My 16 Month Old Will Not Sleep....

Hi L.,

Sleeping is a big issue for a lot of families, so you're not alone. Here's the thing that I want to comment about...who told you it's "bad" for a child to sleep in your bed? I think you need to throw out the window other people's opinions, even so called experts, and do what works for you and your family. I'm not saying that you should co-sleep (sounds like maybe you don't like it too much), but if that is what works and you are all in agreement, don't think that it is a bad thing to do. Lots of families do it. I don't sleep in a bed due to back problems, and for the last 7 years I have had either a baby or a slightly older child sleeping in the living room with me...either in my arms in the case of a nursing baby, or on the sofa (my 4 year old sleeps on the sofa most nights...her baby sister wakes her up if they stay in the same room). I'm sure people have plenty of opinions about our sleeping arrangements, but you know what? I don't care what anyone else thinks. Sleep deprivation is no good for anyone, so we do what works for us and you should too. I know you haven't quite figured out yet what that is, but once you do, don't let anyone else's opinions bother you, and don't listen to the experts...they are not in your life, and you're not going to damage your child based on where they are sleeping. Americans are so caught up in this...so many cultures only have one or two room homes...what do you think they do for sleeping? Do you think they are harming their children? Doubtful...if you ask me, we are too uptight about the whole sleeping thing. Wow, I didn't expect to get on such a soapbox about that..sorry! Anyway, I think you got my point. Good luck!

D.
35 year old mother of 5 with one more on the way

My daughter did the same thing - emotional vomiting! First things first - if she was going to vomit I got her trained up to RUN to the toilet or a trash can! LOL For my girl, I believe it was just a phase. If the crying and gaging started, I would talk calmly to her to reassure (easy, breath, relax, I'm here, etc) as she started and it helped to have a cool wet cloth in hand for her face and neck (a distraction maybe that just happen to work for us?!). After a few months of vomit and lots of laundry, we both pulled through.

My daughter still sleeps with me and she is currently four years young. She sleeps like an crocidile taking down a gazelle in the death roll. No I am not exagerating! Hence the upgrade to the king size bed!

I highly recommend Dr. Ferber's book "Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems". He breaks down all scenarios and reasons why your child cries instead of going to sleep (or back to sleep.) The book recommends charting your child's sleep to find the patterns and also outlines a program on how to get your child to sleep peacefully in their own crib / bed. My daughter never slept through the night until I read this book when she was 5 months old. Now she naps (she's almost two) 2-3 hours during the day and sleeps through the night every night. I also found through charting that she was waking up the same time every night which let me know it was a habit and not a gas bubble. Good luck- it doe get better!

Mine was going through the samething, she is 15 months old, It lasted about 2 months and we are back to normal now. I have no idea why, sometimes she even needed a bottle. My sisters baby was out of the crib at one and in a toddler bed, so maybe that is it. Maybe he is over tired, maybe he needs a morning nap, instead of one big one. Sometimes we will never know. Then when they are teenagers we can't wake them. It will get better.

I had the same issues with my son. If I had the information I had available to me now, I would have been able to correct the problem a lot sooner.

Some of the problem could be security. As infants babies are cuddled up when the first come home in a blanket to emulate the mothers womb and when the blanket gets loose the babies jump out of their skin and wake themselves up.

As the babies get older, they look for their moms for their security and that is why a lot of people keep their children with them in bed to provide the security. The children wake up when they do not feel the parent right next to them and then fall back asleep when they see or feel them there. It is so important to correct sleeping problems at an early age because it lasts so long if it is not. I had bouts of success and then when I was exhausted from working, slipped and took the easy road to get the kids to sleep and how I wished I had a window to the future to see the importance of independent sleeping habits. Give yourself two weeks to institute a sleeping schedule which will most likely involve your child crying. Have the child remain in his/her own sleeping environment. Have a sleeping ritual, story time, washing up for bed, tucking in, lights out, music playing for about 1/2 hour. If the child wakes up peek in to make sure they are safe but do not go in. Once in bed to sleep, the next time they should see you is bright and early in the morning. The guilt I felt was overwhelming but I stuck to and it worked as long as I stuck to the program. keep telling yourself it is for the health and well being of your child.

My additional suggestions are in the form of diet and environment first. After dinner hour, cut out any processed sugary snacks. Make sure during the day they are not overloaded as well. If you work full time, the child is probably active while you are working and takes a nap in the afternoon easily because of the activity. Try an activity after dinner or simply a walk outside and then follow-up with a healthy snack and milk before bed. Also, it has been found that indoor environments are effecting children and pets in the areas of skin disorders, respiratory disorders, sleeplessness, etc. If the child is in day care, find out what chemicals are being used in the facility. If they are being cared for in a home, find out how the house is being disinfected and if the child is around pets with dander and carpeting. I have done an insurmountable amount of research on household toxins and am willing to share all the information,articles and resources found. Every product tauting they are green is not always the case. I will share all that i have found for anyone that is interested. If you email me and let me know the area you are from (can give me the county and state if you are not comfortable with the town) I can also refer you to moms who also deal with children's issues on a professional level. Good Luck