My 13 Year Old Son

One word
"Counseling"
it can make a world of diffrence if you do it as a family.

Um I would check into counseling. Just to see why his behavoir is that way. DO a trial run at his fathers house. He is getting older and may think his dad understands him more. Sorry i dont mean to offend you but as girls get older the mom tends to understand better about our changes. I dont think it is all his age. But definately call to get him assessed. Theres nothing wrong with going to counseling.

Well...I know it's hard but your son is old enough to be able to make desicions for himself (with limitations of course). Sit down with your son and ask him how he feels about all the things that are going on. Ask your son if he's acting this way because he would prefer to be with his father. I know it's hard for a mom to do such a thing, but right now it sounds like it's going to be beneficial for all of you. If he's acting out because he's wanting to live with his father, chances are that forcing him to stay with you could have further effects on his emotional/behavioral life. If he wants to be with his father maybe it's the best thing right now.

Kids need tough love sometimes. Be strong. With the school situation, might want to look into charter schools. They are better equipped to handle children who are stealing, lieing, and doing poorly. They will certainly boost his self esteem, encourage him to seek the help he needs. Just a thought!

Hi V.. I have two girls..no boys. But I have a younger brother who is the same as your son. My mother is also divorced and does not get along with the father. My brother finally went to live with his dad. I think it has been very good for him. His dad might let him get away with things now because of his relationship to you. But see what happens when they live together. His father may not be so easy going after a few problems. Maybe a father is what he needs right now. I say send him to his dad's and focus on your other two boys. Hope this helps a little.

G.

I also have a 13 year old son. Several people have indicated that you should let him live with his father. I would be concerned that he would just learn to disrespect women and you more as you have stated that his father treats you badly. My advice would be to seek counseling, give him lots of positive attention and don't give up on him. Let him know you love him and show him how to give another person respect. Can you expect him to learn this from his father? Court battles can get ugly, the father might be trying to be the "fun" parent so that your son wants to live with him. Only let him go to his father's if you are confident that's the right decision and if your son is mature enough to tell you that's what he wants without any anger or resentment toward you as the motive.

Dear V.,

If I were you, and I truly mean this, I would let the 13 year old live with his father. This is too hard on the other two boys. The 13 year old will blame you no matter what happens, so let him go. He will get to see another part of parenting, and who knows it might be the best thing for him. His dad will get to see what being a parent is all about too.

My husband was very disrespectful to me too and it hurt my relationship with my son. You can't fix it, so let them work it out. Remember, you have a huge job with the other two boys, as I said before, and they deserve to have the best Mom that you can be to them.

Do not blame yourself either, this is the world, isn't it? Not a rose garden as the song goes. Your heart will break to have the 13 year old gone, but keep in close touch, do not ask any questions except how are you? do you need anything for school? I love you and we keep your picture up in the - kitchen, living room, etc. . Come by and see us on (some day) and let me know I will cook your favorite dish. Show love not disdain, and do not pout. O.K.? O.K.
Sincerely, C. N.

Hi V., My name is Noelle, I have 3 boys also, ages 18,15,6 and my 18 year old and 15 year old, give me a hard time also, I'm also a single mom raising the boys, and they all have different dads, but their dads have never been in the picture, and it's been hard, I just let them know that there won't be a tolerance for disrespect at all, and I try to set boundaries with my boys, and it seems to work, my email address is ____@____.com if you would like to talk some more, have a great day and god bless. Noelle.

I had problems with both of my sons when they were living at home although they are 19 & 18 at this time I was always at there school so one day I decided I got keep going through that anymore because I have 2 daughters also so one day they got into problem and the police called me I let the police know I was going to give them tough love I told the police to keep them over night. And the next day I went and ya they wanted to come home so I took them. You should take your son to have the police to talk with him it sure did scare my sons it even scared my daughters. But us mothers dill with all the problems of the family but we need to stand strong and show tough love my husband is the one that told me that so I did it .
Ya we don't want to see our childern hurt it's hard but when they don't listen to what we say then we need to do other thinks. I hope this helps you.