Help, my son won't stop getting into EVERYTHING possible. I have an open floor plan and I can't block off anything. The house is almost entirely baby proofed but I can't unload the dishwasher, fold clothes, get clothes from the laundry room, be in my bedroom, or anything else without him being wrapped around my legs or tearing into whatever he can get his hands on. He DOESN'T listen for anything and I am losing my mind. He won't play with his toys and I don't know what else to do. Please help me!!!
I want to thank everyone for all of your wonderful and helpful responses. I have taken little tidbits from all of them, took some deep breaths, and regained my composure. But sticking to just the word "no", creating a cabinet for him, letting chores go, and stopping to take time to play with him between errands have helped TREMENDOUSLY. You guys are just what I needed and hope that I can help where I can. We are all good parents, though each person's strong suits are so much more powerful when shared with others!!
that's weird. every 16 mo I know plays chess and practices conducting classical music.
Maybe just a weensy bit more discipline?
I have a similar floor plan. I know your frustration well. A few things that helped were 1. be consistent. I am pretty sure that we started time outs at around that time. So when he didn't listen he went into time out. This was work for sure. ANd it took a little bit for my kids to really get it. But once they understood, it was an effective punishment. 2. Rearrange. I couldn't keep my son off the bar stools. He'd climb over and play in the sink. Or climb the counters. It was dangerous. So for a few months, the bar stools went into our bedroom (I wanted them in the garage, but hubby was afraid they'd warp out there). There were days I would put my dining room chairs on the back porch during the day just to get some peace. 3. Set up play areas in non play places. I had a drawer in the bathroom that my daughter loved. SHe'd dump it, plunder through it. Spill things, etc. It drove me nuts! No amount of baby proofing helped. So I finally got smart and moved my stuff. Instead I put some of her toys in there. She could plunder, dump and pour all she wanted. I also made sure the cabinet with tupperware was not baby proofed, so they could play in there while I was in the kitchen. And I moved things around so the rags and towels were in the lowest drawer so they could be played with too. 4. Be proactive...make a plan. Need to empty the dishwasher. Give baby a snack and put him in the high chair while you work. Need to fold clothes? Do it at nap time. 5. Lock what you can. Our office was waaayy too tempting. So we had to install a new door knob with a lock. We locked the kids out and put a screwdriver at the top of the door frame to get in . Any rooms we could lock, we often did lock. 6. Give him a task. I cook dinner almost every night. It was really hard during that toddler plunder phase. So I started letting them help me cook. When they were 16-18 months or so I would give them a whisk and a bowl and let them stir while in their chair. As they got older I"d let them stir water (Just a bit and be ready for a little mess). But they were happy and I could cook. By two they often really helped out. Sometimes while doing laundry I'd let my kids fill the laundry basket with whatever. Yes it got shoved full of toys that I had to pick up. But that was easier then fighting my kids to bring back that sock they stole! :) 7. Wear him out!!! Take him outside to the park. Take walks. Wonder around your yard. Get him active and moving. Nap time will be easier and longer if he is tired. If he is outside playing, he won't be inside tearing the house apart. 8. Nap time is your friend. You will be amazed how much you can get done, even if he only goes down for a short time. Hang in there mama!
Yep - it's called having a toddler!
All those people who say, "Nap when he naps" have forgotten what it's like to have a baby or toddler. You get NOTHING done while they're awake.
I think you have a few choices here:
1. Get him out of the house to "play" so that he's tired when he gets home. He'll be calming and not into everything, and maybe a little more willing to SIT and play with blocks.
2. Do meal planning and laundry on weekends or whenever your husband is around to help. Things like the dishwasher and folding laundry have to wait until naptime. My two year old will sit and watch Mickey Mouse on tv while I fold laundry in the same room.
3. Maybe get a "housecleaner" once a month to get some extra help with the big cleaning jobs you just can't get to right now. Otherwise, I use spray bottles with premade Lysol cleaner and water in them and run around with a rag or papertowels to get some spot cleaning done when I can.
