My 14-Month Old Boy Is Waking up Every Hour During the night...help!

Hi J. ~ My thoughts are for you to hang in there. By cosleeping til now you have been responsive to your baby's needs and this sounds like a new phase for your babe. Allowing him to cry it out would be the opposite of responsive and I believe your instinct that he would feel abandoned is accurate. Could he be teething or having a growth spurt? Are there changes in his life or developmental achievements (like when he started walking,etc.)? My daughter is 29 months and still sleeps with us - she's a screamer, too, meaning she is persistent and insistent about what she needs. But she is also growing to be a happy, well adjusted and respectful child.

My feeling is that if he had a better sleep pattern before, he will return to it when it's time. Try the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers or Dr. Sears' Sleep Book for suggestions. Good for you for being a compassionate and responsive mother. Good for your son - he's a lucky boy!

My final thoughts about the "self-soothing" philosophy is that most adults do not have good self-soothing/coping methods for their own stresses and fears and yet our culture has decided that our babies and young children need to go thru crying in order to learn to self-soothe. Don't be fooled - a baby that can be sleep trained easily by some "method" is one thing but if there is a strong or persistent opposition to the training method there is probably a stronger need for the parent's comfort. Self-soothing skills take a long time to learn - not two or three days or nights - and good coping mechanisms will last a lifetime - as well as whatever it is a baby/young child "learns" during sleep training. I would seriously think about teaching my child anything in which they learned their cry for help was unimportant to me. Best of luck to you and your family.
L.
Mama to Lydia 1/5/06

This is prime teething time for your son and his wakefulness is likely directly associated with that. I've found that my son wasn't ready for more boundaries at night until he was about 18 months at which point I was able to tell him that nursings wouldn't be available until the sun shone through the window. It took many months for him to get that idea and over that time some nights were better than others, though he is still in our bed (we have 2 next to eachother) which is working for us now. He's 2.5 now and does better at night, settles back to sleep with just a little snuggle pat once or twice a night. I think they are so little and a long transition towards independent sleeping is okay.

I'm guessing that you've gotten a slew of responses. Anyway, here's my two cents worth. I have an 18 month old who still sleeps with us, and my 4 year old still crawls into our bed about halfway through the night. As you can guess, I am a big fan of co-sleeping.

Is he nursing? If so, he might be going through a growing spurt or teething and be waking up for that comfort. I know that both of my kids would go through phases where they'd have a few nights in a row where they'd wake up every 45 minutes or so.

Your son might have an ear infection or some other issue that's making him wake up all the time.

One thing that I tried recently with my son. He's old enough to communicate and understand what I'm talking about. I talked to him about trying to go back to sleep at night without nursing--only nursing before bed and in the morning. We talked about what we'd do when he woke up--rock in the rocking chair, sing songs, walk around holding him, etc. He nodded in agreement, although tentatively. We worked on that for a couple of nights that were relatively rough before he slept better. He still wakes up once or twice during the night, but all I do is ask if he wants to go rock, and most of the time he says "no no no no" and quiets right down.

And don't feel like "it's all your fault." Each kid is different in his or her needs, as is each parent. You two (and your husband) will figure it out. In many other cultures, co-sleeping is the norm. The screaming it out method seems an odd one to me, so good for you if you're able to figure out something that works instead of that. And if you're transitioning him to his own bed, have you done something to make his bed seem like it's a special place for him?

Just a few thoughts. Good luck!

Just remember that a *significant number* of children do not "sleep through the night" in terms of a solid 10-12 hours. (Neither do adults!) As Elizabeth Pantley says, since the majority of small children do not, maybe we should call *that* normal sleep, and treat the "sound sleepers" as the anomalies!

I don't have advice for you, as our 21-month old is still cosleeping, still nursing, and still waking during the night. (AND hates going to bed at all; takes forever to drop off.) But every time these sleep questions come up, people do say: 1) go with your gut, and 2) it won't last forever. Someone here said just the other day that these behaviors that stress us out tend to be stages of six months or less. That was a good reminder for me!

