My 17 Month Old and His Behavior and Sleeping.

You have several things going on all at once and I believe in a way it's all connected. To start with, the boy doesn't feel that great. I live with acid reflux and know that it's a mixed bag of lots of symptoms. The best thing you can do there is work hard on keeping his diet healthy, offering an all day healthy grazing of food without letting him eat a large amount of something he may like. It's tempting to let him have as much of something he wants because of all the times he doesn't eat much. But eating too little or too much aggrivates acid reflux.

For the behavior, you need to find a safe place for him to be. I suggest a pack and play. Even if he can climb out, then you'll have to stand next to it and put him back in even if it's 200 times. Eventually, he'll figure out that when he hits he goes in the pack and play. When he screams at you or pulls hair, he goes in the pack and play. At his age it's not about a timed amount of time as in time out. It's really about getting him away from people so that he can not hurt anyone. Keep the pack and play near enough to not make him feel absolutely isolated. But far enough that sooner or later he'll get tired of being separated from you and whoever else is around. You need to be consistent. You can not make any excuses PERIOD. If it bothers you to leave him in there and you wonder too much about how long to put him in there, make a deal with yourself. Every time you put him in there clean out a drawer, sweep a floor, clean off a counter etc. Just think...every time he gets into trouble you will do some small cleaning project and eventually your house will be VERY clean.

This really will work if you do it faithfully. He'll learn that you are not reacting in an emotional way. Kids feed off of emotions. The more emotional you are, the bigger the pay off they are getting. Also, he'll not have the run of the house.

The final thing you need to work on is just as important as his eating and how to handle the naughty behavior. You NEED to find an outlet that will make him tired. You can buy a very small moonwalk for around 200 that will fit in most living rooms if you can move back all the furniture. You can get him a blow up ball pit. You can get a small trampoline, the personal exercise kind or one for kids, and help him jump on it. You MUST find a very physical outlet for this boy. You can get some buckets, the small 3 gallon cleaning kind with handles. Fill them with wooden blocks, cars, and any other toy that will make them a little heavy. Teach him to carry them from place to place. Give him play dough and teach him to pound it. You need to tire this boy out!

If you will spend a little time and money to change the way you deal with him, you'll have a new boy in no time.

I didn't talk about sleep patters because his sleep problems are a symptom of the other things. He isn't feeling well, isn't getting the right kind of dicipline, and he isn't being challenged physically. The sleep will take care of itself when you handle these things.

Suzi

I have read through the other posts and agree with most of them. My son is 18 months old and does some of the same things. I have found with the hair pulling, hitting and biting that my son is wanting attention. He is trying to tell me that he wants something. My son is not talking much so this is what he has resorted to. The only exception is wanting to eat/drink. I have a few things in the kitchen at his level, when he wants something to eat he will bring me a banana or a bottle of juice.

The eating issue, it sounds to me like he is still teething. When my son is working on a new tooth he doesn't want to eat or drink very much. When he does want something it has to be cool or cold for him to consume it.

This may also be PART of the sleeping issue. When our little ones are cutting teeth, it hurts. I have had a few nights of being up for an hour or more with a screaming child. (The first time was in a motel with people in the rooms on both sides.)(He did the same thing while my parents were watching him and they decided to turn on the tv to see if it would help. It did a little, he screamed during the show and was quite during the commercials. :)

I agree with the post about wearing him out, the more activity my son does, the better he sleeps. I didn't look to see where you are but if you are close and would to see about getting the boys together to run off their extra energy, let me know. I am always up for energy removal. :)

For punishment for the hitting, biting, bending his books backward(which my son does) I use a stern NO! and yank the item out of his hand. NOT hard enough to hurt or knock him over, just to surprise. My son does not like to cry and will usually cry when I do this. I let him cry for a minute or so and then give him a hug and tell him that he is not supposed to do what ever it was that he did. (So that he knows mom is still ok with him) A few times of this and he knows that he is not supposed to be doing it.

Happy Holidays. Keep your spirits up, things will get better.

I am having sleeping problems with my son too so i'm not gonna try to help you with that. But I have learned that with the hitting you cannot hit them back to try to stop it. They don't realize that it is wrong if you do it too. We have been putting my son in time out for a minute. He hates it and i'm sure doesn't understand why yet but it does redirect him to doing something else besides hitting or doing what he isn't supposed to do.

Do you have a routine in place for bedtime that you follow every night? I've found that when my kids get out of their routine, their sleeping habits change for the worse.

I also wonder if he has a food allergy. I say this because my uncle dated a woman who had a very moody child who would hit and such and it turns out he had terrible food allergies that affected his behavior! Once they figured that out, he was a changed kid.

Part of it too I am sure, is just his age. Now is about the time kids try to exert their own independence and test their boundaries. If you don't have clear boundaries in place, do that! My husband and I took a class called "Love and Logic" at the local Parents As Teachers group (you can find it through USD 259's web site USD259.org). It's a really great class that even after having two kids we found to be EXTREMELY helpful.

Good luck!

I think quite differently than several other posters... I think the sleep is the key. How many hours is he sleeping?

You might try putting him to bed earlier since it sounds like he's overtired when he's going to bed.

I know others might use time out or other punishments but it really doesn't work with kids that little. Redirection and distraction are your best friends. If he's mad and going to the kitchen- I'd stop him and say "Let's do this fun activity!"

Biting is a natural desire. They are still getting molars in at that age. My suggestion would be getting a chew toob from a website or an OT and giving it to him everytime he tries to bite. "This is for biting. People are for soft touches." Playtex has some teeth pacifiers that are awesome and they can't suck on them since it's all a flat surface for them to chew. We've had great luck with those.