4. If you have a friend/neighbor, maybe you can take turns giving each other a break. The kids love playing, and it really only takes 1 person to watch both. You can do it at your house or hers. The parent who's "off" can go home and clean, run to the grocery store, etc.
That's about all I've got. But yes, I'm in the same boat.
Yes, that about describes a typical 16 month old. I know it is so frustrating. I found that getting DD involved nearby with something similar worked wonders.
I also got a learning tower and that was a lifesaver. I could cook again. It is a tower the kids can climb up in and stand at the counter, so DD could play with stuff while I was getting the cooking or whatever else done. It is better than strapping her into the high chair bc she could come and go as she pleased. I LOVED it and the first day I got it I made bread and a really yummy dinner.
It was also helpful to have a drawer and a cabinet DD could go in, they had all the unbreakable stuff. Yes, it was noisy and resulted in me having to wash stuff, but it made her so happy and I could work nearby.
I don't think that putting babies in time out for being babies is particularly helpful. He is supposed to be exploring and into everything at that age. It is how he learns. You need to adapt somewhat during this stage. If you are constantly saying No, it will lose it's meaning and lead to a lot of frustration for him. That's why having areas he can get into (yes it makes a mess you will have to clean up) can be very helpful. Toys will become more fun later. Also he will help you pick up. If you put something in his hand and direct him to the drawer to put it away, he will do so.
Laundry is just hopeless with a toddler around. I folded at night.
Another thing we did is we got several attaching gates so we could block off areas if we had to (mopping or whatever). I also used a sling, that way I could wear DD and still cook or do other things. The sling solved the wrapped around the legs problem. Again, it is normal for him to want to be very near you and involved in what you are doing. You just need to adapt right now while he is in this stage. He'll get there.
You have a boy that sure wants to learn...there are so many different little tasks you can have him do as you do your tasks. He really wants to learn and be like mommy!
Give him a spoon and a pan while you uload dishes so he can bang on them.
A pillow case and a stuffed animal while you fold clothes. Show him how to put the animal in and out of the pillow case
Give him rides in the laudry basket floating on top of all the clothes (this is a favorite with my kids)
Lots of great advice below (except for disciplining him -- don't punish him for exploring his world!). Heather's response is especially terrific.
I would add: Look in places like onestepahead.com for baby "gates" that are more like, um, fences; you can attach as many as you need, end to end, to fence off an entire area. They do work for open floor plans; in fact that seems to be what they were really designed for. You will have to attach them to the walls, which means fixing that when you take them down much later, but it's worth it if it gives you peace of mind and keeps him safer. They really do work well for an area, such as a dining area with your best china in a cabinet, that you just can't rearrange for him to explore.
Still, even if you go that route, DO make it OK - both in terms of safety and in terms of your relaxing and giving him permission -- for him to get into most things in a safe way. His toys are never going to be as interesting as the real world and what YOU are doing at that moment -- relish it now, because it will pass and he will be less interested in interacting with you. (In other words--Try not to corral him with a fence, put his toys in, and say, "Play with these." That limits his ability to explore and exploring is how he learns.) As others said, plan ahead on chores for the week and then get him involved in things. Let him "stir" stuff in an unbreakable pot, let him bang on a pot with a spoon, let him have cabinets that it's OK for him to go into at will because they only contain the plastic wares (and ensure others are babyproofed) etc. You will not have to say "NO" all the time and you and he will have fun together instead of you stressing out. Leave as many chores as possible to other times, or ask if they really must be done today when he's in an exploring mood, and have your husband get more involved in chores if that's what it takes.
Sorry hun but this is what they mean when they say having a child is HARD. At this age you have to do this stuff after bedtime, naptime or when your DH is home. Your house will be a bit of a mess and you may have to live out of laundry baskets for clothes for awhile.
My biggest piece of advice is to lower your standards on cleaning your house and keep reminding yourself that someday your son will be gone on his own and you can clean to your hearts desire.
