My 18 Month Old Son Is Not Talking Yet.

Updated on October 20, 2006
J.I. asks from Englishtown, NJ
22 answers

Hello I am a mommy of boy/girl twins. They are 18 months old and my daughter has such a big vocabulary at this point. On the other hand my son is not saying much at all. I recently went to the Dr. and she told me to go for a hearing test for my son. I did and the results came back normal. I know he can hear but they just wanted to check. I feel bad for him because his sister know's want she wants and asks for it by name. My son doesn't. I hate to see him get upset because he can't communicate with us. He was born first and at a good weight 5 lbs. 6 oz and my daughter was 4 lbs 12 oz. So we always thought she will be the one a little bit delayed but I guess not. She doesn't stop talking. I know its not right to compare and I honestly don't. But I just want to hear him talk. The Dr. said just give him time. Is anyone out their that has any advice? Thanks for your time..:o)

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So What Happened?

I would just like to thank you all for getting back to me. You all were so nice and the comments where great. Thanks for making me feel better...

Thanks again,
J. :o)

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H.

answers from New York on

J.:

As you have been reading from other moms, this is not as unusal as it seems. My girlfriend who son was not speaking by age three had him evaluated and they decided to give him "therapy" in no time he was talking so much that she wished she left him alone. Sometimes children, boys especially, will speak on their own time. They are not necessarily delayed, they just may be taking it all in. My husband didn't speak until he is was 3 and he is a very smart man. Be patient, all good things in time.
Good luck

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T.F.

answers from Springfield on

Early Intervention is the way to go and if you only have one income it might be free or discounted!

My son went through early intervention and by the time he was at three he started preschool early and now he is learing to read and write at 4! By the time he gets in kindergarden he will be in a better position than most kids his age.

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T.C.

answers from Boston on

Hello, my son is 8 years old, however when he was about that age the same thing happened, and i was very concerned as well. He had an hearing test and was normal as well... Then he started to display behavioral episodes because of his inabilty to express himself verbally. So i researched online and ended up contacting my local " early intervention". They came to the home and provided an evualuation of my son, in which they evualuate his congnitive skills, receptive , verbal and eye cordination, after the assement they provided speech therapy to get my son to the appropriate level to start preschool. So i would definilty suggest having this evualuation done, there's nothing to loose.

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G.D.

answers from Providence on

I work in a daycare and take care of toddlers ages 18 months to 2 years old. Let me just say one word...RELAX! It'll be ok. When the childen come into my room most of them don't have much speech but by the time they leave they know a lot more then they did when they arrived. I find that the girls talk more and have a better vocabulary then boys at this age. However, all children are different and go at their own pace. Trust me, he'll be fine. Give him some time and it'll come. The best thing you can do for him is talk to him. About everything and nothing. The more they hear the more they mimic. Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from New York on

Laughing about the mom who posted about the girls chatting more than the boys.. How true! Boys tend to be more observers and are busy soaking up everything. He'll probably talk full sentences when he starts!
Just talk to him normally,.. you can use simple signs that he can pick up if he really wants to communicate (more, please, thank you, drink, eat, sleep, read...), he'll use them. I don't mean TEACH him signs, you use them when you say the words. He'll get the connection if you are consistent. When they get over that frustration of trying to communicate and can do so with a few simple signs, you'd be surprised how suddenly they'll pick up speech!
We've used this with our grandson, now almost five and definately a know it all chatterbox!
Do you have a 'MEMORY' game? You can play that with him, just lay out the pictures, and say 'find the...', see what he understands. Keep the cards around and if he's eating, use the picture cards along with the words.. reinforcement and another way of connecting the words you say to the items. Make it fun :) YOu can play the game with his sister, he can watch what his sister says and start to mimic HER! He might end up using the cards to show YOU what he wants. He will start talking soon enough and you wont' be able to keep him quiet!

M.

