My 2 1/2 Year Old Son Is NOT Interested in Potty Training

Updated on July 28, 2011
P.H. asks from Fort Worth, TX
24 answers

Hello out there!! I have a 2 1/2 year old son who is not interested in potty training whatsoever!! I've encouraged sitting on the potty many times and he even used the potty once and we rejoiced, praised and treated him for it and has not been interested even after that. I'm just wondering if this will truly happen when he's ready or if there is something that I need to be doing to encourage him more.

Please help!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

2 moms found this helpful

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R.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

He's still SO young. Don't push it. My son trained at exactly 3.5 and it took him ONE day with NO accidents. It just clicked. He asked for underwear and was done. I know it sucks to have to wait, but I promise it's worth waiting until they are ready instead of trying to push them and spend weeks or even months dealing with accidents and stress!

7 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Don't sweat it, try again later :D My son was that age and not having it either. I told him, 'Ok, sweets we will try again when you get a little older.' I put the potty away and put him back in diapers. He trained right at his third birthday in three days. No worries, you are still perfectly fine timewise :D

5 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

My son was trained at 3 1/2.
He just wasn't ready before 3.
He'll be ready when he's ready and nothing can make him ready any faster.

5 moms found this helpful

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

8 moms found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Provo on

Ok . . .so he's not ready. He will eventually and don't push it. He needs to do it on his own time and not yours.

8 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

He's not ready, so he is not ready.
Boys are OFTEN, later in this process.
I have a boy.

I just kept a potty chair, (because it is portable), out in any room my son was in. Just so he got used to looking at it and playing around it.
I didn't mention anything about it.
He knew what it was for.
Then when my son was ready... well, you will know.
Not forcing.
My son, did it on his own... and over TIME... the frequency of him going on it, increased, According to HIS timing of it.
Not mine.

Keep in mind, it can take MONTHS for a child to get used to it and the whole process.
AND it is a biological, process.
And night time dryness... is separate from day time pottying. Night time dryness, does not occur, until even 7 years old, because....it is a PHYSIOLOGICAL, development.
So until then, a child still wears night time diapers, for naps and bedtime.
Normal.
They do NOT get confused about diapers for sleep.
My kids, never did.
I simply tell them, their body is not ready to be dry at night.
AND I use, waterproof bed pads, directly under them, in case the night diaper leaks. AND for accidents.

ALSO keep in mind, that even if a child IS potty trained... a child DOES and will have, accidents.
NORMAL.
Even in Preschool/Kindergarten/1st Grade, ALL of my daughter's Teachers said, kids these ages, have accidents... at home, at school. It is normal.
This is childhood.
TOTAL 100% control over their bladder or bowels, are still, developing. Even if, potty trained.

6 moms found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Lots of playful "pre-training" may be all that's appropriate for him for now. Demonstrating what a potty is for, enjoying stories and videos, potty parties with his stuffed toys and super-heroes taking their turns. Readiness develops on several levels before success can happen. It's physical, neurological, verbal and emotional. A child lacking in any of those areas probably won't be successful, no matter how dedicated the parents are to the process. (For this reason, children with auditory/speech delays often train later than other kids.)

But kids who are allowed to reach "readiness" will let parents know when they are interested, and are generally quickest to train. My daughter informed me when she was ready (shortly after 2.5 years, as I recall), and she learned to use the potty in a couple of days. My grandson showed interest a few months later, and was also accident-free in a few days. The age range for readiness is wide, between 22 months and 4+ years, with girls often earlier than boys. (It's helpful to know that poop training is often separate and later, and night training is a myth – the body stays dry at night when certain systems have matured enough.)

Kids who are started because their parents think they should be ready may be 'training' for months. This consists of the parents reminding and accompanying them to the bathroom regularly, so it's really the parents who are being trained. When the child is ready, he wants to make that developmental achievement, just like when he was ready to crawl, walk or talk. Pushing a child to learn anything faster than he's actually ready for is a set-up for discouragement and failure.

Here's a wonderful, informative website you might find helpful. It gives a few variations on"readiness" checklists, plus tips on various training strategies, the best ages to start them, and the advantages and disadvantages of each approach: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

5 moms found this helpful
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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

Wait a little longer. Our son was almost 3 before he was ready and it was a breeze. It took only two weeks to be completely trained. (To me, they aren't trained until they are doing both consistently in the potty.)

We tried when he was about 2 1/2 and he was NOT interested. It was so frustrating.

5 moms found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

He's still pretty young. I don't see a problem with having a little potty in your bathroom, and talking about it with him. But seriously, if you wait until he's ready (and trust me, it'll be pretty obvious) then it'll probably only take a day or two. Why bother spending weeks/months on it? Waste of time in my opinion. I have 2 girls - one trained at 2 3/4 and the other was exactly 3. And I've heard boys often train later (but what do I know? since I don't have one!) Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful
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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

My son turned 3 in May and we have just started potty training with him. He was not interested when he was younger, and is very strong willed. It just was not worth it to me to spend months fighting with him about it.