With parts of your story I can totally relate. My son is now 20 months. For the past few months he has been a terror. Not hitting and biting but tantums up the wahzoo. Also he still wakes up in the middle of the night. We might have a good strech here and there of sleeping thru the night but it is still to the point of going to sleep knowing at some point he will wake up before morning. Also he has issues with his weight too. I shouldn't call it an issue because we had everything checked out and found out last month he is just a small guy. He is 20 months and weighs about 20 lbs.

At his 18 month appointment when he dropped off the growth chart we really took a hard look at things. We have changed many things in the past couple months. Life still isn't perfect but I too was at the point of crying alot cause I was tired and frustrated and worried.

We took him to see a Gastronalist (sp) to see why he is so small. After many tests later conclusion is that he is just small in size. Whew. We had him on a laxitive because he always had a hard time pooping. Took him off of that. Decided that was zapping too many nutrients and his body wasn't retaining anything. Started him more on natural laxitives like plum juice and fiber. (he loved the stuff)Now about a month later his body can process a lot better and we don't have to give him fiber and plum juice all the time.
We also had him on Zrytek because of allergies. Took him off of that. We will just give him bendaral when we are going to be around the allergies. Not every day. I believe he had medicine head for about 10 months being on it. ( I now believe with any medicine given on a daily basis you should really look into what the side effects and long term effects can be) I did some research on it and people who had young kids on it noticed a behavoiral change (for the worse) Since we started at 10 months with it we just assumed it was him going from a baby to toddler that made his behavoir change. It took about 2 weeks for us to notice a change. A lot less tantums.
He also isn't the best eater. But I have stopped trying to offer him 10 things for a meal hoping he eats something. If he doesn't like it I try 1 more thing. If he still doesn't like it we get down from the table and try again in like 20 minutes. We did the pedisure thing for a little while but decided he would rather have that than eat which was defeating the purpose. We also used to give a warm bottle of milk when he woke up at night. It was extra calories and it got him back to sleep. But we have gotten away from that because that was the only way to get him back to sleep. We are giving him a snack (cereal, fiber bar) when he wakes up (he is an early bird and wakes up around 5am) and then he gets a real breakfast around 730. We do this also to keep on track with daycare. I don't know if I recommend this. I feel part of the reason he is waking up at 5 is to eat. We also do daily vitiams to help with any nutrients that were not consumed during the day.
We did make our bedtime a lot more routine. We had a loose routine before. Now I can lay him down at 730pm and he just goes to sleep. He does wake up around 11 most nights and usually a quick hug will calm him back down. I don't know why he wakes up like clock work at 11pm every night.
Wow super long post. Sorry so wordy.

Good Morning C.. I am really not sure where to go with this one, except evaluation. Some of it sounds like normal kid-o stuff and other parts sound like an inbalance of some kind.

Start by making a list of the things he is doing. The good and not so good.
I didn't look to see where you live, but Rainbows united will do evaluations. I know there are several other places that do the same thing, just can't think of the Agency's right now. Most are free through the State.
Is his weight and height up there in his age catagory? Is he starting to talk?
You can't allow him to bite C., even if it is just toes. Take what ever he brings to hit with out of his hands with a stern No Hit!

Staying up all hours isn't helping him or you hon. You need a routine and stick to it.
Dinner, Bath, story or songs, prayers & night nights, lights off. Are you feeding him or is he feeding himself? I know my thoughts are in rambling mode, things just keep popping in my head....lol
If you stay up waiting for him to eat your not helping C.. Kid-os don't always eat when and what we want them too. Our gr son Zane was 2 in Oct. He is just now eating more then Cherrio's and Cheetos...lol He is finally talking more also. We knew he understood what we said, he just wouldn't talk. We had him evaluated and he was really up there with what he was doing. We had NO idea on some things. He is doing great with Potty training also. He will go in by himself and pp in the potty then clap his hands.. Of course he loves flushing too, so that is a reward for him....lol
We haven't one time had to bribe him to go potty. Once he started about 2wks ago he has just kept it up. Poopin isn't a factor yet. Around noon I put on a pull up, for that. and he usually does it. He gets up dry in underwear at nap time. He doesn't like wetting his underwear at all.

C. I wish you only the best with your little Prince. See if you can get an evaluation done.

God Bless you
K. Nana of 5
Merry Christmas to you and yours

I would talk to your pediatrician. That is common for his age however if his dad is bipolar and has ADHD then he may have it too. Good Luck! D.

C., my heart goes out to you. My is 12 now, and we now know that he has adhd but before we knew for sure that he had it, I knew something else was going on. I suspect that his dad has but I don't think people readily diagnosed it as much as they do now. He just said that he was bad growing up and got into trouble alot. Well, those same characteristics are showing up in my son, and I once I came out of denial about it all I have been very diligent about getting him the help that he needs and so far it is paying off. There's still challenges to overcome, but I want to help all that I can. I encourage you to definitely speak to your child's doctor at his next appt. Since he's 17months, I suspect that he has his 18-month appt. coming up. It's best to address issues early in the child's life if you can; it's probably too early for them to diagnose your son with anything, but I would definitely keep talking to your son's doctor and seek out strategies from professionals about how to best deal with your son. The good thing is that at least you are aware of the conditions that your son's dad have and hopefully you can be proactive in getting your son the help he may need if the same type of behavior(s) surface. Best wishes to you.