My 2 1/2 Year Old Daughter Is Going Through a Major Power Struggle Stage.

Is she teething? Is she over-tired? Is she hungry? Make sure you've done everything in your power to make her feel well. And make it a point to give her some positive, one-on-one interaction during the day so she's not misbehaving to get your attention. We just got over this stage with my two-year-old, and some extra love, food, and Tylenol went a long way. Good luck.

I would strongly suggest you read or rent the video for "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. I just recently saw the author of this book give a talk, and it was great. We have implemented a lot of the tactics with our almost two year old and have had great success. Some things feel very strange to do, but it does seem to work. To lessen the number of power struggles, you need to let your daughter win some battles during the day to things that aren't important. As a two year old, they lose all day long. They will be much more cooperative if you let them win sometimes. This could be something as simple as letting her pick out her own clothes, regardless of whether or not it matches. My daughter picks out her own clothes every day, and yes, sometimes it is embarassing to be seen with her wearing a pink pants and an orange shirt, but it isn't hurting anyone, so it is an easy battle to let her win. We try to give her choices throughout the day, all with stuff that is ok no matter what she chooses. Anything to make her feel like she has some control over her world. It makes a big difference when you need her to cooperate, she will do so much more willingly on the really important stuff. The tantrums should lessen, but the book/video have great ways to deal with the tantrums. We have been able to end all of ours within seconds, instead of them dragging on and on. If you do need to put he in a time out, and she is being destructive, I agree you need to find a safe spot where she can't hurt herself, others or property. A friend of mine uses the booster seat from the kitchen and takes it and turns it around to face the wall. Her daughter is contained and unable to do anything else but sit there. It has been effective for them. Also, if she is feeling out of control, perhaps she is a child that will thrive on routine and a schedule. Some kids need that security to know exactly what is coming next. Also, this is a time when kids start to get more engrossed in their activities, so it is often helpful to give them a heads up before transitions. Although they still don't have a concept of time, before you leave the playground you can warn her she has 5 more minutes, then 3 more minutes, then 1 more minute until it is finally time to go. That worked really well for my son. He couldn't grasp how long 5 minutes was, but when you do it often, he gets the idea. Still didn't want to leave, but a lot less likely to throw a big fit in the middle of the playground. I would definitely set up rules on the important (safety stuff first) and be very consistent with your follow through. That is the hardest part, but once a rule is established, it needs to be enforced every time, and once she realizes this is the case, she will stop testing so much. Good luck. This is such a frustrating stage for most parents. I know my son really could push my buttons unlike any other person. The only good thing about this is you can be sure she knows you love her unconditionally, or she wouldn't be acting so terrible. Also, the good news is this too shall pass, my son by about 3 and 1/4 was like an entirely different child. Although now he is four, and has such attitude, I don't know which stage was worse!

our little ones don't have any self control and we have to teach it to them. I would put her in her crib or playpen in another room. Very calmly tell her why and that she can't do that. Then don't return until she is quiet. Some won't like this, but you have to break her will. She is to obey and honour you. If we think ahead 20 years, will she be able to assert her will on her employer? NO. She needs to learn to obey the authority in her life. It will be rough at first, but the tanturms will get shorter. As you go reinforce the right wat to do things. Like ask nicely, hands are for loving not hitting, etc.
SHM of 7, homeschooling and married 16 years. Blessings.

Do you give her any chance to make her own choices about things? Small things .... I had to do that with my oldest daughter who was very head strong. I worked very hard making her think the things I need her to do was her idea. I would say would you like this or that for lunch...would you like to wear this or that...should we go to this park or that park.... I really helped and I think it gave her a feeling of some control....Then I would also give her a chance to do "grown up" things with myself/husband..like cooking, gardening, laundry ect..... She was quite a stubburn kid and never seemed happy with play with toys or doing the typical kids stuff.... If you dont fear it...try some painting and art stuff...it will also give her the sence of controling the out come of something.... good luck and dont fight it go with it....ps...I am sure you know dont give into the big stuff about safty and sleep and healthy foods...ect....:)