Blessings and sweet dreams to both of you...

I guess I would want to pose a question back to you...if you co-slept with him in a family bed until now, why did you change that? Is he suddenly alone in a room? Why not just continue the family bed awhile longer? He won't be harmed by it, you will all get more sleep, and there is NOTHING wrong with cuddling your little one as long as he wants to be cuddled. Most cultures worldwide do this--we in the U.S. are considered very strange for wanting our children to sleep alone in a crib.

If it gets to the point where you just don't want him in bed with you, then you could try gradually getting him to move to his own space IN YOUR ROOM--call it the "big boy" bed, but make it right next to you, and allow him back in with you.

When he gets to where you can communicate verbally with him, you can begin moving him to his own room, but NEVER make him feel abandoned there--or it just works against you.

Honestly, we do this backwards in this country. The more secure and safe a little one feels, the more quickly and easily they move into independence--judge the timing by him, and try to be patient. I promise you won't have a 20 year old in your bed with you!

Fiora

I can totally relate! My son was just like that until about 18 months. At that point I began rubbing his back and making a shhh sound every time he nursed. After a week or two of doing this he began to associate back rubs and this sound with being comforted. I then began to use the backrubs as a substitute for one or two nursing sessions during the night. He began to sleep for longer stretches but still woke up a lot. After several months of this our physician told us that he would simply continue to wake up a lot at night until we completely cut out night nursing. We decided to do this gradually, cutting out one or two nursings at a time and substituting it with other methods of comforting. Once we stopped nursing at night our son began to sleep from 8pm to 5am without waking up (we rub his back at 5am so that he'll sleep for another hour before his "wake-up nursie". We're very grateful that we chose to take the slow and gentle approach and that we're all better slept these days. Good luck!

Honestly, I don't know how anyone co-sleeps with their children. What happens when another child comes along? Does everyone sleep in the same bed? How do you sleep through their noises as an infant? I was never coordinated enough to nurse in bed so it never was an option for us. Doesn't intimacy between husband and wife suffer enormously? Though co-sleeping was never an option for us, I think a gradual change is a better option for moving the child out than an abrupt one - they need time to adjust. Our kids don't feel any less loved because they slept in their own cribs in their own rooms like much of the advice seems to imply. To each their own, but I also had two girls who slept through the night before coming home from the hospital (c-section births). Our third, a boy (7 months), is still not sleeping through the night consistently. I think it has a lot to do with what they are used to and when you change it, you have to expect it to take time for adjustment . . . good luck, your little one will figure it out. Remember, no child ever got hurt from crying a little. Following your instincts, they are rarely ever wrong.

I ran into the same problem when my (now 22 year old) son was about the same age. Our pediatrician suggested we let the child cry for 15 minutes at a time, and then quietly go into the room and lay him down. You may pat him, but don't give him any more attention. Simply let him know you're there, but that he needs to lay down and go to sleep. It took us one night of doing this for several hours before our son fell fast asleep and didn't disrupt our night like that again.

Have you tried putting a t.v. in his bedroom? It sounds wrong, but trust me. I'm one of those moms who don't believe in sticking your toddler infront of the t.v., but.....
I've found that keeping an assortment of approved movies or DVD's on a shelf in my childs room, then letting him pick one out for bedtime works wonderful. My husband and I can enjoy some extra time together as Anthony watches his movie in bed untill he falls asleep, and he does. Having a t.v. that's his, in his room, actually takes the pressure off him feeling alone. You might even try laying with him untill he gets into the movie he picked out. And don't worry about the whole sleeping in momy's and daddy's room. There is no such thing as the right way to raise a child. We did the same thing with Anthony and when the time was right (for him 2.5 years old)we just weaned him off our bed just like everything else.

