My 3rd child, a girl, is 15 mos old. She is sooo busy. I love her so much, but she is making my life hard! My other kids are 7 and 9, so not sure if it is my memory being nice, but my 3rd child seems so much harder to take care of than they were at this age. She is bossy! Already starting temper tantrums! Climbs onto everything, falls a lot!!! It is never easy taking her anywhere. I took her to a drs appt today, that I thought she could handle. 10 mins into the appt we had to leave. She threw a fit that I wouldn't take her out of the stroller and when I finally did she was climbing and falling every where. I was soo embarrassed that I left:( Help! Am I expecting too much by taking her to a drs office in the first place? Am I not setting limits where I should be? I am exhausted!!
Nickie
Sounds perfectly normal to me for that age. 15 months is exhausting.
Sounds pretty normal. Try to be one step ahead of her. Really difficult to do. For example at the doctor's office. did you take any activities for her to play with? I would take her out of the stroller right away before she builds up negative energy. I would then entertain her. Read to her. Bring some toys, take a tour of the waiting room pointing out pictures, talking about anything. Focus on her and keeping her attention. This means having to change directions several times during the waiting period. And it means accepting her outbursts while restraining her. You can take her out of the room to the hall or outside but bring her back in once she calms down. It will take a few times before she'll realize that you're not going to give in to her tantrum and take her home. You be firm while sympathizing with her desire to be indpendent.
I would not leave. It's more of an inconvenience for the office then her shenanigans. Work at not being embarrassed by her. Your embarrassment feeds into her energy. She will be more manageable if you can remain calm and take her activity in stride.
As to climbing. Arrange furniture so that it's either safe to climb in or can't be climbed. Devote a few days to focusing on stopping her from climbing by telling no and redirecting her to an acceptable activity.
Ignore the bossy. She's learning that she's separate from you and asserting her independence. This doesn't mean you have to do what she says. It does mean you have to remain firm and not respond to the bossiness by being bossy yourself. Ignore the tone and direct her where you want her to go. Give her as many choices as possible. If what she wants to do is reasonable, let her do it. As she gets older you can work on her tone of voice.
A good friend gave me some advice - actually LOTS of friends whose children I see as good examples - all say the same thing.
NEVER give in when they throw a tantrum.
I'll pick my battles, and maybe "not see" something. But absolutely definitely never ever ever give in to a tantrum. And that includes some positive reward unrelated to tantrum:
Examples:
tantrum over cookie - no cookie
tantrum over cookie - do not offer twinkie as the child still sees tantrum as a winning strategy to get something
I just saw this as plain as night and day. MIL was here for a month (oye) and child had tantrum at drop of hat (no kidding, 25-50 times per day). Most were short - only a few seconds b/c MIL instantly gave in.
Before and after MIL visit, child throws a full fledge tantrum about once per week that we mark down as pushing boundaries. Child whines a handful of times during a day, but all end within a minute and don't escalate to full tantrum.
And they WILL hold you hostage at your weakest - feeding the other baby, out in public, shopping, at the park....
Be strong for about a week or two, and don't give in to ANY whines/tantrums. After that it's easy sailing and you can pick your battles. :)
I can appreciate the problem, but I don't see how giving in to it all the time is going to help either you or her. If you see a pattern, divert it. Yeah maybe start setting boundaries. It seems a little young for someone to be bossy, but I'd nip the tantrums in the bud right now.
