in. I swear he would climb out 40 times a night (I actually counted one time). Anyway I dont' think my friends even believed me until one day he was in his room for a nap and a friend came over. While she sat in the living room he climbed out of his crib 19 times in one hour.

Eventually I put him in a big boy bed as I was afraid he would get hurt climbing out. Of course he just came right to my bed every time he woke up. I again tried everything I see on "The Nanny" :) Just turned his little bottom around and marched him back, no talking, no kisses. This continued with him getting up about 7 times a night for about 2 weeks. I gave in and let him sleep with me at that point. I'm recently divorced and it was just too much.

Well this little bugger is all over me in bed, plays with my hair, kisses me (or at least tries to, usually end up givng me a head butt), kicks me, drives his litte toes under my stomach. Such a stinker, neither of us was getting any sleep. So I asked my doctor, whom I love by the way, and he said you have to shut him in his room. He will cry one night and then be done. NO WAY. I could not do it. So 6 more months of no sleep for mommy. I tried putting an air mattress in my room on the floor for him, climbed up with me. I was seeking advice at the grocery store. Nothing worked. We tried toddler bed, full sized bed, new pillows, let him pick a new comfortor: nothing worked.

Well as I thought I was going to lose my mind. . . so I said I would try it ONE time. I shut his door, put the TV monitor on him so I could see him, and went to bed. He got up and was so mad at me. He yelled, he cried, he tried pretending like he was funny, throwing out knock knock jokes "mommy, knock, knock, who's there, its me, I"m in my room, come and get me". I was absolutely balling. It lasted about 20 mintues, I thought I would lose my mind, worst 20 mintues of my life. He looked around, got back in bed and went to sleep. Got up at 8:00am the next day, called for me and I went in to get him.

I've Told him to stay in bed until the sun comes up. Its been 1 month and that little guy of mine has not gotten up one time since the first night. He is not afraid of his room, he goes to bed no problem. He gets up and yells for me and says "its morning, sun's up" at about 7am every day. No drama, no hassles.

Point is... try everything you can to not shut the door. Your child may be less stubborn then mine. But as I learned sometimes you might have to try something to stay sane. I honestly could say it went completely against my mothering instincts. I am so in favor of following your motherly instincts. This is the one time I did not and we are both much happier now that I did this. A well rested child is a happy child. Good luck.

Yeah, I wouldn't make her feel trapped in any way either. That could be scary for her, plus its not very safe. Also, you don't want to start making her associate bedtime with bad time/punishment. I would try putting her back in the crib for a week or two, and then trying again. My daughter is 21 months old, and I also have a son that is 8 months old. The toddler bed was not really working out because she kept jumping out and running back into my room. So I would literally keep putting her back until she fell asleep. But that was just too frustrating, so I have had to start over a few times. What I have started doing is letting her fall asleep in the crib, and then transferring her into the bed when she is asleep. That works for me. Good luck!