Ouch....I feel for you! My son was similarly sleep-challenged at that age. Make sure you rule out reflux as a problem (babies with reflux cry tons when horizontal, after eating, spit up more than most) and have him checked for sinus problems, since postnasal drip or blocked nasal breathing can cause frequent waking. After that, I'd look at Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers( there's a version for infants as well but sounds like the toddler one is for you)...it's a book with lots of guidance on how to sensitively and compassionately help your child sleep on their own. Good luck!

My daughter was really good at night from birth til now, it's my son we had to deal with. He always woke up about 4 times a night easily. Yes, it was our fault that they slept with us, but it is fixed now. What I did was just laid in their bed until they fell asleep, yes he would wake up and get back into bed with us, but after a little bit when he would fall asleep again we would take him back to his bed. Before you know it, he knew where he was supposed to be sleeping. Of course, there still would be that occasional visit in the middle of the night, but we would just walk him back into his room and assure him that it was OK to sleep there.

You have a plethora of advice from moms, I will just add one suggested book to your reading list: Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" - lots of research, lots of examples, no one solution (flexible) to accomodate your family situation/needs. Worth reading.

I honestly do not know where these "new" ideas come from such as co-sleeping. I have 5 adult children, and never ever went through these issues, since my children had their own beds and we had ours. AND...they were very well loved, and had an abundance of attention. I personally do not believe in the co-sleeping after watching my oldest daughter with her 5 children. There for awhile there was hardly any room for her and her husband, since there were 5 children in the bed. Secondly, I felt it unfair to she and her husband. What about their own space, and privacy? And yes, she had to deal with the crying kids when it was time for them to move into a room of their own, which could have been avoided had she not started the practice at all. I think that by far undoes all you were trying to do in the first place, and really traumatizes them. I do recall my own children crying when they transferred from their crib into a "big boy" or "big girl" bed, and we remedied that with back rubs and patting them, as well as soothing music. After 2 nights of that, they were totally adjusted. You might want to give this a try.
I think the real problem is you've given them total security, and then when your presence is gone for even a short while, they become insecure and upset. And I'm sure we'd feel the same way if something we had gotten used to was yanked out from under us. Please moms...stop this terrible habit, and get your child used to his/her own space right from the beginning. It will definitely avoid a lot of phychologically damaging episodes down the road.

When my 13-yr-old was an infant, she slept great until 9 months and then started waking. The problem was solved after three nights of the Ferber method. You don't just let the child cry all night...

The first night you go back in and comfort--every minute or two, but you don't pick the baby up, rock, nurse, etc. You rub the back, sing, soothe, then leave again. The crying starts up, you wait a minute or two longer then repeat the process. Keep addining minutes between your response time until the baby falls asleep. The point is to reassure the baby that it's not alone and that it's cries will be responded to. It may take hours the first night.

The second night you repeat the process, but wait 5 minutes the first time, 8 the second, 11 the third... Again, it might take a while.

The third night, stretch the response time out even more.

For us, our baby fell asleep within 15 minutes on the third night and the problem was solved. I realize it might not work that quickly for everyone one, but it's not "just letting them cry." There is a definite system. I am sure the book must still be available somewhere. It's been so long, I can't remember the exact title, but I'm sure if you google Ferber and sleep you'll find it. Good luck!

My guess is it is separation anxiety probably mixed with cutting molars...My 17 month old sleeps really well usually but as soon as he starts cutting teeth he is moaning and whining every half hour throught he night. He is in the process of transitioning out of our room. He has moved onto the crib matress next to our bed. It is funny but his teeth never seem to interupt nap time during the day or change his mood during the day but once night time and bedtime come along it is the end of the world for him. And giving him motrin or tylenol seems to make him even more uncomfortable..he does better without it!! I say give him a few nights to see how it goes and maybe try something like transitioning him from your room instead of cold turkey completely...this is hard which is why with my next due any day I will not be co-sleeping with him...we had one easy co-sleeper who went into his own bed and room nicely but ther second one has been just a bear for us!! Good luck!!