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E.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi my nephew had the same trouble they said his ears were fine to but come to find out they were not he had tubes put in now he talks up a storm he was 2 before the fixed the problem

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E.R.

answers from Hartford on

J.,
DOn't worry too much about your son, it's common for this to happen with twins!!! I have g/g twins that will be 4 in November, and we had a similar issue. Even to this day, one is much more vocal that the other. Sometimes one is the more "dominant twin", aside from communicating, is your son the more easy going of the two? Another thing we found with the girls, is that the one who talked more actually talked FOR her sister. I laugh when I ask the "less vocal" one to count or recite the alphabet she answers me with "I don't know" and her sister tries to take over, now I have to take a little more one on one time with her and distract or have Daddy or Grammy distract the more vocal girl to get the less vocal to trust that she knows just as well as her sister what she's talking about (because we KNOW she does as when she's alone in her room with the stuffed animals, or playing quietly on the floor with her dollhouse, she is constantly teaching them to count, the alphabet, colors, shapes, anything she can think of.)I honestly think we didn't hear alot out of her until she was at least 2, maybe even 2 1/2, we went through the hearing, vision, developmental, any test they could come up with..... and it turned out she was listening, and she wasn't going to say anything until she knew she could say it correctly, and her sister wasn't going to speak for her.

SOme lil ones are just late bloomers, I'm sure if there's reason to be concerned, your Dr will let you know. If you're still very concerned, you may be able to call your state Dep of CHildren or Social services and have him screened for whatever your state's equivilant to Birth to three (in CT) is.
Good Luck and enjoy those babies!!!

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A.K.

answers from Albany on

Hello! My son is 18 months old - He has had 14 double ear infections and two single. We did the surgery for tubes and he still gets ear infections and he still only says mom.
The Drs have said in due time he will talk. I have started sign language with him - of course he is not intersted. Again the Drs say he will come through in due time. It does worry me that he isn't talking but he does understand what I am saying to him. He does follow direstions really well. So I am not convinced it is his hearing - I think it is just that he isn't ready to talk yet -

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L.M.

answers from Burlington on

Wow J.
I hear you! My daughter is also 18mo old and she said ut-o, mama, and there and thats it. I thought she was a lil slow too considering she has 2 older sisters but my dr said she will talk when she's ready. Hope so ! Good Luck I am sure your son is just fine

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J.D.

answers from New York on

J.,

boys and girls learn different skills at different rates. Girls seem to be more verbally oriented than boys are. My son is 26 months, and says almost nothing. He can count, and sing the ABCs, but won't ask for a drink. He's just not interested. We've had him evaluated, and he tested as delayed for speech, so we have a speech therapist who come in and plays with him for an hour a week. He's talking a little more now, but I don't know if it's just development.

Either way, your son is very young. Give him another few months, and then see if there's progress. You can alwys ask for a developmental evaluation. In the meantime, really focus on labelling, reading, singing songs, to expose him to asmany words as possible. He'll do fine.

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S.D.

answers from Buffalo on

I would just keep trying to work with him and be very patient :)

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V.S.

answers from Syracuse on

My son is 21 months old and is just learning to talk- yet he only says maybe 4 words (he doesn't even say mama or dada). I really wouldn't worry about it. He'll talk when he's ready. I actually taught my son some sign language to help him communicate. It works great!! He knows, "more", "all done", "milk", and "please". It really helps.
Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from New London on

My son just turned 2 in July. He didn't start talking until he turned 2. He was born three months premature at 2 lb 10 oz, and I knew he was going to be behind but the doctor was concerned. He has had three hearing tests since he was born and they were all normal so we knew that wasn't a problem, so his doctor set him up to see a speech therapist. He went once a week for over three months and though we got great advice from the therapist on how to communicate, he still wouldn't talk. Then all of a sudden, he just started talking. Now he has at least one new word a day and is talking almost non stop from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed. My advice is-don't worry about it too much. He will talk when he is ready and then you won't be able to keep him quiet.

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D.

answers from New York on

You have to remember, boys grow physically faster then girls.
And girls grow mentally faster then boys. (Most of the time). And even though they are twins they are separate individual people. Every child is different as to how they grow and learn. This would be the case even if they weren't twins. Is he saying any words? Even if their Mama and Dada, that is something. There are lots of kids this way, who were single birth kids, who don't even say that much.

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K.L.

answers from Buffalo on

My daughter was speech delayed. She received services at two years of age. My father would laugh at what he said was my overreacting. He promised one day I would long for the day when she didn�t say much. He insisted that she would talk when she was good and ready and then she wouldn�t stop! At the time I didn�t see anything to laugh about, but now I see the humor in it; she is eight now and she won�t shush up! No family secret is safe with her *lol*

My niece is two months younger than my daughter. She also did not say much at two years old, but my sister was seeing a different pediatrician who did not recommend services for her delay. He told my sister that although my niece did not talk much, she was advanced for her two years of age in other areas including gross and fine motor skills. He explained that often a child will concentrate on mastering one set of skills, and because of that singular focus other skills will not be as strong, but that in time the child�s focus will change and those skills that are weak will strengthen. My niece is now just as talkative as my daughter. If you want to know anything about my family sit down with my daughter and her cousin!

