My 19 Month Old Granddaughter Cries When She She's Her Mom

After reading your post in the answer space, I remembered that my 3 yo always needs her mom or dad after she wakes up. She cries. She also cries a couple of times during the day when she's frustrated. Sometimes, when there's too much going on.

At 19 months, your grandaughter is unable to tell you how she's feeling. She isn't able to know what is going on.

I'm glad her mom picks her up. Your grandaughter needs that reassurance.

What is your question?

Where does your grandaughter live.with? You or her mom. I'm also not clear about when she cries. She cries when her mom enters the room and also when she leaves the room..this sounds normal to me. Crying does not mean that she's.an unhappy child. As to her mom picking her up. That also is OK.

Baby is due in 3 weeks. How does that figure in comments about crying and being picked up?

I suggest that if child lives with Mom, Mom gets to do whatever she wants. If Mom isn't concerned about crying and chooses to pick the toddler up, I suggest you back off and let her do what she wants.

I'm a grandma and know how hard this can be. Once I was able to stop acting as if I had the right to step in, my daughter and I are getting along fine. I'm now a relaxed and happy being a part of their life.

So you have a choice. Not meddle in Mom's decisions so that you can be a happy grandma or continue to meddle and be miserable. This advice comes from experience.

Maybe I don't understand your post and am only guessing on what it means.

Yep.
Separation anxiety can be a bear.
And it's not going to get any better until everyone is use to the new baby (give it a good 6 months - possibly longer).
This is the age and it's definitely a stage - and many kids will cry at least for a short time even when they are dropped off to school through the first grade.
The performance is targeted to get Mom's attention - and it's working for right now.
Mom's going to be a lot more tired when the new baby gets here - someone somewhere is always going to be crying.
Get her a nice pair of ear plugs for when she needs a break.
As a grandmother - you've raised your kid(s) - haven't you ever seen this before?

There's a little song that the preschool teachers always sang to crying kids:
My mommy comes back, she always comes back
She always comes back to get me.
My mommy comes back, she always comes back
She never would forget me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLuuY-54QAM

It works for "daddy" and "grammy" and "grandpa" too - just substitute the appropriate words. It distracts and reassures the child at the same time.

Kids go through phases where they learn about permanence and separation. Transitions can be tough at certain times. Totally normal.

Pretty typical for some children - not all but for sure, some kids.

I would encourage her to use her words - and just comfortingly say "All right, mom will be back."

Totally normal, IMO. I was a single mom when my oldest was born and my son and I lived with my parents for three years. He was a relentless crier. He cried when I came in the room, he cried when I left. He cried when I put him down, he cried when I picked him up. He cried all the time, about everything, mostly with and around me. He's 18 now and while it's been years since he's cried and I adore him to bits and we have a close relationship, he still saves his negative feelings for me. He had some friends over the other night and was being a bit bratty and difficult with me over the fact that he couldn't find his keys and it was funny to hear his friends call him on it. They told him that he was acting like a three-year-old and were surprised because he is normally pretty cool outside the house. Kids always save their worst feelings for their parents because parents are safe place to fall apart.

Trust that your daughter knows what her little girl needs when she picks her up. She is showing her that she hears and responds to her needs, which is very important for all babies, but especially those who, like my son, are a little high strung. You granddaughter sees the changes in her mom and knows that something big is happening soon. She'll adjust and be fine. I wouldn't worry about this, I really wouldn't.

You've gotten good advice below.

If your daughter or daughter-in-law asks for your advice or complains about the 19 month old crying a lot, tell her that perhaps she could ask her pediatrician for advice. It's important that she feel close to her ped and know that she can ask him or her questions about her child's development. As a grandmother, you shouldn't give advice without being asked. Sometimes the best advice you can give is to punt the question to a professional, like the ped, whose advice she's probably more likely to listen to.

When another child arrives, things change. She won't be able to pick up the 19 month old as often. The dynamics change out of necessity, and her toddler will eventually adjust. Give your granddaughter plenty of loving and supervision once that baby comes when you are visiting. A new baby is so hard for an older sibling to get used to.

do you have a question?
khairete
S.

Thank you all for your responses. To answer a few questions, they are currently living with me. An example of what is happening is her mom was taking a nap when granddaughter was napping. The grand daughter woke up and I went in to get her. She Was Happy And We Were playing. Her mom gets up about 15 min. Later and my granddaughter starts crying as soon as she sees her. I have 3 of my own children and 6 grandchildren and have never seen a child behave this way. Looking for answers from anyone who may have experienced this before