I'm not clear on where he is sleeping now and what you are doing when he wakes up... If he is sleeping separately from you, I would highly recommend bringing him back into your bed and continuing to cosleep for another year or two or three. The fact that you coslept with him for the first year is not the problem, it is the natural thing for all mammals to sleep with their babies. From what you say, it sounds like the problem is that you separated him from you at night before he was old enough. Of course he feels abandoned when he is all alone at night! And the fact that he screams for you when you have tried to let him cry it out is actually a very good sign that he is well attached to you.

Some people may tell you that if you don't get him out of your bed now he will never leave, which is absolutely not true. As a child's needs are met and they feel secure, they naturally move out into the world more. My children slept with me until they were about three or four (eventually having their own beds right next to mine), and they have grown into wonderful secure loving independent adults who now cosleep with their babies. If your bed doesn't seem big enough and you don't yet have a "cosleeper" type of bed next to yours (which could be as simple as two mattresses on the floor next to each other), I'd suggest that as a good way to help him sleep longer stretches. That way there is enough room for everyone to sleep, and you can easily respond to his nighttime needs (breastfeeding, cuddling etc) and then go back to sleep. You can start the night with him in his bed next to yours and then, when he wakes up, roll over to attend to him and then roll back into your bed, or at some point during the night it may be simpler to take him into your bed.

When you start cosleeping with him again, he will probably settle into sleeping longer stretches, once he feels secure that you are there for him and will meet his needs (it may take a little while for him to regain trust in you, and he may need to cry some (in your arms) to release the trauma of having been abandoned, so be patient with him). It is natural for all of us to awaken several times during the night, and so the length of time that he sleeps in a stretch will probably continue to fluctuate some as he grows, gets new teeth, etc.

I just read the other responses and agree totally with Theresa S, also some of the other ideas about having a big boy bed close to yours. And it sounds like teething or other issues could be contributing, but really it sounds like the main problem is that he is separated from you. Please take him back into your arms and cherish him while he is young, it sounds like you are a wonderful caring mother!

Hi J.,
It does seem as thought his waking up is in direct response to his change in sleeping arrangements. Is there any way you could keep him with you and your husband a little longer? Perhaps over time (and I mean months) you could move him out of your bed to one right next to your bed, then across the room then into his own room. Co-sleeping is very secure and beneficial to your child. He is also at the age where separation from you will be a cause for anxiety. My advice: try co-sleeping until he is older and set a goal that you work out with him: When you are 3 you will sleep in your own room. Try to get him to buy in to the change.

J.-
Here's my advice and I am surprised more folks didn't suggest this. YOu put a double size futon mattress on your floor in a spot from which he can see you. You snuggle him in, do the normal bedtime routine etc. If he wakes at night you tuck him back in maybe even stay and snuggle( chances are you'll fall asleep there, too-- that's okay)Make certain that you and your husband take turns here, otherwise it becomes a complete mommy attachment issue that has its own troubles.

Have a similar set-up in his room. Have him nap in his room, with you if he needs.Eventually, and you'll know when this is-- your his mommy you know these things REMEMBER THAT when people start second guessing your judgement-- you can start transitioning him in to his room at night.

This age is particularly prone to separation anxiety. They are just beginning to realize that you are not actually attached to them and that you can "disappear". Don't push it, ease into it.

AND GET SOME SLEEP! We all parent better when we have slept.

Healthy Sleep Habilts Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth saved me with my first child. It is all based on scientific research from sleep studies. Includes adult sleep patterns as well.

Somewhat your fault...you think!!! Does he take naps in his own room? Make it fun for him to sleep in his room. Do you still any of the baby toys that attach to the cribs? My grandson had one that looked like a remote even to turn the music off and on. What about those aquariums? Let him pick out something he'd like to have in his bed with him. You can't mae it a part time thing though thinking that you'll work him into it. That won't work. You have to go cold turkey on him but he has to want to. Let him pick out a favorite stuff animal that he only gets when he goes to bed. There has to be something that is really special that he can take to bed with him and only in bed.

Good luck and enjoy your privacy when you go to bed.