Totally normal and it does get better. Try devising something to distract him with before you start doing each chore, or figure out a way to involve him. Fill a low kitchen cabinet with tupperware or plastic cups/bowls, then open it and get him into pulling the things out and experimenting (show him how to stack, add a wooden spoon for banging, etc.) then while he's doing that you should have 5 minutes to unload the dishwasher. Yes, you will then have to clean up all the tupperware off the floor! My "play" cabinet was always a wreck -- I would just toss everything back in there when my son was done. For laundry, you could have him pick out each item from the basket and hand it to you for folding (then put the folded items out of his reach). Anything that's "new" -- doesn't have to be a toy -- can provide a few minutes of entertainment for him. A shoebox with some empty yogurt containers in it, for example, can provide a lot of fun for a toddler. Start gathering weird (safe) items so you can have them on hand for when you need to get something done. Big cardboard boxes are great too. Good luck, and remember, this too shall pass!
My busy, BUSY 12mo has been into everything for months, and I just involve him in my activities. I give him a piece of the action. I strategically place things in certain places for him to "discover". For example, there are a couple of things that I keep in my purse for when he can't stay out of it. He goes for them and moves away. He understands when I tell him no to any continued digging. When I'm in my bathroom, I set out the container of cotton balls and a couple of hair clips. I put them where he has to reach a little, not right on the floor. In the kitchen, he likes to do laps around the island and go through the kitchen opening drawers and doors. I close them as I pass by, and he stays busy keeping them open. In the refrigerator, there's a bottle of salad dressing in the bottom of the door. He knows that when I open the fridge, he can go and get it. When I finish with the fridge, he knows to put it back.
We can't stop them. The best we can do is to turn these moments into lessons for them. My baby gets to explore and follow instruction. And, no, it's not always this easy. Sometimes I have to get my husband or mother involved.
BE PERSISTANT: The word 'no' is the almighty disciplinarian in our house.
Trust me, toddlers have 'selective hearing'... they DO understand, they choose not to listen. They have to learn that mom means business!!
Stick with it; you'll both get there :)
It DOES get easier, I promise!!
I would put a gate in the hallway to the bedrooms and shut the doors to every room but his. He is old enough to want you and will stand at the gate yapping along to you but he will go play for a bit then come back, etc...just make sure his shelves are bolted to the walls with L brackets and the shelves themselves are bolted to the shelf sides or back. That way if he does start to climb the shelves won't topple down on him or flip.
The bathroom door must be closed at all times. He can drown in the toilet so just make it a house rule.
They have play yards that you can put together or take outside too. Ours was the Today's Kids and we had several extra panels. The bigger kids even loved going in and playing.
We still have it too. They are not made anymore but there are many similar items out there.
Today's Kids on Ebay:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/TODAYS-KIDS-6-PANEL-PLAYYARD-PLAY...
A different brand on Ebay:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/BABY-KIDS-PLAYPEN-8-PANELS-PLAY-C...
When my kids were little they had a closet shelf in the kitchen all to theirselves. It had wooden spoon, plastic bowls, measuring cups. They would play for hours in "their" spot. My son decided he wanted to play with the cookware and the canned goods. So I marked all the canned goods in case the labels came off and let him have at it. The great thing was when I came home from grocery shopping he would put all the canned goods away. The cookware is still cookware instead of expensive pots and pans that did not survive a child's play.
Plan a schedule of daily chores so that you kow when you can put him down for a nap and do things without him. Let him help you with the clothes from the dryer like gettig them out of the dryer into the basket.
You have to learn to make boundaries so that he will understand later. Right now he doesn't feel like he has any control over anything and he is taking it out on the things you want to do. So take a big deep breath and do things together and then things separately and a good nap for both of you.
You can have house beautiful once he goes to school. Just make sure surfaces are clean and that's it.
The other S.
PS When my daughter was little you could eat off the floors as she was on them crawling and things.
Give him little jobs so he learns to cooperate and not be so under foot. Give him different tubs, one at a time of dry rice, beans, sand, cheerios, and shaving cream while you are busy. Throw down a big sheet and let him go to town playing.