Let it go - he will do it when he is ready. As my Grammy said, "He wont go into the Army not potty trained."

4 moms found this helpful

L.C.

answers from Houston on

One day it will just "click" and he will get it and want to potty. Teach him about what to do and practice when you can or when you think he might need to go. It'll happen.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.T.

answers from Detroit on

I have twin boys who will be 4 in October. We have just mastered potty training the last month. As another mother said, you will know when they are ready, you really will. I didn't not believe this to be true and did the 3 day boot camp, and had the dvd's when that did not work, and did EVERYTHING!! Then I realized, I got it! They were ready to pee and loved peeing on the potty...the poop took a week or so for one of my guys as he was afraid but once it happened...YAAAYYY!!
Good Luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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T.P.

answers from Dallas on

While it might be easier to wait - some of us don't have that luxury. I work and my son's daycare requires he be fully potty trained by age 3. So, I used the same tactic with both my sons and it worked perfectly both times. There is one week during the summer we spend the entire week at the lake (our family reunion). I take only underwear, no diapers, that week and since we are at the lake and I am with him 24/7 (consistency) we go potty every hour while awake and by day 2 or 3 there are no more accidents and he can begin to tell us when he needs to go. Also, since he is a boy he can go outside so I found a "really cool" rock - the potty rock - to make it more interesting ... Good luck!! Honestly, just put him in underwear and remain consistent and it'll happen pretty quickly. Oh, we also used M&Ms as an incentive. One M&M for going tee-tee in the actual potty and 3 M&Ms for going poo-poo in the potty. A full day of no accidents and he gets a cool sticker ...

3 moms found this helpful

A.H.

answers from Portland on

He will truly do it when he wants to. Also my daughter is 2 1/2 and she seemed to have no interest in the potty, it was short of dragging her to get her to sit on it (of course I didn't lol). I took her diapers off and she had her shorts on with no diaper and she started using the potty on her own without me saying a word. She'd come get me after she peed and I'd say good job you are so good at peeing in the potty. She was ready she just didn't want to feel like I was making her do it, so to speak. I remind her every now and then and say don't forget to use the potty when you need to pee/poop. She has had one accident this past week.
He is young though. I wouldn't push if he isn't havin it.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

It is his ballgame. If he wants to play then he will. 2.5 is a little young so just hold on for a while and try to introduce it again in a couple months.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't understand the 'interested' thing. My son never showed interest in the toilet. When he was 25 months, we put him in underwear and took him to the bathroom when he woke up, after he ate and every couple of hours. It was 3-4 days of frequent accidents, a few accidents over the rest of the week and done. I also noticed that my son never showed any interest in tooth brushing. And yet I never received advice that he was 'not ready' and we should wait to brush his teeth for another 6-12 months. The average age of toilet training in the US was 18 months before we all used disposable diapers. More than 1/2 of the world's children are trained before 12 months of age.

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

He isn't ready yet. Just back off and wait. Boys usuallyblearn later than girls and 2 1/2 is still young!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

As hard as it is, you are better off waiting for him to show more interest on his own. You can have the potty there, he can see you guys use the potty so he understands what it is for and you can talk about him someday being a big boy and going on the potty and not needing diapers any more. Many times boys take longer than girls (though not always!) and my daughter was 3 1/2 before she seemed to have enough bladder control for us to push the potty training a bit more. What worked for us at that point was to just have her in underpants, let her feel what it was like to get wet and make a mess, and then she decided that she was better off going on the potty. If he is getting closer to 3 1/2 or 4 and you want to start him in preschool and he's still not trained, you could always try the "cold turkey" method - it worked for our DD, she had it down in 3 or 4 days.

1 mom found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

you can enourage it. but it's soooo much easier when they express an interest. Some things you can do to enccourage are put him on the potty 1st thing when he wakes up. Read to him while he's on the potty to encourage him to sit long enough for something to happen. Praise as you have been when it does. Put him on thier often. Take him to the bathroom everytime you go, so he can see you sitting down to pee.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Honestly, just wait. When my son was 2.5 and 2.75, I thought he was ready. But every time I asked him if he wanted to try the potty, he said "no, I'll do it when I'm 3." Sure enough, two days after his third birthday, I put him in underwear. He had one accident and has been fully trained ever since.

It is common for boys to train closer to their 3rd birthdays. Let it go, stop talking about it for awhile, and then try again in a few months.

1 mom found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I found this article awhile back on kidshealth.org, and it helps to know and recognize the readiness signs, it helped me. I liked that it gives you the option to listen to it, too, rather than just read it ; )
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/toilet_tea...

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

In my opinion, 2.5 is young still for MOST boys. Now that doesn't mean that some can't get it accomplished. But I think boys for the most part should begin later and the pace should be slower...take your time with him. You'll see signs in him when he's truly ready. Maybe back off the pressure and try a regular routine of training again when he's a solid 3YO.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

I would lay off until he is at least 3 . I didn't even attempt it with my girls until 3 or 3 1/2 and then it went easy peazy. Potty trained in 1 day.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.H.

answers from Tyler on

My almost 3 year old grandson is the same way.

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