Grandma Lin

This happened with my now almost 3 year old daughter. The only that seemed to work is after we moved her to her crib (we made the conscious decision to co sleep as well)we gave her a transitional toy. It's one of those Fisher-Price Soothing Seas Ocean Wonder Aquarium crib toys, only ours is a cricket/waterfall sounds one. It worked wonders and is now used (for the same purpose- a transitional toy)for our now 18 month old son. Good luck!

Hi,
Maybe you should let him co-sleep with you awhile longer. Or start him off in his own bed then bring him in with you after his first waking. My 14 month old daughter still sleeps with us. I'm still nursing her though. My husband and I are thinking we will let her guide us as to when she is ready. First I'll wean her then we'll gradually move her into her own bed. With my first baby, I weaned her at 1 year and then we moved her into a crib in our room for awhile then into her own room. Gradual seemed to work best.

Dear J.,

First and foremost, I don't think it's your "fault". I think it was wonderful for you to cuddle your child the during the first years of his life. YOU gave him love and security. They grow up way too fast. I think it's proof that they feel closer to you without an textbook explaination when they grow up with parents who have been physically closer during infant stage. You might be experiencing the wake up because of the trial to move. He might feel insecure right now. I willing to bet that as soon as he feels there no chance of him being away from you, that will stop. Every baby is different, all of them will love you no matter what.
They will show you their independance way before you are ready.
So... enjoy your time. Cuddle him anytime you can. Tell him it's a joy to have him with you. Kiss him as much as he will let you. Enjoy the gift from heaven.

Best Wishes.

N.

is he getting his molars? My daughters all came in around 14, 15 mos and she was waking hourly for at least a month or two. When the last one finally broke through she started sleeping longer stretches- 3,4 even 5 hours at a time. The 8 to 10 hour stretches started happening right around her 2nd birthday, after the 2 year molars came in (but that set was way easier on her than the first)

I have so much empathy for you. There were times when i thought i would just die if she woke me up one more time. I just kept telling myself that it wouldn't last forever and that I was doing the right thing by being ther for her at night when she needed me or was in pain.

Keep your chin up, he WILL sleep some day!

Hi J.,
From my perspective your toddler has insomnia. I am suggesting to read more about L&D effects on your baby's occiput. Here's a link: http://www.osteopathiccenter.org/common.html
There are 2 pediatric osteopaths in the greater Seattle area. Also there are craniosacral therapists that specialize on releasing the occiput of your child to assist in sleep.
This is a new concept for moms. It's a serious topic that can be resolved in several weeks with treatment rather than the trauma of crying it out. It's a structural issue from birth. I have more info if you are interested in talking. Best wishes, B. C

J.,

What we've done with both my kids may help you. My son is 4 1/2 and my daughter is 14, almost 15 months old.

We do our normal bed time routine and put them in bed. Usually they go to sleep easily, but there are nights when there are problems getting to sleep. If they (usually my daughter) wakes up fussing I give her about 5 minutes to try and soothe herself. If her cry changes at all to a "I'm scared" or "I'm mad" during those 5 minutes I go in immediately and comfort her (more in a minute). If she's still fussing at the end of the 5 minutes I'll go in and comfort her.

There are two ways that she usually gets Mommy comfort. 1) rock with her in her rocking chair until she's drowsy again and put her in bed, or 2) cuddle her right at crib side while swaying from foot to foot until she's drowsy and put her back in bed. Depending on how tear-streaked/upset she is determines whether we rock or sway. This usually works, but there are also the nights where she just DOES NOT!!!! want to sleep in her crib, and those are the nights where she'll cry for an hour or more.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

I have a 3 1/2 month old and he has never slept more then 3 hours in a row at night. Until I picked up the No cry sleeping solution by Elizabeth Pantely. It has a lot of helpful hints/method and my son actually went down last night at 9 pm, got up at 3 for one feeding and slept until 9 am. Which is amazing to me, since I have been so sleep deprived. I just couldn't let him cry it out. It may work for you, pick up the book. It also talks about when parents no longer co-sleep together. I found it helpful.