I thought, perhaps, offering you both perspectives would help. My daughter received services while my niece did not, but both girls are doing phenomenally well now. My sister�s pediatrician offered an explanation that makes complete sense. My doctor recommended services. At the time I felt as if I would be a bad parent if I did not follow his suggestions, and while I do not regret my decision to follow my doctor�s recommendations, who is to say she wouldn�t have progressed just as my niece did without those services?

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S.M.

answers from Providence on

Hi! I have twin girls, they will be 21 months old on the 14th. I have one that say's lots of words and the other that just does lots of babbling ...........she had her hearing tested and it was fine, we have Early Intervention coming, but it is frustrating when you see other children talking and yours are not!! I have many friends and family that tell me they know of a children that dont start until close to 2 years of age. I have a nephew that did not talk until 2 and now he is 6 and reads at a 4th grade level (amazing). I know my daugters understand me , but it is hard, I do understand, just continue to talk to him and read and not to do things for him and try to ask for them, also hold things up to your face as you say them so he has to have the eye contact.

I am also a full time mom and I wonder if that is why they are not speaking as well as other children who go to a daycare.

I hope this helps and gives you some comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

S.
Coventry, mom of twin girls
____@____.com

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A.A.

answers from Rochester on

you should try signing time...look it up on the internet...it is amazing set of tapes you can buy that teach your children to sign but also helps with terrible twos....it also with children who have disorders as well (not saying your son does) but its amazing how fast they pick it up...watch it with him so you learn the signs as well (because then you still wont know hwat he is talking about)...it might help

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K.D.

answers from New York on

SO MANY kids are not talking at 18 months. They usually pick one or the other: motor skills, or vocabulary skills, and stick to that for awhile. My daughter Gina is 21 months old, and I talk with MANY people online on a group where we all had our kids around the same month, there are about 30 of us. At 21 months, about half of those kids are hardly talking yet at all, or just saying a word or two, while my daughter is just a chatterbox that won't shut up! LOL So don't think for a minute your son isn't right on target for his age! Besides, why talk when you have a sister that's talking all day? you can just listen to her and run around and get into things! LOL Before you know it he will definitely be chatting away, he's just not wanting to just yet, preoccupied with other things. By around 2 most of them start talking a LOT more if they haven't already. Fear not! :)

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J.F.

answers from Bangor on

Sometime when you have twins one of them is more advance than the other and they seem to have their own way of communicating with one an other. Does your daughter tell you what he wants? If she does tell her that he needs to tell you and not her. I have babysat twins before and had the same problem.
J.. I hope this helps

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C.L.

answers from New York on

J.,

I am in the same boat, different seat. I adopted my foster son who has been with me b4 his birth, I took "her" to the doctor and tried to get her to stop drinking but the drinking took its toll on him. Alex just began to speak single words and say his name in the last 3 months, and he is now 2.9 years old. Early Intervention (EI) has been very hekpful to us. Speech was started a while ago and has helped him. If you want info on this, let me know. I am the Queen of Therapy!!! I have learned more in the last 3 years than 4 years of college.... LOL Good Luck ~Crys

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R.M.

answers from Providence on

hi my name is R. i know how u feel when my daughter hwere delaye in there speech and they had hearing test too it came out normal too my kids had to had speechclass beacuse they weren`t talking right my daughter who in the 7th grade and she has speechclass at school don`t worry he will catch up soon just keeping on doing what u have beening doing talk to him make him say the word back to u and he will do it it just going take some time but he will do it

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

Good morning J.,
Have you asked the pediatrician about any programs in your areas that serve as early intervention? In my town, we have an early intervention program that serves children B-3 years on any delays that they may have. It is free or has a nominal one time fee. You should check with your pediatrician about early intervention. If this is not an option where you live, than ask for a referral to a pediatric speech therapist. Good luck. I know it can be hard but enjoy their individuality, look at your son's strengths and by your daughter talking, she is being a great model for your son to follow....
Smiles,
Jenn

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