Hope this helps.... take care

As a mother of five boys I have to suggest for most babies not to rush certain aspects. Potty training, walking and sleeping alone. All of these things are natural independance so you do not need to rush them; in fact, by experience the more they are rushed the longer it will take for you to gain progress.

J.-

You've had a ton of advice, but here's my two cents anyhow... I have 3 (5, 2&1/2, 1&1/2) and with all three transitioning to their own bed from sleeping in Mom and Dad's room was a long (and sometimes heart-wrenching process). The thing that worked best for me was a combination of the five-minute-rule and the "walking chair" idea.

With the five-minute rule the basics are that you do your bedtime routine for baby and then lay them down. If they start to fuss, just walk out for five minutes. Then go in and talk, pat, sing, or whatever works to soothe the little one (without picking him up) for five minutes. Walk back out and leave for 7, go back in and soothe for 5. Then out for 10 and in for 5. Out for 15, in for 5. You may need to repeat this a couple of times a night for a while, and you may need to do it for a week or more, but it works. It seems like a lot, but if the little one isn't used to falling asleep on his own, this method helps condition their system for self-soothing.

The five minute rule works well for babies and young toddlers. The "walking chair" method is good for older toddlers/young preschoolers. That one is similar to the five minute but you excuse yourself from your little one's side when they're drowsy and then come back to "check" on them. And every couple of nights or so, move yourself away from their bed. (ie - hold them, hold their hand, stand next to the bed, stand 1 foot away, 3 feet away, in the doorway...)

I went through a very similar thing with my first one, too. It seemed to take forever to get him to learn to sleep in his own bed. But now he sleeps so solid that he'd probably sleep through an earthquake!! LOL...

These methods worked for me, I hope you can find something that will work for you, too.

Best of luck!
-B. M.-

My daughter went through a phase like this around one year of age. It's exhausting and frustrating. At that point I was sleeping with her on a mattress on the floor in her room. A few things changed. One, my husband started going in a few times a night to soothe her instead of me. This took a while and she definitely protested his involvement but it worked and she started sleeping longer stretches. She still wakes up a lot though.

I feel strongly that the cry it out method does more harm than good. Naturally, it depends on the personality of your child. You know what your child can and can't handle.

My thought it that your child is feeling some emotional or physical discomfort and needs some extra reassurance and love. In my opinion, by giving this to him you are creating a confident and secure child that knows he can trust that you're there to meet his needs.

It's important to hear too that this is just a phase. It won't last forever! He will eventually sleep on his own. Best of luck.

K.

I have nothing but moral support for you. I have an 18-month-old who was horrendous through the night from about 5 months to just a couple of months ago. Up to 5 months he would sleep a six-hour stretch each night. So we didn't know what hit us. He's our second though, so this time around I didn't look at the clock in the night. It kept me saner. We suspected teething and/or gas so we tried infants Mylicon, Tylenol, Motrin, homeopathic remedies (OTC and those prescribed by a Naturopathic Doctor). We had him tested for food sensitivities, we eliminated foods from my diet and his. He took baby probiotics. Nothing was a magic bullet. His nights fluctuated from bad to terrible without any real connection to the remedies we were trying. Then, a couple of months ago, after he broke his 16th baby tooth and began to sleep more solidly at night. He still wakes up at least 3 time in the night, but its so much better now. Try to keep you sanity. It's tough, I know. For me, I felt that I should not let him cry it out because he seemed to be in discomfort. Breaking a bad habit is one thing, but leaving a child who is uncomfortable or in pain I just couldn't do. Good luck. These first few years are just hard--for parents and for babies!

We had a similar problem with our oldest son. (And later it resulted in some sleep walking) but what we did, is set up a day bed or futon matress in his room, we'd sleep in there or simply lay down until he was asleep, then would either leave, or spend the night there. Slowly but surely he got comfortable sleeping in his crib without us in the room.

Hi my name is A. i'm a mother of two little girls 6 1/2 4 1/2 they used to wake up all the time screaming, sometimes every five min. What we did was first calm them down bye taking them outside, that works, give them a warm bath, read a book or two in there room, and last but not least play a soft lulaby on repeat these are the things that had worked for my girls when they were that age. I hope these work for you.

Perhaps he has too much room and it is too quiet. You may want to try tucking a comforter around him and dressing him in warm jammies with feet. That'll help him feel squished and warm. You also may try music...a cd player on continuous play. We did this with our daughter who came from an orphanage and would wake up every hour after her music stopped. She needed noise as quiet was too quiet. We gradually dropped the volume and then stopped continuous play after a couple of months. It worked the first night and she knows that music always means it is bed time and she is fine when it shuts off now that she is secure alone in her own room.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can share what I did. We went through the same thing with our daughter. She slept with us. I didn't want her to do the all night screaming thing either, it sounds so bad. The waking every hour went on for months until we finally decided to let her scream. It was horrible to just sit there when she sounded so sad, but after 3 nights it was over and she slept thru the night. This worked for 9 months or so. But then, we went on some trips and moved so the sleeping arangement got messed up and she started sleeping with us again.The problem was that she was no longer in her crib and we had no way to keep her there against her will and just let her scream it out.I believe that you need to go thru it now when you can leave your son in a safe place (his crib)while he cries it out. I was afraid my daughter would wander the house and hurt herself.I feel that I should have done something different, like put her back in a crib, but I felt bad. We just got her out of our bed 3 nightds ago. We had 2 decent nights then last night she tried to come and sleep with usn we put her back and cuddled with her for a minute. She is just learning how to sleep by herself and she is 4 and a half.Good Luck. Also, the screaming may sound bad but your child isn't in any pain. If I were to do it again. Don't move you kid to a big bed too soon and let them cry it out to develope soothing skills early.

Nothing is harder to deal with than sleep issues. Not only are you exhausted yourself, but by the end of the day, you need a break too. I am not a supporter of the CIO method because like your son, my daughter will scream for 2 to 3 hours unitl she throws up and never go to sleep. However, we did not co-sleep just because I couldn't sleep with her in bed with us. I have learned not to rush right in to her room everytime she crys and wimpers. I tend to give her about 10/15 mins to try and work it out herself.
I read the no cry sleep solution and I thought it was a great book with lots of good advice. it may not solve your issues, but it will give you lots of good ideas. One thing that worked wonders for us was "white noise." I have a small enclosed fan that I run at night and naps and it has made a huge difference.
And have a really strong consistent bed time routine. I still rock my daughter until she is almost asleep and then put her down. I use to have to rock her all the way to sleep or else I was doomed, but as she has gotten older (now 19 months), we gradually have been able to do it sooner.
Just take it slow, no rush, and eventually it will work.
Good luck.

Ideas for coping with child waking up so often. There was a piece on Dr. Phil about that. They used a small TV that played a darling 20 minute video of sleeping animals. All the animals going to sleep, and soft music. Something to try for coping at the beginning of bed time, you'd hold him and watch the video then put him to bed. It was mentioned that the baby needs to learn coping skills to put itself back to sleep. Check his diet before bed, lighting in the room, go online and buy the video. The shared bed definately makes it harder for him to find coping skills alone. But not impossible. I hope you find a solution that works for you.

Teething molars most likely. Try tylenol.

Hey J.,

I'm thinking ear infection. Little ones can have an ear infection with no fever, no ear pain...until they lay down and the pressure builds in their head. If it were me, I'd take him to the pediatrician and ask that they check his ears. Until you can get him in, I'd recommend using ibuprofen to ease the inner ear swelling.

Good luck.

D. P.

Mother of four, ranging in age from 5-20.

This is prime time for separation anxiety, especially after he has been sleeping with mom and dad for all but two months of his life. I also don't agree with the cry it out approach. I found a book by Elizabeth Pantley--"the no-cry sleep solution for toddlers and preschoolers." I haven't finished reading it yet, but there are a lot of different suggestions in there that I am going to use for my own child. Good luck.